TTC #1, cycle 13 and fed up! Whose with me?

[Theawkwardblonde]

Hello. So AF arrived yesterday which means I'm officially on cycle 13 of TTC. I'm a healthy 28 year old with husband whose 33. We've had 2 chemical pregnancies in the time we've been actively trying. We are just waiting on our dates for blood tests and SA for husband.

Needless to say I'm bloody fed up! Had 3 friends announce pregnancy news in the last week, and one friend is due in 4 weeks. TTC is definitely starting to take its toll on both of us and the realisation that something may be wrong is starting to sink in.
Who else is having similar? Please feel free to share/rant!

@Theawkwardblonde I was really surprised by what he said, as my original GP and a gynaecologist did not ask me about my weight or say anything about it. Their focus was on telling me I need to relax.

I put weight after my miscarriage in January, which was the crucial point apparently. I had gotten pregnant very quickly, but then my body just stopped ovulating.

If I was 30 I would spend 3 months losing weight to see if that worked before my NHS appointment in January. But as I'm 35 very soon and it's not guaranteed that losing weight would make me suddenly start ovulating again I'm going for the option of medication.

I don't want anyone reading this to really worry about their weight go on a crash diet.
I just thought it could be helpful to share that, as if you're waiting for a referral it would be better to know that this could be said to you and you'll be better prepared 💐

@CurbsideProphet I've had a lot of problem with my GP so much so that I've put a formal complaint in and had to write an email etc. They've ran over the results with me a couple of times and mentioned the testosterone levels and something else being fine. Im fed up of ringing them to be honest they're probbalt like "oh no it's her thag complained AGAIN"

@CurbsideProphet totally appreciate the heads up and thanks for sharing. My gp wasn't dirtied about my weight initially but I suspect that may Change if my bloods come back iffy. Did you say that you were sure you were ovulating? I cannot recall if you said you had all ovulation signs and it's not loading up previous posts as I'm in a place currently with next to no service 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

@CurbsideProphet worried not dirtied. Damn autocorrect LOL

@Theawkwardblonde I felt something wasn't right with my cycles changing, but I didn't know what. I get EWCM and assumed that meant I was ovulating. But apparently not. Very confusing! I'm really glad I asked another GP for a 2nd opinion and she did more bloods. There's a possibility that I haven't ovulated since last December and I wouldn't have even known.

Hi All, just checking in again really, not been on here for a while. Thanks so much @CurbsideProphet for sharing the info from your specialist, really appreciate the info. @Theawkwardblonde are you feeling a bit better? I hope so.
We’ve fallen off the wagon a bit, AF arrived Thursday and DP had a fuck up with his SA last week, as @CurbsideProphet said, the ridiculous rush to get the sample to the hospital was really stressful for him. He got there and the receptionist refused to take the sample because he apparently needs to book an appointment for SA - something the GP never mentioned and knew nothing about when we called 🙄 DP is having a tough time with his mental health atm and this was sort of the final straw for him and really stressed him out, so we’re sort of “parking” TTC for now as it’s one of the things adding to his anxiety that he can control.
Obviously I don’t want to add to his anxiety, but not knowing why we’re not able to conceive is making me increasingly anxious 🙃 Can’t bloody win 😉
Hope you’re all doing ok x

@BeachPeach that’s sounds frustrating but I think having a bit of time off can be refreshing in some ways.

I’m meant to be doing for my day 21 bloods on Tuesday. I have irregular cycles and so far no peak on ovulation tests and some spotting today. Worried I’m about to start my period and haven’t ovulated this month. Even more frustrating as DH been home for 2 weeks (works away) so should have been good timing wise for this cycle. Feeling a bit defeated. Also had to have a covid test luckily negative was sure with my luck would be positive and wouldn’t be able to go for bloods or get sperm analysis sorted for DH.

@BeachPeach thanks for asking. Feeling a bit better but every buggar round me is having babies 😂😂 with lockdown announced I'm thinking all our tests we have booked will be getting cancelled.

@BeachPeach how awful that they didn't explain properly the arrangements for providing SA. My DH was so stressed about the whole thing I literally had to leave the house to leave him to it. I can well imagine he would have felt exactly the same as your DP if that had happened to him.

I went for my day 21 bloods on Tuesday. I had some spotting on Sunday/Monday but stopped Mon evening. By Tuesday evening my period started. Although it’s been so light and almost stopped so not a normal period (normally very heavy and at least 7 days).

I knew I hadn’t ovulated this month with the short cycle and no peak on ovulation strips but got a call from the dr today to say bloods showed no evidence of ovulation. I’m crushed. I haven’t had a short cycle in a year (had a few days before) but basically ended up having a 20 day cycle this time.

Previously when this has happened I’ve then had a really long cycle last time it was 6 weeks.

All they’ve said is I’ve to book in for day 21 to 28 of my next cycle. Not sure if I should go with this “period” as the start of my cycle or wait until I have a more normal one. I was really hoping for a referral to gynaecologist due to irregular and heavy periods which is what the dr suggested if my bloods weren’t normal during my phone appointment.

DH got sent everything out for sperm analysis tried to book appointment and it’s not till January cause they’re not doing them just now.

Feeling pretty miserable about it all. Feel so broken.

@Rosie189 so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. Have the doctors said anything about any medication to help you ovulate?

No. I think it was a nurse or receptionist who called today. Just said was to repeat bloods next cycle. I guess I go as if this is cycle day 3 and just book the bloods again for around 28days. Given that this isn’t a normal period I think I’ll probably end up with no sign of ovulation again. If I wait till I have a normal period that could be another 6 weeks and then 3-4 weeks after that for the bloods just feels like such a delay. I’m so certain I do have issues as my cycles are irregular and periods so heavy I would like referred to a gynaecologist and that’s been discussed for over a year as a next step in investigations. Just frustrating when I know any waiting lists will be so long especially due to covid.

