First time TTC - help please!! Any one else TTC for their first time?

[BeeR2009]

Hi everyone,

Me and my husband have made the decision to try for a baby - we had a talk last month after I thought I might be pregnant (we weren't actively trying) and after 12 years together feel that now is the right time.

I'm feeling really excited and a little nervous - I know it may take a while and I just want to be as prepared as possible and be doing as many of the right things as I can.

What do people recommend for trying to get pregnant? Is anyone else in the same boat and would like to keep in touch/progress?

I'm due to finish AF in around 2 days and due to ovulate around 28th according to my tracker app - I've got folic acid and vitamin D arriving tomorrow that I can start taking, what else can I be doing to prepare as much as possible? I know it sounds silly, but do we just start 'trying' as soon as my period is over?

Look forward to speaking to you all soon!

Thanks,

Bee x

@MintGreenLife we were supposed to be getting married on a P&O cruise in the Caribbean but we are postponing it to Nov 2022 (2021 was all booked up). We took the view of we just felt stressed when we thought about it and that's not what I wanted to look back on my wedding and feel. Also I haven't had my dress fittings (I bought my dress start of this year), my partner hasn't had a kilt fitting etc and we have worked and saved so hard we weren't gonna just settle for whatever. With postponing we get exactly what we want and maybe even more as we are still saving!

@Mrskcam that makes a lot of sense, sorry to hear you've had to postpone though. TBH I think we are going the same way as we only got engaged late last year and then this all kicked off a few months later, so I haven't been able to enjoy planning at all. Our plan is to have a registry office wedding this year instead if possible, and then hopefully rebook the day for a similar time next year, depending on where we are with TTC. I don't know about you, but I feel like TTC is the only thing we really can do right now to move our lives forward x

Hi everyone... Newbie here... First time ttc for baby #1 ahhhhh. Came of my pill and have been using opks to track any surges, none yet, but only been off my pill a couple weeks, we are having regular sexy times... I'm not too worried about waiting for my first proper af but I've had my withdrawal bleed... Guess there's not much more I can do. Seems its all a waiting game. I'm 29 and hubby is 34. Nice to meet you all! X

Hi ladies, 2nd month TTC our first baby. Was on the June bus but seem to have lost the thread as I’ve been quiet for a week.
Stopped the pill in March and had the usual withdrawal bleed. Had my 1st natural period in April exactly when it was due to arrive but now this month nothing.. done 3 tests and all have been a BFN so feeling baffled. I originally thought it was because I changed brand of folic acid and have heard that can prolong cycles but after stopping that completely still nothing.
Do I call the dr for a check up or just wait and see what happens with regards to AF arriving? I was always regular before starting the pill about 5 years ago.
This TTC business is baffling!

@SVC11 @Dreaming101 welcome to you both! Hope you pick up lots of good tips from this thread, I have. I'm not sure what the best idea is about AF not showing up this month. Some of the vitamins can lengthen your cycle so it could be this. I'm not sure what a dr might say but could be worth going down that route too. Xxx

Anyone else suffer from hayfever? My tablets don't even seem to help lately

Anyone testing this week??

Hi all,

My Fiancé and I are getting married next September and are planning on TTC (trying to conceive) straightaway. However, I have massive doubts that I’ll be able to conceive.

For context - I started my period when I was 9 years old - I’m now 23 and will be 24 when we get married. I’m also not on any contraception and haven’t been for 5 years (previous to this I was on and off the pill due to middle pains for two years) due to its negative effects on my mental health and we go ‘natural’ - occasionally he DTD (doing the deed) inside but I’ve never had a pregnancy scare/been caught as such.

I’m quite nervous that my egg quality is already starting to decline due to the age of which I started my period and alongside never falling pregnant due to the lack on contraception kinda scares me that I’m not able to fall pregnant. I totally understand we haven’t been actively TTC (trying to conceive) so the chances are very slim so far that I would fall pregnant but even so I am worried.

Does anyone else have ‘the fear’ that it won’t happen to them? I would love to be a mum to complete our family but it’s such a pressuring time.

Thank you - E X

@Mrskcam my DH is a huge sufferer. We ended up in hospital once because he couldn't breathe properly due to it. At the moment he is suffering mostly with his eyes and has bought an eye mist which he says helps. Says use 3 times a day but it's more like 10 just to relieve the itching. What do you take for it?

