Feb Bus Pt 3

[Juno231]

@MimiArm
@paintfairy
@MrsTwentyEight

Figured I'm not ready to let you ladies go ☺️

@MimiArm yeah it's all relative though isn't it! Cause I was a size 10 for all of my 20s that's what I want to get back to and feel super uncomfortable currently. I'd like to not dread being seen in swimwear, daring to have my arms out (I somehow put weight on there first?) and not wince at the roundness of my face every time I see a pic. I would never think the same about someone else my size my size, I'm just hyper critical of myself - probably stems from a childhood of granny always telling me to lose weight (even when I was a size 8!) and growing up in Sweden where everyone was tall and slim lol.

@Juno231 I get what you mean. We all know when we feel comfortable and when we don't. Whilst I'm dying to get back to a 12/14, when I was that size I was always complaining. At the minute, I dread being seen full stop. I'm just glad we wear masks out in public these days! But I have the fear that soon enough I will need to go back into the office so I'm going to try to make sure I shift this extra stone (and a half) before that happens (at least). Right now, I look like a potato.

Lol - that's terrible your granny telling you to lose weight. I can equal that - my mum has had an eating disorder for many years (and laxative addiction many years ago). I remember as a teen asking her how she would feel if she was my size (I was probably 8/10 and athletic then - I was big into swimming). She literally said she'd throw herself out the window 🙈 Luckily, I didn't take it to heart. To this day, she thinks I'm greedy because I actually eat meals.

Growing up in Sweden - yes, I can only imagine. The land of the Victoria's Secret models!!

Hi ladies
How are you ?
I'm 6 weeks on Tuesday and absolutely terrified still. It has sunk in a lot more now!
Re: weight, I stopped dieting and gained a bit of weight back on...but I have to be very careful how much I gain (if this all goes well!) Only allowed 5kg ..max 9kg throughout 🙈
@Juno231 good luck with new job!! I hope the same thing happens to you as it did me, few months into new job 🤭

@MrsTwentyNine madness that you're six weeks already! Did you carry on testing at all? What's next - have you booked in with a midwife/will you wait until the 12 week scan or do an early one privately? How are you feeling? When you say you're only allowed max 9kg gain - is that due to your pre existing weight? Don't be too harsh on yourself though!

And thank you - I'm hoping their mat policy kicks in swiftly so I don't have to wait too long. I'll also try and see if I can leave my current job earlier to speed things up a bit (3 months notice is such a drag).

Got the ivf paperwork through at the weekend. There's so much!

Oh @Juno231
Why are we jinxed on this group
Pretty sure I've just miscarried today ....
2 days from being 7 weeks
Life is a bitch eh

@MrsTwentyNine ah feck I'm so sorry :( we're cursed aren't we. Big hugs and we're here for you ❤️

@MrsTwentyNine Aww, I'm so so sad to read this! Did you go to EPU for confirmation?

If you have miscarried, this group really is jinxed 💔

Here for you too xx

@MrsTwentyNine How are you physically? Did everything pass without the need for intervention? Big hugs xxx

Just had the scan to confirm everything is out ladies
I'm okay
Just feel a bit numb!
But seriously what's up with our group 😭 I need timeout from TTC after this ...I know I've said that in the past but this time I need to grieve and heal.
Hope you ladies are doing okay xx

@MrsTwentyNine I'm so sorry this has happened and you're right - you do need time to grieve and to heal, mentally and physically.

You will probably go through a range of emotions over the coming months. I still tear up randomly and unexpectedly and I'm dreading the end of next month as that was my due date. I so wanted to be pregnant again by then to ease it somehow but thats clearly not happening! I'm now angry as I'm on day 33 of constant full flow bleeding and I hate my body so much for failing me.

Someone sent me a book to read and which did help a little. It's by Izzy Judd and called "Dare to Dream".

Take care of yourself and always here to chat anytime xx

@MimiArm I'm sorry about my late reply. Thank you for your kind words.

I am so sorry that the date is coming up you're dreading. I have no words of comfort to offer other than that to say don't give up. So sorry that you're having the bleeds continue too. I can't imagine how you feel but please stay strong. We are conditioned to believe that procreating is our main purpose in life as women, but quite frankly, I'm starting to move away from this view. I am trying to be grateful to be alive. To be with my best friend everyday. For holidays. For my health. This TTC journey is all consuming and such a spiral but I am finding this outlook helps me.I have distracted myself also by booking a holiday in a few months time. I'm solely focusing on that. Taking some time out of Mumsnet and anything Mum/baby related. I need to focus on me first. I am not at my best version right now physically and I want to get to my healthiest version before anything else.

I'll try to check in on this thread when I can but please stay strong

@MimiArm I hope your bleeds have stopped by now? Any news overall?

@MrsTwentyNine I don't blame you for taking time out. Take good care of yourself xx

No news here - I'm starting that new job in Oct so won't be TTC until then. Might even hold off until Jan if I can...

@Juno231 Hey hey :-)

My bleeding stopped after 46 days. I'm still waiting on the "urgent" ultrasound GP arranged but forgot I have private medical through work so had a scan last week. Consultant gynaecologist said my lining is still full and hormones are to blame. Gave me progesterone to take for a week to bring on another bleed. Also confirmed that I have PCOS.

So waiting for next bleed and will then get HyFoSy scan at private clinic and take it from there .... again!

Do you feel good/bad/indifferent about the wait to TTC? I can see why you'd want to try to hold off until Jan. Maybe the lack of TTC will do you a world of good for a load of months.

Where did @paintfairy go? Is she ok?

@MimiArm hey! I'm still here. 🙄 2 failed IUIs under my belt, awaiting the 3rd. I have no hope for it though, but only after that can we progress to ivf.

