Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

That's right @Catconfusion 35 days seems to be the limit. Hopefully your cycles will settle. Although I'm not too sure what all the data means yet. I have a dip for ovulation then a rise which is meant to happen but I had a very slight dip today which I didn't think was meant to happen. I've never been a temper so not really sure what this means. I thought it was meant to be a continuous rise? Any insight anyone?

@Catconfusion are your cycles usually long?

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TTC after miscarriage - January 2020964
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22/01/2020 18:06MilsCookie

@toomanyleggings it’s hard to make sense of your results. I think it’s saying that you haven’t had a molar pregnancy, which is a good thing. But I don’t think it gives you any answers or explanations unfortunately. My results didn’t either 😞. But maybe you could call the doctor and ask them to explain it to you?
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22/01/2020 18:37toomanyleggings

I called today @MilsCookie and they said that doesn't show anything 'abnormal'. They ordered genetic testing but it hadn't come back yet and they said it might be inconclusive anyway. Have to accept that I may not get an answer.
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22/01/2020 18:52MilsCookie

@toomanyleggings I suppose the fact there was nothing 'abnormal' might give you some comfort in a way. Mine was the same and they said I shouldn't have problems getting pregnant again. I'm just worried that it's not the getting pregnant I can't do, it's the carrying a baby to full term! It's such a anxious time and I wish they could have given more answers. I hope you get more information than I did 😘
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22/01/2020 19:38toomanyleggings

@MilsCookie I'm convinced I have this APS because my only successful pregnancy was on aspirin but they can't test for it for 6 weeks and then they have to do another test 8 weeks late which I know doesn't sound long but I really just want to be pregnant again and I'm 36 this year
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22/01/2020 19:53ChampooPapi

@toomanyleggings Im sorry I've only just got back to you with this, but I didn't hear anything for nearly 3 months after my surgical management of my miscarriage. So basically I went to the doctors to ask what the hell happened with it all in the end? Eg, did I have a molar pregnancy, should I be tested/scanned for ashermansn ect,.

Basically they had my results which looked word for word exactly the same as yours. Only difference was I think they had a measured amount of fetal tissue or whatever they refer to it as.

They said everything was 'textbook' completely normal and no further tests were needed.

I think on the NHS unless you put up a very big stink they are not going to do anything about it from those results. If your worry is just too much you absolutely should be getting blood tests to check your ovulating and a re assurence scan, but they are not going to do this unless you start a kind of campaign of upset by going in as much as you can, phoning up ect.

Different areas, different protocol, different doctors , all that comes into it too. But sounds like your one of the unlucky people like myself who they absolutely won't do anything unless we badger them basically. .

I was actually told by the doctor who I saw that she would get into trouble if she ordered any tests or refered me for a scan because of resources/funding.

I know it's really stressful, it's easier for me as I have carried two babies to term , but for yourself I really think you should get on that phone again tomorrow and book another appointment. My mum was a nurse for the NHS and said you just have to lay it on thick especially about your mental health, other wise I just don't think they will refer you for anything.

All the best to you, it is just so much to carry around with you, like a weight on your back. Virtual ginormous hug to you and good luck, hopefully your local surgery is better then mine and it won't be as hard as I think!
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22/01/2020 20:46toomanyleggings

@ChampooPapi they have agreed to run blood test for APS but she said to wait until after that for referral. I should have asked to get the ball rolling with hindsight. I also have had one normal pregnancy but I self medicated with aspirin throughout. I'm starting to think that's the only reason my lovely dd survived. Makes me go cold thinking that.
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22/01/2020 21:00StephyRose

@toomanyleggings

I'm sorry to hear of all the stress the results have induced. flowers Haven't heard anything back from our MC yet.

Can I ask, when did you start taking Aspirin when you were pregnant with your DD? I might try that next time.
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22/01/2020 21:32toomanyleggings

@StephyRose I took it from ovulation with my dd. My doctor said it couldn't do any harm. Only 75mg but I'm so scared that I have APS because if you have that you need more than aspirin.
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22/01/2020 23:34BS9790

Think I'm out... Just started with cramps. Gone to toilet and bleeding has started a little sad
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22/01/2020 23:40AlviesMam

@BS9790 I started this morning...it's sooooo shit. Let's get through this and start February off with some positive vibes xxxxxxx
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23/01/2020 06:53toomanyleggings

@AlviesMam @BS9790 try to think positively. If you've started it means you probably haven't got hyper fertility which is a problem where non viable embryos implant. Hopefully your bodies have good screening systems and you're going to get a lovely healthy one soon xxx
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23/01/2020 19:42Anny27

Hope you are doing okay @AlviesMam

@Cruiser1 did your AF arrive or did you get any more positives?

