TTC after MC - September 2020 (Thread 13)

[VP91x]

Morning all,

BFPs 💕
@1990EM
@Tink20058
@DBTJ
@SmileyT
@2020wish
@Beesy90
@Pugprincess
@Lollol86

---

@VP91x
@MrsK21
@MichT4
@HE88
@Rainbowhope11
@Diorissimo1985
@Rb486
@Northernsoul90
@Firevie
@chloedancer897
@Happyvibes
@Bl0ndi3
@susiebluebell
@Bellabubble
@Furbsies
@Runnergirl1
@RichmondLady1981
@familybythesea

I don't think I have everyone tagged so please pop yourselves in xx

@Will867 everything crossed for you. Do whatever puts your mind at rest. I think I’d go to A&E to be honest. I had a bleed at 5.5 weeks which filled half a tampon. Managed to get an emergency app at my doctors that eve and they said I had to just wait it out as it was early stage pregnancy. I went for a private scan the next day at Portland road. Had to wait to find out two weeks later. Had bleeding on and off. The end result is sitting here on my lap shoving egg mayo sandwiches into his mouth. Keep hope, it could be ok.

Thinking of you x

@Firevie well done on the run! Especially in this crap weather. Just got back from the gym. Nice way to start the weekend.

Only time will tell. This TTC malarkey isn’t a true science. Everyone’s experience is sooo different but it can be fun to symptom spot. 😀 def too early for AF. Wait to see what happens tomorrow and hopefully it will shoot back up again 😁. 👍

@RichmondLady1981 thank you, I’m in a and e atm they’ve done urine test and are doing bloods and they’ve made me an appointment with the epau for Monday morning

@Will867 well done for getting yourself sorted so quickly. Knowing you’re being looked after will hopefully lower your stress a little and will give you answers. Try to take it easy and be kind to yourself. X

@RichmondLady1981 well done for the gym! I googled a bit more and apparently a dip at 5dpo is a corpeum luteal dip - apparently when es trogen goes down and progesterone picks up. It says it’s not a sign either way. I also forgot to take my progesterone pessaries last night apparently progesterone pessaries can also affect your BBT and make them rise. So it’s all a bit weird. But you’re right I’ve just got to distract myself and wait until next Saturday. Xxx

@Will867 fingers crossed for you. Hopefully they’ll confirm all okay xxx

@Jazper what beautiful news!!!!! Oh my goodness! I'm so happy for you lovely, i know it's been a long wait for you. Wishing you all the best for a happy, healthy 9 months!

@VP91x I'm feeling okay, thank you! I've been cramping really bad and AF started this morning. Super heavy! I've not had an AF like this since I was in high school 😳 not sure if it's an effect of the clomid or the fact that my body is finally working like it should🤷🏻‍♀️

How are you feeling?xx

@Jazper it required some willpower to get to 14DPO but also I was on holiday until 12DPO so couldn't POAS even if I wanted to! I've joined the other thread and it's nice to have that support, looking forward to seeing you on there too :) good luck for your retest, are you going to do one more than stop or do a digi too? I've not done anymore as think it'll just feed my anxiety x

Hi all,
Please don't mind me while I let out my frustrations. As a lot of you know, I tend to do this every month when AF comes and then I get over it so bear with me. My friend has just found out she's pregnant after a one night stand. She was basically told a few years back that she couldn't have anymore children as she has a lot of underlying health conditions as well as PCOS etc. I've been really supportive to her but deep down (and I hate myself for this) I'm so angry. I feel like everyone around me is getting pregnant and I can't. I really do feel like at this stage is just isn't going to happen. And I have no reason why. My cycles are so regular. I know when I ovulate now. It's so predictable. I feel like every month is one more egg lost that I'll never get back. I just don't know what else I can do. I cried this morning making yet another smoothie with the seeds in it and Pom juice. I feel like I'm literally doing everything in my power and nothing is working. I even took a real step back this month and didn't stress as much. I'm doing acupuncture. I'm health. I don't get it. Why is this journey so cruel. I'm still waiting for fertility services to resume here in NI and even then, it could be another year and my consultant said I don't have that long. I don't know what else to do. I'm a blubbering mess tonight and I can't think about anything else

@chloedancer897 I just had to write to reply to your post.

I'm so so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. this journey can be so cruel and it feels so incredibly unfair at times.

I think you need to take comfort in all you are doing. Sadly it doesn't mean things will happen straight away but you are giving yourself the best shot every cycle and that's the main thing. I also think it's so important to not compare your journey to anyone else's. That's the main reason I had to step away from here a little as I found myself being hard on myself, and it was self destructive. I completely understand your feelings towards your friends news - if you remember I was the same with my sister who just 'did it once and the never have sex', but ultimately, being down about that doesn't change my situation. It's really really hard and is a bitter pill to swallow, so I'm not trying to belittle your feelings.
Just remember you are in this for you, no one else. Your journey is different, and you will undoubtedly get your rainbow too, I'm sure of it.

