🦕 Catching up - ttc after miscarriage part 4 🦕

[Annny27]

Hi everyone,

Setting up the new thread for us - we have come a long way since January and sadly a few of us are still on the "journey". Let's hope we arent here for much longer. Wishing us all baby dust (although its been so long I am not sure dust will do it for me - maybe will have to up the particle size to "baby sand" )

Ttc ladies:
@Fizzl
@Nuggetlover27
@ELM7
@Ljm0101
@Abi0795
@Babyghirl

And our recent bfps who i know like to check in :)
@Leok83
@scrumdiddly123
@SunnySideUp2020

@Annny27 🤞🏻 No Af for you this month. I am well and truly over testing I hate it and refuse to until late now

I’m ok Af done for another cycle. A little concerned I’m having night sweats again before my period I would have these a few night but these turn up 2nd day of my period and they are the worst they’ve been in years woke up soaking this morning. A little worried as Iv read it can be a sign of low egg count

afteenoon everyone :D feel a bit shit because I have had some slight brown tinged cm so i think AF will arrive in a few days. Even though I've been taken progesterone which is annoying!

@fizzl your symptoms and cramps sound really promissing if I am honest! Hopefully this is it for you:D I also have palpitations/ skipping beats and the doctors aren't worried about it but it definitely makes me anxious when its happening haha

@SunnySideUp2020 thank you 🥰 I was doing so well positivity and mood wise for the past few cycles but seeing spotting today has made my mood plummet:(

@Babyghirl let's hope October is a good month for you!!

@27DONFIN yep seeing a negative test is the absolute worst. Makes me so depressed :( it has been pretty hot the past few nights so hopefully its just that!

Oh @Annny27 I really hope AF isn’t on its way. Sorry you are feeling shit about it. We’ve said it before and will say it again this TTC malarkey is just such a head f*#k!

@Annny27 ah I'm sorry about the spotting starting 😔 I would say hopefully it's implantation bleeding but I think we just know when it's af starting and don't want to get any hopes up.

I'm not sure my symptoms have really meant anything. The back ache only lasted 1 day when we walked over 10miles and I had a backpack on so I'm fairly certain that's the culprit and nothing more exciting! I've not had back ache since and only some mild niggly cramps on and off which is usual in lead up to AF.

The skipped beats are really annoying me more than anything else! I suspect I've probably always had them and never noticed it's only now because I'm hyper aware of everything going off in my body 😂 but now I've noticed them I can't un-notice them and they seem to happen at least once a minute 🤨.

@27DONFIN welcome to the group 👋🏼 I've also been trying since jan 2019, some initial mistiming as I didn't realise I ovulated late, a couple of months break, one MMC in nov/dec and here I am still am slogging away 😩 in re to the night sweats I sometimes get them too! Not often but it's horrible when it happens! My husband has joked before that it's like I've wet the bed when the sheets are wet too 😳. I've not had them for a while actually but I just thought it was fairly normal hormone fluctuations which caused them if you only had them occasionally. If you get them a lot maybe mention to your gp - I think your thyroid can cause them too if that's a little off.

@Fizzl that’s exactly what’s it’s like. I started getting them maybe 4 years ago first when my period was due then more frequent I had some blood tests everything was clear doctors didn’t really investigate it further. They then went back to just when my period was due. I hadn’t realised till the last few days that il not had them in a while as I forgot how sweaty and wet I feel. Yeah Iv had my thyroid tested a few months after my miscarriage as I had a few symptoms needing checked out all ok they put it down to anxiety.

How are you finding it all emotionally/mentally? I’m not going to lie I find it a struggle. C

Good morning ladies hope yous all had a great weekend, and ready to start the week ahead my period is just around the corner expected tomara. Going to phone the fertility clinic today try to get them moving on getting to the nxt stage of what we going to do need to get r results and nxt course off action can go ahead. 💚💚

@Babyghirl if you don’t mind me asking. What have you done so far with the fertility clinic? Is this a private clinic? X

@27DONFIN
It's through the NHS after 2 miscarriages my doc referred me she did say they could send it right back to her because I have only had 2 losses, but thank god they took the referral I went in Feb had blood test and an internal scan done he had a seman test done was meant to get results for both in April may time but with everything going on we r still waiting. If your doc is understanding it up to them if they want to send a referral can't hurt but it's also up to the fertility clinic if they will accept the referral can't hurt to mention it to your doc to see what they say. 💚💚💚

Morning girls :) having slightly brown tinged cm again today. I wouldnt necessarily call it spotting but its ever so slightly brown tinged. 12dpo now and its officially the first time i have got to 12dpo without testing. A changed woman. Or more accurately a defeated woman 😭

@fizzl yeah i don't get the palpitations/ missed beats that regularly, but when I do I am very anxious about it so makes it worse probably!!