Also don’t know why I’m so upset I knew it would come back saying I hadn’t ovulated but it makes it feel so real. Like no matter what this might not work for us.

@Rosie189 it's all just rubbish isn't it 😔
I'm not ovulating and we've found out today DH has low morphology. We have an appointment at a private fertility clinic on Tuesday so we'll see what they say. We had originally assumed the problem was all me, so this is a spanner in the works. I'm trying not to panic google infertility and fees for IVF 😔

@Rosie189 just a thought, have you ever tried temping ?? I thought I wasn't ovulating and felt really defeated when I got my day 21 bloods back. The levels were supposed to be over 30 and mine were like 0.3 or something. I've tried temping in cycles before but got so fed up after CD30 but this time I powered through and I managed to pin point ovulation on CD45 with temping and I got AF 14 days later. Might be something to consider for you as I have up OPKs a while back as I'd never know when to start using them. I think I also had a 20 day cycle as I had some spotting for 6/7 days but can't confirm it so just taking this as a 59 day cycle

@CurbsideProphet sorry to hear that. Sounds so stressful and emotionally upsetting. Hopefully you’ll get some answers at the specialist appointment. Considering going private for some tests. Haven’t spoken to DH about it yet. For me this is an abnormal cycle and in general cycles have been good all year so a bit frustrating.

@lucyrp I haven’t ever really looked at temping. I came off the pill 2.5 years ago and for other health reasons. Initially periods all over the place. Since the start of the year cycles have been between 25-35 days and Past 6 months I’ve used ovulation sticks to confirm ovulation, often start around day 8 but sometimes dip in and out and may use just when I have change in CM. This month no peak ovulation stick and no sign of ovulation so knew the test would say that but just feel rubbish. Also just feel we’re now at a bit of a standstill. Can’t get SA done till jan as no appointments before then and who knows if the jan one will happen. If I have to wait 3 weeks after my next cycle then probably looking at another 10 weeks till I get day 21 bloods again judging on how my cycles have been when this happened before. So 10 weeks to then maybe get referred for who knows how long a waiting list to see gynae. My dr said would refer to gynaecologist and then from there would refer to fertility specialist so feels like it could take a while.

@Rosie189 temping is really the only way of actually confirming bbt. Its better than using OPKs. I'm also with you on the standstill as il waiting for a fertility referral/ gynae referral and it could take ages. The doctor said 6 weeks normally but could take longer because of Covid so I'm ringing this week to check up on it. Been ttc since august last year and getting fed up of it. I was on the depo injection until June and the shot wore off in august and my periods returned in December. I'm normally 30 day cycles and they were like that for 3/4 cycles then I got pregnant but it was a chemical pregnancy and that was in may. Since then I've had ridiculous long cycles they were 72, 47, 59 days and I thought I was ovulating on CD15 because that's when I picked up a peak on my CB ovulation sticks but I clearly wasn't as they were such long cycles.

@lucyrp I may look into again. I did briefly but it looked like a bit of a pain and I’m sure I’d forget to do it half the time.

@Rosie189 just make sure you set an alarm at the same time every morning and have your thermometer on your bedside table ready to go. It takes a while to get used to it, maybe w couple of weeks but once you get going its fine

Hello all 👋🏻
Hope everyone is ok. We've had our appointment with the fertility specialist. Because of my pesky fibroid nudging one of my ovaries and a slight issue with DH's sperm (caused by surgery years ago on a cyst) our best chance of having a baby is IVF. It's been a big shock, as I was convinced I would be sent off with a prescription. Hopefully it will sink in over the next few weeks. The NHS will fund 1 round at an excellent private clinic (no NHS service here) so we'll be looking at starting in the new year.
I've felt that something was wrong since March. Unfortunately I've been proven right, despite initially being told just to relax by a GP and gynaecologist 😏 It just goes to show that gut feeling isn't just woo.

@CurbsideProphet hello! Sorry to hear that your only option is ivf and that your gut instinct was right. How long has it been since tests etc to confirm this outcome?

@CurbsideProphet hi hun, thanks for sharing your news. I'm sorry you find yourself at ivf but great that you persevered and now have a way forward, that's great! This might be me next year too so would love to hear your journey.

Thank you both.
@Theawkwardblonde DH's SA results came through last week from the NHS. At my private appointment with the fertility specialist this week they also did an internal scan and measured the fibroid bigger than the NHS. So he based his advice mainly on those factors, but also on me being nearly 35. There's also the reasoning that if we kept trying for another 12 months without guaranteed success the fibroid could get bigger and cause serious problems.

I'm devastated at the moment, as I want to just "be normal" and dtd then have the lovely bfp moment. IVF also encompasses everything that gives me the shudders - needles, speculums, internal examinations etc. But @notyetamumbuttrying yes I will really try to focus on the fact that there is now a plan. The fertility specialist said he really thinks I'll be successfully pregnant from our NHS round 🤞🏻

@CurbsideProphet that's good then! Defo take comfort in that xx

@CurbsideProphet sorry to hear that your going to have to go with ivf. I can only imagine how you feel. As you and @notyetamumbuttrying have said at least there is now a plan in place. Will keep fingers and toes crossed for you!

Thank you @Rosie189 💐
I'm so down about it. I kept being told by a GP and gynaecologist that all I needed to do is relax and now I need IVF 😩