TTC #1, cycle 13 and fed up! Whose with me?

[Theawkwardblonde]

Hello. So AF arrived yesterday which means I'm officially on cycle 13 of TTC. I'm a healthy 28 year old with husband whose 33. We've had 2 chemical pregnancies in the time we've been actively trying. We are just waiting on our dates for blood tests and SA for husband.

Needless to say I'm bloody fed up! Had 3 friends announce pregnancy news in the last week, and one friend is due in 4 weeks. TTC is definitely starting to take its toll on both of us and the realisation that something may be wrong is starting to sink in.
Who else is having similar? Please feel free to share/rant!

@Theawkwardblonde I'm sorry about AF 💐

@notyetamumbuttrying my GP thinks possible pcos and irregular ovulation because my testosterone and androgen are raised. Obviously I consulted Google and the internet suggested that Clomid and fibroids aren't a good mix. I have a medium subserosal fibroid. This is definitely a lesson in not consulting Dr Google 😬

@CurbsideProphet at least not long to wait now! I consult dr google all the time and tell myself I have all sorts wrong with me 🙃 so I wouldn't worry. I'm pretty sure we all do it, it's too tempting not to!

@notyetamumbuttrying they've lost my day 21 bloods so need to re book in for November. DH can't get SA done as local fertility clinic is being used for covid. We are making the decision to go private for him.
@CurbsideProphet thanks. Bloody annoying. It seems this thread is not a lucky one 😂

@Theawkwardblonde sensible decision! I remember you saying this now. Can totally understand your frustration with it all. Hope things turn around for you soon.

UPDATE: I'm currently 9DPO. The doctor called today with test results as promised. She said everything came back normal and my progesterone was 56 which is in the normal range too. I now have to get DH tested before she can refer us to the fertility clinic.

@Monday55 good stuff, that's a great number! Yeah get him booked in ASAP as those results take two weeks to come back usually.

Does anyone have irregular cycles and had day 21 bloods?

My cycles have been a lot better the past 9 months and are now between 25-35 days (previous had between 17 - 55 day cycles). I’ve been booked in for day 21 but this might not be 7 days after I ovulate. The dr said I’d maybe have to repeat the bloods but not sure how it will be any better to work out when to get them done the month after. Just wondering if anyone’s had experience of that before?

@Rosie189 I have slightly irregular cycles. I had to reschedule my bloods the day I got my LH surge. You could do OPK tests and calculate 1dpo starting 48hrs from the day you get LH surge. If you GP clinic isn't a a busy one 8days in advance should be enough to call in and make an appointment.

And here's AF again. Cycle 14.
It's exhausting 😩

@Monday55 oooh yes those are good numbers! Get DH booked in ASAP!

@CurbsideProphet aww no way. Sorry to hear AF got you. We are buddies..I'm starting cycle 14. Are you going to do anything different this cycle? We are going to try SMEP again. I'm rebooked in for bloods after the f.. up last time 🙄 DH is being referred private for SA.
I started vitamins again last month. Don't know if they'll help.
It's exhausting. Our friend is due any day now and I've got friends announcing pregnancies left right and centre. It's exhausting being happy and upbeat for them all the time. 14 cycles is a long time so i totally get the exhausting. I'm physically and mentally drained.

@Theawkwardblonde I have a phone appointment with a fertility specialist this week. I'm on the NHS list to see him in January but I don't feel like I can wait. My bloods showed likely PCOS so we need to take action especially as I'll be 35 before Christmas. Luckily we only have a few cousins who are pregnant. DH's friends already have children (literally all of them) while I have a lot of friends not interested in having babies.

I know how you feel. I don't know how to keep doing this. DH is gutted by the whole thing now and doing his SA on Thursday (plus delivering it to the lab 14 miles away in the strict time scales) was so stressful.
DH and I have both said that even if I do get pregnant we wouldn't be able to relax. We'll be so afraid that something will happen and we'll be back to the beginning again.

