Oreo 🍫 , 🍷 , puffy sex & BFPs by snaccident #dirtydozen

[SmileyT]

Have you seen our guide to getting pregnant?🤣

1. Lots of sex (every other day to catch) or SMEP or just Banging OH to death seems to work for some - For the same sex couples out there; Insemination using a cup (easily available on Amazon) Bum up after the goods are deposited... don’t leave it in the cup for ages before you put it in ✌🏾

1. Relaxing & lots of patience

1. Prenatal vitamins e.g Pregnacare, COQ10, Primrose oil, B6, B12, Calc Flour, Folic acid/Folate, Magnesium, Vit C (will have to do your research on amounts/when to take these)

1. Conceive plus/preseed - if you haven’t had enough assfruit juice and you aren’t moister than an 🦪 💦

1. Seed cycling - make sure you ground them up

1. Grapefruit juice (ass juice) for EWCM - CM should be stretchy sometimes hard to tell the difference between cum if you get loads of action.

7.OPKS/CB Digital ovulation kits 😂 A lot of us seem to like fermometer to record the OPK peaks

1. It will happen when it's meant to but not necessarily the month you want it to 😩

9.Wine, pizza, oreo choc and pouffe sex

10.Relax, dont be stressed, take bbt, dont take bbt, dont obsess, obsess, exercise, don't exercise too much, loose weight, don't loose too much weight, eat healthy, don't let it consume you and eat what you want apart from too much alcohol, caffeine, cigs obvs

11.PMS/ early pregnancy symptoms are the same and the progesterone likes to trick you.

And most of all it isn’t your fault, blame corona for all BFN

@dkdk123 so sorry to hear about hubby's gran hope you are both doing well

Like they say it only takes one and if you think it's unlikely it may just be the month, so praying you get some good news 🤞🏽

I feel like I'm out already 😩 and want to turn to comfort chocolate- I'm getting all the usual PMS AF signs 🙄☹️ and no preg signs wahhhhhhh 😭😭 better to be disappointed than hold out lingering hope x

@Clolo it's never really too early for wine, why not cook something slow cooking for tonight like a stew which has wine in it...the cook always has to test it's not gone off right?? Shit I'm giving away my secrets 🤪I put a picture up end of March of "toddler in lockdown driven me to wine at 9am" when I was cooking of a stew with a bottle next to it & got comments of don't blame you, little did ppl realise I actually was still pregnant at that pint but heading to a miscarriage & knew it so was sorely tempted 🤨

Unfortunately the NHS say 2 years yes but having been through IVF (& about to start again) I think that's very reasonable £400 for the tests. My AMH is off the scale low but with IVF was working & had worked for us in a weird way if you read up the thread.

@Blodyn91 my steak & tea buddy yasssssss

@2alreadywamtanother I totally read your comment as "love a good porn series" & was thing a porn series?! What?? Now I get you! Steak well done though?? There's a french restaurant near me where if you order steak well done they bring it to you and say "one steak...burnt" in a funny french accent it's hilarious. To me. Kinda have to be there I guess 🤪

Hey @ruroo welcome!! Don't worry POAS addiction is real!

@DKDK123 sorry darling, but hey I wanted in on the "look at my test" action, but it's good really, means can get the tablets and move on. YOU GUYS WAIT TIL I'm telling you all about the pessaries I'm sticking up my bum 3 times a night, then you'll be glad I'm here!!

@lucyrp oh definitely!! I found it so daunting coming on here and saying my age, I don't even know why but I felt people would judge me for being young!! Turns out I picked the best group to come into and I've not felt judged at all!!

Welcome all new comers, I hope we give you a few laughs and never thing that anything's too much info on here, share the lot!!

Lots to catch up on!!
Steak- medium rare
Bum sex- when I'm drunk
Porn- sometimes we watch it but only a few times in the whole time we've been together, cannot believe I'm going to admit this but last summer we both got steaming at a wedding, came home, then during the most amazing sex OH suggested we video it, obviously we did and obviously cringed mega the next day, but kept a few screenshots and I like to send them to OH about once every few weeks to turn him on at work😂😂

@TheDaydreamBelievers yeah I’m sure it does!! Which is good I don’t need to lay there for ages!! Hahaha entertainment for your OH!

