Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

I did my first temp this morning. Still in the pre O phase although my LH test last night came back as high and I still have EWCM. I hate having irregular long cycles as I know all this could come to nothing and O could be weeks away. Hopefully not! I have the Femometer app from last time I ttc so have started using it. Does anyone else have irregular cycles?

@Yumcoffee goof luck with your 2ww. Hoping the vest and fluffy slippers work! xx

@Littlemiss40andfabulous great news! My only advice is to keep busy and try not to stress or worry. Also try not to symptom spot too much if you can.

Hoping for some more bfps on here soon. xx

I think I'm in the 2ww now? I have 3 apps on the go now and I used opk's 😂 I've attached the charts from the 3, maybe someone can tell me which one is right? (One temp I discarded as it was the day after my COVID jab and was a slight side affect to it).

@Littlemiss40andfabulous I went back to studying so I have lots of assignments to do to take my mind off the wait lol 🤞🏻 fingers crossed for us all

@sabtom yes definitely looks like it. I’d maybe keep an eye on your temps to make sure they stay up. Looks like really good timing to me. Best of luck! Xx

Hi everyone I've missed so much. You've all been dead busy. Well done with the tempting @sabtom @Catconfusion . Sorry I have been quiet last week or so. I'm in the middle of fertile week ewcm today and did extra ovulation test when I got home and static smilie. Dtd Sunday, today and plan to the next 2 days. It's cd 14 for me. Off to the acupuncturist tonight so think I'll o tomorrow- fingers crossed for everyone this month xxx

Good luck everyone! How does your chart look now @sabtom ? My temp has been going up but then suddenly went down today and so so did my mood! Was definitely feeling pregnant (as I am every month 😂) before that! Just need to get through the next 4 days before testing!
@Littlemiss40andfabulous for me i dont think it is possible to distract - if i try not to think about it i cant think about anything else. You can try doing little tasks that you think might improve fertility (I bought some sunflower seeds 🤦‍♀️ and been doing 30 days of yoga on YouTube?!) and also think about all the fun things you will do if you get a bfn. x

Good to hear from you @October1979 it sounds like it’s all going well. I really hope this cycle is the one! Xx

@Yumcoffee sorry to hear your temp went down but you could still get your bfp. This happened to my friend and then it shot up again. Good luck! Xx

As for me, I’m still in limbo. My peak was Sunday so my app confirmed O on Monday. I had a big rise yesterday and then a slight dip today. Hoping for a big rise tomorrow. My app is now saying I might not have ovulated. I’ve had failed o before and it’s so disheartening, saying that the cycle I conceived my ds was a week after a failed O on day 33. I’ve just got everything crossed it’s happened because it’s stressful with irregular cycles. Xx

Morning ladies! @Yumcoffee I'm still charting with 3 apps 😂 Ava and Femometer seem to have me as ovulated in the 11, 2 days after peak opk, and FF says I ovulated on the 9th, on the day of the peak, so maybe I'll go down the middle and say I ovulated on the 10th 🤷🏻‍♀️ still too early for symptom spotting yet although I was never good at it. With my last (and only) pregnancy I had no symptoms whatsoever which was probably a sign that it wasn't going to end well 😔 I hope you're all doing well and here's to some BFPs soon

Great chart @sabtom gives me hope as I had a rise and a fallback this morning like yours. I’d say you ovulated on the 9th as the temp rise is caused by the progesterone after O. Looking good though. Fingers crossed for you! Xx

@Catconfusion I thought ovulation happened 24/48 after solid smiley OPK? Is it possible to ovulate the same day of a peak then?

I've heard that as you get older then the time between peak and ovulation can shorten. I have no idea if that's true.

@sabtom I don’t know much about opks tbh as I’ve only just started using them but with temping the ovulation day is the day before the rise. It’s the release of the egg that produces the progesterone that makes your temperature rise. Xx

@bitheby I’ve not heard this before but it’s interesting. Xx

@bitheby hmm yes interesting, never heard that either.

Anyway, for some reason I don't feel optimistic this month, I don't know why? So much so, I had some soft cheese on a cracker yesterday 😳 and usually I avoid all that stuff in the 2WW, I just really fancied soft gooey French cheese on a cracker 😆 Also, it's a friends 40th today, and we're having a little Zoom get together, I'm also contemplating have having a little 🥂, am I being naughty? I'm just getting really tired of living my life around 'what if this is the month' 😤

@sabtom I’m sure it’s fine to have one or two. I know exactly what you mean. I’d normally avoid sugar around ovulation to see it it helps with my irregular cycles. I’ve had a bag of mini eggs and two chocolate spread pancakes since Saturday. I’m also on my first proper cycle of ttc and already unmotivated. Guess the miscarriage last cycle has affected my mindset too. It’s really hard to avoid the things that make us happy with no guarantees. I also had a coffee this morning which is something else I try and avoid. The cold weather and lockdown make it tougher I think. Xx

