Preconception planners - still planning

[Bells3032]

Hi all. thought i'd make a new thread as the old one getting close to a thousand. Don't forget to rejoin!!

@CookieMonster3001 I have probably missed something as there was so much to catch up on, are you thinking of not trying in Dec? Sounds like you guys are feeling the pressure so taking a month off is maybe not a bad plan especially given it's December 🙂

Hi Everyone, I lost the thread there for a bit because I'd not posted on a while. Only need from me is that I got my first peak OPK which I was super excited about. I'm 11dpo going to test in the morning but not holding out much hope. I'm in a terribly bad mood tonight for some reason.
@sunflowersaremyfav93 your puppy looks gorgeous... definitely keeping you busy till your TTC. Is your MRI next week?

Oh my god, this def practice for a baby! I’ve been so tired I’ve come up in spots on my face and a cold sore, woke up this morning and my lip has swollen up. Since WFH in March I’ve been waking up at 9am literally doing what I like, taking the time to eat loads of fruit and veg and atm I’m trying to keep up 😂 love it though, I have no time to think about babies. I just worry where I’m so tired and not eating as well as I used to I’m undoing all of my hard work.

Yesterday on FB I saw that this girl who was in my year at school is pregnant for the 4th time... but she’s like a Vicky pollard type.. not being horrible but her other three kids have been taken off her so when I saw that I thought how does it happen for people like that?? Anyway that annoyed me quite a bit.

@curiosity so glad to have it out the way, hoping I get the results this week so I can get on to the next waiting list.
Great that you’ve got your results and got some treatment for it!! Are you starting TTC in Jan?

@cookiemonster3001 ooh fingers crossed for you!! That would be cute having birthdays near eachother! Is he struggling because there’s pressure now? I was thinking the same when we start TTC is it always in the back of your mind that you want to conceive so you end up enjoying it less?

Welcome @Mayday27 I literally started planning back in April and we’re not starting until Feb ... crazy haha!!

@TheNewMrsW We’ll try and keep you going in the TWW, I imagine it must be hard to think of anything other than taking a test??

Hello @butterfly5291 how have you been? I had the scan on Monday so hoping to get some results this week, fingers crossed! He’s gorgeous but an absolute terror 😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 hope you get some results soon and move onto next stage. Did they say how long till your results? Was it NHS?
I did a test this morning and BFN. It's only my 4th month but I'm so disheartened. I have endometriosis so I just worry that every month I have a period my tubes etc are becoming blocked and reducing my chances each month

@butterfly5291 Yeah it's NHS, I was due to have an appointment on 15 Dec to discuss results but I emailed the gynaecologist and asked if I could pay to speak to him or another gynaecologist privately because I didn't want to wait 5 weeks to be told I need to wait another 6-8 weeks for the next scan or procedure. So he said to email him once I've had the scan and he'll call me once the results come in which take a few days so really hoping I get a call Friday.

Can you tell the docs a little white lie and say you've been trying for a year so you can get checked out? They do say on average it takes 6 months - 1 year but I'd feel the same as you.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I really hope you get a call soon.
Its on my records that I asked for my coil to be taken out in July so I don't think they'd listen to me yet. If I'm not pregnant after my January cycle I will contact them because it will be 6 tries by then.
DH is not being helpful either, he's not concerned because it's only month 4 and I have tested early. I said maybe my womb is a hostile environment and he said probably is if it's like your personality so now I'm fuming with him.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 My fingers are well and truly crossed for you that you get a phone call soon. For me waiting is always the worst part so well done for speeding things through!

And yes, currently the plan is TTC from January. If my cycles stay anything like they have been then a January baby would be due 3 days before DS was due... But we'll just have to wait and see. I'd love to start TTC in December but with a combination of waiting for blood test results and having a due date around mid-September, it just doesn't seem feasible. Plus DH is onboard with January (after originally suggesting February or later), so I'm not going to push my luck.

