Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

@Ronnyrambler @Marvellouslymadmum Yes! That was me! I’ve really looked into AMH and it means pretty much nothing unless the value is zero if you are trying to conceive naturally. It’s ALWAYS going to be low at our age but a long as it isn’t 0 that means you still have eggs left. It also doesn’t give any indication at all about quality, you may have less eggs left than a 30 year old, but if you’re healthy and genetically lucky, they may be better quality!

It’s a useful test to have to know you’re still fertile, but it’s important to those trying to conceive naturally is MASSIVELY exaggerated. My sister is pregnant at 39 with an AMH of 2.3, and she got pregnant 2nd cycle after chemotherapy for breast cancer!

Have you had your follicle count done?

I’ma broken record with this, but I swear this is just all about being patient and playing roulette for the good egg. That book is a great place to start - I do all the supplements!

@Ronnyrambler I think this article about AMH is quite good:

www.healthline.com/health/fertility/amh#test-results

@BoffinMum Thank you! And I totally agree!! X

@Honey2 happy birthday for Saturday! I'd say your body is either trying to ovulate or it may be tomorrow, unless you have the same issue with me with the opk strips and can't get a decent reading on them! I hate that I just turned 42 and that's an oap on the ttc terms but I'm over it a bit now lol

@BoffinMum that's great to hear thank you for sharing!

@Marvellouslymadmum thanks for replying! Yes feeling like bodies trying to ovulate - I finally got a peak opk yesterday and had another slight temp rise this morning so could have ov yesterday.. still got very painful ov pains this morning though - and on the other side to yesterday which is weird as I though only one side each month prepares to release an egg. Fingers crossed my temps keep rising 🤞 I’ve attached my chart to see what you think!

On another note - does anyone follow the Radford family (22 kids and counting) I was wondering the other day what’s her secret?! She’s had at least 2 kids post 40 and doesn’t appear to have any issues conceiving!

Forgot to add my chart!

@Honey2 my chart looks a bit like this, got a dip before my peak then slow rise and ff eventually changed ov day to the day after peak so likely you're ovulating today, I've had pains in both sides before though interestingly enough none at all this month! Re the daddies family, she prob gets pregnant each time whilst still extra fertile from the last, plus they are clearly both super fertile anyway 🙄 I can't imagine having that many children!!

@Marvellouslymadmum god I hope so! DTD 4 nights in a row I think is about our limited at our age 🙈 lol

How are you getting on?

Sorry first time posting on here....so not sure of all the abbreviations ! I’m 41 and TTC with baby no.3 I’m with a new partner......my youngest daughter is 14 so quite an age gap and a lot has changed (my gosh the price of Prams for one 😱)

I know my sister took a year with each of hers to fall pregnant !

Just wanted to say you’re not alone in your forties ! I’d say if you’re concerned speak to your GP. I fell straight away with my last two bit this one is taking a little longer but 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

[quote Honey2]@Marvellouslymadmum thanks for replying! Yes feeling like bodies trying to ovulate - I finally got a peak opk yesterday and had another slight temp rise this morning so could have ov yesterday.. still got very painful ov pains this morning though - and on the other side to yesterday which is weird as I though only one side each month prepares to release an egg. Fingers crossed my temps keep rising 🤞 I’ve attached my chart to see what you think!

On another note - does anyone follow the Radford family (22 kids and counting) I was wondering the other day what’s her secret?! She’s had at least 2 kids post 40 and doesn’t appear to have any issues conceiving![/quote]
Love the Radford family !

@Honey2 oops autocorrect fail again! Radford not daddies 😂 we only managed to dtd one day this fw and it was the Thursday before I got my peak on Saturday so I'm probably out this month anyway plus had a random huge temp this morning - no idea what that's about!!
@Bluelightbaby welcome! I'm in a very similar situation to you, I have a 16 and 15 yo from previous relationship and fell pregnant straight away with both, my new (5.5 years) partner has a 14 & 13 yo with his ex. We have now been ttc together for over 3 years and had 2mc and 2cp and I'm 42. Seen lots of bfps of similar ages recently though so that's promising!

