TTC after MC - June 2020 (Part 3)

[VP91x]

Hey lovelies,

New thread - currently CD17 (cycle #3) still waiting for peak OPK.

I hopefully have tagged everyone -

@SmileyT
@Rainbowhope11
@Hayleylou89
@Dipsy77
@HopeForRainbowbaby
@elliew818
@MissyBate
@MichT4
@NightDreaming
@NadJade
@Renna
@Re6ecc4
WellHurrahAndHuzzah
@ManchNic
@Jazper
@Dizzy201
@peonyrose87
@HE88
@mrsssk
@1990EM
@Chickoletta
@Tink20058
@sunflower96
@Meomeomeo
@chloedancer897
@Niisa
@Bellabubble
@Sallyjo27
@Ejb86
@Wishingfornumber2
@anaconda76
@AR52
@DontStandSoClose
@Donnat89
@Banbi
@Diorissimo1985
@DBTJ
@2020wish
@Eli2020
@NightDreaming
@Saim86

If anyone else would like to join please do❤️

@SmileyT well, I wasn't sure until this month really - I might be wrong still. But, I can basically like place my finger into the opening because it feels open. Whereas normally I can't. If I ever give birth again I am 100% self examining because Im dying to know what a dilated cervix feels like xx

I'd be really surprised if anyone is actually feeling a cervix as it's so posterior when you're not pregnant which is why they use a speculum.

@chloedancer897 oh bloody hell really? What on earth have I been touching up in there? X

@chloedancer897 very easy to feel your cervix especially when not pregnant as its lower down. Sit on the toilet and try you be very surprised.

With time you do get better.

www.babycentre.co.uk/x561007/how-do-i-check-my-cervix-for-signs-of-ovulation

Enjoy get feeling

@DBTJ oh yeah I sit on the toilet to feel mine too. I hope its what Im feeling anyway 😂 xx

Afternoon all.
Doing my best to catch up on everyone but there are just so many messages. Would be easier to keep on top of this thread if I came on every day but I’m not very good at that, it’s lovely hearing everyone’s good news.

5 days late but my period finally came yesterday. Its been very painful, physically both before and now during period. But also emotionally. My husband and I talked today for the first time about the possibility of it not happening and us stopping trying. We already have 2children, but have had an horrendous 3 yrs trying for a 3rd. I’m not sure I can keep putting my mind and body through this. How do you all keep up the energy and momentum??

We’re both going to do one final GP check so check all is ok and if there’s nothing they can do I think I’ll cry for a month and do my best to rid myself of the idea of another child. Will be had but I can’t keep living in limbo land forever. Feel like I’ve been sat stationary. If pregnancy is not going to happen I need to move on with my life. x

@DBTJ interesting 🧐🧐

@NightDreaming your story is similar to mine. We've been trying for 2 1/2 years for number 3. Didn't have a problem conceiving the other two. Husband is so done with watching me crumble apart every month and always feeling miserable. I actually wished this whole month away hoping I was pregnant. I'm worried I'm wasting my life wishing for something that just may not happen. I just don't know if I can close the door on it entirely. Are you keen to try IVF? Have you had investigations done?

@chloedancer897 there’s something about hearing other people going through similar issues that is so helpful and heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too, but somehow knowing you are makes me feel less like I’m going insane. Someone out there understands how I’m feeling. I actually cried after reading your message. Still am now. Gah this is all mad.
Wish I’d not wanted a 3rd. But I do. And I doubt that feeling will ever go. Will book a Gp appointment and see what they say. What are you thinking Chloedancer? Have you discussed IVF?

@NightDreaming it's so helpful talking to other people going through it. It's soul destroying. I've never wanted anything more and it's all I think about. People have said hurtful things like I'm lucky to have two. I know that. I feel lucky. I just have a massive void where a 3rd should be. I always wanted 3 (at least!)

I'm on the list for IVF. I was contacted to come in but the pandemic struck and they cancelled it. I've had all the investigations done and nothing is wrong with either of us. Which should be a relief but it also means we have no idea why we aren't getting pregnant or what we can do to change it.