I wouldn't be due to test for a couple of weeks as I'm hoping I can wait for AF to be late. I have just ordered some tests off amazon though so I have some ready! Xxx

@MrsJ6921 welcome to the group. I have the fear that it won't happen due to the way I used to eat from secondary school up to quite recently tbh. My DH has the fear that his sperm might be an issue but he's never TTC before so you could say both of us are a bit worried/over worrying when it all could be fine. Despite what you're told in schools it's actually quite difficult to get pregnant as everything has to be timed perfectly. You are fortunate that you have age on your side. I don't believe starting periods early has any effect on conceiving. I think it's statistically harder the older you are. It's easy for me to say don't worry but since we have started TTC I want it more than ever now. If it hasn't happened by the end of this year we are going to the drs for tests. If you don't want to wait a year to see if you're all ok you can pay privately for testing which when I looked cost £450. Please don't feel like you're alone though. Xxx

Hi @MrsJ6921, welcome to the group. I started my periods when I was 13/14 but they were irregular up until a couple of years ago (now 29), and even now they are longer at around 36 days, but sometimes go up to 43. Sometimes I'd go for 5 months or so without a period. I went to the docs age 24 and they fobbed me off saying I was still young but I've always been worried there would be issues. We've been TTC for 18 months now, and even though I've always had a niggling feeling in the back of my mind before we started TTC, I didn't think we would be here. We went to the docs when we had been trying for 8 months or so, and I said we had been trying for 12 because I just knew something wasn't right. They found a problem with my DH, which I had never really considered. I haven't had enough tests yet to conclusively say I'm ok, but the bloods I had didn't show anything. We have our first appointment with a fertility clinic today after a referral (via video), and tbh even though I always had a worry, I never thought we would be at this point. As the months tick by I lose more and more hope that it will never happen. We recently bought a 4 bed house (not a low-key brag - house prices are very reasonable here) and I'm just walking around it wondering if it will always be this empty, so yes, I totally get 'the fear'.

I would like to point out though that our experience isn't typical of TTC, and whilst it's damn hard work and stressful, and occupies your mind 99% of the time, most couples don't take as long as we are. And if there is a problem, our experience has been very good with the NHS, but I think that really comes down to the luck of the draw tbh. Good luck with your wedding, I hope all runs smoothly!!

Also welcome @SVC11 and @Dreaming101

Hi all.

I've just had my first outgoings go out (basically all my bills go out on the same day) since my new wage slip (work has slowed down due to Covid and so we have all had to go down to a 4 day week). It was a HUGE shock - partly because we moved about a week before lockdown and so we are only just getting used to the bills (and currently they all come out of my account and I get money transferred over).

Anyway my point of this post was... how much have finances impacted on your decision in TTC? I feel like if this hadn't happened I would have been totally fine and I know in my relationship and age etc I'm ready. I also until recently had a good career (lawyer). However, I can't lie that I had a bit of a wobble earlier thinking - the finances of a baby! Ahhh x

@LennyAndToots we had a little wobble over how much childcare will cost when I have to go back to work as I'm day shift and my partner is night shift so it will be difficult but we decided we can make it work

@Daffodil21 I've had a similar feeling to what you describe - we bought a 4-bed "fixer - upper" nearly 2 years ago (just before we got married). We're finally getting round to decorating the bedrooms so thinking about baby/ kids' rooms, and it's made me wonder what we'll do if it doesn't happen...

@LennyAndToots we have waited until now because we wanted to be secure - last month both DH and I passed our probation periods for our jobs :)

@LennyAndToots I'm very financially minded so TTC was always put off until after honeymoon, after we have good savings behind us then this year it was going to be September to 1) let us do lots of things and 2) to help us save more. However lockdown came in and it made me think now is a good time to try as then any morning sickness might be covered under the furlough time as I've no idea when I'm back at work. People have always said to me if everyone waited until the could afford a baby then no one would have children and you just adapt and manage. I already have in my head that I'll be going back full time, hope the grandparents will split the childcare so only 1 day at nursery. I'm very financially minded so have worked out already how much it will cost to go to Florida when they are 11 so know how much we need to save each month 😂 my colleague who was pregnant asked when we were having one and I said I need to save up first and she said to save for mat leave as the pay is rubbish - as it is right now it would be better for my DH to do the leave instead of me. If that's what we have to do to ensure everything is paid, our child is healthy and well looked after then I would do it. There is so much to think about! Xxx

@Peach1204 @Poppyismyfavourite @Mrskcam thanks for your thoughts. Yes so much to think about!

