Preconception planners - still planning

[Bells3032]

Hi all. thought i'd make a new thread as the old one getting close to a thousand. Don't forget to rejoin!!

Omg! You've got so much going on! No wonder DTD has gone out the window! I'm sure you'll be right back where you were in no time! 😁
Xx

Hi ladies,

Got this from the gynaecologist this morning. 😭

Don't know how to feel or what to think.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 well at least you have some answers for your pain! I am glad the gyno is taking it seriously - women's issues are so often swept under the rug.

Sorry that this is more difficult for you but doesn't mean you won't get pregnant just that they'll have to monitor you more closely

@sunflowersaremyfav93 it's a lot to take in lovely but the good news is you are aware of it and so are your doctors. If and when you get pregnant they will be fully primed to support you and help you through it. Forewarned is forearmed!

If I was you I would probably go for the full exam they are suggesting so that I and they knew exactly what we were dealing with.

It sounds like there's no reason to think that you can't fall pregnant which is good news 😊

Thanks ladies, I agreed I'm going to go ahead with the procedures he suggests, oh never know, it might end up being a septate. I read a thread on here a while ago where a lady was saying her consultant want some so sure it was didelphic but actually ended up being septate. But whatever the outcome is, you're right, knowledge is power and we'll get our little bundle of joy.

We're getting a takeaway tonight and I'm going to have a glass of Prosecco, cuddle my pup and pray things work out well for us.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 glad you are moving forward. As you said knowledge is power.

Want pics of your pup btw. I am dying to get a puppy (i'd settle for a cat) but just too much going on in life. I grew up with dogs and miss having a waggy tail greet me

Omg he is sooo cute 😂😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I don't know what to say. I had everything crossed for you that it would be septate. Hopefully they're wrong, but even if they aren't there are lots of stories of successful pregnancies from the same situation.

Enjoy the takeaway, prosecco and cuddles. I'm sure it was a nasty shock to get that message.

Did the gynaecologist give you and idea of timescales for the follow up tests if you're going to go for it?

I know I was so hoping it would just be septate :( u found another thread though and it seems women with didelphic have healthy babies some are preterm some don't even know until they've had a csection.

He said the waiting time is considerably long because there is a backlog due to lockdown 1 and suggested I go private if I wanted to move this along so I explained my private healthcare didn't cover prevention of miscarriages and he said he'd argue it wasn't for that purpose so going to try and pursue it through my private healthcare, if he can provide a report explaining why I need this etc then i couldn't get it done privately. All up in the air, I've been so emotional today but I need to keep positive.

The thing with us starting in Feb is that we'd be ok for my sis in laws wedding in Sep as if still be in the safe the fly time (if I fell straight away) but I'd be high risk so wouldn't be able to go.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 sounds like he is really on your side and fighting your corner which I think is half the battle with these things 👍

@sunflowersaremyfav93 How preterm are we talking? DS was 33+2, and although none of us would ever choose an early birth personally I'd not be too worried about anything after 35 weeks. We were pretty lucky in all honesty but DS never needed oxygen and we were home with DS was feeding independently by 34+4.

I also have a 1/10 chance of a repeat abruption in any future pregnancy as a result of my previous abruption.

However, having spent (literally) weeks in hospital during my first pregnancy I realised that actually, it's very rare you get a 'textbook' pregnancy. If you've got a good medical team around you and you're fully armed with the facts then you're in a good position. Considering we're all on a preconception planning thread it probably means we're all quite similar and like to plan/control for outcomes. But if there's one thing I've learnt it's that it's always a roll of the dice when you decide to have a baby and you can't control a pregnancy.

I agree with @TheNewMrsW your doctor sounds fantastic. I definitely remain hopeful for you .

Archie is absolutely gorgeous by the way. I could snuggle that little fluff ball all night .

@Curiosity101 you give such good advice! The other thread I've been reading some women have to have steroid injections to ensure baby's lungs are strong enough and some get past the 35 week mark, I think you're spot on about having a good medical team around me.

One of my work colleagues also have some good advice, she said I can't control this but I can control how healthy my body is and I can do as much as possible to make sure it's a healthy environment for a baby.

I asked my gynaecologist about a cervical stitch and whether that would help and he said it'd be possible but only dependant on my anatomy so the procedures are to find out more.

I'm feeling a bit more positive this morning, there seem to be a lot of women who have been fine.

That's also really good to know about your son and you were home with him after not too long as well. And he's perfectly healthy now?