I can’t feel mine at all. Even with my leg propped up on bath and squatting hahaha so sorry. Can’t get in far enough so haven’t a clue if it’s open or closed

@NightDreaming @chloedancer897 I wish I had some words that would ease any of the sadness both of you must be feeling, but I can imagine nothing makes it better. Hopefully you both start getting access to support to conceive again either through IVF or further tests as you said. Sending you both lots of love ❤️ x

Well ladies. In the past the gynecologists didn't have ultrasounds etc and I have heard they confirm "earlier " pregnancies by colour of vagina. Maybe easier than cervix( I would not be able to do that ). So I have researched little bit and directly found this:

www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/vaginal-changes#1.-Your-vagina-might-turn-a-Smurfy-shade-of-blue

Your vagina might turn a Smurfy shade of blue
When you think of a certain body part turning blue, you generally don’t think of a vagina — but that’s exactly what can happen when you’re newly pregnant.
Known as Chadwick’s sign, it’s caused by increased blood flow down below. Unless you’re literally looking for it, you may not even know that it’s happened since it doesn’t cause any discomfort. Regardless, the blue or purple hue should disappear shortly after you give birth.
This change of color in the vagina, labia, and cervix can occur as early as four weeks, making it one of the first indications that you could be pregnant.

@HopeForRainbowbaby ooh that's interesting about the change in colour shame it's not straight after sex and guessing a HPT will detect the pregnancy first anyway these days.

@chloedancer897 @NightDreaming I've only been trying for 3 months and honestly struggling some days already, it is my first and I'm so desperate to be a mum. Really hoping that you both get to complete your families really soon xx

@DBTJ @VP91x yeah I can definitely feel it when it's low and I know it's high when I can't feel it bit will have to try and get to the top when it drops next, I guess the more you feel it the more you get used to it xx

@SmileyT 😂😂😂 just had laughed at the thought of us on the chat being like soo.. Did it change colour!? If that happened after sex, haha!!

@HopeForRainbowbaby 😂😂 don’t give us something else to check. Not sure what OH will say if I ask him to check the colour of my vagina 🤣

@chloedancer897 @NightDreaming I really hope things happen for you soon. Please don’t lose hope xx

I’ve never understood checking the cervix. I’ve tried and didn’t get any conclusion so I took it off my list of things to try and track. One less on a list of 875

@chloedancer897 and @NightDreaming .. as someone who is desperately hoping that this pregnancy survives to give us our third child, I am praying that it becomes a reality for your third babies too. Waiting to get pregnant with your first is horrible when it doesn't hapoen right away but its also really difficult when you're desperate to give your children a sibling and the age gap keeps going up and up.
It took me a whole year to get pregnant with our first and that was the longest year of my life. I can only imagine what 2 years, 3 years feels like. Sending lots of love.

@2020wish hoping tomorrow brings good news! Do you have a blue dye test you can use?

Thank you all so much. My youngest is 7 now and he so desperately wants to be a big brother. It's a pain you can't describe. It's the same for all of us, a yearning that won't go away. It's so comforting to hear that we are all in this together ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@NightDreaming you explained it exactly. I feel like the last almost 3 years, I have been stationary. I'm watching my life go by but I feel like I'm not moving anywhere.

@chloedancer897 @NightDreaming I just wanted to say I too feel like you do, and it is a comfort to know others feel the same. We always wanted two, but after my son was born I felt like I would have liked another. Since he died I'm desperate to have another. My daughter is wonderful but our family just isn't the same without our son, and I so desperately want to see her with a sibling again. Nothing will ever make losing Henry ok but I don't know how I'll deal with never having another, if it came to that.

I completely understand the feeling of falling apart every month, and not knowing what else you can do. It seems so unfair.

@2020wish and the others talking about feeling your cervix - I never used to be able to, but after having my children my cervix feels really low all the time. Seems to move a bit higher/lower but I can always feel it. Really wish I didn't know all these things and was still in ignorant bliss about all things TTC.

@MichT4 my husband already thought I was a bit crazy with the opks, if I asked him what colour I was down there I think he'd run for the hills
It's interesting though.. like imagine living before they had invented pregnancy tests?? Did they just wait for their period to stop coming to know if they were pregnant or not? What if you had an irregular cycle?! I once went for 6 months with no period and I tested every week, definitely wasn't pregnant in that time. So grateful for hpts!

@chloedancer897 I know how you feel :( my daughter is with a different relationship and she’s been begging me so long for a sibling. Even puts pregnancy tests in my shopping baskets. And cried when we told her she was going to be a big sister. My heart is breaking at the thought of crushing that.

@1990EM got a blue dye one... speaking of which

Ladies can you look at this picture. It’s the a test I took earlier and it was bfn. My sister asked me to send her a pic. She sent me this negative back off it cause she said she can see a faint line. Does anyone else see it or are we holding on to pure hope 😂

@MichT4 @1990EM it's making me laugh so much thinking of asking our partners to check 😂

@1990EM Omg yes like literally they would just have to wait and see if they missed a period or developed certain symptoms I suppose. Crazy!xx