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Conception

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Original poster

TMI- possible two fathers

138 replies

NameChangedMarch · 01/03/2020 17:10

Hi all, I have name changed for this as I really need some help.

I am late on my period today by 2 days.

Conceived date was 13th Feb. I have a 28 day usual cycle, no problem. I am not on any contraception at the moment...

I had sex with this man I am seeing at the moment (man 1) he finished in me 3 times over the course of 1 day/ evening. I had been staying at his for a few days. 13th was the only day we had sex (3 times).

Man 2 (my ex) I stupidly slept with the next day but we used protection. I was stupidly quite drunk, but the next day he told me he had w**ked himself off, and then put his 'covered' fingers inside me... I will not tell you what my reaction was to that AngrySad

This was when he was doing something to me....

I know this sounds really, really bad but please don't judge me. I feel silly for even asking this but I need some advice. If I do not come on over the next few days I will of course take a test.

Obviously man 1 has the most chance... but he is a heavy smoker of 15 years, I hear that can reduce the sperm quality? Man 2 is a lot more healthier Sad

Thank you to anyone who has read this x

OP posts:
Beau20 · 09/03/2020 12:53

@NameChangedMarch don't be silly, it's totally fine to talk about these things. No-one will ever know how hard it will be to get pregnant again. I had a surgical termination at 17, conceived again without even trying at 25 which sadly I terminated. For me I think I just have a hormonal issue so having tests done to see why I am not convincing (I have but lost 2).

You've got to do what is right for you now. You will regret it at some point - that is natural. You just need to weigh up the benefits of having this child for the sake of having it and being worried about not having another. Or accept that this situation just isn't right and you will have your chance again in the figure. I'm sure you'll figure it out x

strivingtosucceed · 09/03/2020 13:06

OP, do the men know about each other? If not, and if you're serious about man 1, i'd suggest you take a step back to evaluate your relationship and determine why sex with man 2 happened. Otherwise this could absolutely happen again.

Idiotseverywhere · 09/03/2020 13:36

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PickwickThePlockingDodo · 09/03/2020 14:26

Hmmm, so are you 26 or 29 OP?

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 14:53

Well you have to be honest with man1 (and man2 for that matter), because what you did to him was pretty awful, you not only cheated but you also got pregnant as the result of sleeping with two men within a day and don't know who the father is.
Who does that to their partner?

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 09/03/2020 15:29

you also got pregnant as the result of sleeping with two men within a day

Hmm

I don’t know what sort of biology you were taught at school but this is hilarious.

Raleighx · 09/03/2020 15:37

And I’m assuming everyone giving OP grief is perfect and never made a mistake in their life? You don’t know anyone’s circumstances in their relationship.

Also she has stated she used protection with man 2..

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 16:36

@JuanSheetIsPlenty
English is not my first language. Was it not clear what I said? She had sex and got pregnant. Either man could be the father because it happened within a day near ovulation. What's so hilarious about that?

Also @Raleighx everyone makes mistakes but cheating is not just a mistake. It's a pretty shitty thing to do to someone.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 09/03/2020 16:49

What's so hilarious about that?

What’s hilarious is the assertion that a woman got pregnant as the result of sleeping with two men in one day.

Because it’s quite clearly rubbish. Sleeping with two men does not cause pregnancy. Sleeping with two men on the same day does not cause pregnancy. She is not pregnant because of the number or proximity of sexual partners she has had. You are attempting to slut shame.

kimchilove · 09/03/2020 17:03

I've name changed for this op for obvious reasons.

I got pregnant by the fingers covered in it method. I was young and desperate to keep my then boyfriend. Obviously I'm extremely ashamed of it now years on.

Anyway, short story was, he was not interested and disappeared. I had a termination. (Although then it was medical and it went wrong so a little different to your case.)

I've had years of fertility treatment and finally a miracle baby but had I desperately regretted having the termination for years.

But recently I've been thinking maybe it was the best as now I have dh and ds.

Just wanted to share with you. You're not alone, in fact what I did was stupid.

And I also completely agree that you should inform the police on that asshole. My suspicion is he's changed his story as he's realised how awful what he did was.

kimchilove · 09/03/2020 17:04

Oh and for those of you making such awful comments and passing judgement you need a bloody good shake. Angry

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 20:43

@JuanSheetIsPlenty Yeah that's not what I meant Hmm. Although you're right about one thing, I do think she should be ashamed of herself. Not because of the amount of sexual partners, but because one of those sexual partners was not just a booty call but someone she had been seeing and she went behind his back and had sex with her ex the next day. Yes, people should be shamed for cheating. Men or women.
Fuck (not literally) cheaters.

Namechange8471 · 09/03/2020 20:50

Don’t let anyone make you feel rubbish op, no one is perfect (apart from those on Mumsnet 🙄)
It’s perfectly reasonable to have a an abortion if that’s what you want, good luck ❤️

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 09/03/2020 20:54

Yeah that's not what I meant

Well then you should apologise because that’s exactly how it comes across.

FWIW- Op has stated that she didn’t cheat. Maybe try reading.

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 21:02

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JuanSheetIsPlenty · 09/03/2020 21:07

No I didn’t understand your point. You were trying to shame her for sleeping with two men. You can try and deny that all you want. And even if this turns out to be a troll the same goes for any other woman who has slept with two men in the same day. She has nothing to be ashamed of.

But if you think it’s a troll I advise you move on from the thread now.

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 21:13

@JuanSheetIsPlenty At least we agree that you didn't understand. Grin

OneTimePrepper · 09/03/2020 21:15

Surely you mean two possible fathers and not possible two fathers.

jazzibelle · 09/03/2020 21:38

Woah @MamaDane this is supposed to be a supportive place. You may feel a certain way based on your knowledge of her situation, but please don't leave it here. OP came here for advise, not judgement. Is there literally nowhere else to turn because even strangers on the internet are telling her to be ashamed. No-one is perfect, so be a bit kind hey?!

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 09/03/2020 22:07

At least we agree that you didn't understand. grin

We don’t. I very clearly meant “misunderstand”. Which you know.

BecauseReasons · 09/03/2020 22:12

So, you want a baby and were trying to conceive but are aborting this one in case it has the wrong father, despite the fact your fertility is possibly sub-par to begin with? If you want a baby regardless, why not just keep this one (and report Man 2 for rape)?

MagnoliaJustice · 09/03/2020 22:33

Don't terminate this pregnancy unless you are absolutely sure you don't want a baby. If you are 29, with reduced fertility, you may not conceive again or it could take years. Think very carefully about what you want.

Raleighx · 09/03/2020 23:58

Seeing someone does not mean they are exclusive! Maybe they have never had that conversation and maybe man 1 has also been seeing other people. To come somewhere for genuine advice and get people saying that she should be ashamed I think is disgusting.

To make the decision to have an abortion is devastating enough. I guess OP knows how reckless they have been. People are so quick to get on their high horse.

Really hope this is not a trolling post. No idea what someone would get out of it...

WanderingTrolley1 · 10/03/2020 02:09

If I get BFP it's not the end of the world and I would be happy.

Why the decision to terminate, then?

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 10/03/2020 08:57

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