TTC Thread #2

[Daffodil21]

Continuing the original thread:

First time TTC - help please!! Any one else TTC for their first time? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3914013-first-time-ttc-help-please-any-one-else-ttc-for-their-first-time

Tagging those in my tag list - sorry if I've left anyone out or tagged people who don't want to be tagged!

@AlisonLew15 @Bam27 @CEW19 @Dreaming101 @HJen22 @LennyAndToots @M4v3r1ck @Mrskcam @Rocky89 @SVC11
@TerryRose

And of course, our graduates:
@Peach1204 @Poppyismyfavourite @Summertime1992 I'm sure everyone here would love to hear how you're getting on!

AF is here. I'm out again. Onto cycle 5. Feel like I'm losing hope

So I've just been to the loo and wiped some really watery pinky coloured blood... I would say I know that's TMI to anyone but you lot 😂 Nothing in the toilet and not like my usual start of a period (which would be much thicker, darker and appear in the toilet, not just when I wipe) which in any case would be way early, even for me - I average 26 day cycles and today is cd21. I wonder if it could be the start though bearing in mind I had a chemical last month so my cycle might be out... And I'm just counting cd1 as the first day of the bleed 🤷🏼‍♀️ my tummy to the right of my belly button has had a dull ache all afternoon but I'd say its too high for period pain,but is otherwise relatively similar in the fact its quite annoying! According to my app I'm 8dpo but I have no idea how accurate it is... Or isn't 😂 so this could be me on the way out this month! I have calculated we've got two more attempts before we'll need a break though so I guess not all is lost!

@Welliedays if you're truly 8dpo (apps are not always accurate) then it could very well be an implantation bleed!

@acaciabluebell @Welliedays I had the exact same as this 9dpo last month and the month before. It turned into a few days of spotting then AF. I really really hope that's not the case for you, but I had utterly convinced myself the month before last - it's all that comes up if you google, then I was even more disappointment when AF showed.

Not trying to be negative, just mentioning so you don't get your hopes up tooo much! But fingers crossed it's implantation!!!!

@acaciabluebell yep, I totally get they aren't 100% accurate so I can't be sure! It is always pretty good on my AF prediction, but then I have built up about 2 years of period tracking on it...nur I know that doesn't equate to accurate ov date as I don't know what my luteal phase is!! And thank you @daffodil21, after last months chemical I'm not getting any hopes up!! It's not usual AF for me as I never normally get spotting beforehand, I'd get a bit less as an early warning system, but within and hour or two it would be fully, very heavy flow... but that said, after my chemical any thing is possible!

@Welliedays how did you find out it was a chemical? Is there a way to tell?

@bramleyapples13 not officially as such unless you're far enough on that the early pregnancy unit will see you... But I got two BFP on the day my period was due and the day after.. And then the day after that I started bleeding, totally differently to a normal period and then I got a negative test after that and again a week later (EPU told me when I should retest). The EPU said it was almost certain that I'd had a chemical pregnancy but unless you're at least 6 weeks pregnant they don't see you as they can't detect a heartbeat before then anyway

Thanks @Daffodil21 you're so right. Regardless of everything I find myself desperately googling everything trying to cling to hope, even though I know this will make things worse for me when AF inevitably comes.

I've had pink/orange spotting on and off today. Very light pink/orange and only when I wipe. I haven't had spotting like this for a good few 5-6months, but pre-TTC it was definitely normal for me to get a full day (sometimes 2-3 days!) of spotting before AF. It's just since starting TTC every little thing gets overanalysed, especially anything different!

So this past cycle I wasn't tracking, DH and I were just dtd casually and as regularly as we can. If AF arrives tomorrow then calculating backwards, that means DH and I dtd on ovulation day and all 3 days before it. It's so frustrating when you time everything perfectly and nothing happens!

@acaciabluebell don't be so hard on yourself. One thing I've learned from the egg book is that if we release an egg that has chromosome abnormalities (very common, and the single biggest cause of miscarriage) there is pretty much no way that egg will be fertilised, no matter how well we time it. If AF comes maybe it just wasn't a good enough egg this time, and hopefully it will be next month

I think I google 'symptoms' every TWW, even though I know them all by heart 😳

@Welliedays thank you! I've heard of chemicals but never thought we knew about them. It's just made me think that a very out of the norm bleed may have been more than that but I never knew!

The grammar of that has just made me hang my head in shame 🤣

@bramleyapples13 unfortunately the only way to know is to test early and get a positive on that test. Frer are the best for that... While knowing you've had one isn't ideal, at least you know you can definitely do it even if it doesn't stick! I think they say if you have three recurrent chemicals you should go to your doctor which makes me want to test earlier this time too so at least I know either way again!

How is everyone today?
@acaciabluebell I’m sorry about your AF! Try to enjoy the weekend by treating yourself and thinking this time next month could be it x
@Daffodil21 static smiley appeared yet?

So does anyone know much about how accurate the cervix is as a symptom? Here I am doing what I said I wouldn’t... mine seems very high compared to this time last month but it seems slightly hard! I’ve read it stays high if you’re pregnant but also it’s not reliable. I still don’t feel it, boobs aren’t really that sore and nothing else to suggest. I’m 8/9DPO

Well this is the worst AF I've had in a long time, literally been doubled over with nausea and painful cramps even after taking 600mg ibuprofen. I normally don't really have much pain during AF. Great

@Dogscanlookup I've wondered about this but I don't know if I have the guts to feel all the way up to my cervix lol!

@welliedays I've never really thought about it like that, that's true. I've never had a chemical that I know of (never seen a positive pregnancy test) it would be nice to know that my body at least has the possibility to ovulate/fertilise/implant. And would be nice to also know that DH's sperm 'works'! Lol

@acaciabluebell always look for the positives!!

