TTC 35+ Thread 4 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

[Sleeeeeepy]

Yes it's Thread FOUR! Baby dust all round!

@LT103 phew good to know! Will keep testing then! 😃 Totally relate re: the wines! We've got some posh meals coming up, but a BFP would make them extra amazing! 😍🤞🏻

I got my peak opk yesterday but no obvious signs of ovulating yet. (Also 2 days later than normal)

I’m so sorry for your loss @ShouldEyeShouldntEye - this group is amazingly supportive.
Hope everyone had a restful weekend. I was worried about my results today. So...here they are!
Day 3 results:
FSH - 7.4, LH 4.7, oestradiol 251. My previous day 3 internet test was: FSH 6.52, LH 6.39, oestradiol 255. The other test I had done 5 years ago was FSH 2.4, LH 8.0 and oestradiol 463, but looking back I see it was done on day 23 rather than day3.
Does anyone know what this all means? @CC81 I know you’re an expert on FSH? The doctor just quickly said all the figures and said the results are normal but I don’t know if there’s anything else I should glean from this? That’s all my NHS tests done now so just waiting for DPs SA now.
I’m on CD7 today so getting into the FW. We’re quite exhausted this month but still hoping to have a good effort!

AF is due in 7 days, just been the loo and had some red staining in the toilet paper so think I'm out this month!

@SnowWhite1985 - That's great news - all looks normal to me

I'm no expert!!! Just done a lot of recent obsessing over FSH Mine is higher than it should be (but all other results normal so far).

Had my first acupuncture apt this morning, along with massage, reflexology and consultation with a Chinese doctor. Very interesting!

Will definitely continue with the treatments each week. Undecided on the herbs etc...

Oooh all your treatments sound interesting @CC81! It can’t do any harm and hopefully it does some good! I personally found acupuncture amazing for my back issues but haven’t tried any of those other alternative therapies. If it works for you we’ll all be turning to the Chinese medicine! Fingers crossed xx

Thanks for your advice on the FSH. I’m very glad it was in normal range - such a relief. I was just a bit worried that the FSH has gone up from 6.5 to 7.4 in the space of 6 months or so - I hope it doesn’t mean a rapid decline in ovarian reserves. But I think the number is still good and maybe it also fluctuates a bit month to month. The doctor seemed happy anyway. I think I’m going to get another AMH test as that was the only red flag in all my tests.
The nurse also did say I could get the tube dye thing - she said this is unscientific but that some people believe it “flushes things out”. I don’t know anything about it though so will have to read a bit more before I decide.
My DP is now really worried there’s going to be a problem with his SA. Now I’ve had lots of tests and got the results he thinks that’s ruled out a problem with me so it must be a problem with him. I think we’ll have to put off the SA test until after our FW this month as we’re entering it just now (CD7 but I usually ovulate around CD10/11) and the test says you have to abstain for at least 2 days before providing the sample - don’t want to lose 2 precious days!

Partner had a missed call from the doctors today, when he rang back, it was for his SA results. The doctor is going to ring him in the morning 😟

@claireb707 hope the results are all ok 🤞

Good luck with the results @claireb707 - it’s so stressful waiting on them xx

Good luck @claireb707 x

Slightly odd question here- has anyone done a opk test instead of a pregnancy test and it be positive before AF is due and found they were pregnant?!

Good luck @claireb707 🤞🏻 xx

A belated welcome @ShouldEyeShouldntEye, so sorry for your loss.

@LT103 - completely relate on the wine!

Great stuff on your results @SnowWhite1985 and good luck to you and DH @claireb707.

8DPO here and as ever, zero symptoms here... unsurprising given our minimal efforts this month. I’ve got planning DH’s socially distanced birthday party this weekend to distract me though :)

He's just rang 😢 good motility but very low count. He's been told to book in for testosterone bloods and we'll see what we can do after that. But it's very very unlikely we'll conceive naturally 😢😢

@claireb707 - Sorry to hear your news. I felt similarly rubbish after my high FSH result. It's important to remember that it's just one test result and doesn't reveal the entire picture. You now know what you're dealing with, so you can seek to tackle it. xxx

@SnowWhite1985 - Re: FSH rising fast - I was worried about this too, but apparently it can go up OR down quite wildly (which is partly why AMH is considered a better measure).

I was discussing fertility treatments with a woman on another thread (as she's had lots of tests) - she said that four years ago her FSH was 14, but recently it was tested at 10.

But it's still a very good sign to have anything below 10 :) The bottom line is that we all have ageing eggs - and a high FSH (or low AMH) indicates that the reserve is low; and therefore there may be fewer 'good quality' eggs left. BUT we only need one good one to create a baby. As I've said, my FSH might have been high three years ago when I had my first child. We'll never know.

We have a similar quandary for SA timing! I'm due to have my AMH/AFC tests next week - and ideally submit my husband's sample at the same appointment. But I got a positive OPK this morning (day 14) and the clinic prefers an abstention period of 3-5 days - so it'll be tight. May delay it until the following week, when I should have AF!!!

I'm really scared about my AMH results (which we won't get until 22 September). It'll probably be the line in the sand about how we proceed.

[quote CC81]@SnowWhite1985 - Re: FSH rising fast - I was worried about this too, but apparently it can go up OR down quite wildly (which is partly why AMH is considered a better measure).

I was discussing fertility treatments with a woman on another thread (as she's had lots of tests) - she said that four years ago her FSH was 14, but recently it was tested at 10.

But it's still a very good sign to have anything below 10 :) The bottom line is that we all have ageing eggs - and a high FSH (or low AMH) indicates that the reserve is low; and therefore there may be fewer 'good quality' eggs left. BUT we only need one good one to create a baby. As I've said, my FSH might have been high three years ago when I had my first child. We'll never know.

