TTC baby no1. Looking for fellow crazy TTC friends!

[CAG14]

Hey

This is my 9th month TTC my first baby and I'm 33. I got static smiley on Friday on OPK, and now I'm in my TWW - again! I'm currently on furlough so the wait seems even longer and more painful and I definitely end up going a bit crazy 🤪

Anyone else in similar boat and need keeping sane?! Also any TTC tips you've heard of? I will literally try anything at the moment haha.

@stabal yes I felt exactly the same like I shouldn’t bring it up and kill the mood. My sister in law was also desperate for me to be ‘okay’ - I think because she was trying for a baby too and wanted me to be okay so if she got pregnant I wouldn’t feel so destroyed by it. I found that really hard as she kept texting me saying to speak to a professional to make me feel better. Time is definitely a healer. For a good while after I couldn’t hack seeing anyone with a baby/pregnant and went on a mass muting spree on social media which helped! I think the worst part for me is it just felt so incredibly lonely and I don’t personally know anyone else who’s been through it so haven’t had anyone to talk to to validate my feelings. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t have got so carried away imaging myself with a baby and all the plans I had etc but it’s impossible not to! I keep thinking next time I’ll be more chilled out hopefully and try not to think about it too much - again easier said than done! I just hope I get another chance at it 💕

This has been very therapeutic so thank you all for listening/reading/your nice comments. It means a lot to be able to finally share all this stuff :-)

@Pippy20 I went through that same guilt. Shouldn't have thought about names, shouldn't have thought about a nursery, shouldn't have thought about prams, shouldn't have thought about their cute little outfit they'd be in at our wedding in November 2021. But when it's something you want so bad you do automatically get carried away. I hope if it happens again I'll be able to calm myself a little bit now but probably not lol. I'm still having trouble seeing anyone close to me with a baby or announcing a pregnancy but thank god I came off Facebook in February during a bit of a breakdown so that's been helpful I think, not seeing all the 'perfect' lives. I was scheduled to start back to counselling in March over my breakdown which was brought on by my dad's death but then lockdown happened and my appointment was cancelled. Then the miscarriage happened.. So now I have an entirely new issue that needs addressed in counselling 😂

@Mia1985x 💕

Hi everyone,

Been trying actually concentrate in work today 😂

So sorry to read about your miscarriages. So glad you feel like you can talk to us on here about your feelings. Keeping our mental health in a good place can be really tough for us all, but especially after experiencing a loss like you have. Keep talking about it as much as you need.

I'm not looking forward to the questions about why I'm not drinking! I can't keep my mouth shut so will probably tell people if I'm in my tww. Just been looking at how pregnant I'd be at our wedding, think September would be optimal month to conceive but not going to stop trying before then.
I've just started bleeding, so guess that's my withdrawal bleed.

@Stabal oh my goodness I’m so sorry to hear that. I really feel for you - so many things to process I can’t even imagine how you handled that. Yep definitely a good thing to protect yourself and get rid of anything that makes you feel even a tiny bit bad. Are you able/going to reschedule your appointment?

How exciting you’re getting married next year - hopefully everything is back to normal by then and you can have a proper bash!

Yeah I was the same - thinking about all those little things and looking at prams and all sorts online, and now I feel like a complete idiot for thinking so innocently that it would all be just as I imagined. Life’s a bitch as the saying goes!

But that being said we are all here - all trying our best and trooping on! Really hoping at least one of us gets some good news this cycle! And if not this month there’s always the next one, and a big day glass of wine 🍷 😊

That should have read big FAT glass of wine lol

@Pippy20 my GP surgery started a new mental health scheme early this year so it was through there with a counsellor and they're still not seeing patients so god knows when I'll be able to pick up my appointment again! But I'm definitely doing better than I was back in February anyway. I started antidepressants again then when I originally went to the doctors and I find they've really helped this time round, I'd be scared to miss a dose whereas before I never really noticed any difference and would stop and start them all over the place.
Yeah the wedding is very exciting! My partner finally proposed on Christmas morning after 13 years together 😂 it was a total shock, I'd just resigned to the fact he was never going to do it haha. He put the ring on our cats collar and woke me up and told me "the wee man had a present" for me 💕 we fell in love with a venue that's a blank canvas and by the sea. Thankfully we are very creative people so we will decorate and make everything ourselves. We're very excited to make it personal and unique for us! The date we're getting married is the date we first spoke to each other and by 2021 that will be 15 years since we said hello 🥰

@Pippy20 @Stabal reading your messages about what you have been through really brought a tear to my eye. It’s something I’ve never experienced myself or know anyone who has gone through it, talk all you need to on here, we’re listening 💕

@Stabal it sounds like your wedding is going to be just what you want and unique to you, it’s very exciting and you have that to look forward to & the date sounds perfect, the meaning behind the date you’ve chosen is so sweet.