Archie is so cute but it really is hard work 😂😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I couldn't agree more with your colleague. That's why my pre conception focus has been making sure I'm as fit and healthy as I can be. The rest of it I'm just going to have to leave down to fate. 🤷☺️

And yep, DS is perfect in every way. I had to have steroids at 32 weeks when they started thinking that it was a matter of hours or days before my placenta was likely to completely abrupt. Despite being born at 33+2 he was only in NICU for 12 hours for observations before he came up to be with me on the ward. He needed no additional breathing support but did have a naso gastral feeding tube for the first 9 days. So if I were you I'd want to book into the most advanced/largest/best maternity hospital in your area. Not all hospitals are setup to cope with very premature babies so it's worth asking what term babies your local one takes once you get pregnant and book in with midwife.

PS. Glad you're feeling better this morning.

Hello!

Can I join you on here please?

I have been lurking recently, following on from a conversation with DH where we said we both want to start TTC. Not right now, but maybe next year some time. Possibly not until springtime.

The good thing about this, is it gives me a good chunk of time to get in shape. I'm a bit older, (37 now), and a bit overweight at the moment. Nothing major, but not ideal. I have massively cut back on alcohol already, but I need to work on cutting it out entirely and then cutting back on my beloved caffeine .

We have older dc, but I didn't do that much preparation for having them, other than cutting out alcohol. I was already fitter and healthier then though and younger. This time feels a bit different. I know I'm not exactly ancient btw, but I'm out of shape.

@sunflowersaremyfav93, I know we haven't 'met' on here yet, so I really hope you don't mind me wading in. But I was just reading your latest posts.

It sounds like you really have your head screwed on and I think it's good that you know the score ahead of time. As you say, some people say they didn't know they had the same condition until they had their babies. That sounds really hopeful. So does what the doctor said I think .

This bit of advice below, which you posted, applies to so many situations. You have a very wise colleague!

One of my work colleagues also have some good advice, she said I can't control this but I can control how healthy my body is and I can do as much as possible to make sure it's a healthy environment for a baby.

Hi ladies,

I had a really nice day relaxing yesterday and got a little bit panicky last night but I’m all calm again now. I ended up looking up some hashtags on Instagram and messaging some of the accounts and it seems that it’s not as bad as google makes it sound and there are so many women that have just been looked after more during their pregnancies and ended up with healthy babies.

@curiosity101 This has given me a real kick up the bottom to get fit and get back to my healthy eating. We’re you doing slimming world?
Aw I’m so happy to hear that! And very good advice about checking out the best hospital in the area, I hadn’t thought of that!

Hello @romillytherabbit 🙂 aw thank you so much! I was thinking ‘oh I wish I knew none of this’ but like everyone else has said I’ll be so much better equipped now I know all this. My colleague was spot on 😊 it’s given me the motivation I’d lost.

Welcome to the thread by the way, it’s so nice to have this thread to talk to each other about anything and everything. You’ve got loads of time to make changes.. I used to drink 8 cups of tea a day and a coffee and now I’m on one cup of caffeine a day 😂

Thanks sunflowers. Down to one a day from eight is impressive! That's my goal too.

Dr Google can be absolutely terrifying. Sounds as if you've found some more balanced sources of info! Hope you get a date soon for your procedure 🤞.

Hello everyone 👋🏻 Wondering if I can join. We’re hoping to start TTC in the new year but have been planning and discussing things for a long while now.

I’m a haemophilia carrier so if we get pregnant with a boy there will be a 1 in 2 chance of him having severe haemophilia like my dad. The treatments for haemophilia are better than when my dad was a kid but it’s still pretty debilitating particularly if it’s severe. Like you @sunflowersaremyfav93 we wished we hadn’t got this to worry about and actually we both felt a bit resentful about it for a while, but I honestly believe that like someone said earlier forewarned is forearmed and it’s actually a benefit to be able to prepare yourself. Like you say as well lots of people suffer with problems but have no idea beforehand so it all comes as a nasty shock to them with no chance for them to prepare, so in a way we’re lucky really that we know.

We have made the difficult decision that if we were unlucky enough to fall pregnant with a boy with haemophilia we wouldn’t go ahead with the pregnancy. It’s a lot to get our heads around but me and my husband have both got several severely disabled people in our families (including both my parents) and we feel it’s the right choice for us. We spoke to my mum about it last night and she completely supported and agreed with the decision. We’re just hoping we have a girl for our first (if we’re lucky enough to conceive) and all of this will go out of the window!

We’ve had a phone consultation with a lovely doctor which really helped us to feel informed and put our minds at ease about some things, would really recommend it if anyone is considering that before TTC. Tomorrow I have a blood test booked in to check the genetic mutation of the haemophilia which will then allow the hospital to check the embryo if and when we fall pregnant and need to. I’m amazed at all the tests they can do these days - we can check the sex with a blood test at just 10 weeks which just blows my mind. Anyway, need to get pregnant first so probably should calm down 😂

Hope it’s okay for me to join you all, I’ve been lurking for a bit and you all seem so wise and kind!

