Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

Wow @Sobloodyexhausted what an amazing journey and your surprise baby shows anything is possible. Thank you for sharing! Xx

@Sobloodyexhausted, thank you for your faith renewing story! It really does prove that there’s hope. I still curse myself for not having started earlier or at least paid attention when my friends were regaling their stories. It just cut too close to the bone at the time.
Onward and upward they say... I literally have everything crossed!

Hi @Littlemiss40andfabulous, @October1979 I send all my best wishes from Italy. My pregnancy ended as a chemical pregnancy. We still try but given my age and we find out we are both infected with Ureaplasma chances are less than 0. Ureaplasma is very hard to cure and causes misscarriage, people here who had misscarriages I suggest go get tested for it many studies shows that its a big risk factor... all the best to everyone and take care all

@Sobloodyexhausted that's a wonderfully encouraging post to read - thanks for sharing.

@littleangle46 sorry you had a CP too. I hadn't heard of this issue so thanks for sharing. I've had a quick read up on it.

So I'm 12dpo and nothing on the cheapie sticks so far... AF due Weds or Thurs so am trying to relax and just wait and see what happens...

@Littlemiss40andfabulous snap! I'm either 12/13/14 dpo today but BFN on an internet cheapie this morning. AF due either tomorrow or Thursday. I don't usually do a test until AF is late but I threw up for no reason a couple of mornings ago, and I've had small waves of nausea the past couple of days. Although it's far too early to morning sickness, and if it was that means HCG would be in my system and would've shown up on the test this morning, so I dunno what to think 🤷🏻‍♀️Maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me but I'm gunna try again tomorrow if AF doesn't show up.

Thank you for sharing @littleangle46 I'm sorry you have this challenge and have suffered cp too. I will definitely read up on this

How did you get on with your test @sabtom ?

@October1979 Another BFN yesterday but started feeling crampy earlier and getting more intense now so AF is expected tonight/tomorrow morning. Plus my temp went down this morning too. But it's the longest cycle I've had in a while, 28 days and 14/15 day LP. Usually for me it's 24-26 CD and 11/12 day LP so don't know what happened this month 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sorry to hear that @sabtom and @Littlemiss40andfabulous Hoping for a late surprise for you both.

I’m day 31 and I still haven’t ovulated 🤷🏻‍♀️. It’s exhausting after three peaks and nothing. My temp went up today so I’m hoping maybe the peak I had on Monday came to something. I might have to stop using opks as they give me such misleading results, I get my hopes up and then don’t ovulate. Anyway I may be heading into the two week wait so I’ll keep you posted. Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion - AF starting this morning, pretty much on time. Another BFN last night so time for wine and chocolate to mark the beginning of trying again next month...

I hope you are about to go in the 2 week wait.

I'm sorry @Littlemiss40andfabulous @sabtom it's so hard getting your hopes up every month. Sounds tough@Catconfusion . I think I had similar to you this month. Positive opk then Ava pushed back ovulation 5 days. Think my body geared up to O and then maybe again. So feeling confused. Just hoping I covered all the bases. In 2ww but no idea if I'm 9dpo or 5dpo x

Well AF showed up this morning as expected so looks like we're cycle buddies @Littlemiss40andfabulous  hopefully ovulation happens for you soon @Catconfusion 🤞🏻 and good luck for your 2WW @October1979

It'll be my first full cycle on Ava and I'm gunna just stick with that this month, putting away the Femometer and FF and turning off the alarm to temp every morning. Gunna try and take a less 'data-driven' approach to TTC this month and relax a bit. Still sticking to the opks and cocktail of vitamins and supplements though 😂

Baby dust to everyone here xx

Oh no @Littlemiss40andfabulous I’m sorry to hear that. Wine and chocolate is definitely needed. Hopefully better luck next cycle. Xx

@October1979 I'm sorry to hear your cycle was off this time. It can happen to anyone once in a while. My surge from Monday didn’t come to anything. I’m now getting another surge today so I’m really hoping 4th time lucky.

Annoyingly my cycles have always been like this. The good news is it shouldn’t affect fertility. I’m day 32 now and no temp rise. My ds was conceived on day 33 so I’m hoping I’m not out and I’ll get confirmation tomorrow.

I probably need something like Ava. I know it’s not licensed for longer cycles but would use more for monitoring than predictions. I’m not sleeping well at all knowing I need to take my temperature. Also I’m up in the night sometimes with ds so it’s hard to get accurate results.

Fingers crossed for us both! Xx

@sabtom I completely hear you and am feeling similarly. It’s the first time I’ve used opks and getting lots of false peaks has been confusing. Also the temping is a pain. Just Ava sounds like a good idea.

Really sorry you got AF and hope next time is better! Xx

My af turned up this morning so on to another month for me

Sorry to hear that @October1979

Hi all hoping it's ok to join the thread? I've read your stories so far, sorry for the losses it's so hard isn't it!

