7 months ttc (cont of 6 months ttc)

[Twinkletoes85]

Hi ladies,

Following on from our 6 months ttc thread, for anyone wanting to join in it’s just a group of us who have gone past the 6/7 month mark ttc looking to chat and support each other. All welcome 😊

@jessmcg ah good, that sounds positive! Will keep fingers crossed all results come back ok 🤞🏻 I was looking at HyCoSy as our next port of call, but I think it's about £450 at our private clinic. Think I might try and put a bit more pressure on my GP to refer on via NHS....although it is pretty tempting to just cut out the waiting part and pay to get tests done.

What are all of you ladies doing regarding alcohol? I'm just having a wine and wondered whether you guys have stopped completely? Or cut down? Stopped at certain times of the month? The last few months I've gone alcohol free for the week before ovulation but I'm not sure that actually would make any difference! I could probably Google but no doubt it'll advise giving up completely, and currently I don't want to hear that! Lol

@Hoping41 I know I feel like I constantly ask people the same questions as I get so confused! Should be like a dating profile!

anxious Annie, aged 34, month number 12 testing June 23rd 🤣

@Tilly1403 honestly I’ve still been drinking as I usually do. I don’t drink that much by any means and it’s shown that it doesn’t make all that much difference. Obviously if I were to get a BFP then I’d stop but I’m just enjoying what little luxuries I can (particularly sunny lockdown days!)

@AnxiousAnnie86
I’m 28 on cycle #10 for first baby. AF due tomorrow for me 😬

@Tilly1403 I'm giving up alcohol altogether but to be fair I made this decision about 5 days ago 😂

@gypsywater Thank you! they also check the follicles on your ovaries to get an initial idea of your ovarian reserve. She said my ovaries look very healthy and I’ve got a v fertile number of follicles - I was like unmmmm well why am I in my 10th cycle then TTC? She said getting my tubes checked would be a good idea.

@DSC1 thank you

@Tilly1403 Yeah, it’s not cheap! Im going to have to talk to my OH and see if we can make a plan if the consultant says it’s a good idea.

Regarding alcohol - I didn’t adapt at all when we started TTC but from around mid-February I basically decided that because nothing had happened to cut down significantly. I now will have a glass every now and again but I’m really hoping that now my body has adapted to way less alcohol I might be in with a chance! Let’s see...
I haven’t cut it out completely though.

Welcome @AnxiousAnnie86 I'm cd5 of cycle 8

@Tilly1403 I haven't cut it out completely. I would have a glass or two maybe twice in the month. I try time it when af comes and earlier in the cycle but I don't rule it out at any point really tbh. If af was due in a few days I would try hold off just in case.

@jessmcg that's sounds like a really good sign, yay to lots of reserve!

@AnxiousAnnie86 welcome! This is by far my favourite thread to be on - I almost wish it was a group chat instead so that I can see notifications and messages instantly!

I also get very disheartened to see those who get their bfp on their first cycle. My SIL (DH's brother's wife) is due any day now and whilst I am so excited for her and to be an auntie, I am super jealous because it hasn't happened yet for us and they got pregnant first try. I feel so bad about having these feelings. I promise I am not an awful human being. Just desperate to be a mummy.

Hi @AnxiousAnnie86 this is defo a great thread to be on and I'm on about 6 on here lol🙈 we're the same age and we've been trying 9 months now. Are you ttc your first?

I still drink @Tilly1403! Try to limit it a week before af which is usually easy when I get so bloated. I've actually decided to not drink all month cos I didn't do it in jan. But I don't think it makes much difference tbh, think of all the alcoholics that conceive 🤷🏾‍♀️ not a lovely thought but it's food for thought isn't it.
@Swifty2 haha same here 😂 it's only been 8 days so far, let's see if I can make it the 30 days!

No one thinks your awful @MrsCOR! I'm the same every time I hear someone fell first time. I literally want to cry and scream at the same time! I know 10 ppl giving birth between July and December this year 😫

Anyone know if getting more spots is a sign of anything? I literally never get spots and in the past week I’ve had like 5! With spots being somewhat hormone related it has made me wonder 🤔 probably completely clutching at straws here 🙈

@notyetamumbuttrying - but I feel it!!! It makes it worse that DH's brother keeps making comments about things DH is doing that could prevent pregnancy. He literally had 2 beers this evening which is the most he has had in months, yet BIL comments on it straight away. They know we are trying, so why feel the need to comment? TTC is a very difficult journey for most people as it takes a lot longer than expected. You just don't hear about it because those who get pregnant easily always make sure to mention it. 🙄

On the subject of alcohol, I'm not a big drinker anyway but I've been having maybe a glass of gin every now and then. I'm not cutting it out completely until I get a bfp because I don't think it will make any difference. DH used to drink a bit, but hasn't really had much since his birthday in January. Overall he is trying to be healthy, particularly now as I think ttc and getting nowhere is starting to take his toll on him.