Best of luck @sunflowersaremyfave93 with going private, really hope you get the tests etc booked in quickly and it’s good news for you 🤞🏻

Welcome to our newcomers 😊

Well I'm a bit glum today as it's looking like I didn't ovulate this cycle. I thought I did last week (LH rise, EWCM) but no temp rise to follow and I have cramps and bleeding today 🙁, would be way too early for AF if I had ovulated as at the most I would be 7DPO and normal LP is around 14 days. My chart shows I def ovulated last month which was my first month of charting so I am hoping it's a one off. Even though we were only NTNP this month I was really hoping this was my first TWW so I'm a little disappointed. On the plus side of this is CD1 then that means I'm now into my first cycle of officially TTC! 🤞🤞🤞

Welcome newcommers

@sunflowersaremyfav93 glad you're feeling more positive. doctor google is a very dangerous place!

@TheNewMrsW sorry to hear you didn't ovulate. honestly i can't get my head my temping. i did it for a couple of weeks but my temprature was all over the place all the time. Good luck with the official first cycle

@HopingHare sorry to hear about heomophilia. I am suprised that you aren't doing IVF with genetic screening? Sure that's less traumatic than going through with a termination esp if the chances are as high as one in two?

All good here with me. DH and i spent the afternoon going through all the consent forms for our IVF treatment. We still haven't decided if we will try and get one in before christmas or not (depending on my slightly bonkers cycle we may or may not be able to). We had our meeting on Tuesday to go over the treatment plan (DH went a little pale when he saw the medications i will have to be on - he feels a tad guilty putting me through this). but we are rip raring to go when AF makes her appearance. haha.

Hey ladies! Just catching up on all the messages!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 you must be feeling so overwhelmed with the results but I agree with the others, its great news that they are doing something about it and that it is being taken seriously, and it is good to know that you still can get pregnant, it will just be high risk. Hopefully you can get seen down the private route. I really hope you enjoyed your prosecco and take away! Defo deserved it. Also Archie is honestly such a cutie!!!

@TheNewMrsW oh im so sorry to hear you didnt ovulate this month, hopefully it is just a one off and the bleeding stops soon so you can crack on with next month.

@bells3032 all sounds very exciting with the IVF treatment and hoping it all goes well!

Welcome to all the newbies!!

9DPO today and did a test this morning because I couldnt help myself and its a negative, but its still early days! Ive had a ton of creamy CM this month (although it seems to have subsided now) and loads of cramping since ovulation. Doubt they are any pregnancy related symptoms, but always gets interesting when something different happens! TWW really drags so bad!

Woke up this morning just feeling so blehhh. I kinda cant even describe how I am feeling. Like a little bit stressed, a little bit sad, a little bit tired, a little bit irritable, a little bit 'cant be arsed with life'. My mood cant make its mind up and I would happily just go back to bed and sleep till the weekend if I could!

Hey ladies! I’ve been away for a while but it’s been lovely to catch up with your messages.

I’ve been away processing that I’m not going to get to become a Mum. I shared before that I was here to get myself ready in case my OH agreed... but we had the big talk and the sad fact is he doesn’t want a kid. I’m pretty sure I could convince him to do it “for me”, but that’s not enough. If he doesn’t want it for himself I don’t think it’s right to bring a kid into our family. So that’s it.

I guess that means I should leave this group, too. I didn’t want to disappear though without thanking you all so much for your generous help and advice. It was a lovely last bit of time when this dream was still a possibility. But life takes some funny twists and turns, and it’s time I found another path.

Any baby dust I may have had I send on to you all, with love x

@BeeBuzzz I don't know what to say 🥺 I'm sorry things have concluded there but I do think you're very sensible to not push your OH. Babies are bloody hard work, trying to convince someone into it who's not 100% sure would be a risky business. I'll be sad to see you go though and wish you well in your future! Don't feel you need to leave btw, do whatever feels right to you. 🙂

@CookieMonster3001 Good luck for later in the week. Would I be right in guessing you tested today?

We're doing well here. Dieting has gone out of the window. Initially it was as a result of my DHs birthday and now the plague (bad cold) has descended on our house. There's always next week 🤷. Looks like I'll be ovulating in the next few days. Happy to have this cycles ovulation out of the way. Then I'm going to get on top of dieting again. I really want to get too my pre pregnancy weight - 1lb to go!!!! I've also started my thyroid medication, can't remember if I mentioned it? So far so good... Felt a bit weird for a few days but I think my body has adjusted now and I'm feeling pretty normal now 🤷