Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

@sabtom sorry it’s what I read on your chart at the bottom?? Is it cervix position?

@Honey2 ohhh it's the opk line 😊

Morning ladies!
Flashing smiley day today - praying for a successful fertile week! 🙏🏻
Good luck to everyone else who is in the same position - hope it's our turn this cycle! xx

Good luck and baby dust to you @soontobeamama 😊

Get pre seed lube! Worked really well for me!

@Hirewiredays - I've got some too - here's hoping..... 🤞🏻 xx

Thanks @sabtom xx

Good luck @soontobeamama and everyone else.
I've been a wee bit quiet this month. I felt odd so tested 11dpo day before expected af and got a faint positive, also 12dpo and a slightly fainter positive both on frer. I only had clear blue today 13dpo and got a couple of faint positives but they are higher HCG needed than frer. Went to the shop for more frers and took one although urine only held for about 2 hours and it's fainter again. Think I'm having another chemical this month 😢

@October1979 oh gosh, I have everything crossed for you!! I don’t think it’s too late to count yourself out yet, only 2 hr hold would make a big difference compared to FMU. I’m sure you won’t want false hope but I really think it’s not over yet xxx

Thanks @Honey2 I have everything crossed but I'm sure they are getting lighter. The same thing happened in February so I'm mentally preparing myself xx

Oh I'm so sorry @October1979 I'll still keep my fingers tightly crossed for you 🤞🏻

Thanks @sabtom can't believe it's happening again xx

Fingers crossed @October1979 xx

@October1979 sorry to read your post - thinking of you as you keep watching and waiting.

AF has arrived for me today so that brings me and DH up to a year of actively trying now, which is quite demoralising. I should change my name now too, to Littlemiss41andfabulous!

Take care everyone x

I’m so sorry to hear your sad news @October1979 So unfair for you to go through this again. Is there anything the Gp can do I.e. referral for investigations about the miscarriages? I know you’re getting private fertility support but surely the nhs could look at why this is happening and rule out any particular causes. Just really gutted for you. Xx

So sorry @Littlemiss40andfabulous to see AF arrived. The year mark must be a difficult stage to reach. I’ve got everything crossed you have some luck soon. Xx

As for me, I finally ovulated. It’s so frustrating my cycles are so long. I’m exhausted from trying to figure out what my body is doing. It’s always been this way. I just hope nether the less we get some luck. Each cycle is taking nearly two months so we’re getting less chances. This is what my chart looks like....Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion lighter line but still there today. Can't see this ending anywhere but another chemical. I doubt my gp will be very helpful. But may try. I think the likelihood will be age related. I suppose they say 90% of eggs are abnormal over 40. But on a positive at least my body is trying. That will be two chemicals in 4 months whilst using Ava @Littlemiss40andfabulous I know how demoralising it is to turn a year older when you are ttc. I felt the same. In fact it was a few days before my 41st birthday I started this post. However on a positive I've had 2 chemicals once 41 and only one MMC at 40. @sabtom I know you use Ava too so have attached my chart for your reference. I had the AstraZeneca vaccine cd20 which accounts for the spike. I wonder if that has anything to do with my predicament now. Thanks everyone for your support it really helps x

@October1979 it’s so horrible. I really do feel for you. I thought after three miscarriages they would investigate on the NHS. I would say just keep pushing. Have you had your tubes checked?

I was really ill after the AZ vaccine. I’ve decided to delay my second dose for now as I got a high fever and I know temperatures are associated with miscarriage. It’s annoying because they’re now recommending the other two vaccines for during pregnancy but no mechanism to book the right jab 🤷🏻‍♀️. I also read some recent advice about having it during AF or in week one of the cycle just in case.

I just find that statistic of 90% of eggs being not viable really difficult to believe. Fertility is such an individual experience so statistics are really problematic. I know so many people who’ve had babies in their 40s. My ds was born when I was nearly 41. If 90% of eggs are bad I don’t know how anyone would conceive at our age.

Just be kind to yourself and do whatever brings you some peace over the next few days. I’ll be thinking of you! Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion I've been told chemical pregnancies are not counted as multiple miscarriages in a row. They only count my MMC at 9 weeks. Also that 25% of conceptions end in chemical pregnancy but most think it's a late period as not tracking like us obviously. I never thought about my tubes. I would assume if they were blocked I wouldn't achieve a chemical? Have you ever heard of anyone with faint positives not progressing at first turning out ok? I've been Googling like a demon trying to cling on to hope. Can't find any myself🥲.I've still feel nauseous and still have sensitive boobs. But not as light headed as I was or as tired. Hopefully this means I'm one step closer and next time will be my turn xx

@Catconfusion it must be so frustrating getting these all the time! I've had a few two month cycles but not too many. My charts are often similar to yours just shorter mostly.

@October1979 sorry you're going through this, it's so confusing not knowing! 🤞🏻 for you though

@October1979 really!! My second mc was a chemical and I was told it could be investigated after a third. I get the gps point that they are common but you don’t have the time to just wait and see. I think it’s very unfair if they won’t investigate.

Also unfair you’re not getting more support generally. My friend started ttc at 32 and had three miscarriages over two years before having two babies naturally in quick succession. Because of her age she got a referral for fertility support and to investigate her miscarriages. It’s really cruel there’s not more nhs support for you. It might not be age related so it should be checked out.

I think it would be worth looking at your tubes. If a tube is blocked a pregnancy might still try and implant so you could in theory still have a chemical with a tubal pregnancy. Obviously your mmc was in the right place but that’s not to say your other tube isn’t blocked. Also some anatomical differences in the uterus can cause multiple miscarriages. I know you’ve had some blood tests but I think some internal investigations would be really helpful. I’ve also heard having your tubes looked at can lead to pregnancy soon after as you get a good clear out.

I’m so sorry but I’ve not heard of a faint line on an Frer progressing at this point if you’re sure about your ovulation day. They measure such small amounts of hcg. In my experience both times it wasn’t good news. It’s awful because you just want it to be ok. Also it’s torturous you’re getting some symptoms. I really hope next cycle is the one. Xx

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum it really is. I get the odd shorter one but mainly this is how it is. I will see what happens with this cycle and speak to my Gp if need be. Xx

@October1979 hold tight, I know it’s really tough. I think your right to be cautious, but don’t panic yet. There are a lot of variables esp wee concentration and the tests are not designed to be qualitative. Bleeding really is the only sign you can trust. This bit is hard because it’s just a waiting game. It’s stressful I know and hard not to think of anything else. I know you know this but it needs to be said, Chemical pregnancies are a normal part of getting pregnant, a midwife told me that every time you TTC it’s a roll of the dice. I know how difficult it is. Fingers crossed For you.

How are you doing @October1979? Did AF show up? Hope you are doing ok. ❤️