Keep your chin up, keep doing everything you are doing, and remember they say that comparison is the thief of joy, and you need to go at your pace - forget everything else. Hopefully your appointment will come up soon too but in the meantime, distract yourself where you can and always stay strong, which we know you already are.

We are always here for you, vent whenever you like. But you have no less chance than anyone else so try and keep positive, even though it's super tough at times.

Sending so so much love to you xxx

Thank you @MichT4 you always have really inspiring things to say. I hate comparing myself to others. And I feel so selfish being angry about my friend considering she's actually not in a good place and its a very difficult situation for her to be in and I'm sure she's afraid and it's hardly ideal for her. And I really do hate myself when I get bitter. But this journey has been so painful for me and it's sucking the joy out of my life. I really appreciate this thread for being such a great support to me when I feel like this. And I know in a few days I'll feel mentally ready for another cycle. But it's so hard to be crushed every month and feel that disappointment over and over. I'm not holding my breath for an appointment. I was meant to be seen last October for a review and I haven't heard a thing from them. And my body clock is ticking on.

Thank you so much for your kind words xo

Oh god @chloedancer897 I totally can appreciate how hard it is. This journey has been a rollercoaster for so many of us, and I can't pretend to know how yours has been. But I know how hard it is, and how shitty each AF can be. It feels endless at times.
I just think it's important to always believe it will happen, always have faith in your body and what it can and will do.

Believe me when I say I do not always live by these words at all 😂 but I am definitely trying hard now to acknowledge this is a journey and the more we can see the positive, the easier it will be.

Please please don't feel bad for feeling the way you do about your friend. Anyone would feel like they'd been punched in the stomach with news like that, when they are going through their own thing. That's totally normal and understandable. I just don't want you to feel bad on yourself because of it. It doesn't change your story and you will be looking at your BFP one day. And it'll be perfect when you do. As you said, your friend has her own, different struggles so while things look ideal from outside, they aren't.
Keep going my lovely, always be hopeful, always keep hold of the faith 🌈🌈🌈🌈 xxx

@chloedancer897 I think your feelings are completely normal towards your pregnant friend. I can’t stand the sight of other pregnant women to be completely honest, it makes me feel like shit as the jealousy just takes over. You can be happy for your friend but sad for you too. I understand how your feeling too. I’m doing exactly the same taking expensive blood vitamins eating more chia seeds, kefir and nuts etc and still nothing. I don’t even know if I’ve ovulated this month or if I’m going to (my cycle is all over at the moment) we’ve just got to have faith as hard as it is at times, you will get your rainbow 🌈 xxx

@chloedancer897 hey sorry to hear how hard a time you are having with this. You would think I would know what to say when I’ve been there too but I’m struggling to advise. The only thing I’m wondering is maybe it’s time to stop all the things you are doing as it might be adding stress on you? I still think it was weird how just stopping work during lockdown did it for me. Is there any stresses you can remove from your life? Any other goals you want to achieve? Like I know when I was struggling I was focusing on doing house and garden bits and I set up an Instagram page to show progress etc. People told me again and again to relax and it drove me mad as I didn’t feel ‘stressed’ but I think I was doing too much work wise and not resting enough or enjoying life X

@chloedancer897 so sorry to read how you’re feeling. If it is any consolation, I feel exactly the same. I said to OH yesterday there better not be anyone else that gets pregnant because I’m next🤷🏽‍♀️ So don’t kick yourself feeling like this but I know how it feels as I feel like that too xxx

@chloedancer897 I'm so sorry you're having another month feeling like this. I always feel so hopeful for you as I'm sure alot of us do, because I know how long of a journey it has been for you.

This month why don't you stop all the seeds/supplements/OPKs? Just to give you a complete break from the extras, as even that can be an underlying stress in your mind because you feel like you have to remember to do it. As you said you know exactly when you ovulate. You can just have sex regularly. Have a couple of date nights? Beginning/End of FW. Have a massive glass of wine and just have a 'normal' month. You might feel even better for doing it, our mental health takes such a battering throughout this process.

I really do hope you're okay, and there is nothing wrong with feeling upset/angry over your friends news. Completely understandable, and feels so unfair.

Sending you lots of love ❤️

@Jazper 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Honestly it is wonderful news, did you test again today? Have you been feeling okay?
Thank you, that's very kind of you.