@acaciabluebell having a positive pregnancy test and then have it taken away from you isn't a comfort. I've not had a chemical, but I was only aware I was pregnant for a few weeks. But the moment you see a positive, your life changes pretty quickly (or so you think). I've been told 'at least you know you can conceive' by multiple people, including by my fertility consultant, who quite frankly should know better! Almost a year after my MC, and 10 months on from my second, I am still not pregnant. It isn't a comfort to know that my body can't seem to keep hold of a pregnancy. Unless you have a reason not to, you must assume that your body is capable of producing a pregnancy, and keeping it safe. My hypnotherapist said that I need to trust that my body can do what it needs to do without me thinking about it, just like it does with all my other organs. That is hard for me to trust, but if you haven't had any problems highlighted, and you've been trying for under a year, you should assume you and your partner can make a baby together. You'll drive yourself insane every month if you don't. I mean this is in an encouraging way by the way! Until you get to the point of investigations (which you probably won't 🤞) then try and be as patient as you can. Try and ignore 'symptoms' in the tww. It is unlikely you will have any. And if you're anything like me you'll just spend hours searching the internet until you read what you want to hear. Easier said than done I know ❤️ I know how frustrating it is but really the only things you can do is give it a reasonable amount of time, and dtd as much as poss!!

@Dogscanlookup day 9 of flashing. I give up!!

Thanks so much @Daffodil21 💕 you're absolutely right. I've honestly been such a moody Margaret these past couple of days and I know it. I think it's due to hormones and made only worse by having family members asking me when I'm having a baby every single week. I think I need to take some time away from TTC world for a bit for my own sanity honestly!

@daffodil21 you are totally right about the horrible feeling after getting a positive. With my chemical I'm trying to focus on the positives as I wasn't far enough on to have anything more than a cluster of cells. There was no heartbeat or anything at my stage.. So I can take some comfort in knowing I can conceive (also, with the tests getting more sensitive, even a few years ago, I wouldn't have known I was even pregnant)... But for anyone past the point that I got to with my chemical it must be absolutely awful. While I look for the positives, I certainly struggled and didn't take it well. And come march when I would have been due I will probably find that difficult too. I think everyone deals with these things differently as it happens to everyone at different stages etc etc. The only common thing is that they are horrible at what ever stage they happen and we can only hope that we get some very sticky ones soon!

Sorry @Welliedays I didn't mean to speak to you! Of course all of our experiences are different, and the way we deal with them is too. I'm glad you find it a comfort, and I hope I didn't offend you or come across as insensitive ❤️ I suppose after a loss of any kind you know that a pregnancy test doesn't mean a successful pregnancy, so it's just another hurdle to overcome before getting to experience the joy. As much as I'm desperate for a positive test each month, the thought terrifies me!

@acaciabluebell oh no! That would really p** me off! I'm thankful I don't get that from mine! Take a break if you need to, even just for a month ❤️

@acaciabluebell can’t say that feeling a cervix is the nicest thing 😂 mines deffo high compared to this time last month though!
@Daffodil21 I’m so sorry you haven’t had a static 🙁 I had no idea til I joined this group how consuming and tough TTC can be and I rest you and all the ladies on here for doing what you can to stay positive!!

Have a good weekend ladies, I’m going to try and switch off until next week!

@Dogscanlookup it's kind of nice to have 'a month off' tbh. I'm afraid I have no advice on the cervix thing - I never check because it's just another thing for me to obsess over! Hope you manage to switch off ok - we're here if you need us!

@Daffodil21 was it yourself who gave me advice about the fertility clinic?

If it was, has anything else come about from it?

@Bramleyapples13 possibly - I spout all sorts of 'advice' on here 😂 what did I say if it was me? I did explain the testing we went through to someone but I can't remember who 🙈

What's come about from my testing? All ok, the only thing outstanding is progesterone blood tests (the one that has to be timed 7 dpo). I've booked it for next week but not sure if it'll be the right day/if I've ovulated. I'll know if it's the right day when AF arrives. Other than that I have a video consultation with the consultant in 3 months following my other blood tests which were to check out possible reasons for recurrent miscarriage. They they all came back clear so not sure what the point of the consultation is. Then it's just a waiting game until september next year when we'd be offered ivf (has to either be 2 years of TTC or 2 since a pregnancy if you've previously conceived) but I think we'll go for adoption over ivf

@Daffodil21 🤣 yes that was me! You explained how the process worked because I didn't know.

What do they do if you've not ovulate or it's not the right day? Have they any idea what any 'problem' as such is? I don't mean to be rude calling it a 'problem', I don't know what else to call it? I'm completely with you on adoption. It's always been my choice as a way to be a mum anyway. A few of my cousins are adopted and some other cousins have adopted themselves. I'm all for it!

@Bramleyapples13 if it turns out it's the right day and my progesterone levels don't show I've ovulated, then I presume they'll either do another blood test or prescribe chlomid or something else to make me ovulate. My consultant said he's not too worried about this though because I've conceive twice in the last two years (how reassuring 🙄) and also I had one done in Suffolk which showed I ovulated. However I have been getting some spotting quite a few days before AF last month and the month before, which may indicate low (I think) progesterone levels. But could also indicate a blood deficit in general apparently, which can be helped by 'blood building foods.'

No don't worry, not rude at all! It is a problem 😂🙈

I always had adoption in the back of my mind, but naively thought I would have the option to our own biological children first. I think I would pick that over ivf though, I'm just worried we wouldn't be accepted especially as we moved 600 miles away from our families at the beginning of this year