And more symptoms from you?

And totally has crossed my mind "oh maybe its implantation"......but in the 15 months I've been in this journey, its never been implantation haha!

@ELM7 thanks lovely! Its soo soo shit isnt it. Just want my baby in my arms 😭 I literally could have got pregnant, had the baby and been trying for my 2nd in the time its taken! Bit of a pity party today haha

@27DONFIN I go through months of bwing really quite positive! And then months of feeling absolutely shit. I have had the last few months of positivity so probs the next few months feeling like crap haha

@babyghirl when is AF due?

@Annny27
She is due tomara and on her way cramping today wish she would hurry up and show so I can start a new month lol 💚💚

Oh no @Annny27 I really hope it's not AF for you. I have everything crossed for you!xx

@Fizzl your TWW is sounding promising so hopefully this is your month!xx

@27DONFIN it really annoys me when they say 'it's stress and anxiety' - it's not particularly helpful sometimes. I get that my symptoms could be anxiety related but I'd rather they did some tests to rule out other things, especially when I don't feel particularly anxious. It's not knowing which came first, my symptoms which then cause me to feel anxious because I'm worrying about them, or anxiety causing the symptoms. I feel every time I go to the doctors about anything their go to response is 'stress and anxiety' - I feel like I'm labelled with it now so they just put everything down to that which is incredibly frustrating sometimes.

I'm not coping too bad at the minute. I have ups and downs. Sometimes I feel very chilled about it all (like now) and feel positive that it will happen again eventually. Then other days I'm an emotional wreck and just burst into tears and feel really negative and worried that it will just never happen for us again. I tend to struggle more at times when we get pregnancy or birth announcements as it just all feels so unfair and overwhelming. There was one particular week not that long after my MC where we received 2 pregnancy announcements from friends and my cousin gave birth. I was an emotional wreck that night. And it wasn't because I wasn't happy for them, I was it just felt so unfair and cruel for us. 3 of my friends are having/recently had babies this year and I should have been the first one due out of them. It's that constant reminder now of what I haven't got/should have and that I should be sharing this experience with them when we're still struggling to conceive. Anyway, that's a long way of saying I have good and bad days/weeks 😂 and I've accepted it's normal and my feelings are validated and I'm allowed to feel sad (and a bit jealous) sometimes, I just try to not let it consume me (too much).

@Annny27 ah that's so crap ☹️ I really hoped it wouldn't be the start of AF for you (and still hope it isn't). Getting to 12dpo is impressive though, I think this journey sucks all the fun and excitement out of doing pregnancy tests tho! And the disappointment if seeing a negative result just isn't worth it when you know it's not your month.

No other symptoms from me which aren't 'normal' pre-af. 10dpo today so if I get to tomorrow I think I will test as my period typically arrives around now. I rarely make it to 11dpo. I was convinced my period had started this morning. I went to the loo fully expecting to see her but nothing. It's usually a sign she is on her way tho. I'm also needing to pee a lot but again that isn't unusual for me when my period is about to show so 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don't think this is our month, I just don't feel it (whereas last month I secretly kept hoping it was) but we'll see.

@Leok83 Mother Nature is cruel with such similar symptoms! How are you doing?

Sorey girls, got a bit of a woe me post:
I just feel really depressed right now. Why does it take so long :( another month with no baby. It was our wedding anniversary and I so desperately wanted to give my husband those 2 pink lines for our anniversary! And I wanted to have another May/ June due date.

My husband just sent me a cute video of animals caring for their babies and I just burst into tears and got really angry that he would show me that. It sounds so silly but I dont want to see mums and their babies right now.

I am sick of having sex like literally its a chore right now.
I am sick of over analysing every bodily symptom
I am sick of calculating my make believe due dates and thinking oh maybe I'll be pregnant by X date.

My life feels so meaningless and I dont want to see any friends or family through fear of a pregnancy announcement or fear of questions. All the lockdown baby jokes dont help either. Gahhhh sorry girls just had a bit cry and needed to get it out

😭😭😭😭😭

@Annny27
Sorry your feeling like this is awful way to feel but I tots get where ur coming from I have days like that more days like this than good days tbh, taking these tablets is prop the best thing I decided to do they have me more relaxed about things I have got to the mind set it will happen when it happens we'll I have drilled that in to my head cause I was driving myself nuts otherways and was not good for me. Chin up girl we got this and we will have r rainbow babies pretty soon xxx

Morning ladies
Oh @Annny27 I'm so sorry you're feeling this way but know that you're not alone.
I feel the exact same. I thought when AF arrived for me last week that I was okay and I didn't even cry. Then the day after I completely broke down. Couldn't stop crying. I just can't understand why we can't have this?
I get upset and disheartened every time I see a baby, which I know is ridiculous but as we have all said, it's a reminder of what I don't have and what I could have had by now.
I'm sick of all the same things you are hun. You're not alone.