@butterfly5291 where are you in your cycle?

Aw I’ve laughed and cried catching up with these messages. Going through any kind of miscarriage must be so heartbreaking, I really feel for those of you who have went through it and really hope you get your bfps soon. I can’t imagine having the joy taken away from you like that.

I’ve had some really insensitive comments and questions. My boss asked me on a work trip if I was pregnant coz I had went to my room with a migraine and said I felt queasy. He asked me the next day “you’re not pregnant are you?” He had asked 3 different people if they were pregnant by that point, one of which had just had a miscarriage and he made some joke like “oh you’re not pregnant are you?!” I took it all up with him after that and got a half assed apology. But I could tell he still didn’t see how there was harm in it. I’ve also had the whole “when are you gona have kids? I mean what age are you now?” And the people who moan about their kids and say “oh you’re lucky you don’t have kids” kind of comments. I genuinely think there are no excuses for half the things people say!

I’m not a big drinker myself, like I’ve been the designated driver in Christmas day etc before. I go through phases where I won’t drink for months then others where I am right into my wine and gin! But it’s def a hard thing to hide and I was praying I would get pregnant during lockdown when I wasn’t going into work and wasn’t seeing people so if I had sickness etc no one would guess. It’s awful that people don’t just mind their own business!

Tomorrow I’ll be 8 dpo and still no symptoms but I have felt a raised temperature and a bit restless like I‘ve got a mild cold. I would be so so shocked if it was a BFP this month coz I literally feel nothing is going on 😭 it must be so exciting to start feeling some symptoms during the tww.

@Faith82 Totally agree , I know people don't mean any harm but I hate being asked when I'll have a baby. Especially recently when freinds have joked about a lockdown baby as we were trying and always seemed to happen at the same time AF would arrive so would hurt more. I just wish people would mind their own business.

Also on the symptom front . I wouldn't focus too much on that as I convinced myself I was pregnant the last 2 months and was symptom spotting. I know a few people who haven't had symptoms until 8 weeks when the sickness hit. It could be you are one of those people too . Good luck and I hope you get your BFP. 💕

Aw thanks @1992EM it’s nice to live in that hope anyway and tell myself I could still be pregnant and just have no symptoms 🙏

It was so wierd coz last month I was convinced I was, I had cramping for a whole week before my period. I’ve never had that in my life. Like proper period cramps every day. I felt so emotional and everything smelled so strong. My husband was frying steaks and I had to run out into garden gagging almost sick with the smell. And we have steaks a lot and I’ve never had that. Test was negative and af came so it really must’ve been all new pms symptoms lucky me! 🙈😂

@LMA27 I just got my Mirena coil out on Saturday so I have no cycle yet. I'm expecting a withdrawal bleed so guessing I can start tracking my cycle after this finishes 🤷

@Faith82 I was the same . Had random twinges , felt sick, peeing constantly. Part of me thinks I just convince myself that i do 😂 . Going to try hard not to as it makes it so much harder when its BFN . Also determined to not test until AF is late . I may just have to keep doing opks until then to stop me 😂.

Isn’t it cruel that our bodies do this?! I used to get zero PMS symptoms and now I seem to develop a new one worthy of its own extensive medical study every month 😂 honestly if people could see my google search history they would be seriously disturbed!

Lightening crotch was the worst one! ⚡️ I cried laughing trying to explain what was happening to my husband and what it was called lol

I really get the feeling I’m out this month - got all my usual headaches, sore boobs, spots, moody and gassy. It’s all just so glamorous isn’t it?!

@pippy20 thank you for sharing your experience. It is completely okay to talk about it here and I am so sorry you went through all of this. @stabal and you of course too. I'm glad this is a safe space we can all chat about all our experiences good and bad.

In regards to symptom spotting I am exactly the same and bad at googling things. I've always been a hypercondriac when it comes to Googling symptoms anyway and manage to convince myself I am dying of all sorts of things whenever something is wrong with me. I actually at CBT therapy a few years back for health anxiety which did help, I just know that if/when I get pregnant ill probably have to have a few more sessions as I'd be worrying constantly about mine and the babies health and any symptom.