I'd try not to worry about DTD too much btw @sunflowersaremyfav93. There's no reason that it has to be less fun. I think it's only less fun if you let it be about TTC.
I've spoken to my DH about this and how different the pressures are that we feel. Men generally feel the pressure to 'perform'. Women feel pressure to ensure the environment is at it's optimum (so we take vitamins, lose weight, track cycles, exercise etc). All we can do as partners is support each other in the bits we find harder.

I've also made it clear to him that the only thing that will be changing for us is that contraception is being removed. He knows I'm on this thread at that I spend a decent amount of time on the TTC board. I think a little bit of him was initially worried that I'd be considering a TTC regime or something. I am going to track ovulation with OPKs but only because my cycles are reasonably irregular so I wouldn't know when to do a HPT. I made the joke that I'm always in the mood around ovulation anyways, and he's convinced that we'll conceive first go. I think his exact words were "How many minutes do you think it'll take to get pregnant". I've told him loads of times that secondary fertility is a thing, so I just hope he doesn't end up more disappointed that me if/when we get BFNs.

@curiosity101 I think you’re spot on, the waiting is absolutely the worst part for me as well!

Jan is so soon now isn’t it and at least then you can enjoy Christmas.. if we get a normal Christmas. I know what you mean, my OH is the same, we’ve set ourselves on Feb and heaven forbid I suggest an earlier date, it’s like we’ve carved it in stone 😂

Yeah that’s so true, I hadn’t thought about it that way, I do actually need to lose some weight so that really is top of my list at the moment. Hahah my OH is exactly the same, he tells me he ‘just knows’ he has strong swimmers and we’ll get pregnant straight away and then I try to explain the stats and what not to him but it goes over his head 😂 I wish men understood it just as much as we did!

@butterfly5291 I said maybe my womb is a hostile environment and he said probably is if it's like your personality so now I'm fuming with him.

That's a horrible remark. Talk about kicking a girl while she's down.

As an aside, there really is no reason to believe there's anything wrong with either of you. It honestly can take up to 12 months for anyone, even if you have no fertility problems at all. I don't know much about endometriosis but if it could impact your fertility longer term then pushing the doctors to start investigations in January sounds like a great plan. How have your cycles been so far whilst TTC?

I had a little break from this lovely chat because I was driving myself mad with the waiting, but I thought I would pop by again since it is only a month till we start trying, natural cycles is predicting I will ovulate on Christmas Day, so it looks like me and my partner are in for a fun lock down Christmas 🤣 we are supposed to be going to stay with his parents but I'm secretly hoping it won't happen so we can start Ttc!

@Curiosity101 I was being a bit of a bitch TBF because I was telling him he needs to stop w*king as much as it's wasted sperm. He was having a lie in and moaning at me for getting up and opening the curtains so I could cleanse my face etc. He wasn't even sleeping...he was playing the switch!
My cycles are about 33 days, last month I ovulated a week late but I was very stressed because we got married on 15th October. I know it can take a while under perfect conditions, it just makes me worry more bevy of my endo.

@butterfly5291 omg I missed the hostile environment bit!!!!

@butterfly5291 he's being a man and thinking it's all as easy as having sex I'm guessing? Something mine would say cheekily!

@butterfly5291 hahah apparently it's good for ru em to ejaculate often, it keeps the sperm nice and fresh 😂

Received this from the gynaecologist this morning, what do you ladies think?

@TheNewMrsW nope no plans on having a break, but just going to try to be a bit more relaxed about it instead. Kinda difficult really because my OH generally knows that if we are DTD more than once a week, its because its my fertile window, and it just gets in his head! I think he gets really nervous!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 aww bless I bet you are doing amazing with Archie!! Yeah I think its just in his head that its to conceive, so even if I don't say anything to him, he just automatically feels stressed. He was saying its causing him to struggle to stay erect and I just feel so bad because I don't know how to help him. Tried to be as relaxed as possible about it but he over thinks everything. Fingers crossed you get your call soon!