I'm spotty too @Nat4392 but for me it's hormonal and progesterone as it's monthly before af but you never know if it's new for you!
@MrsCOR that's unfair of your BIL, hope you told him to button it! Ppl who had it easy will never know the struggle of ttc. That's why I'm so glad I joined Mumsnet. Was skeptical at first as I thought you had to be a mum to join but it's truly wonderful! If and when i do conceive I will make sure ppl know it wasn't an easy journey. It's like a taboo subject isn't it. Really shouldn't be though!

@notyetamumbuttrying - I wish I did say something back but I didn't really.

I have also been told that horrible saying "just relax". I think it is the worst thing you can tell a couple who are ttc!

@MrsCOR Your feelings are totally valid and normal and I feel them too, so you’re not alone. I’ve definitely had my good share of angry, frustrated tears when yet another friend of mine announces they’re pregnant and smugly comments ‘first try’ - I want to punch them every time frankly! And I’m sure that there are some who just say that, but I just think that kind of thing is shit for the sisterhood. We should be honest about how long it takes us to conceive and look out for each other, but for some reason like @notyetamumbuttrying said it’s taboo - it really shouldn’t be!

I’ve also been a recipient of Just Relax. It’s always the people who get preggo easily who say that. I feel like saying - if you were in my position, would you be relaxed? I can guarantee that they wouldn’t be! I think there are two camps of people - the first month people and then everyone else. I don’t know many people who sit in between to be honest and I think that makes sense. We all go into this so naively thinking it’ll be easy and then when it doesn’t happen quickly, we panic. If you get pregnant first go, you don’t have enough time to start worrying it won’t happen for you.

@jessmcg @MrsCOR my sister is always saying to me, just stop trying and it'll happen! It's so so frustrating she got pregnant first month, drives me totally bonkers! I had this conversation with a friend the other day, after a year of trying how to do you just not try anymore!!

Is anyone having any issues with pre mom? It's just deleted everyone of my periods for last year, and it won't even let me re enter x

@AnxiousAnnie86 I hate Stop Trying!!!! If I stopped trying I wouldn’t time it correctly and I’d have less chance of getting pregnant than I do now. The statement is ludicrous.

That’s so annoying about Pre Mom. I use Femometer and their app and so far, no issues. Used to use Flo but found it often got my predicted ov date wrong so I switched over.

Welcome @AnxiousAnnie86 this is such a lovely (and busy!) Group of ladies. I'm in my TWW also 6 DPO. I'm 38 and on cycle 21 of TTC DC3. Sorry to hear about your MC that must have been awful. Heres hoping for you this month. 🤞

@seafrontsky I am also 6dpo today :)

@AnxiousAnnie86 @jessmcg if I stopped trying I literally wouldn't dtd as its become so regimented and not fun haha

@jessmcg @AnxiousAnnie86 - yep Stop Trying is the other one! I tried one month of "stop trying" and "just relax"... and guess what? We dtd on all the wrong days and when I checked my Flo app just to see where I was, that day was expected ovulation so I had just missed the best days (2 days before)! I was so stressed out the whole month not knowing when we should be dtd and then when I realised we missed all the best opportunities I was so upset and annoyed with myself and with everyone that told me to just relax. We then did a cycle of every other day, but obviously I'm still here!! We tried "just relax", it didn't work.

I'm laying in bed pondering whether to test again but I think I might skip today and test tomorrow. It is 13dpo for me and AF due tomorrow now. I really should start getting cramps today and pink cm if AF is expected so I will update later!

Sometimes I come to this group to type a message only to see that someone else has typed the same thing!!
I've only recently given up alcohol purely because nothing is happening so it's something else I can control. I might still have a glass every now and then but I'm very consciously trying not to. My OH needs to go for his second sperm test so he was also going to stop for a couple of months to see if it made any difference. He keeps having the odd one though, nothing much but more than 0 and for some reason, I find it very difficult to deal with - probably because I can't control it. He just seems to deal with the issue by ignoring it while I am slowly becoming more and more obsessed!

I also woke up this morning to a dip in bbt, feeling teary and crampy so I'm sure af is on her way and it's just so disheartening. I really did everything right this month.

The "just relax" and "it will happen" really pisses me off too! I've told a couple of friends that I was having sex once a month (reasons for this too) and they were like dont worry you're still in with a chance. Really...when I've had sex on like CD6 I'm also convinced people say they got pregnant on the first try when they didnt really! I think some convince themselves it was first try when really thay might have been their first month of having sex literally every day or something!

@Hoping41 I feel you there! I've cut right back but my OH hasn't really. I'm going mad trying to work out what I can change and he deals with things by pretending they aren't a problem.

It's a frustrating time in so many ways for couples isn't it.