@StephyRose I have been thinking of you lovely xxx

To everyone else - as this thread was getting full we made a new thread - ttc after miscarriage- testing end of jan xx
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23/01/2020 19:43Anny27

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3802221-ttc-after-miscarriage-end-of-january-2020-testing
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Today 19:44Shadow79

We became pregnant end of September, both of us were over the moon. Couldn't believe it had happened as the one time I wasn't really trying as we were on holiday. I had the most easiest of pregnancy, everything was going great.. Looking forward to our 16 week scan and planning a surprise private scan so my partner could be involved.
Then a few days before I lost my baby I had the most severe constipation which kept me up all night. Called out of hours Dr's who said to increase the lactulose and eat more fruit and you will be fine.. Forward a few days, 29th December. I woke up and ran to the loo and felt immediate relief.. Then went back to bed and actually slept for several hours. Woke up went to the bathroom and my waters broke. Rushed to hospital and sent to resus as my heart rate was 143. After stabilising I was sent for a scan. Poor baby had passed and was already in my birth canal. I gave birth to baby on the evening and awaited erpc. I went for erpc early hour's and bloods taken. Next morning I was told my infection markers were through the roof and my liver function was high too.
Dr's guessed at the time I had a viral infection. They said I wasn't that far along to have preaclampsia. Baby was sent for a post mortem and the results of both of our findings will be addressed in 13 weeks time. We also paid for a private NIPT test cos of my age, this came back all OK.
I really do believe I caught a virus and lost my healthy baby.
After 3 days in hospital I was sent home, I developed heavy bleeding and clotting a few days later and ended back in hospital on the 6th January 2021 for another erpc.. This has been so traumatic and I can't stop thinking about the baby that could have been and how quickly our future has changed.
When I was scanned to check viability of baby the consultant noticed I had a 12 cm fibroid in the unterine wall, I believe its at the top of the uterine wall or possibly top right side. I'm now waiting for another scan.. Nagging Dr's as I need to know this has degenerated. I personally don't believe this caused any issues as my bloods were off.
And I feel totally the same as you.. I really want to start trying again as I turned 41 in October ( thinking this baby was the best present I could ever have).
I don't have time on my side, but I also don't want to be waiting months and months for a scan.
I do know that in 13 weeks time we have a meeting with our consultant regarding this unbelievable nightmare.. They will discuss findings but I have also been told that they will also discuss a care plan for any future pregnancies. I'm not to worried about becoming pregnant as I know it will rush the doctors in to giving me the care and sort out a care plan for me and future babies.
I hope we all have a happy ending and one day we all have our rainbow baby. X

Sorry guys, I wrote my message in the wrong group and then thought I'd be clever and copy my text in to the right group. Looks like a copied the whole page..
Doh
Sorry x

Hi @October1979 and @Catconfusion thanks for asking. It's just passing tbh as I don't really believe we'll get pregnant tho month. Think I'm just going to wait and see if AF arrives as norm yin a few days time. My regular abdo cramps over the last few days suggest it probably will.

Since keeping a close eye on my cycle in 2020 I've noticed I get lower abdo pains for 1-2 hours for 2-3 days in a row, starting a week before AF arrives. All the websites say this is too early to be menstrual pains but after quite a months getting excited that they might be implantation pains, they definitely are menstrual!

@October1979 the Ava device sounds interesting. I've not heard of that before.

@Catconfusion sorry your cycle's are not how you want them to be right now.

Take care everyone xx

@October1979 it could be something called a fallback rise. It’s perfectly fine just where the oestrogen takes a bit longer to drop so it affects the progesterone related rise. You should get a rose tomorrow.

Yes my cycles have been a nightmare my whole life. DS was conceived on cd33. It makes ttc really difficult as it could be any day within a three week period. My mum and sister were the same but found their cycles regulated after children.

In other news I got a faint bfp this morning. I’m really not sure what to think. Explains why my cycle is now day 38 without AF coming. I feel quite shocked as I’d not been tracking anything. Trying not to get my hopes up! Xx

@Littlemiss40andfabulous cramps are a normal part of early pregnancy. I got quite severe ones with ds but it was just everything starting to change. It’s not over until it’s over! Xx

That's wonderful @Catconfusion congratulations! Delighted for you. Keep me posted on how things progress. Wishing you a safe and happy pregnancy. This gives us all hope xx

Aww thank you @October1979 we’re in shock. I just did another test and got a stronger line so feeling hopeful. The one this morning was a squinter. I was getting some strong cramps but those have eased now. I had two losses before ds so a little terrified but trying to stay positive and obviously really grateful for it! I figure I’m 10 days in so baby conceived on day 28 of my cycle!

