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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

TMI- possible two fathers

138 replies

NameChangedMarch · 01/03/2020 17:10

Hi all, I have name changed for this as I really need some help.

I am late on my period today by 2 days.

Conceived date was 13th Feb. I have a 28 day usual cycle, no problem. I am not on any contraception at the moment...

I had sex with this man I am seeing at the moment (man 1) he finished in me 3 times over the course of 1 day/ evening. I had been staying at his for a few days. 13th was the only day we had sex (3 times).

Man 2 (my ex) I stupidly slept with the next day but we used protection. I was stupidly quite drunk, but the next day he told me he had w**ked himself off, and then put his 'covered' fingers inside me... I will not tell you what my reaction was to that AngrySad

This was when he was doing something to me....

I know this sounds really, really bad but please don't judge me. I feel silly for even asking this but I need some advice. If I do not come on over the next few days I will of course take a test.

Obviously man 1 has the most chance... but he is a heavy smoker of 15 years, I hear that can reduce the sperm quality? Man 2 is a lot more healthier Sad

Thank you to anyone who has read this x

OP posts:
Lillipop87 · 02/03/2020 16:13

It sounds like you have a good relationship with the first man and if you think he would be happy to do the sperm count test for u and it would help to put your mind at ease then go for it! Hope it all works out for you op. X

Lynda07 · 02/03/2020 16:20

The chances of the father being man2 are negligible, forget him. Man1 is the daddy. Now what do you want to do, do we congratulate or commiserate?

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 16:42

@Lynda07 definately congratulate... thank you. How can you be sure it wasn't man 2? God I wish I could wave a magic wand just to find out Sad

If I knew for sure... I would literally be jumping for joy right now.

Man 2 we had sex but with protection, man 1 was without 3 times in one day. Only issue with man 2 was I think he isn't telling the truth with the 'cum' on fingers (sorry) it's just so ridiculous.

Thank you everyone Thanks

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 02/03/2020 16:53

OP, why on earth are you taking such a cavalier attitude to contraception? You had sex three times on day 13 - surely you know that's your most fertile period?

Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 02/03/2020 17:40

@HollowTalk I said the exact same thing but my comment was ignored.

Sex 3 times without protection at your most fertile isn’t a surprise that OP is pregnant.

Congratulations thought I’m glad you’re happy.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 17:49

@Izzybuzzybuzzybees I have not ignored, I didn't see your original post.

Getting pregnant was not a concern, with man 1 it's the not knowing that I am not dealing with very well....

I don't really know how else to put it Sad

OP posts:
Cally70 · 02/03/2020 18:09

You say you're closer with man 1 but how is he going to feeling that man 2 is potentially in the running?

Raizelrea · 02/03/2020 18:10

At home insemination success rates are only 10-15% (compared to the 20-30% chance you get with regular intercourse) - and that's when everything is done right, i.e. a large sperm sample is inserted as close to your cervix as possible using a syringe. I think it's very very unlikely to be man 2.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 18:12

@Cally70 I know and that's what I am worried about.

I may have to look at some different options. I have a lot of thinking to do Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 18:15

@Raizelrea thank you for your response. I guess in the back of mind, there is always that chance.

Wish I could know for sure thank you.

OP posts:
Winterlife · 02/03/2020 18:19

Assume it's man 1, proceed on that basis, and have a DNA test after the baby is born. Don't admit anything until you know the results of that test.

PotteringAlong · 02/03/2020 18:23

It only takes one sperm so sperm count tests are irrelevant.

You need a DNA test. It could genuinely be either of them.

PotteringAlong · 02/03/2020 18:24

And take an STI test too.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 18:38

Thanks all, so many different opinions. I will have a good think what to do this week.

OP posts:
tiggertogger · 02/03/2020 18:42

This reply has been deleted

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A08x · 02/03/2020 19:14

Wow @tiggertogger what a horrible comment to make! I am sure OP will make a fantastic mother if that’s what she decides to do. “Surprise” children happen all the time in all different circumstances with great outcomes!!!

@NameChangedMarch I don’t have any advice that hasn’t already been said, but good luck with whatever the outcome and whatever you decide to do Xx

HollowTalk · 02/03/2020 20:06

If you are sleeping with another man as well as man A, I think you are being ridiculous to say getting pregnant wasn't an issue. You're clearly not ready to have a baby with someone if you're shagging another man the day after.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:11

@HollowTalk I get that... I really hope you're perfect and have never made a mistake in your life to pass judgement on me like that Hmm Jeeze

OP posts:
OrangeJ · 02/03/2020 20:17

I’m not giving any advice as I think you’ve probably had enough by now! I just wanted to say sorry for all the awful comments - just ignore them if you can. People can be horrible sometimes. Nobody here knows you or your situation so should stop being so judgmental.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do Flowers

YellowFlower22 · 02/03/2020 20:17

I think OP realises she has made some misjudgment and asked for help. Think some people should try and be a little kinder.
@NameChangedMarch you can't change the past and what has been done, I'm sure yourll make a great mother and will do what right for you baby and father. I think as another poster mentioned take a week or two and talk to both. I do personally feel man no. 1 is more likely but understand it must be playing on your mind.

SirVixofVixHall · 02/03/2020 20:25

Almost certainly man 1. Sex three times while you are ovulating, versus a possibly contaminated finger grope. It would be astonishing if it was man 2.
Do you know when you ovulated ?

SpokeTooSoon · 02/03/2020 20:25

Your attitude’s all a bit shits and giggles isn’t it OP?

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:27

@SpokeTooSoon what do you mean? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:28

Thank you @OrangeJ Thanks

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Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:31

@SirVixofVixHall I did have sex whilst I was ovulating, the 'finger grope' was a day after also.

Man 2 is younger than man 1, also healthier... potentially better sperm HmmBlush

I can only see... thanks for all your comments x

OP posts: