October 2007 ~All about us ~ MC'ing or MC'ed or TTC of BFP after MC or just loves cakes!

[katendmom]

As we agreed - starting a fresh thread before our original shuts down. Will post this new link into the old thread so everybody can find us!

In the meantime ~ sprinkling it with pink and blue baby pixie dust

and splashing with baby glue so lo's stick around forever ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Theres a part of me thats thinking, when i do get pg im not going to the docs for about 3 months to pass "that stage (10 weeks)" but then part of me is thinking as soon as i get that bfp im getting myself in for a scan!!!

I think its a bit of a catch 22

semi positive news (amazing what passes for that after a mc)
I seem to have stopped bleeding and I had a scan and I'm totally empty so no scrapping required
phew!
It was actually quite comical as it was my first internal with a man. and echoed some bedroom noises left a bit, down a bit, no! up up. I'd hate to be his wife. Also after reading that website I think I knew more than the doc at least I knew more than he was telling us.

Followed ronshar to wrong thread- here's what I said:

Ronshar- go to the doctor whenever but be prepared for an anticimax. Mine asked if I had done a test (laughed when I told him I'd done 12) congartulated me and told me to come back at ten weeks to get paperwork going. Because I ahd only had one mc there was no point in pushing me forward for scan....am still tempted to call epu anyway.

Know what you mean about going off cake- have gone off chocolate. It gives me heartburn. Where's the justice?????

Hello all,

I saw the consultant today and now feel worse than ever. He doesn't think my last mc was due to measles he blames the stitch and says that I probably didn't need it in the first place but because I had my mc whilst it was still in place my cervix could be damaged now. He hasn't put a suture in for a woman since 1996 as he thinks they are unnesscary. Every 6 months he sees about 3 or 4 women who like me were treated at different hospitals and were given stitches, he has recommened that they all have regular scan with an emergency stitch if needed and no one has needed one for over 10 years. He told me the decision to stitch or not is mine but like me is worried about the damage from the mc, he has offered regular scan from 12 to 34 weeks fortninghly at the begining then weekly then fortninghly again. I think I will go for the scans but he said either way there is a risk of mc. I really am scared of having another late loss and I know if it happens agian dp won't try again. I am going to see hime again in four weeks to give him my final decison and I will have a scan at the same time. I feel sick at the moment but that's to do with nerves.

sending you 'big hugs' as the Teletubbies would say G43.

GF3 there is a Russian saying ?the less you know, the better is your sleep.? Isn?t that true?! Here is the good thing ? you now know some additional details that might be contributing factors. However, let me put things into perspective for you. They said there is a chance of another mc (PG ladies, close your ears/ eyes) ? you know as I do ? there is always a chance of mc. Here is another story for you ? you know that I had to c-sections. One with the DD we lost (due to her very large size), second was with my DS ? a repeat one just because it was so soon after the first. Well, my surgeon told me ? during the c-section! ? that he couldn?t believe all the scaring I had from the first c-section (that previous surgeon was obviously a dope!) and he was surprised that my little bumble bee not only made it but even implanted! Well, let me tell you ? he surely did! The body works in a miraculous ways. So, do some reading, Google ing and weigh in your options. I?d say ? definitely go for scans. If anything ? it will give you LOTS and LOTS of reassurance~!

Ronshar - you too. You don?t get what you don?t ask for. I?d say absolutely ask for an early scan. What?s the worst that can happen ? they?ll say ?no.?

sybilvimes, I feel for you hun. Keep thinking about your baby and keep envisioning how everything will go dandy fine. As far as your friend ? it?s probably smart to wait a bit before telling her your news. However, I was in the same situation (with the exception that I was ?your friend?) and hearing such wonderful news from my friend that they were expecting actually did me nothing but good and gave me hope as well (she too had a mc earlier in the year).

aquababe you know what they say ? ?the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder? so what qualifies as ?good? news after a mc ? certainly only those of us who have gone through it will appreciate. So, here is to you - congratulations!

sybilvimes - thats not a nice situation to be in and one one of my friends went through recently with me, the day I emailed her to tell her about the mc that morning she had a BFP (her first) I haven't heard from her in a while so emailed her last night and she's already 10 weeks gone I thought something was up she didn't want to tell me as she thought it would upset me. Now this is my very honest opinion but I would rather she told me, her being pregnant isn't going to bring my baby back nothing can do that, I would and am very very pleased for her. Maybe the middle ground is to wait until after your 12 week scan when you get the all clear so to speak and tell her then that will put a good few weeks between it and you can say you were waiting until 12 weeks before announcing.

Ronshar - when I went for my all clear scan the EPAU told me that when I get pregnant again call them direct and come in for a scan at 7-8 weeks. I din't think you are mad at all 12 weeks is a long time. I am not even going to go to the doctors until I have had a scan at 8 weeks, I may even ask for another one at 10 weeks I will be so worried. Phone up the EPUA and ask they can only say no!

aquababe - in some ways getting the all clear is closure (on the physical side at least the emotional takes a bit longer), it's good when the bleeding stops you begin to feel normal again, are you planning on ttc again?

ILTS - we are spookily alike, I have been vegetarian for years I have never liked the taste of meat even as a child I would spit it out (and get thumped for it). I believe that as long as a animal is treated really well up to and including it's death then it's OK but not for me. I feed the DDs meat but will tell them where is comes from when they are old enough and let them decide.

kate - your DS truly is one in a million, I have a close friend who is about to start IVF and I am hoping beyond hope it works because if anyone deseves it she does. She has 2 DSs who were placental abruptions and difficult births, the DD died at 3 days old due to medical neglect (Drs cock up proven in court) they sterilised her during her c section as well but she had it reversed only worked in one tube, then she had an ovarian cyst in the other so her only hope is IVF and she can only afford one cycle.

