TTC after MC - June/July 2020 (Part 4)

[VP91x]

Hey lovelies ❤️

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@Northernsoul90

I'm on CD25 AF due 2nd July, potentially no ovulation this month or my body just refuses to budge on temp 😩

If anyone else would like to join please do xx

@HE88 same! I wouldn't notice it as much when I go for a wee. I've always wondered what people mean when they say they have a lot of it-they go for a wee and it's like hey there 😃 or just when they poo 🙈

@MichT4 and @Eli2020 ah this makes me feel better that you have noticed it too lol I honestly thought I was just a weirdo. Xx

Hi everyone, sorry to be a downer but I just wanted to write to let my feelings out I suppose. I’ve been fine all week, probably the best in terms of my mood since I had my mc. Today I just feel a bit hopeless, like I’m never going to be a mum. I don’t know why I feel like this today nothing has happened or changed. I get intrusive thoughts that just seen to escalate like what if I get pregnant and miscarry again, what if I can’t conceive etc etc. I’m just having an off day and will most likely feel okay tomorrow but I know you ladies will understand. I had a blighted ovum and I’ve got this nagging thought in my mind about it... I feel as though there must be something wrong with our sperm or egg quality for that to happen even though I’ve been assured by the doctor that they are common and most women will go on to have healthy pregnancies. It just seems like a really strange thing to happen and apparently it’s because of a lack of genetic material which doesn’t sound good to me at all. I keep thinking about getting pregnant and it happening again. Sorry for the ramble and for bringing the mood down I just find it more difficult to vent to people who don’t have any understanding of mc xx

@HE88 without being too vulgar it's probably not a case of it not being there but to get to your cervix around fertile time you'd have to get your fingers a good few inches inside you to read your cervix so apart from after a poo cervical mucus is probably just way too high for you to get on the loo. I once didn't notice much and shoved my finger so deep and pulled out a load of EWCM I'd never noticed before. Hope that makes sense it did in my head 🙈

@VP91x yeah very productive work day actually, came home and watched inside out and then OH just got home and made me dinner 🥰 how was your day? Little lady have a good one? Attached a pic of my opk today thinking maybe I ovulated later if temps now stay high x

@HE88 I have the same thing! It’s really weird but yeah I barely notice when I pee just when I poo! 🙈

@chloedancer897 sorry that you’ve had a shitty time with oh. It’s so frustrating I know it can put added pressure on them but I always think I’m the one doing most/all of the work in ttc they only have to get the pleasurable part. At least he has apologised though! Hope you’ve made up. I once had a complete breakdown because DH didn’t want to dtd and I’d had my peak. I went slightly loopy and felt silly afterwards but I don’t think they understand the urgency! Xx

@SmileyT what your saying makes total sense 😀. Xx

@Northernsoul90 sorry to hear you are having a rough day, I've certainly been there with my rough days and good days it's normal. Xx

@Northernsoul90 please don't feel like you're being a downer, we all go through stages of feeling like shit and that it's never going to happen to us. I cry to OH at least one a month about the fact I think I'm infertile and that there is something seriously wrong with me, him or us together. Sorry not making this about me but just saying that I understand where you are coming from. And you are right this feeling won't last, this ttc lark is a rollercoaster but just remember it will happen for you I have faith in that ❤️❤️

@HE88 @Eli2020 @MichT4 haha yeah sometimes its just there when I wipe after I pee, but definitely more if I've done a poo. Most of the time I just check it myself anyway see what's going on up there 😂😂

@Northernsoul90 it is so so normal to feel how you are and I think all of us never thought we would. Spend our months wondering if we have become infertile or what if something is wrong. But, you will be a mum one day it is just so shit that you are going through this right now. Let yourself cry and feel all the sadness and know that each cycle you are doing all the things to try and get pregnant and that is all we can do. Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️

@SmileyT ooh yeah you are probably right then!! How many DPO will you be now if you ovu later 3/4? That sounds like a good day!! Anything nice for dinner? Yeah day was good, got less done than I thought. Tbh I've just felt lonely since LO has gone back to nursery. I cried when she got home because she was so happy drinking her tea and eating her cupcake 😂 honestly I'm such a sap sometimes.

