Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

@Catconfusion I'm good thanks, not tested here yet still being restrained lol I had blood taken Tuesday for day 21 tests so hoping to get those results today. 🤞🏻 what dpo are you now?

@October1979 I’m so pleased you’re speaking to someone tonight. You sound really positive which is great. Let us know how you get on. It sounds likely all ok.

I’m doing alright thanks, just very hormonal at the moment and a bit baffled as I felt sure I’d get a bfp today due to how I’m feeling. I will probably wait and rest if AF doesn’t come. Xx

Hey @Littlemiss40andfabulous completely get you having a break. It can be a great source of support but also can be a constant reminder you’re ttc. There’s a lot of value in not thinking too much about it. Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum fingers crossed all ok with results and if not it gets the ball rolling for some support.

I’m 11 dpo today so I know still early. I got a bfp at 10dpo with ds so I guess I was just expected today would be the day. I’m just going to wait it out now and hope for the best. Xx

@October1979, don't give up hope. I know it's so tough and you become this crazed person who is constantly thinking about it (well, I was!) and when AF came every month, I'd be so disappointed... but keep trying. We had 2 rounds of IVF, both a complete failure and were planning on moving clinics after that, took a few months off from IVF and I got BFP the next month naturally. I was 40 years old at the time (now trying for my second but am a bit older than you so appreciate it's much less likely.... currently waiting for my AF to come too....).

It's so hard to say this but the more you think about it, the more your body stresses about it. When I got pregnant naturally, I'd stopped IVF and the hormone treatments and was out getting pissed with my OH every weekend that month! I think it was because I was relaxed and didn't focus on it so much. I know it's easier said than done but I think that's what helped.

It's such a personal thing, isn't it, but please stay positive and know that you're supported by us +40-ers also trying! Fingers and toes crossed for you and anyone else trying! xxx

Hi everyone, just been reading your stories & was wondering if anyone could advise on supplements? Are there any particular brands that are better than others?

Hey @CrispyMonster, thanks for the positive story. So lovely you conceived your dc when you least expected it. I was also 40 when I fell pregnant with my ds. The cycle we conceived I had loads planned. We had a festival, our joint 40th birthday party and a short break away at the coast for a few days. I was so busy I could put ttc out of my mind.

We’ve just started ttc our second dc. This is actually the first cycle I’ve properly tried. Last cycle I fell pregnant randomly but had an early mc. I’m now 41 and 42 in June.

I completely agree it’s best to keep your mind off it. The lockdown however makes it so hard. I have to say I’ve got quite down this cycle. I’ve tried to stay positive but the bad weather and fall out from our loss hasn’t helped.

Hopefully the better weather and easing of restrictions will help us all. Xx

Hey @sharalanda I think it depends how your cycles are. I take inositol as I have irregular periods. It’s not really helped in my case if I’m honest. I had my ds last year so just kept taking pregnacare after he was born so I could get a good range of vitamins and omega 3/dha. Vitamin d is a good one to supplement, especially this time of year. They say ubiquinol is good for egg quality but it looks expensive. Xx

Hi @sharalanda I'm not sure if the brands I take are the best or not but I get them from Amazon, and I'm on a cocktail of supplements! Whether they're doing any good or not I have no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I take them anyway just incase 😂

5mg folic acid (prescribed)
Iron (prescribed)
Vitamin D (high dose prescribed but not on high strength over the counter)
Vitamin C
Vitamin B complex
Omega 3,6,9
Ubiquinol 300g x2

All washed down with grapefruit juice up until ovulation then pomegranate juice for the rest of the cycle 😅

*Vitamin D (high dose prescribed but NOW on high strength over the counter)

Hi ladies! Hope you're all doing well? Just wanted to get some opinions on when I ovulated. I'm using the Ava bracelet and it said I ovulated yesterday, however I only got the static smiley face yesterday (flashing smiley 2 previous days) but if the Lh showed peak yesterday, wouldn't I be ovulating today or tomorrow? I've attached the graph if it helps.

Hey @sabtom it’s my understanding that in some cases you can ovulate quite quickly after the surge. I use the cheapy opks because I can see them turn high before the peak so I can dtd in good time. Hopefully you still caught it. Xx

So it’s bad news from me. BFN this morning and lots of AF cramping. I’ve been feeling so hormonal since I ovulated. I wanted to think this was because I was pregnant but I feel like the mc last cycle has messed me up. I wake up crying and tearful every morning. The lockdown isn’t helping but hopefully the weather will improve and it will pass. Xx

It’s really interesting to look at what supplements people are taking. I’m thinking of changing to something that might help regulate my cycles and balance my hormones a bit. Has anyone tried Bud fertility supplement? Or Maca root? Xx

@Catconfusion sorry you got a bfn they're so disappointing aren't they! I got my blood tests back which have just confused me more lol

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum I’m just baffled as I was getting so many symptoms. I’m really not feeling great at all.

How have the blood tests confused you? Is everything ok? Xx

@Catconfusion symptoms are such a nightmare sorry you're not feeling great.

My progesterone is way higher than it should be and so is oestrogen and I don't know what that means and my fsh and Lh are showing a ration 2:1 which could indicate pcos

I hope things went okay last night, @October1979

Hi everyone, It went fine the consultant was lovely- husband good SA scores and I am right in the middle range of normal for 41. The hard thing was even with the good test scores he said we had about a 1% chance per month natural. Apparently older eggs can't repair DNA fragmentation in sperm where younger eggs can. They also can be damaged themselves resulting in miscarriage. Also only 10% chance with IVF and over 40% with egg donation. My head is spinning. Still digesting it all

Sorry about your bfn @Catconfusion they're so disheartening. It took a few months for my cycles to feel "normal" again after my MC, I have have my fingers crossed it will happen for you soon

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum how confusing! Does that mean you ovulated then if progesterone high? Do they have any explanation for high levels. Hopefully if they’re thinking pcos you can get some support. Xx

@October1979 I’m sorry but I find those stats confusing if your test results are ok. Was this a private clinic? Why do so many people conceive naturally in their forties if the odds are that poor. It makes no sense. I don’t know anyone who’s not conceived with time in their forties. How do you feel about the results? I hope you’re ok! Xx

@Catconfusion yes that means I ovulated this month but it's quite obvious that I have this month as I've had all the signs I don't normally get! The doc I spoke to didn't say anything about it and said everything was fine no more tests and was generally unhelpful so I've booked an appointment with a different doc on Monday to discuss the results

@sabtom thank you so much. It’s not nice at all but we’re staying positive. Hopefully my next cycle will be calmer and we’ll get some luck! Xx

A note on statistics:

Right, this 1% bullshit gets bandied around a lot, and I’m going to link you an article to read.

A few things to note:

1- the statistics are old. Some are REALLY EFFING OLD.

2- they are AVERAGES. That means they include people with fertility-inhibiting issues, health issues and those not even trying to conceive.

3- there is actually NO scientifically researched data regarding women over 40. There are teeny studies, and most of those suggest fertility is improving.

4- lots of studies are done by IVF clinics trying to scare you into IVF. And ivf research does suggest that implantation from ivf is harder in your early 40s.

Read this and keep on TTC-ing! XXX

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24128176