@Firevie I was meant to message the other day, that dip is more likely to be an estrogen surge which causes it, but then I saw that you found it on google 😂. I'm super late to message you about it. Progesterone is what makes you temperature stay high in your LP. So it would make sense. For pessaries to make your temp high/higher as it is extra progesterone if that's what happening for you. How is your chart now xx

@Rainbowhope11 oh no! Are you feeling okay? Have you started clomid round two?
I'm okay, no sign of of ovulation yet I'm CD18 which I'm gutted about xx

@VP91x there you are:) I’ve missed you but I know you’re taking a step back so good on you! So, I forgot to take my pessaries Fri night so yesterday had the dip which could have been the corpus luteum dip that I read about on google. Took the pessaries last night and I’m back up again on 36.60. 6dpo. Noted you’re saying temp rise could be because of the pessaries. So I guess we are saying for me not to get too excited about a temp rise? But surely progesterone pessaries help implant an egg right? Sorry about all the questions. It’s just because I was nervous about taking the pessaries and I need to keep telling myself they’re good for me but it’s not clicking in my brain because this month I’m totally fixated on getting my BFP lol. I want that as my bday gift haha just like a child 🙈 xxx

@Firevie Oh no, definitely be excited by a temp rise! It's all really good signs. Yeah, sounds like you're following a great pattern with a slight dio then straight back up to higher temps so 🤞🤞 everything crossed for you.

Don't be nervous for the pessaries they won't be harmful. It would be an amazing birthday present!! Xx

@VP91x thank you. You’re very kind!!! I just read your on cd18 but no ovulation yet. Could come later thought right? Are you doing OPKS this month or just taking a relaxed approach? I haven’t done any yoga or juices this time round. Just OPKS and pessaries and dtd. Hope this is enough! Xxx

Happy Sunday ladies.

@chloedancer897 sorry you’re having a rough time. I completely understand how you feel and it’s normal. I work in a small office at school with a lovely lady, and she announced the other week she was pregnant. I confided in her about my mmc as we work so close together so bless her it was difficult for her to tell me. As much as I felt happy for her; deep down I was bursting with jealousy. I’m honestly so pleased for but it’s hard at the same time.

Yes @Firevie that’s what I read too... oestrogen lowers temps and progesterone raises it. Sounding positive for you so far! Everything crossed for that special bday pressie! 🎁

After a boring 16 day’s for me I’ve just had my flashing face on CBD... better go and find my nice underwear out of the drawer!

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting on Mumsnet (and actually on any online forum). I'm not sure if this group is still active but I couldn't help but post to see who out there is going through the same thing as me.

DH and I have been ttc for 14 months now. It's felt like a lifetime. Each month I've been faced with the disappointment of AF. Last week, we finally got our first ever BFP. It was quickly taken away from us a few days later when I started to MC while on holiday. This entire week has been exhausting. Now we are absolutely devastated and afraid that we will never conceive, and if we do, what if we MC again.

I want to get straight back to it and BD as soon as possible (will need to see what the doc says when I see him tomorrow), but right now, just need some hope and advice on how to move forward. I'm wondering if fertility also increases in the months following a MC? I've been sucked into the trap of googling everything which has not helped as there's a mixed bag of information out there.

I'm so confused and want to fast forward time... 😔

We had our private appointment where they did a scan, AMH and sperm tests - all came back good, so at least we know we were probably just unlucky that it took us 9-10 cycles to conceive first time round. We talked to the consultant about various miscarriage tests:

Thrombophilia screen (including antiphospholipid antibody screen)
Antinuclear antibody
Thyroid function
Karyotype
Sperm DNA fragmentation
3-d saline scan

However she said the probability of them all coming back clear is very high and so we’ve decided to carry on TTC naturally and hope the next pregnancy sticks. Very happy that at least we should have no issues conceiving again. They also confirmed in my scan the second miscarriage (4+5) was complete and then today I got my solid smiley on clearblue OPK so hoping we get lucky this month!

@chloedancer897 I'm so sorry you are feeling so sad. I understand your frustrations. Hating yourself for feeling bitter resonated with me because i too have hated myself at times over the recent months for feeling exactly the same. But it's totally normal. You are allowed to feel sad, we're only human. And what a wonderful friend you are to put your emotions to one side to support her in the way you have. Be kind to yourself always ❤️

It really has @Rainbowhope11 , and thank you!
Oh wow, with me only popping on and off and scan reading, I've completely missed that you started Clomid! How exciting! Sorry AF got you, but as you say, perhaps it's a positive sign that your body is regulating. Was it your first cycle on Clomid?

@VP91x I retested this morning. It's difficult for me to assess the progression of it given that my last one was done at 3 in the afternoon. It's definitely darker, but wondering if it should be darker than it is... I think @MrsK21 is right, testing over and over just feeds anxiety. I will try and step away from them now and book an early scan in 4 weeks time. Xx