Just sat watching Sons Of Anarchy now xx

Thank you both @HE88 and @SmileyT ❤️

I think sometimes just writing it down and putting it out there makes you feel a bit better. It really is a rollercoaster @SmileyT I know I will likely feel fine in the morning, it’s just one of those days. It’s actually nice to hear that others feel the same, even though I wouldn’t want anyone to feel down at least we know we aren’t alone. It doesn’t help that I’m a hypochondriac and convince myself of a different issue every other week 🙈 xx

Thank you @VP91x ❤️❤️ It’s nice having this space to share our ups and downs and support one another. It really does help xxx

@Northernsoul90 it really is such a safe space to talk and discuss everything. I really hope you feel better soon though, its tough going through those days where you just don't see the end result you want happening, but it really will happen ❤️❤️

@Northernsoul90 I've certainly been where you were today. It comes out of nowhere and makes you feel like absolute shit. We just need to trust in our bodies, we've been pregnant before - we can get pregnant again. And as much as I hate the thought of AF arriving, I'm trying to prepare myself by thinking it's my body doing what it needs to and functioning correctly. I really hope you feel better x

@VP91x sons of anarchy ❤️❤️ We are on the very last episodes we have been watching it for months, I heard mayans is a good watch may start that next xx

@Northernsoul90 I could've written what you said myself, I feel like this all the time. You are not alone, we all see you and support you. Sending love 💕

@Tink20058 sooo bloody (literally) good isn't it!! I've seen it all before but my partner hasn't so just almost at the end of Season 2 again.

Opie is such a hottie, 😍😍😍

How are you x

@VP91x I'm just going with 5dpo as that's what most of my apps are saying with AF due next Friday or Saturday but we'll see. Chicken, rice and veg for dinner, basic but great 👌🏾 ahh you are definitely not a sap, when you get back to work it'll probably be a nice balance of loads of mummy time but also you get your own time. Plus you'll have a newborn next year to keep you occupied I'm sure x

@VP91x I’m really good thanks looking forward to my next scan tomorrow to put my mind at ease, I secretly have a massive crush on the Scot with the scars 🤣🤣🤣 xxx

@SmileyT 5 dpo too ☺️ fingers crossed for both of us it's our month 🙏Do you have any symptoms at all? In the previous 3 cycles (after my MC in March) I always had really sore boobs straight after ovulation and up until period. However now they hurt but just a bit (not as intense as the last cycles) so not sure why that is-and makes me sad 🙁 I just want them to talk to me and give me some symptoms 😔

@SmileyT oh fab, you normally test around 12dpo dont you? So only a week to go! Sounds lovely. I know yeah, she will be going full-time when I go back so we will all be in a nice routine. Work will hate me if I go in already pregnant if I get lucky this month 😂 oh well! Xx

Thank you ladies @Dbop100 @mrsssk 💕💕

@Northernsoul90 we’ve all been there for sure. You can always talk here, it’s what we are here for!

@VP91x you aren’t a sap, you donut!! You’re a good Mummy and you miss your little lady. Like @SmileyT said, you’ll soon be back at work and PG which will distract you.

@smileyT when do you think you’ll test? Are you an early tester? xx

@Tink20058 ah amazing!! I hope it all goes well, enjoy seeing your little bean cooking away! Haha, he is such a good character.

@MichT4 my partner looked at me like I was crazy. Yeah definitely 🥰🥰 did you have a nice evening? Xx

@VP91x I did. Was needed with the timing - anything to make the time go quicker. Ready for bed now though! 😂

@Tink20058 good luck tomorrow! Send us the pics if you get them xx

Good luck for tomorrow @Tink20058 ☺️ Xx