Catching up - ttc after miscarriage part 3

[Annny27]

Setting up this new thread for all the lovely ladies who have been on the ttc after miscarriage journey. And also all the ladies who have had their bfps but still want to stay in touch:)

Will post this in the existing chat :D

@Fizzl I can completely relate, me and my friend I work with found out were pregnant really close together. She's 20 weeks now and everything going smoothly which of course I'm glad about but listening to her plan her maternity etc is really difficult because I would have been doing the same.

People say you can conceive much quicker after miscarriage, not sure how true this is. It took me nearly a year to conceive the first time and worried about it taking that or longer this time. Is it worth visiting the doctors to get advice or just something best left?

@Skb89 we conceived in two weeks first time. And now on month 6 without anything ...
It really depends on people.

Ah I love hearing everyone's stories! Everyone's circumstances are different. I met my husband many moons ago now when we were late teens. I went to uni but we stayed together. Bought our house at 23 and Married at 27.

@Skb89 sadly like Sunny has said it seems to be luck of the draw and there's no guarantee. I think there is some stuff that suggests your possibly more fertile after MC but that doesn't mean it will happen straight away. A few of us here had MC at the end of last year and are still trying. Many of the earlier posters have now gone on to get pregnant again within a few months so just seems pot luck! Your doctors probably won't do anything to be fair. There's no harm in asking if you've been trying again for a few months but they do say it's normal for it to take a year for a healthy couple. Which i know is not what you want to hear when you want it to happen now 😒

Evening :) 6dpo and feeling quite flushed - again couldn't nothing (as all my symptoms usually are:p)

@fizzl same - so nice to hear everyone's stories :D

I also met my husband when I was a teenager - feels so young when I think of it now - been together for a decade and am 28 now

@scrumdiddly123 that's lovely! Must have been hard but you have made a happy life for yourself and how amazing that your now husband took on your children 💗

@Dipsy77 wow that's a big age gap - are your oldee children more like aunties to your little one i guess! So sweet 💗

@Ejb86 would be nice to have an early ovulation!! Fingers crossed

@SunnySideUp2020 that sounds like a good manageable approach :) this ttc is so annoying trying to plan the best days haha

@Annny27 I wish they were, it's a long story but after been with their dad since I was 17 I left him when I was 40 for someone else something I never thought I'd do but I didn't do it lightly. My girls haven't spoken to me since although I've tried so hard to see them/speak to them they don't want to know which is very difficult and upsetting that they haven't met their sister. I still send gifts for birthdays and Christmas and constant messages although I'm blocked from their social media so only get updates through my mum. They still live at home so I'm hoping once they move out and become more independent they will come round and want to see us, sorry for rambling on xx

Is this positive?
Cd15 today
Femometer says highest high but not peak yet...

Need to go running now but obviously need to ask about opk first 🙄

Morning:D 7dpo half way through tww🙌

@sunnysideup2020 I would say that's about to turn peak within hours! Its very nearly there

@Dipsy77 awwh that's sad :( but hopefully they come around when they are older - one of my family members didn't speak to their dad from 18-35 and now they are all reacquainted

Back! Thanks anny ok will do another one tonight then..

@Dipsy77 i honestly felt heartbroken reading your story...
How old are you girls?
There was a time my brother didnt speak to my mum for 5 years and i can honestly say that even though it was his decision he was hurting himself doing it. But sometimes i think people have their own reality and feelings and the only way they can show their disagreement is by inflicting the silence treatment. I had to talk to my brother a few times to gently ask him to maybe try to have a conversation with my mum and he did. I am not going to lie things arent the same as before but it was a big relief for him. I hope that as you say when they are more independent they are going to realise what they are missing and will eventually speak to you again. It's such a shame...

@annny27 @Fizzl
Love that you met your husbands so early. It's so cute!! You grew up together and lived all these things 🥰

@scrumdiddly123 i actually was pregnant with my first love when i had just turned 17 but didn't have the courage to go through the pregnancy and motherhood. I think i was too immature. Looking back termination was probably a good choice then. My ex ended up cheating on me multiple times and we had such a destructive relationship... brought us in the darkest places until the age of 22.
But i always admire younger mums 😇
Must have been hard but you made it and now you have your happy little family with the person that's good for you x

I really like hearing about people's story too
Good distraction from the ttc as well...
Reminds me of the life beside the struggle

Fingers crossed @annny
You enter the maybe implantation phase!!
@fizzl good that the swabs are all ok. One thing you can rule out..