Wishing everyone on here lots of baby dust. I really hope to see more bfps soon! Xx

It's fantastic- stay positive @Catconfusion sending positivity your way! Let's hope we can all join you soon. Did you have any symptoms before bfp?

Thanks @October1979 I really appreciate it. I’ve been really tired and a bit headachy. Also a bit sickly in the morning over the past few days. Still didn’t twig I might be pregnant. We’d not tracked anything so I didn’t really know where I was with my cycle. I had bad sickness with ds so I’m fully expecting to be ill. How long do you have before you can test? Xx

I think Af is due on 28th January @Catconfusion so a wee while yet. I think I'm 3dpo

All you can do is keep busy @October1979 and hopefully time will go quickly. I’ve got everything crossed for you! Xx

@Catconfusion just read your message. Wonderful news! Congratulations xxx

Thanks @Littlemiss40andfabulous I’m just going to take each day as it comes. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you too! Xx

Thank you @Catconfusion

I can't quite believe I'm writing this but my period was due yesterday. My DH and I were feeling a bit low so bought wine and chocolate to eat, so I tested, mainly to confirm I could have a glass of wine, and a faint line appeared!!!!!

I did a Digital Clear Blue test this morning which says 'pregnant!!'

I don't feel any different, other than having a bit of lower back ache which I put down to being on my feet all day.

I can't quite believe it - those cramps were obviously implantation pains after all. And after only having sex once this month too.

Congratulations @Littlemiss40andfabulous this is fabulous news! How exciting, wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy. That's 2 bfps in a few days! This gives us all hope. Let's hope they keep coming

Oh wow @Littlemiss40andfabulous that’s fantastic news. Congratulations to you. Will you keep testing for line progression or will you just wait for a scan to confirm all is well?

I’ve had some significant cramping today. I’ve annoying run out of tests so waiting for an Amazon delivery. I’m about 4 weeks today. I seem to remember with my ds freaking out at this point and demanding my DH go and buy some more tests. The ICs were getting darker so fingers crossed the cramping is just the little Pickle bedding down. (We’ve called it Pickle). I also remember with ds feeling like my period was going to start as well.

I’ve got my fingers crossed for us both @Littlemiss40andfabulous! Xx

So I did another test and got a darker line, thank goodness. I’d convinced myself something was wrong. Cramping has eased a bit now too 🙂 xx

I news...

I was cramping quite intensely yesterday. Thought it was maybe constipation so just rested and tried not to worry. Did another test this morning and now we only have a faint line. I’m pretty shocked after the test on Friday being a strong positive. We’re absolutely gutted!

However to put a positive spin on it... We literally dtd once and it was the first time we’ve not used protection since my ds was born last April. It was totally unexpected. I’m taking it as a good sign we can do this again. We’re just going to dust ourselves off and hope for the best for next time. Xx

@Catconfusion I'm sorry to read this. Hope you're both doing ok.

It's a delicate balancing act isn't it? Getting your hopes up and being so excited that the thing you've been trying for has happened, whilst at the same time being aware there are so many possibilities the pregnancy won't make it past 12 weeks. I tested again this morning and still only have a faint line, which I thought would have got darker, so will have to wait and see what that means...

Sending lots of love and hugs your way, and glad you can take some positives from this.

Oh no @Littlemiss40andfabulous how many days in are you? Hopefully just the hcg taking its time to rise. I just spoke to my GP friend and she said not to give up just yet as they often disregard pregnancy test results as they can be inaccurate. I’m not cramping today and still feel sick so I’m hoping maybe a dud test. Not had this with Frer before though. A friend of mine said she did and could only get strong lines in the afternoon. Like you say it’s a balancing act and so hard not to get your hopes up. If I hadn’t got a strong positive on Friday I probably wouldn’t have been convinced it was progressing. It’s just so confusing! Xx

@Catconfusion I'm 4 weeks +2 days so very early. That's good to know from your GP friend.

My first test was done on Friday evening, and others I've done in the morning as I thought it would be stronger then, but I'll try it again this evening now too.

Thinking of you on your current TWW @October1979

@Littlemiss40andfabulous that’s similar to where I think I am today, 4 plus 1. I really hope it works out for us both. Good luck with your test tonight. The other thing I thought was maybe FMU isn’t working for me. I’ve heard some people have higher hcg in the afternoon. I’ve done all the other tests late in the day. It was an Frer though so would have thought a stronger line by now. Xx

Yes @October1979 wishing you all the luck in the world! Xx