So my SIL had the quickest conception, the easiest pregnancy, went in at 630am today, gave birth by 2pm 😂 why have we all not got it so easy 😂 you just got to laugh when you want to cry!! Ok rant over!

@Vil10 I know I felt exactly the same I was so scared to say how old I was incase i got poo pooed😂😂 definitely the best group on mumsnet! I'm sure other threads don't discuss bum sex 😂 omg me and OH have also filmed a couple of videos together years ago and I like to annoy him when he's at work and I'm not and be like guess what I'm watching 😏😂😂

@lucyrp same!! I was scared people were going to be like "oh you're still young you've got your whole life ahead of you" but I feel like I've done everything I want to do, I've done the girls holidays, the festivals, the going out the parties, now I want a baby😂 hahaha they definitely don't, the reason I came to this thread was because of the title at the time😂 hahaha omg I'm glad it's not just me!!

@Mococo1 thanks. I’m crossing my fingers 🤞 if I get another possible faint line on an IC tomorrow I may just go buy some more FRERs. Ahh what symptoms have you got? When is AF due for you?

@Noggiepie92 thanks! 🤞

@blodyn91 that looks delicious!! I’m really fancying some nice cake!!!

@Vil10 I'm the same! I haven't even done festivals
Or girls holidays yet and my friends hen do is at some point but not worried when as she's having a baby now soon too 🥰nope not just you don't worry! 😂

@Minster2012 I really need to.
proof read before posting 😂 I'm a disaster for it

@vil10 love it. Not the same level, but yes. Sending pictures to DH at work works wonders 🙈 or texting when out of shower telling him I'm naked and soaking wet 💦💦

@lucyrp, exactly if you're not bothered and you're ready to have a child it's nobody else's business is it!

@2alreadywantanother hahaha love that!

[quote Vil10]@lucyrp, exactly if you're not bothered and you're ready to have a child it's nobody else's business is it!

@2alreadywantanother hahaha love that![/quote]
Totally agree with you! Do what’s best for you 😊 I’ll be 28 next month and my partner is 30, but we’ve felt “ready” since I was about 23/24. At the time, I felt that people would judge me for being a young mum and felt that I should just focus on my career. 4 years on, I’ve realised that I’ve focused too much time on a career that I don’t particularly enjoy and just wish that we’d thought “fuck it” and tried for baby back then!

@mumof23188 I think AF is due on the 21st if im on a normal cycle!

AF Symptoms: Tender breasts (not nips) outbreaks ☹️ and craving chocolate!

I'm not sure tho as last cycle ended in a EMC/CO and with my previous MC(I was further along) it took 6 weeks for my period to return so they say expect anything from 4-6weeks after but I felt like I was PMSing for like a good month was not fun 😫

I did get a peak on OPKS around the time I thought I would ovulated so going with that 🥰, but we all know after @lucyrp period went missing its not always always the case...if mine goes too guess il be joining the back of bus with the cool kids 😎

@vil10 age is just a number, I'm out here being told I'm too old at 29 🤣 but it's also annoying as I feel you would get dismissed when you're bit younger due to 'having more time' if you are mentally ready then don't worry about what anyone will say! Xxx

@Eloise27 @Vil10 My OH and I actually got pregnant back in 2016 but had only been together a year or so if that although we had known each other 4 years previous too but my mum really did not like him and I felt pressured into doing what she wanted as she had gone through a bad divorce with my dad and didn't want to upset her anymore as it made her very ill and we had a termination but I feel like it wasn't my choice and wish to god we hadn't but it wasn't the right time then! Now we have a house together and everything else sorted and I feel so ready so I'm glad I stopped contraception when I did and didn't stay on it longer because look how long it could take !

@Eloise27 at least you've had that time to do as you please and you're ready now and you're in this amazing, yet very annoying and stressful journey with us!