Do you ladies also find it hard when you see pregnant ladies complaining about being pregnant? Like I know that's insane and it's their choice and lots of women have it hard. But I find myself thinking "at least you can get pregnant. Stop complaining"

This journey is so so tough. We just have to try and have hope and be here for each other.

Sending love to you all this morning ❤️❤️

@nuggetlover27
I hate hearing people complain about being pregnant or up during the nite feeding or everyday mother hood stuff, I feel like saying what u complaining about try being in my shoes and I will get in to yours 😠😠😠😠😠.

Hey ladies, sorry I’ve been AWOL, I somehow managed to completely lose this thread and for the life of me couldn’t find it anywhere!
Anyway today it seems to have magically appeared so I’m going to catch up now!
@Annny27 so sorry you’re having a down day, it’s so rubbish that you’re still waiting 🙁
I hope everyone else is ok and keeping everything crossed for more BFPs here soon!
@Fizzl fingers crossed for you! Will you test or wait for AF?

Thanks ladies! I think I oftern have half a day of a depressive episode when I know AF is coming. This baby is so wanted 💗💗 hope they arrive in my arms soon

We had sex everyday this month and didn't work so honestly dont bother with it girls 😂😂

@Nuggetlover27 I feel like a bitch when I think that but I am sure when I am pregnant or tired with a newborn I'll be complaining too haha 😂 I am glad we all have eachother to wander through this lonely journey

@scrumdiddly123 thanks lovely! I feel better after a bit cry haha. Whens your next scan?

@babyghirl yes I have put my positive mindset head back on

P.s this sounds really silly but to protect my heart, if I am going anywhere and meeting friends and family I prepare that they will announce their pregnancy, even if they are single haha. I'd rather just be mentally prepared so I can fake the excitement and n9t burst into tears like i want to!

@Annny27 bless you, I always feel better after a big cry too! Got everything crossed that you get your baby soon 💜
My 12 week scan is on 1st October so a couple more weeks to wait 🤞🏻 the last few weeks seem to have whizzed by, I think since my sickness has started to ease it’s been a lot easier!

@Annny27 I have been having sex everyday to and it has nt worked for me either 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 how hard can it be for sperm to meet the egg like its there job, if I did nt do my job right I would be sacked 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 all joking aside think I will cut down on sex this month c if it helps.

@Annny27 I’m so sorry that you are having a down day but at least you know this is a safe space where we all completely understand and think the same.
Yesterday was a year since I got my BFP and even after the MC I never thought that a year later there would still be no sign of my rainbow. I’m 38 tomorrow and am getting to the point where I just think I’m too old and it will never happen.

@Annny27 I'm so sorry you are having such a crappy day. I remember it being so tough when you've bigged up a time to get a BFP and it's just another unsuccessful cycle. Big hugs💕

@Fizzl I'm good thanks! Hitting the second trimester this week at last🎉 it's been slow but having lots of scans has helped a lot! I really hope it's good news for you tomorrow!!xx

@ELM7
We r both nearly the same age I'm 37 2 losses and been trying a year nw after 2nd loss I think the same as u that it will never happen but I'm telling myself lately that we will get r rainbow babies soon.

@Annny27 awww I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. Hate that feeling. I totally understand wanting to avoid people when you are feeling emotionally about it all you’re right it is totally to protect yourself.

Today I spoke to a customer at work with a 12 week old baby girl strapped to her front. She proceeded to tell me that she was a “ surprise” that she had 3 boys already two of which are 13 months of a difference who are now 10 and 9. I surprised myself at how ok I was with the convo but if it been Thursday Friday last week I‘ honestly think I’d of burst out crying in her face. It does get me sometimes who are their so many “surprises” when we can’t even have one on purpose

Everyones so kind and supportive 💗💗

@ELM7 awwh thats hard! It will be a year since my bfp next week as well. Such a roller coaster of a year since that moment!! My friend in work had both her babies after 40 so you are definitely not too old :) plus I am 28 and having the same struggle time wise as you so age means nothing haha!

@scrumdiddly123 glad that you are feeling less sick! I remember gagging all day everyday when I was pregnant haha

@Babyghirl iactyally can't remember what a normal sex life was like haha! Every month there's a new "plan" for dtd haha

@27DONFIN thanks lovely! Thats a positive e mental health day for you then if you got through that conversation:) I cant even fathom just a one night stand and then getting pregnant haha. Or surprises or first month conceptions