I’m sorry to hear about your 2mc (sorry new to this so not sure what 2cp is 😬)

My partner is ten years younger than me and doesn’t have any children so he’s very excited - I’m feeling the pressure !!

@Bluelightbaby cp is chemical pregnancies which are very early losses. So when you get a positive test then a few days later your af (Aunt Flo/period) arrives. My partner is 3 years younger than me. How long have you been ttc so far? Have you had any tests done through gp?

Ahh ok thanks, sorry getting my head around all the abbreviations! No the first month I was a bit late so just tested at home, it was negative and then AF (check me out using the abbreviation !) started a few days later. This is now our second month and I’m currently mid cycle.....

Haven’t had any tests done at GP, I’m a paramedic and tbh the clear blue tests are way more accurate in early detection than the GP ones (I know this as we carry the same tests on our ambulances)

It’s only early days for us and tbh we’re enjoying trying 🤣 I think if after 6months or do and still nothing I’ll discuss with GP

Yes sorry I didn't meant hcg test with gp more investigations like blood tests etc, they will do those for you after 6 months.

Hi again everyone. It's so reassuring to read everyone's stories. Sometimes I doubt my sanity trying for a baby at 41! However you do see women getting pregnant in their forties (like Sue Redford) and think it must be possible. I think I'd regret not trying. I've started with the opk test. I'm using the clear blue one which is expensive but thought good to start off with whilst I get my head around it. It's been interesting so far as my app says I should be entering my fertile window but the opks say no (just the ⭕️). I did notice when I was getting the test strip out that the second line was darker than the day before so hopefully this means my hormones may be increasing. I've honestly never known so much about my body with the endless testing, temping and googling!

I'm really struggling with the fertility friend app. It's prob mr but I just can't get my head around where to put opk results and temps. Does anyone have any other app recs?

@wanderlove don't pay any attention to the lines on the cb opk if they're the purple digital advance ones. They test for two hormones so the lines don't mean the same. I use the ff app and the opk are at the bottom of the data but in tests. I also use Femometer which is good

@Marvellouslymadmum
Thank you. That makes sense. So it's not like a control line but two separate ones I guess. Im going to try and crack the fertility friend but if not I may have to try the other one.

@Marvellouslymadmum
I'm
Guessing the green boxes on the ff app are the fertile window? If so it means I am on my last day of fertile window according to ff yet my other app has me three days off ovulation and opks have nothing yet!

@wanderlove yes the green boxes are the fertile window - but until you have put quite a bit of data in the ff app will just place those green boxes mid cycle as the ‘average’ fertile days are here. Once you enter opk details and have completed a full cycle or 2 then the ff app can place the fertile days more acurately.

As for opk’s I use the Femometer ones - much cheaper than the clear blue. They show nothing or very faint on the test line for me right up to the day before my peak reading, but I think they are pretty accurate at spotting your peak LH surge. You can also download the Femometer app as well where you take a pic of the opk strip and it intelligently recognises how much LH there is and tells you if it’s low, high or peak. I’ve attached a pic of mine from this months. Sorry probably too much info in one go 🙈

@wanderlove yes that's it, so they tell you not to take any notice of the lines in those ones. It guesses your fw until you've done your opk/temps and then adjusts it accordingly.

@Honey2 those strips don't work properly for me so I have to use the clearblue ones. The strips just never pick up he surge for me 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Catconfusion just catching up on posts and read your fantastic BFP news! Congratulations!

Hello to everyone else, and those new to the group.

I'm just ticking along here waiting to ovulate. This month we're trying to dtd every other day and just see what happens.

Got a flashing smiley this morning and feel strangely excited . There's nothing like dtd on demand to make you feel unromantic !

@Littlemiss40andfabulous hello! Every other day sounds like a good plan... takes the pressure off a bit rather than intense BD all around ov!

I’ve just ovulated (I think - waiting for FF to confirm) @wanderlove it’s like you say - we DTD 4 nights in a row, by the end it’s not very romantic and becoming hard work (esp at 41!!)

I’ve attached my chart - fingers crossed I ovulated on Monday and really hope all that BD pays off!!