@SunnySideUp2020 they are 23 and 21 both very stubborn daddy's girls xx

@Dipsy77

Sorry for you all, that is a sad story. I relate to it personally. You should be proud you have raised young women with strong convictions and principles that will stand them in good stead for life, and hope that one day they will be able to forgive you for all your sakes. I will never feel the same about my mum but I definitely am glad to have made peace as an adult.

@SunnySideUp2020 that definitely looks almost positive to me! Great timing for you with your surgery etc.

@Dipsy77 that does sound hard. My parents separated when I was a teen. Back then I couldn't really understand it all as I do now. My parents were really not compatible and as an adult I can see why that relationship didn't work out and never would as they are so different. Hopefully your girls will see that too.

Well I've just had a call from the GP and I'm a little gutted. They've told me they think my period will just turn up again and to leave it another 2-3 MONTHS! They listed reasons why it can disappear: pregnancy (nope), polycystic ovaries (nope as scan in feb clear), sudden weight loss (I wish), sudden weight gain (maybe a lb or 2 since lockdown but nothing major and my weights always fluctuated around here), stress (nope) and menopause 😱 which he reassured me isn't happening based on my bloods in feb. He mentioned thyroid but also said this was fine. I questioned this and was told we're scraping the barrel trying to find something!! Which made me feel like I was being a bit of a drama queen. I was also asked if I was emotionally ready to try again and I could just feel myself getting worked up and upset at this point as they clearly just think I'm stressed and anxious and that's the reason.

Let's hope acupuncture works some miracles tomorrow 😔

@Fizzl really sorry to hear they are being so difficult. all that reasoning you could do yourself online... and it's so out of order to ask you if you are prepared emotionally... well obviously you are, otherwise this whole no period thing wouldn't bother you much would it?
It just looks like they are shifting the problem so they dont have to do any further investigations.
I guess you now have to wait 2 months at least. Yeah hopefully acupuncture helps 😌

@SunnySideUp2020 it did feel like he was reading the list I'd already read a million times from google about why you're period can disappear but none of it applies to me which is what I was trying to say and then was told we're scrapping the barrel which really got my back up 😑. The are you emotionally ready also wound me up as they clearly don't think I am. I did explain that we'd given ourselves 3months before trying again so did feel ready emotionally but it's the change in my cycle which is causing problems (regardless of whether I'd had a loss or not!). But I feel like they think the problem is me being stressed or anxious and not ready to try again yet which is bloody irritating when I know that's not the case!

I knew they'd be reluctant to do anything it's just frustrating. I knew this month was going to be tough anyway with it being our due date but to be in the position we are just sucks. I told my husband the other day I was disappointed we were still at square one in June, then rephrased it because I realised we're worse than square one right now, we're not even in the bloody square!

I'm hoping the acupuncturist will be a little more understanding. She seems lovely from the communication I've had with her so let's see what she can do with my confused uterus and apparent emotional unsuitability to conceive right now 😑

@Fizzl you are definitely not unsuitable to conceive emotionally.

You actually gave yourself time off the ttc to get better.
How many of us have actually waited three months to get back to it and make sure we are ready and have emotionally fully dealt with the mc? Not me personally.

So confused uterus ok. But i would definitely not say you aren't ready emotionally. You are maybe tired emotionally of your confused uterus and the not knowing what is happening and frustrated... sounds more like it to me.

Afternoon!

@fizzl whenever I talk to my doctors about miscarriage or fertility I feel myself getting chocked up, I think its a completely normal response to losing a baby!! Rude of your doctor to make you feel this way :(

Hopefully it comes soon - when I first started uni (18) and moved away I didn't have a period for 2 and a half months but I can say it was probably because of stress and anxiety of being away from home. Obviously at the time I thought "this is amazing no period" but if it happened now I would be anxious

@dipsy where are you with your cycle now?

My point is- dont let these people put doubt in your head 💕
Dealing with confused uterus is enough stress 🙄

Could you get a private scan maybe? To check ovaries and lining? Maybe see where you are?
I know in all of mine they see lining size and follicles on ovaries and corpus thing if i ovulated etc... maybe worth a try if it's not outrageous expensive?

was meant to tag you @Fizzl

@Annny27 I'm CD3 today x

I hope the acupuncture works for you @Fizzl

It’s nice to read all your stories when you met your other halves, I met mine at 17 , married at 22 and have now been together almost 10 years at 27.
I’m glad I waited until now to start a family. I have respect for young parents but I was definitely not ready when I was younger to be a mum.

I’ve totally given up on my clear blue ovulation tests. Sick of seeing that flashing smiley 😂 although I hope that it means that my hormones didn’t spike rather than I didn’t ovulate 🤞🏻 the human body is too confusing.