We have a similar quandary for SA timing! I'm due to have my AMH/AFC tests next week - and ideally submit my husband's sample at the same appointment. But I got a positive OPK this morning (day 14) and the clinic prefers an abstention period of 3-5 days - so it'll be tight. May delay it until the following week, when I should have AF!!!

I'm really scared about my AMH results (which we won't get until 22 September). It'll probably be the line in the sand about how we proceed.[/quote]
We were told abstain for 48 hours before SA as we had the same problem last month

@CurlyNo2

AF is due in 7 days, just been the loo and had some red staining in the toilet paper so think I'm out this month!

I had this the month I conceived my little one, so 🤞🤞

@claireb707

He's just rang 😢 good motility but very low count. He's been told to book in for testosterone bloods and we'll see what we can do after that. But it's very very unlikely we'll conceive naturally 😢😢

Sorry to hear that, hopefully that means something can be done now though. Were still waiting for my OHs results and its been 2 weeks 😳

Can't believe I've started with a COLD (first one this year!) on the same day as a positive OPK. Fun times

Hope it doesn't delay ovulation! That's happened previously due to stress (I think). Not actually feeling stressed today... just a bit ill. Bloody annoying!

Ah well, at least it doesn't appear to be CV19. That would probably get in the way of DTD for the next few nights...

@claireb707 I’m so sorry to hear this. But as @CC81 says, it’s only one test and at least you know what you’re dealing with now. Good that there’s some more tests organised too. Hugs xx

@CC81 yeah it’s interesting to know the results can fluctuate so much. Good luck with your AMH and AFC tests next week. I’m probably going to go for that too. I have one more home AMH test I ordered a while back which I’m going to send off in a day or two but think it’s worth booking a proper one as well! And I’d like to get the AFC too. Just to get the full picture. We’re going to put off DPs SA until the FW is past. Hopefully we don’t have to wait too long for results. We’re on CD8 atm so will probably be another couple of weeks at least before we know the results.

You’re so right about the one good egg thing though. And I’m sure it must be a good sign that you already have one child. Perhaps it just takes a bit longer for us! Everything has to align! I think I’m slowly becoming better at being more patient. I feel more relaxed this cycle, but strangely that’s meant that my DP is really on edge and super stressed. Perhaps because his tests are the missing link atm.

At least you’ll know the full picture once you get the AMH/AFC tests, scary as it is. Keeping everything crossed for you xx

AF has arrived, it would have been CD22 or 10dpo. Being me I had been POAS and lots of BFNs incl on a FRER this morning but it does seem really short even for my cycles. I'm not sure whether it might make it harder to get pregnant?

Sending hugs @claireb707 It must be a lot to process x

I’m so sorry @Sleeeeeepy. I don’t know about the short cycles. Mine are sometimes quite short too (like 24 days) but I think that’s because I tend to ovulate quite early, like day 10 or so, so perhaps a bit different to you when the luteal phase is maybe shorter. Sending hugs - it’s always horrible when AF comes 😭

As for me, we’ve missed the first two days of my fertile window. I actually want to cry and probably will. DP says he’s struggling to cope and is too exhausted with work. He’s massively gone into his shell and is barely talking to me or even looking at me so I think this entire FW will be a write-off. I’m so upset as I’ve really been putting his needs first throughout all this and making sure he doesn’t feel inadequate and that I don’t put pressure on or anything. I’ve had virtually no emotional support through all my tests. Now as soon as he’s knows it’s my FW he’s suddenly depressed. It almost feels like he’s disappointed my results came out fine. I think it’s fear that he’s the problem tbh - he’s procrastinated getting the SA for ages and now I have all my tests back so he thinks that’s ruled out that I have any issues (which it doesn’t necessarily). Now I don’t know if he will get the SA at all, he was supposed to phone the clinic but he hasn’t done it yet.
I just feel like it’s such a narrow window every month and it’s heartbreaking to miss it. Trying to do my best to support him but he’s just gone completely quiet.

Thanks @SnowWhite1985 AF's a witch alright.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time getting DP on board. It must be so frustrating when he won't do his part. I think men get totally tied up with sperm somehow being a reflection of their manhood. It would be easier if they would talk to each other and realise how random all this stuff is, some sort of blokesnet. Sending hugs xx

Thanks @Sleeeeeepy, yeah I honestly hesitated to even suggest he get SA because I thought even the thought of getting tested would impact his performance. I know I should be empathetic, but after getting multiple blood tests, smear test, ultrasound and possibly going for more invasive tests I have to admit I’m (inwardly) struggling to be empathetic about the stress of handing over a pot of sperm. I’m quite exhausted always being the strong one and having to support him emotionally through things that objectively aren’t as bad as what I have to go through. He also got upset at me tonight because I couldn’t tell him in advance exactly which day ovulation would be. I’m also losing patience with him saying he’s stressed out at work and has to prioritise that. I put in more hours at work than he does yet everything I do is suddenly irrelevant. I think you’re right it’s a manhood issue even though he claims not to subscribe to all that masculinity stuff! I’m just really frustrated that I’m supposed to be superhuman and cope with everything and support him. God help us if he does get the SA and it comes back bad - I fear we’ll never DTD again....
Sorry for the rant. I’m trying SO hard not to get in a big argument that results in us missing the entire FW. He’s been acting strange for a few days, especially when I got my results. I just feel like every chance is so precious and window is so small each cycle. The thing I find most difficult to cope with is missed opportunities and more wasted time. I’ve tried really hard to get past the resentment I feel about him making us wait to ttc years after I wanted to. I’d been feeling more relaxed and less stressed this cycle now my stress levels are through the roof - great..
Blokesnet lol you should totally trademark that 👍🤣