Hi everyone! I’ve been liking here for a while. I’m 43 no kids and finally I’ve found the courage to try to have a baby. I had a very bad experience when I was 36, the scars ran deep for a very long time. It wasn’t just the MC that affected me it was the way in which I was dealt with and the way my long term partner at the time handled it. I have been single since. Anyway, that’s another story!
I decided a couple of years ago that I really wanted to have a baby, I cursed myself for possibly leaving it too late. I was 41, single with no man on the horizon. I started dating, it was important to me that they wanted a child, that severely limits the number of fish in the pool so to speak.
So I’ve now found a fantastic guy, he has an 18 and 13 year old. He wants to have more kids, he’s a gentle soul and a rock for me. I’m in the military so opportunities are few and far between so I now have my age and the lack of regular sex to combat. So ladies if there is any advice I will lap it up! I’ve researched and researched but I don’t think there’s anything quite like hearing from the horses mouth. I know the odds are stacked against me. We did have what we thought may have been a happy accident a couple of months ago, I was three weeks late, didn’t think to test as we weren’t really trying I was away with work, I’d not noticed that the time had whizzed by until I went home but I started the next day and it was incredibly heavy and painful. I do have incredibly regular periods, like clockwork in fact. Does this help, in the sense I’d O on the same day every time? I’ve started to take folate, is there anything else you can advise? What’s the best way of tracking it? Is there something you’d like to have know at the start of your journey?
I’m super new to this so really would appreciate any suggestions or guidance!
I really wish you all the luck in your journeys and hope they prove fruitful!

Why do you say that @bigtittymilkymummy?

Don't worry. Have reported. They won't take it down until the morning.

Hi @Carameldragon I’m so sorry for you loss and difficult time previously. Great news you’ve met such a lovely man and are ready for a baby. I met my husband at 39 and we’re now 41 with a baby boy. Now trying for number 2. It can all happen very quickly!

My advice is take a good quality prenatal as soon as you can containing 400mg of folate/folic acid every day. Next figure out when you ovulate. The best way to reliably do this is with opks and taking your temperature. Some of the ladies on this thread use the Ava bracelet. It takes your temperature while you sleep. You will get a big temperature rise the day after ovulation. The opks are urine tests that give you a positive a day or two before you ovulate. So opks give you the heads up to have sex and the spike in temperature confirms you did ovulate. It’s then a case of waiting to test if you miss a period.

Try not to worry about the odds. Some women are still quite fertile in their early 40s. You might fall pregnant easily. The media likes to portray late motherhood in a bad light but it’s natural and normal to have a baby over 40.

I wish you the best of luck and we’re all here to support you! Xx

@Carameldragon I agree with everything that @Catconfusion said. I am 42 at ttc #1 too, for me I decided to go private for a few tests that would prevent me trying/MC-ing endlessly if there was a problem. I’m just a bit ocd so I like the data early, especially at this age.

I have thyroid tested, vitamin D and AMH. I also had a scan to confirm not structural internal issues and to do a follicle count. My OH is 49 (also with two kids) so he had a motility test too. These are all tests that a GP will refer you for after you’ve been trying a while, but over 40 it feels like it takes so long and those months are precious so I forked out the cash (was about £450 total) and it was useful for peace of mind as all was normal. But had there been an issue almost all of those things were highly treatable.

Have you red the book “It starts with an egg”? Invaluable reading for anyone ttc. Xxx

Hi@Carameldragon I agree with@Geriatric1234 and @Catconfusion . I track using opks in the morning and evening when I suspect O might be coming just to make sure I don't miss my window. I also use an Ava watch at night to track my temp. Two months I've been using it and both months it's predicted my fertile week and ovulation day well. The data matched my opks. I also had my hormones checked at the doctors and AMH (egg reserve) and Folicle count and scan of my womb and husbands seaman analysis done privately. I also paid about £450 but good for piece of mind. Good luck

Thanks all, I’m bit of a data junkie and I have researched to the point of confusion. It’s really nice to just hear from those that are in it to break it down to basics. Ive decided to get OPKs and temp monitors. Should be arriving this week. I’d already started with the prenatal vits, so that’s covered. As I work away and don’t often see my partner as much as I’d like -especially now. I can now plan the best times to make the monthly visits that I make, where we do tend to make up for lost time anyway, at least now I’ll be able to focus our ‘attempts’ to the right window.
I’ve also downloaded the ‘starts with the egg’ on to my kindle.
Thank you all so very much! You really will have made a difference as I’ve realised my home visits are probably not happening at the right time.
Also please forgive if I don’t use the acronyms, my head is just full of them due to work. Not sure I can squeeze any more in!
Crossed fingers for all of us!

Aww no problem @Carameldragon it’s a lot to take on board at first. I think being older puts the pressure on to get it right early on so it’s always good to glean advice from other people going through it. Remember it only takes once so if it’s well timed your chances are good. I wish you the best of luck! Xx

I’m so sorry about your loss I hope you get pregnant again very soon.

I hope I can give you hope, I have three children. I conceived my first at 36 after multiple miscarriages and three years of trying. My second was conceived relatively easily three-ish years later then I had a (wonderful) surprise baby this year at 48!

Each time we’ve conceived my husband has coincidentally been taking a supplement called Mountain Blood Shilajit which is known to improve sperm quality amongst other health benefits so I really recommend that.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B072YY51PW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VIQsFb5VMKGCC?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

@Sobloodyexhausted Oh wow! Lovely to hear that and 48 is SO inspiring!! I’m ordering that supplement right NOW! Clearly a lucky charm of nothing else! Thank you for sharing xxx