I so so hope that everyone on here and my friend gets the baby they so want, never give up hope x

Yes i give mine meat to, i have no problems cooking it or handling it, i just dont eat it....what do you mean you where thumped for it

Goingfor3, i think we've crossed on the antenatal link for those pregnant after a mc. Sorry to hijack this thread but I am seeing a consultant in 3 weeks to discuss whether I need a stitch. I had some abnormal cells removed by cone diathermy which took out a 'chunk' of my cervix and left me with a 'deficient' cervix. Another consultant I saw (as cells are back but can wait) told me I may need a stitch or very close monitoring via scans. I am due to see a specialist regarding this and I suppose he will discuss options. Why did your consultant say the stitch might of caused your mc, surely it is there to prevent such a thing? Sorry if this is too personal. Anyway, I'll report back to you what my consultant suggests, compare notes. Good luck with your choice.

You're right, spooky, in more ways than one. He is my marvel . And you know what was weird... I really didn't feel right during my first pg... couldn't put my finger on it but just didn't. I remember making comments like: "I feel like I am just a temporary holder for this baby, etc"... and lost her. I was head over hills about my DS' pg. I was so happy and really relaxed, believe it or not. I just knew that everything would be great... Now with this last pg that I just lost - I was more like I was during the first time... even reluctant to give the baby a nickname, etc... I have seen other MNers make comments similar to this... I wonder if your mind knows something on the subconscious level... and not allowing you to get all excited? Nah... probably just a crazy me talking at the time. Must be all the meat sausages, huh?

katendmom your comments always make me feel better!

Janus - there can be complications with having a stitch put in mainly infection but also because they are 'fiddling' with your cervix that can also cause complications as can the cocktail of drugs you need to have it done. I have decided that I will definatley go for the scans rather than the stitch and I do really trust the consultanat I saw as friends of mine have seen him too and he specialises in high risk pregnancies, the other times I had the stitches put in dr's were convincing me not to due to the risks involved so I am going to trust this dr implicitly because any doubt will make me go insane. Your situation is different to mine as you know for certain there is a problem with your cervix. How many weeks pregnant are you? Though it's not good you are in a similar situation to me it does help to have someone to talk to going through the same thing, it's just so stressful.

Janus the dr didn't say how the stitch caused the mc he just said because it happened four days after I had t put it in it must have. The autopsy report showed I miscarried because the placenta came away from the uterus which in all honesty doesn't tell me anything.

Evening everyone, hugs for you Sybil re your friend I think the advice so far is good. I would want to know if one of my friends was pg, I would hate the thought of them holding it back from me.

Ronshar go ask, they can only say no. I know if I get a BFP I will be asking for an early scan (and going private if they say no).

I also knew that my MC pregnancy was all wrong. I even said to the midwife at booking that I felt I was haveing a phantom pregnancy because nothing felt right. She laughed and said it will be fine. Shame because she home birthed me with dd2 and I trusted her explicitly. Oh well.
G43 I hope all goes well for you. It is a really difficult decision to make.

I didn't get any morning sickness at all and would see comments made to others suffering saying 'well they say morning sickness means a stronger pregnancy' so I would sit there thinking 'so I've got none does that mean something wrong' everyday I kept wating for sickness but nothing so I guess I always had a feeling it wasn't right.

That's so funny kate, ronshar and Claire, with my last pregnancy I had a bad feeling too I was really worried something would go wrong totally unlike with the first two, I felt sick but didn't go off food like I usually do, I also remember saying that my boobs felt no different at all. My baby never got past 6 weeks so I wonder if the HCG was never right to cause all the usual symptoms, I am with you I believe your body "knows" in some way.

I agree with all of you. It was my 1st pregnancy so I didn't know what to expect and had nothing to compare it to, but I didn't really feel pg either. I told the midwife that at my booking in appt and she just laughed it off saying that as I hadn't had AF then I must be. I even kept my BFP pg test and kept checking it to convince myself. I had very few symptoms - just a bit of nausea and tiredness. Isn't the human body strange?
Hope everybody is having a good evening.

Ok, now... I have to step in and say something

(Kate is putting on fake glasses on a tip of her nose, making her look very mature, professional and profound)

Those of you who're pg already - DON'T YOU DARE go running off with doubts saying "oh my God, oh my God, do I feel pregnant enough?"

Remember how excited you were when you got your BFP? So it means that everything is FINE, and you'll be FINE, and DO NOT read into our stories!!!

oh god sorry, I feel awful, I wasn't thinking sorry peeps

well, i give up. ive been pretending that i am not actively ttc for ages now, who am i kidding? hmm? seriously!

sorry to see so many new faces here, but hi to all who "know" me.

af is due next tues and i feel a bit weird about it, im half terrified of getting pg again and half desperate for it to happen. my friend had her baby on what would have been 1 of my EDD's and its highlighted how badly i want another baby. not for me, or dh or even both of us but for ds. i feel that ive let him down by not giving him a sibling, we have been ttc for 2y 1m now, and thats a long time. sorry for ramble, just wanted to say hi!

Clair if anybody it should be ME who should be sorry - I started it!

lissiethevampireslayer please, please, please cut yourself some slack. You could have NEVER failed your DS; not because he doesn't have a sister or a brother yet. Have you not been there for him all this time in every possible way? I bet he doesn't share your "guilt"

oh, and each one of my pgs have been different, with 2 i had awful ms, with 1 i had none and with 4 i had a little bit. ms, or lack of has NOTHING to do with the viability of a pg. its the pg that determines what happens, not how ill/pg you feel.

i know, its just that (statistically at least) he should have a sibling by now.

oh well, maybe soon...

definitely soon. It's a very lucky thread!