Using my cycles and dates I calculate that I’m around 7DPO. Similar to you @Annny27

Tomorrow would have been my due date so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that my heavenly baby will send me a happy healthy one this month!

Oh no @Fizzl that sounds like a terrible consultation. Ya likes sunny says is there any chance of you getting private scan or check up? Or change GP? What an insensitive thing to ask are you emotionally ready😡. Obviously he’s never endured any TTC stress himself, I’d have been so angry!! Not sure how the system is exactly in the UK/NHS for asking for referrals? I’m going private for my check up for the recurrent MC (Ireland) but referrals tend to be private here so they’re not slow to refer as it’s coming out of your pocket and not the government. Think public the waiting lists are months long though and would have had to have waited for a 3rd MC. 🤞the accupuncture works for you. My acupuncturist still isn’t back since covid but looking forward to going back when she does eventually reopen!
@Dipsy77 that’s really sad about your daughters. Hopefully with time they’ll understand not everything is as black and white as the world looks when you are young.

@Nuggetlover27 those flashing smileys are sooo frustrating after a while! I always did get a peak eventually but I think cause it takes so long for the smiley to even come up that it adds to the frustration. Hopefully you did ovulate anyways! I’m also CD6-7, not long left 😊

@SunnySideUp2020 that looks positive to me it if not then almost there. Did you do another this eve?

Thanks ladies. Was feeling a bit ranty and cheesed off when I posted this morning but feeling calmer and chilled again now 😂. I've just done a yoga video for pregnancy envy - felt quite apt!

@SunnySideUp2020 that's definitely it! My body not cooperating is what's causing the frustration and stress, it's not that I'm not ready. I feel 100% ready and that's the problem and why I want my body fixing so I can just crack on.

@Annny27 it's reassuring tho that you've been through similar and your period did return after a few months. My husband thinks it's the change in routine that's got something to do with it. I'm usually rushing around all over the place juggling jobs and life and I've barely left the house for 3 months so my body is probably just shocked by the sudden change.

@Leok83 and @SunnySideUp2020 yeah we can afford to go private so I think I might look into a scan just for reassurance to know what's happening. I'm going to a private clinic tomorrow for my acupuncture (same one where I had my scan that discovered MMC so I'm feeling a little torn about that one!) so I might ask whilst I'm there. Not sure what wait times are for nhs but I doubt there doing referrals yet with all the covid stuff still bubbling. I also don't think my GP surgery will make any referral now I've been told again to wait a few months 🙄.

Hopefully your acupuncturist will be back soon @Leok83. The lady I'm seeing has only just started back last week so I got in there quick before she booked up! I'm a little nervous as I have no idea what to expect.

How is everyone today?

Good luck today @Fizzl hope being in the same place doesn't bring up too many bad feelings for you.

@Leok83 🤞🏻 only a week(ish) left and we will know!

Morning :D

@Nuggetlover27 when do you plan on testing? I am 8dpo now and probably won't test until 12dpo earliest

@fizzl yeah its probably a mix of things! Are you still doing opks or given up now?

@Leok83 similar do to me then :D whens your appointment?

@SunnySideUp2020 have you ovulated now or still peak opk?

@Dipsy77 ahh not long till fw then!

Hello ladies

@annny27 i am still very much peaking- this is this morning. So guess ovulation tomorrow
Any symptoms for you?

@Fizzl good luck with your acupuncture and good idea to ask there about a scan x

@Nuggetlover27 fingers crossed your heavenly baby will bring you a little 🌈 x

Woke up very frustrated today. I am getting sick of being at DP s parents. The house is so dirty and messy and nobody cares - been trying to clean and tidy but i am just so tired of it now. Nobody cares. I feel like i am the clean freak when just asking for basic hygiene especially with all the animals.
I come from a house with lots of pets but my mum was taking care of them and everyone was helping and cleaning but here it's just not that family. People treat the house as a hotel. In and out. They dont mind living in a dump and having other people clean their mess. I am sooooo sick of it. Told DP i will take it for a bit longer but there might come a time when we will have to rent a place if we can't move as planned when this covid thing stops. He keels saying it's free accommodation but obviously it's affecting him too as he is like me with hygiene.
Honestly it is really affecting my mood and i dont wanna be stressed out but it's come to the point where i can't eat anymore downstairs it's so dirty.
So my day will be cleaning THEN eating and then dtd 😔

Oh yeah also struggling to dtd because people around all the time etc.. so dp said we will go away for ovulation next time.

Anyway sorry for ranting. Had to vent 😅