Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

@wanderlove scheduled dtd always fun 😂
@Honey2 your chart looks similar to mine this month 🤞🏻 for some positive news!

@Marvellouslymadmum any idea why FF hasn’t identified ov yet?? I thought it put the cross hairs lines on after the 3rd day of temp rises?? I make that today...

@Honey2 I think it sometimes takes a little longer to identify it, mine changed it 3 times this month!

It’s looking like bad news from me. After seeing the lines get darker since Friday, I had a lighter one this morning. I wasn’t too worried as I felt nauseous and had lots of symptoms. Tonight I did an Frer and it looks faint for 14 dpo. I guess I need to try and relax and see what the morning brings. Xx

Oh No @Catconfusion were the other tests frers? Perhaps you had drank more liquids and urine is more diluted? Stay positive

Thanks @October1979 the other tests were Wondfro so much less sensitive but I was getting decent lines until this morning. My samples have seemed pale today so I don’t know, maybe I have been too hydrated. It was with a 2 hr hold so a guess a fmu test will confirm. I’ve been getting a bit of cramping but nothing major. Af is due on Friday as my Lp is 16 days. It’s just so disheartening. This cycle has been so long and exhausting. I just hoped this was it for us but I’m not too sure now. Xx

@Catconfusion Have you tried another wondfro for comparison? I wouldn't worry. My lines by this point were very pale. Different tests have different dye levels. I would only compare the same type of tests with each other xx

@October1979 I agree in most circumstances about not comparing different brands but the frers are so sensitive so a faint line at 4 weeks is not normally good news. Yes the Wondfro looked a bit fainter this morning and about the same this afternoon so not really progressing, that’s why I did the Frer for reassurance. I might be completely wrong and I get a stronger line tomorrow. I’m trying not to lose hope but it’s tough. Xx

@Catconfusion ah I’m so sorry to read this. This whole journey can be absolutely heartbreaking. I really hope it turns out ok for you x

I know @Catconfusion it's tough - your mind is saying staying positive when your heart is telling you to not get carried away and protect yourself. I am thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for stronger lines tomorrow. Sending a big virtual hug xxx

Aw thank you @Honey2 I was so naive before I started ttc about what can go wrong. It’s all come as a bit of a shock. Sending baby dust your way! Xx

Thank you so much @October1979 unfortunately it’s bad news today. My Frer with fmu is pretty much negative as is my wondfro. I know I need to call the GP but I’m so scared we won’t get any support. At 39 and before ds they were amazing but the good doctor has retired now and I’m really worried they’re just going to say it’s age and we need to pay for support. This is frustrating when I feel it’s a lifelong health problem that’s causing this. I’m pretty sure I need Clomid with my long cycles. I was day 36 when I ovulated so the egg probably wasn’t great by then. We were on a path for Clomid before ds surprised us. I guess I need to take a deep breath and call them this morning. Xx

Oh @Catconfusion I'm so sorry GPS can be really unhelpful at this time especially for us older ladies, it feels likes we're just dismissed and expected to accept it might not happen because of our age. I've been waiting for a call back from my GP for over 2 weeks now about doing some more tests and possibly going on to Clomid, but I feel like I'm bothering them every time I call or email to find out something, so I might just bite the the bullet and pay for it privately. Sending virtual hugs

Thanks @sabtom that sounds awful and if it is down to age it’s ageist to not support you. If anything we need more support over 40 if ttc because time is running out. I do hope you get on a path for Clomid soon. They used to dish it out quite easily. My mum and sister both needed it to conceive due to long cycles and got it easily. I think now you need scans and it’s via the fertility clinic so not so clear cut. I really hope you get some news soon from the GP! Xx

Im so sorry @Catconfusion that is such sad news. I'm thinking of you xxx

@Catconfusion @sabtom I asked the private fertility clinic about clomid and they said if I didn't need it it could damage my fertility. I guess if they were going to prescribe it to you @Catconfusion they think it would work for you. I read some stuff on Clomid wondering if I should try to get a prescription even over the internet and they seem to not advise it over 40 but I don't know why?

@October1979 I know several people who’ve taken it over 40 to increase chances. One had it prescribed by the GP. That was years ago though and I’m pretty sure now you need scans to check for hyper stimulation. So I wouldn’t get a prescription on your own in case you have a problem. This is probably a bit more likely if your ovulation is normal so might be why they’re not recommending it.

In my case it would be a first line approach to improve my ovulation as it’s so late and I have possible pcos. I’m going to look into how much it is privately but I’m pretty sure we can’t afford it. Hoping the doctor will refer me due to my history. As I said they were happy to before but we have ds and I’m over 40 now. Xx

I hope you get good support from your GP @Catconfusion they should be doing all they can to help xx

Thanks @October1979 you know maybe it just age but I can’t help but think ovulating on day 36 isn’t good for the outcome. At least if we try Clomid and get similar results we’ll know! Xx

Oh @Catconfusion I’m sending all the love I can your way. I know it’s something we are all prepared for, but no less upsetting just because there’s a possibility. Hugs xxx

Thanks @Geriatric1234 I really appreciate it. I think because I had ds last year I just assumed this time would be easy and to be honest I’ve not been prepared for multiple miscarriages. I probably need to stop burying my head in the sand and accept this comes with the territory at our age. Xx

@Catconfusion so sorry, really hoped this was it for you 😞 do call your gp though, they can still refer you for tests and clomid if they think you need it on nhs they just don't offer ivf if you've already got a child. Hope you're feeling ok? I know it's not easy to just accept it and move on

@sabtom gp generally won't prescribe clomid but will refer you to gynaecology who can if they feel it's necessary

@October1979 it's Incase you have a low ovarian reserve as they dont want it to use what eggs you have left if it's not a lot. A fertility clinic will check your ovarian reserve etc first

@Marvellouslymadmum @Catconfusion @October1979 I have a feeling I won't be given Clomid anyway cause my cycles are pretty regular and I was told I'm ovulating, however I'm convinced my progesterone is lower than it should be. I did get a solid smiley yesterday and peak peak today on the strips. So hopefully ovulation is imminent 🤞🏻 I am annoyed about the one steps OPKs though. I've been using since the beginning and I've never really had a dark line, and I thought I wasn't ovulating, so I bought a different brand this month and the difference is staggering! (See pic). I've never had a dark line like that before! So I'll be using this brand and clearblue from now on.

@sabtom that's exactly the problem I had with the one steps too! Either nothing or barely anything

Hi ladies, wanted to ask if people have had their Covid jabs or waiting?