About me - I'm 41, (for another 25 days) I have two teenagers and my dp has two as well but we have none together. We have been together 5 years and fell pg accidentally in April 2017 which ended in mc at 6.5 weeks we decided to wait a while and I came off contraception in April 2018 but we were just trying casually apart from tracking my cycle, had two cp but nothing else until dec 2020 got a bfp which again ended in mc in January so now we have gone all in - ive been temping for about 5 months opk for two for day 21 tests booked for next week and booking a private scan to check ovaries womb etc next month I'm on pregnacare conception, ubiquinol, vit c, d, e, b6, b complex, epo, pomegranate juice, pineapple, healthy eating, exercise, high protein, keeping warm feet, no alcohol etc! Dp is on pregnacare conception, vit c, d, e, magnesium pomegranate juice, giving up smoking, exercising and eating healthier. I'm hoping to get an sa done for him too and may look at a hycosy for me also. I'm just finishing my fw got my peak on Sunday so firmly into the tww. Hope you're all doing well?

I’m so sorry @October1979 💐 It must be especially tough after last cycle.

Welcome @Marvellouslymadmum it sounds like you’re doing everything you can now. Fingers crossed it happens soon for you.

As for me, I’ve finally ovulated on day 34 of my cycle. It’s been an absolute marathon and it was my 4th peak that lead to O. I think we timed it well. Now for the 2ww! Xx

@Catconfusion it sounds like your cycles are a bit like mine - anywhere from 23-35 days with the odd longer one thrown in for good measure and my Lh goes up abs down and up and down and I have trouble pinpointing! Apparently it can be a sign of pco or pcos so I'm getting tests to try and find out, have you been tested?

@Marvellouslymadmum yes I’ve been tested several times as always been like this. My cycles are 35-50 days. My hormone levels have always been normal so the doctor wouldn’t diagnose pco/pcos. They don’t really know why it happens. I had cysts on my ovaries when I was younger but they’ve now cleared up. I had my ds last year and hoped having a baby would sort it out. I had two shorter cycles when I stopped breastfeeding so I had hope. I did have an early mc last month so that might be why this one is so bad. If it’s any consolation I conceived ds on day 33 so it can happen with longer cycles. I would say if your cycles are generally 35 days or less it might not be pco but good it’s being looked at. It’s so frustrating not knowing when to try. I’m honestly shattered from three weeks of dtd every other day with a 10 month old baby. I’m just hoping it happens quickly. Xx

@Catconfusion it's such a nightmare isn't it and the doctors just don't seem to think it's any kind of priority to find out what's going on or why! I'm currently just starting the tww now, I think as I actually seemed to get a peak on opk but my bbt doesn't correlate and no ewcm so who knows!

@Marvellouslymadmum it is a nightmare and it worries me it’s caused my three miscarriages. I’ve got pregnant quite easily but keeping them has been the issue. It seems when I ovulate I conceive as the only four cycles we’ve not used protection I’ve got pregnant. Three of those I wasn’t trying or tracking anything.

My advice would be to keep doing the opks in case you get another peak if you haven’t had a temperature rise yet. I was certain the 3rd peak was the one and then my temperature dropped 🤷🏻‍♀️. Luckily it happened on the 4th attempt. It’s so bad for mental health ttc with cycles like these. You just feel like your body’s failing. You get your hopes up and they’re dashed. Plus it’s exhausting.

Have you always had long cycles? Was it tricky conceiving your teenagers? Fingers crossed for us both! Xx

@Catconfusion that's what I get worried about that I'm just missing the fw that or we have mf issues as well as my issues! My teenagers were no trouble at all (about the only time 😂) came off the depo injection and fell within 3 months with my son and had the implant removed then fell a month later with my daughter but I was 24/26 then so a fair while ago! Sounds like you definitely have a good shot of getting pregnant, have you spoken to the docs about the miscarriages? I know you can be referred for recurrent mc which is what I'm hoping for once the docs done her other tests

@Marvellouslymadmum I have to say with irregular cycles the temperature measurement is key. I didn’t think I was ovulating so I started measuring temps three months before my wedding. I used Ovusense which id thoroughly recommend. It takes the stress out of having to wake up to take accurate measurements. I was surprised to see I did ovulate but it was different every cycle. My only successful pregnancy was conceived at 34 days in and the mcs were between 20 and 30 days. Maybe I just need longer for my ovary to select the right follicle 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m trying not to get my hopes up since this cycle I ovulated on day 34.

Have you tried any of the apps? The Premom one is good if you’re doing temps and opks. Also the Fermometer app. This one tells you to keep testing LH until the temps are up high enough. One thing I did notice is my opk was much much darker with the surge I actually ovulated. It’s the first month I’ve used them all the way through as usually I get frustrated and stop using them.

It’s totally possible you’re missing it. Also good to get your partner checked out if just to ease your mind. This is the link to Ovusense if you’re interested. It confirms when you’ve ovulated so at least you know you’re definitely in the 2ww.

www.ovusense.com/uk/

I’m gutted I can’t afford it this time.

I’m so sorry it’s been so tough for you. It must be so hard when you had two easy conceptions with your other children.

I have spoken to the doctor. He’s said since two of them were very early and this is very common not to worry. The first one was a mmc and I got to 12 weeks so that was horrible. Needed surgery as well. He’s said if I have another he’ll look to refer me. I’ve only just started trying after my son so very early days. Hopefully just better luck next time. I’ll see my GP if we get to the summer and it hasn’t happened. Xx