No one seems to talk about the absolute misery of ttc after 6+ months. You just get told it will happen. Even a GP and NHS gynaecologist told me to "just relax". My bloods have since shown likely pcos and a scan showed a fibroid. I can't relax both of those things away, so it's insulting that the first thing medical professionals do is to assume that there's nothing wrong and we're just impatient / hysterical women. I'm so sad and frustrated by the whole thing.

Hello All 👋🏻
@Theawkwardblonde
@notyetamumbuttrying
@Monday55
@Rosie189

And everyone else who might be reading.

I hope everyone is ok?
I've had my initial appointment with the fertility specialist and it was v interesting. Contrary to what my GP said he doesn't think that I have PCOS. My testosterone isn't high enough. He does agree that I'm not ovulating and that I need medication to get this started again. I should be getting this next week to start on my next cycle.

He gave me some advice that I'll share in case anyone is reading this while waiting for a referral.

He first said that if a couple both have average fertility then it would likely take them 9 months to conceive. If the woman is just a stone overweight (as I now am) that can reduce her fertility by half, meaning that it could take 18 months to conceive. This has really shocked me. I'm upset with myself, but obviously I can't go back and change things 😬 I'm working hard at eating healthily now, as I have 3 weeks until my next cycle starts. But obviously I wish I didn't need to.

He also said that pregnancy / fertility supplements are a waste of money and anyone who advertises them as necessary is only doing so for their own bank balance. The only supplements we should be taking are folic acid and vitamin D (as we're all deficient - mine is due to other medication, but most people are anyway especially in winter).

Interestingly he said a miscarriage can actually cause the body to stop ovulating as normal. Mine was so early (literally the day after my bfp), but he said even that can be such a shock for the body your cycle can change. And then that extra stone on top will also have an impact on ovulation.

The important thing is that stress does not have any effect on fertility. Unlike what my original GP and gynaecologist were trying to tell me! He said that you cannot relax yourself pregnant or relax your body into ovulating. This made me feels lots better, as I was being made it feel that it was my own fault for not being relaxed enough.

Hopefully that's a bit helpful and / or reassuring to read 🙂

Thanks @CurbsideProphet very interesting indeed! I'm 2 stone overweight so that's a bit awks 😂 I do think genes has a lot to play in this as I know plenty of overweight women who conceived naturally. My issue is with sperm though as I do ovulate every cycle and all bloods and scan were fine. Dh had his urologist appointment today. He had a blood test and will get an ultrasound on his balls. The dr had a look and couldn't see a varicocele so that was reassuring! I'm glad the appointment went well and you feel better now. Let's hope they give you clomid to get the ovulation going! X

@CurbsideProphet oh god this just tells me I need to lose weight 😫 was trying to talk myself into the fact that my body is fine but the last couple of days but I've been stressing and my bmi is 27 which is overweight ☹️ as hard as i try to eat healthy and exercise I still can't lose weight

@lucyrp if you struggle to lose weight that can be due to a hormonal imbalance that you can't control, so definitely don't feel like that is something you are doing wrong 💐 I know that I can lose weight (well I did last year for my wedding dress!) so that is something I can have a go at trying in the meantime.

The moral of my story is really that sometimes we can't control what our body and hormones are doing. And that's not our fault, so we shouldn't feel like we should be more relaxed or taking various supplements to try and fix it.

@notyetamumbuttrying yes DH has friends who are both very overweight who conceived despite 2 forms of contraception 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully your DH will get his appointment soon. It just shows that the advice to "just relax" really is complete bullshit!

@CurbsideProphet all my hormones seemed to be fine on my bloods I had done ☹️ I did lose weight. I was a stone heavier and I lost that but I seem to have plateaud. Tried a different diet and that isn't working either. I just had a shock aswell I looked up my bmi which I knew was overweight already but not by much but it says the bottom end of the scale that is classed as a healthy weight is 7 stone 6 for my height and I was 8 stone 8 when I was 16 before I had my DS and I looked like a stick then and make myself feel ill when I look at pics but yet the nhs expect me to be a whole stone lighter than that even!