I was just thinking that we can make it work as people with a lot less have children and financially me and my OH have combined earnings that is more than my parents and so I should be feeling ok. But... our outgoings are quite a bit and it's just made me have the wobble.

My partner and I would also have to consider him going part time rather than me as I earn more (or at least did before the cut!) and loads of people I know working part time, end up working on their day off anyway (in my office). I don't like that expectation!

@Mrskcam childcare is silly money - we just need to look forward to the child turning 3 (and then school) haha.

Hi everyone, had a busy weekend and only now had time to have a quick read through the thread.

@LennyAndToots I know what you mean about the money. We just bought a house, have much higher expenses than before because of the loan and there's a lot of concern around both our jobs about the impact of covid on the economy.

Still decided to go ahead with it. I agree with @Peach1204, it's never the perfect time and I think that even though some things are essentials, it's possible to have a baby without spending an absolute fortune. I looked up the estimated cost of having a baby online just to have a better idea and once we get that BFP I'll try to put together some kind of plan to gradually buy the things we need.

@Poppyismyfavourite ours is also a 'fixer upper'. Mostly just decoration though, which we have made a good dent in now. I've made one bedroom into a study, one will he storage for now/second spare bed, and the other is a spare bed. The main spare bed is opposite ours, so that would be the nursery (sounds ridiculous even suggesting that) as the other two are a floor above. I have to say, I haven't held back decorating because I don't know how much longer our journey will be, so I've decorated for now. We moved recently 600 miles away so we need at least one spare room ready for family to visit. If we ever become parents then I shall just re-decorate again!

We had dinner in the garden last night, and all I could wonder (as I drank my 0% alcohol wine) was if we would ever have children running around in it. I really hate this fucking tww. I wish Saturday would just come around and put me out of my misery. Spotted a couple of 'symptoms' again over the last few days, but I thought the same last month and the month before. How are you doing?

@SaraVB that's what I'm doing right now! I did it before when we were on furlough to make sure we were fine with our normal bills. Now just calculating it with a baby too! So organised! Just need the baby part now! 😂 xxx

@SaraVB I didn't realise you could look that up! Do you remember how much it would cost to have a baby?

I have a mini and I am half way through the finance payments (another expense I would like to drop!!) so I think my only option is a very expensive travel system given the size of those boots haha!

@Peach1204 Always good to be prepared!

@LennyAndToots I'm not sure I looked at a few... most of them give you a list of the most commonly wanted items and an idea of prices for each (inc. big items like cots and monthly costs for nappies and formula). Some of them just let you tick the boxes and calculates it for you. This wasn't one of the ones I referred to originally but it gives an idea.

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/blog/what-is-the-average-cost-to-have-a-baby

There are some amazing options.. but I had a look at some prices a few months ago when I was helping a friend pick hers out and they can get really expensive!

Does everyone avoid alcohol during their TWW? It's my first wedding anniversary today and I've had a little glass of prosecco for the last 2 days. Feeling a bit of guilt?
Told myself I wouldn't symptom spot but sore nipples and tummy twinges have started the last couple of days. I'm sure it's too early for anything just yet anyway 😂

Haha I feel like I've found my people, we're definitely planners, not the "leave it to chance" type at all!
We have similar set up from the sounds of it @Daffodil21 - currently doing up the spare bedroom next to ours, planning to paint it pale yellow, it has a double bed at the moment, but if we get lucky that'll be moved out!
that's a little premature though considering that babies sleep with you for 6 months though - even if we conceived now it'd still be over a year until it was needed as a nursery!

I'm really struggling with the TWW (and I'm not drinking and limiting caffeine). The silver lining is that if it doesn't work this month I can put a new roof on the garage - probably not a good idea to be lifting heavy stuff and fannying about balancing at heights pregnant...!

Wow I can't imagine spending £200 in the first month on clothes! That's what baby showers are for haha!

I feel like it is better not to focus on the £11k for the first year. I'm also surprised by that and kind of take these things with a pinch of salt. Buy what you need to but then everything comes little by little and your child will just become part of your life. Habits like meals out will become less like habits and the money will go towards your child.