@butterfly5291 I am so sorry about your BFN.. what DPO are you? Maybe its too early? I don't blame you for being angry at your OH for that comment. Fingers crossed it happens soon for you. I think even though we know it can sometimes take up to 12 months, you cant help but have that thought in the back of your mind.

@Curiosity101 LOL at the comment about ''how many minutes do you think it'll take to get pregnant.." it reminds me of how my OH says straight after DTD, ''Have I impregnated you yet?''

@wrensandrobins An xmas day conception would be amazing! Hopefully you wont be at your in laws so that you can really enjoy it! My sister lives with her in-laws and I honestly don't know how they DTD. Mind you, she says she's got used to it now.. I think I would find it so uncomfortable!! haha

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Great news that the gynaecologist got back to you so quickly. How are you feeling? I just did a bit of googling, but not sure what sort of thoughts you're looking for? What were your thoughts on the email you received?

@sunflowersaremyfav93 sounds like they are info gathering at this stage, have you ever had any issues with the points they have raised? Sounds like they think septate is far likelier than 2 uteruses (uteri?)

A bit of light hearted relief .... obviously I have developed a bit of a POAS obsession with OPKS but when it comes to peeing I am a frequent flier, always have been! I drink lots of water too. Trying to save up my wee for a good afternoon POAS is torture, anyone watching me would giggle at the sight of me bouncing on my chair desperately trying to hold off for a while longer 😂 anyone else have this issue?!

@CookieMonster3001 This might be an overly personal question but is there a reason you can't DTD a bit more regularly to disguise your fertile week?

But yeah, I really hope my DH is kidding about when he says things like that. He seems a lot more interested in things this time and has pretty much got the hang of how fertility/cycles work. He's even asked to read the pregnancy test together this time. It's a big difference from when we were TTC DS. I just hurried myself off to the bathroom and in his words shoved it under his nose before he'd even properly woken up . I don't know about you girls but testing day feels a bit like Christmas for me, in the sense that it's the last thing you think of when you fall asleep the night before and the first thing you think of in the morning. DH definitely sounds a lot more like that this time around.

In many ways, I'm actually looking forwards to a second pregnancy more than I was with my first cause I have some idea of how it will be. In lots of respects, it doesn't feel as daunting. I'll definitely slow down to really enjoy the early flutters and kicks etc. But then, on the other hand, knowing everything we went through... it does make me pause and ask myself if it's worth the risk. Then I look at DS and think how amazing it would be to have two of him . And it's hard not to imagine the future with a second child at the age DS is now, which is when DS would probably be around 3years old and I'm like 'yep, it's going to be a lot of fun!'

I'm just so confused, I'm not sure which I'd prefer to be honest. From that I'm guessing he think it's septate rather than I have two? Which I guess is good?

I had a smear in Feb 2018 and it was all fine, I mentioned to him at times I have pain during intercourse (normally it's when my oh is putting it in) but is that normal? I don't know? Not been pregnant or tried before but it's so good that he's getting back to me quickly, that's def a plus!

@TheNewMrsW I'd recommend limiting your water intake over an hour or two more than specifically trying to do a long hold whilst drinking a normal amount. For example if you want to do a wee around 2pm I'd aim to go to the loo at 12pm and then not drink again until 2pm if possible. It's not ideal, but I'm like you in that I drink loads. To the point that the midwife used to comment on me "giving her water" every time I gave her a sample.

Hiya does anyone know how to get to the end of a thread like this on the app?! I started to scroll and then gave up! I'm not sure if I'll even be able to see a reply to this 😆🙈

@madeinthe80z there are two arrows at the top of the screen if you click they reverse the thread!

@Curiosity101 yes I am trying to do that but it's so hard not to drink I keep reaching for the water 😂