@CurbsideProphet

Hello All 👋🏻 *@Theawkwardblonde* *@notyetamumbuttrying* *@Monday55* *@Rosie189*

And everyone else who might be reading.

I hope everyone is ok?
I've had my initial appointment with the fertility specialist and it was v interesting. Contrary to what my GP said he doesn't think that I have PCOS. My testosterone isn't high enough. He does agree that I'm not ovulating and that I need medication to get this started again. I should be getting this next week to start on my next cycle.

He gave me some advice that I'll share in case anyone is reading this while waiting for a referral.

He first said that if a couple both have average fertility then it would likely take them 9 months to conceive. If the woman is just a stone overweight (as I now am) that can reduce her fertility by half, meaning that it could take 18 months to conceive. This has really shocked me. I'm upset with myself, but obviously I can't go back and change things 😬 I'm working hard at eating healthily now, as I have 3 weeks until my next cycle starts. But obviously I wish I didn't need to.

He also said that pregnancy / fertility supplements are a waste of money and anyone who advertises them as necessary is only doing so for their own bank balance. The only supplements we should be taking are folic acid and vitamin D (as we're all deficient - mine is due to other medication, but most people are anyway especially in winter).

Interestingly he said a miscarriage can actually cause the body to stop ovulating as normal. Mine was so early (literally the day after my bfp), but he said even that can be such a shock for the body your cycle can change. And then that extra stone on top will also have an impact on ovulation.

The important thing is that stress does not have any effect on fertility. Unlike what my original GP and gynaecologist were trying to tell me! He said that you cannot relax yourself pregnant or relax your body into ovulating. This made me feels lots better, as I was being made it feel that it was my own fault for not being relaxed enough.

Hopefully that's a bit helpful and / or reassuring to read 🙂

Hi all! Relatively new to this but can’t help but think something is wrong after being off contraception and not being careful for about 6 months ( I know that’s hardly Any time in the grand scheme of things). I’m 29 and my partner is about 12 years older than me. It’s reassuring to read about the weight- I am probably about 3 stone overweight so can be fixed. My periods are pretty regular and I have physical signs of ovulation every month so I don’t think I have a problem there... was wondering at what point is the right time to go to the doctor for further tests?

@CurbsideProphet that’s definitely interesting I probably have another half a stone to loose to have a healthy bmi I have lost half a stone during lockdown (not really on purpose) my cycles have been more regular this year. Maybe I need to focus a bit more on weight loss. I don’t look massively overweight but I’m probably a stone and a bit heavier than I was when I got married!

Hi @Brightspark12 🙂
I just wanted to share what the fertility specialist has said to me. Obviously every woman is different. I had signs of ovulation (ie EWCM), but my bloods showed that my testosterone and androgen are raised which means I can't possibly be ovulating. That was a big shock after a GP and gynaecologist telling me that I just need to relax.
I'm 35 very soon which is why this is quite crucial now for me. I know it's easy for me to say, but if I was 29 I would definitely feel impatient yet time is on your side.

@Rosie189 it won't the case for all women, but I just wanted to share what the specialist had told me. I hadn't realised that my fertility could reduce so much for the sake of "just" an extra stone. If you're waiting for an appointment at least it's something to focus on in the meantime?

@CurbsideProphet that’s really interesting to know and something I never would have thought of. Thank you for sharing your appointment - fingers crossed for you in your next step now 😘 it’s nice to know we aren’t alone on this journey!!

@CurbsideProphet very interesting indeed and thanks for sharing. I still don't have bloods but now I'm a tad concerned re weight. I'm still 2 stone overweight but fittest I've been in my life. Lost 4 stone in a year and exercise minimum 6 times a week. Got me thinking that could be our issue 🤔🤔

@lucyrp my bloods were apparently fine in May, but I asked another GP for a second opinion in September and when she ordered more bloods she included testosterone and androgen. So my other bloods looked fine, but the fertility specialist said that the raised testosterone shows that I'm not ovulating. Maybe it's worth checking which bloods were ordered? My original GP kept telling me everything is normal but it's now clear that isn't the case.