Had 3rd day of flashing smiley face today. Hoping peak will be tomorrow or Wednesday. We DTD yesterday and hopefully tonight and tomorrow morning.

Was mindlessly hanging some prints in my hall and felt a weird twinge. Went to the loo and I'm bleeding again 🙄 time to play guess what the hell is going on with my body

Hi Ladies,

I’m not TTC but I just wanted to pop on and offer you all a virtual hug! I was where you all are not too long ago TTC baby number 1 and a similar thread really helped me.

Just for the record I was 28 at time of conception, partner 29. I have a BMI of over 40, partner very healthy.

I had my implant out in the October and ‘casually’ tried in November/December and in January after much mumsnet advice used the SMEP and Preseed. I didn’t use OPKs but just went by my Flo app and discharge - egg white means baby dance!!! If I used OPKs I’d drive myself mad and be homeless (so expensive)!! I know it sounds really obvious but try not to do too much in the way of taking tablets etc, all these things change things in your body - just stick with folic acid if you can. Also wee after sex if you need too, it doesn’t flush out any sperm as it’s from your urethra not your vagina.

I was really lucky and caught first month and now have a beautiful son but I knew days before the test I was pregnant as around 6DPO I had very obvious stabbing pains in my left side on and off as well as a lot of discharge that I never normally have - no IB for me though. It’s so easy to symptom spot but I think having a few cheap tests and then a FRER in the cupboard helps. You can do a cheapie every day even when it’s far too early and feel no guilt, use your FRER 4/5 days before AF or however you see fit but you won’t be worried about the cost of all tests so much.

I wish you all the most amount of luck and virtual support. I hope you all get your happy endings 💖

so I checked an frer today and it was negative. No idea what’s happening now. will give it a couple more days and check again

@CAG14 yay to flashing smiley but also boo it’s not a static one, at least you know peak is on its way 😄 exciting

@Stabal I don’t even understand why our bodies do that to us, what do you think it is?

@LT103 I would definitely wait another day or 2 and check it still could be too early to show up properly? Where are you in your cycle again?

@ihoeihoeihoe thanks for the lovely message 💕

I feel like this is such a rollercoaster, I want this so bad for each and every one of you as much as I do myself, but when someone messages about a BFN or AF I seriously feel the pain your feeling.
AF is due in 10 days for me, I had that weird lightening thing yesterday and I felt a weird feeling yesterday in my belly like it was similar to when AF is due but not for long. I don’t like to google symptoms as I seriously spend all day reading them and I get myself worked up, I feel like I just need someone or something to distract me today, I don’t know why but I feel a bit down like this probably hasn’t happened for me this time round..

@LMA27 I’m 11 dpo. Af due Saturday so will test again at end of week

@LT103 sorry for the BFN. There's still a chance though! 🤞

@LMA27 I honestly have no idea, AF finished on the 30th and when I had regular cycles I never spotted or bled randomly in between so I'm worried everything is messed up again which puts me back a few years in my progress 😔 the TWW is horrible and I'm pretty sure all the stress and anxiety we put on ourselves does not help the situation at all. If you can find something to distract yourself then do it! Even a good old binge of crap TV. Anything! Keeping everything crossed for you though that AF does not appear 💕

Well ladies, that b!tch AF has reared her ugly head!!

In one instance it's upsetting as would've been awesome to fall preggers straightaway (slight delusion on my part there lol). However, on the other hand, at least I know my periods have fallen into cycle pretty much straight away after having the Mirena removed on 11th June. It gives me somewhere to start doing my OPKs from now and work out my cycles going forward

@Nellyk84 that's really good news. Onwards and upwards!

@Nellyk84 that’s good news - and a good thing to feel positive about! I don’t know why but doing opks make me happy, possibly because of the excitement of seeing that stupid smiley face on the clearblue ones I use - and the feeling you get knowing your body is doing something. Even though it’s like the very first step in what feels like such a long process, getting a positive opk always makes me think woo maybe this will be my month?! And stupidly with every cycle that passes it makes me think there’s more of a chance for the next cycle to work - which statistically makes no sense but it keeps me going lol. I just wish there was a fool-hardly distraction for the tww - I’m literally driving myself mad.