Wow, I can't believe you are still having issues. Seems like forever. Hopefully the drugs will do the trick!

@paintfairy Ah, good to hear from you. Sorry the IUIs didn't work. At this rate, we could be IVF'ing buddies!

The progesterone is just a quick fix to get the lining to shed for now. The consultant mentioned that the fertility consultant may put me on Metformin - but as soon as we can have the HyFoSy, we "should" be ready for IVF right away.

In a way, I'm glad to know what my problem is. I'm fairly sure this only happened after I stopped the mini pill. Also makes sense re the extra weight I've put on this past year and a half.

How's your wrist?

@MimiArm I do hope it won't take much longer for you. The waiting is very frustrating! I've just realised I've missed a whole load of posts on here from everyone, so I'm going to have to go back and read!

Yeah my wrist is, erm, annoying. 🙄 I'm at the fracture clinic tomorrow. They'll likely discharge me. But I still don't bend in the right place, so I'm guessing I'll need physio. They had to plate it and my scar is slowly looking better. I've been shoving silicon gel on it. Probably doesn't really work but.......
I can at least do most things now though in a fashion. The first few weeks were very challenging! 🙈

@paintfairy I'm sure it was very challenging only having one operational wrist? We all take for granted all the normal everyday things but when I think about it, you probably couldn't do many many things! Glad to hear it's healing though and hope you regain strength as quickly as possible!

@MimiArm yeah you really don't realise! I couldn't get my contact lenses in. 🤣 I think if it was my left arm I'd be pretty OK with doing more now, but it's a right pain it being my right. But it's getting better all the time.

@MrsTwentyNine goodness. I cannot believe I missed your posts. Firstly I was like oh wow and then I was like oh . I'm sorry. How are you now?

@MimiArm gosh I'm glad they're doing something but my god it feels like you're having to wait ages every step of the way. How incredibly frustrating! Is a hyfosy something different from a hycosy? Is it something you have to do before they let you progress with ivf?

I definitely feel weird not ttc. But also a lot calmer - although I do have time on my side still (will be 34 in Jan). I sometimes still get annoyed that I wanted to try for a baby back in 2017 already and OH is the one who delayed it but oh well, nothing can be done now.

My one concern now is how I delay ivf on the NHS a little bit - sod's law they'll have no waiting lists this time and will want me in for it in September already or something 😂

@paintfairy is your mum still helping out or is your hand sufficiently okay for you to do stuff on your own now?

@Juno231 mum is helping me with the horses still but I can do much of it by myself now. Carefully. At home I'm mostly OK as long as i don't bend it past where it hurts. I'm now discharged from the fracture clinic but apparently should have been referred to physio after 2 weeks of my op. In which case I'd be further along than now. 🤦‍♀️

@Juno231 It seems like things are moving incredibly slowly cos they definitely are! And yes, it's so frustrating. Delay, delay, delay! A HyFoSy is a hystero foam sonography - so they pump on foam to better see what's going on in there. He also talked about putting in clear fluids as well to check, and will check tubes too.

You really do have time on your side - and I'm glad you feel calmer about it all. Hindsight is a wonderful thing 😊 I'm freaking out as I turned 40 last month so I'm officially at my scary age now - more pressure!

@MimiArm wow it's not often I learn new TTC facts nowadays so thank you for the HyFoSy! 40 still sounds good to me, as weird as it sounds - I think it's cause I've been on these boards for so long I've seen plenty of women at 42, 43, 44 TTC that I'm thinking at 40 you still have a few years left to try at least so you're not in the last chance saloon at all. Would suck though if it means you don't end up with the amount of kids you'd have liked to have but I think at this point we'd all be grateful for one little miracle...

@paintfairy I just can't.. how are these docs messing up every step of the way like this?? I really hope physio helps and starting late doesn't have any long term impact on you.

I'm bracing myself for trying to decipher my IVF referral funding paperwork to see what the time limit is for me to send it in. I want to do it as slowly as possible so I don't lose my NHS spot so to speak yet don't end up being called in for IVF this autumn with no option to postpone.

@Juno231 did they not indicate a wait time for the funding? Mine said 3 months when I last asked (might have changed now though) but that would give you an indication? I'm also sure there must be some leeway to start too. I mean people have lives! They can't just say come tomorrow or you don't get it?

As for the drs I've no idea. Its that manic there I'm not surprised things get missed. Had I realised I would have asked at my 2 week appointment, when they said nothing, but I just assumed you must not have it until after 6? I've never had faith in the nhs though and I still don't. They just are so over stretched. The fertility unit though is always empty (didn't see a single other person yesterday) so them saying they are full, I am not sure i believe that. The fracture clinic is mental on the other hand. 173 patients yesterday morning they said.

@paintfairy 173 is mental. And nope, my fertility doc is always completely clueless about waiting times. All she could say was that the pathway aims to be max 18 weeks. Doesn't tell me much though. Oh and then I've seen others on here (notyetamumbuttrying) who was told the wait for funding was 2-3 months and then the wait to start another however many months but I think she got approved in a month and got to start the following month? Apart from anything my doc said it would take 4 weeks for the paperwork to come through and there were here within a week so... can't trust a word they say lol.

I'm sure they won't tell me to use or lose it straight away but I'm sure likewise there's only a bit of leeway and not "can you wait 3 months pls".

@Juno231 I dunno- maybe ask how long you get once its approved? They should know that? With the iui they said i had a year. So if we wanted to try on our own (after the hsg) for a bit, we could. And I had 12 months to come back to request the iui. But I decided not to wait and we just cracked on. Good job i did too. 🙄🤣