@Mococo1 whaaat 29 is not too old at all! You ignore whoever says that😂 exactly! We have our home together and good jobs both done holidays and everything else and now we're ready!xx

@lucyrp that's so sad that you didn't feel like it was your choice but everything happens for a reason and I'm sure it'll be your month soon!!x

Am I the oldest here TTC my first, at 32? I know a few of you might be older but I think any of you who are already have at least one? We waited until we had careers sorted, were married and felt ready which unfortunately ended up being when I was 31. I do think I've left it a bit late now to have more than one baby as I've realised this isn't a quick process and it might take years as I've been trying since January already.

For anyone tracking test dates for the buses, AF hit me today so my next test/AF will be on August 9th. Don't even have any painkillers or chocolate in so this is me today...

@2020mission I'm close to you, I'm 30 and trying for our first ☺️ I never really had any plan on age for a baby, but I've been pretty career focused since leaving uni and now we're married it just felt like the right time. You're definitely not too old to try for more than one, some people take a while to conceive their first but conceive their second super quick 🥰 plus lots of people don't even try until they're in their 30s ☺️ x

I've had a good little laugh catching up on messages! All the talk of porn has got me thinking.. 🧐 might add some in tonight 😂

@lucyrp @Vil10 I think you are both lucky to find a man you want a baby with at a young age. In my early twenties I was with a complete twa*. He took another girl home to his parents after about 6 months of dating and I should have finished it then, but I lost my grandad and turned to him for comfort. I was with him for another 2 years, then in the summer he came to visit me, went back home, skyped me that night with a few friends who we had been to Thailand with, then had a threesome with them that night (2 guys, 1 girl version- the girl was his mates little sister). Finally got the courage to finish that relationship, and so bloody lucky to have now found my now fiance.

@2020mission definitely not old, in m 29 but still planning on having 3 or 4 if I can 😂 (lets just make one first though)

@TheDaydreamBelievers ahh the wet patch... Always end up on my side too! I just get whatever top I've been wearing and put that over it for when I sleep 🤣

@2020mission I'm 32 and TTC 1st too so snap! Didn't meet my partner til 28 then got married and bought a house first. He's 37 and I think he's only recently become emotionally ready!

@2020mission I'm trying for my 2nd now at 36 but was 33 with my first, took hs just under a year to fall pregnant with him. I dont regret holding off to have him later in life as I had a chance to do all I wanted to do and then got settled in my career but definitely wishing I'd started trying sooner for number 2 as I forgot how lengthy a process it can be!

@2020mission I’m 31 TTC my first. I also wanted to focus on my career and get to a high up enough position before I even thought about kids. We aren’t even married yet. You haven’t left it too late at all. There’s so much pressure to do things at a certain time and in a certain order and it’s all rubbish! Throw that rule book out the window. People will always judge, you’re either too young or too old in some peoples eyes, so just focus on what’s best for you and be kind to yourself now with that damn AF here

I'm also 31 TTC first. Focus for us both has been career, travel and house for years that I only now feel ready. I'd be the first from my close friends who are all similarly focussed so I dont really ever get the message of "you're too old". Its just annoying that now I've made the decision you cant just snap your fingers and make it happen!

Weird question...I've never taken a test before. I have frers and they say to pee on the stick or pee in a pot and dip. What's the combined wisdom of this group for which option (if either) is better? I feel like i would get a wee-y hand trying to POAS!?

@lucyrp that's awful. God love u.

I'm 40 in sept and have 2. 9(girl) and 11(boy). So if it doesn't happen I'm okay with that. Because I have these 2. I cherish what I have and believe what's for you wont pass you. But if I didnt at least try I'd regret it.
So lucky I've a DH that's so supportive too

@LBee2020 I know what you mean about now that you feel ready you want it to happen NOW! So so frustrating! I don’t have too much experience but I’ve always just POAS, never gotten a wee-y hand, just a few droplets on the stick which I wiped away with tissue. Do most people dip in a cup? I feel like I’d get more of a wee-y hand that way ahahah!