Got a BFP, not sure how I feel and DH isnt going to be happy

[hogwarts]

I've also posted on the pregnancy board.

My period was late and yesterday I did a Pg test and got a BFP. DH and I have discussed another child, we have 2 already 5 & 8 and he was very much against it although I was very keen. We agreed that we wouldnt have another child and concentrate on our relationship. Circumstances at the min are not great financially although we had DS when I was 21 so not great timing then either! I havent told him that I have done the test but did tell him yday that it was very late - he has said constantly I hope you aren't pregnant. A bit of background is that DH had an affair 3 years ago and we seperated for 9 months. We are now very much together and have a stronger relationship, I'm just so scared that he will take this news badly and leave as he has been texting me all morning to tell me to get a test and do it and that he is worried sick that it is going to be BFP. I asked him this morning if he loved me which he answered yes, I asked him if he would still love me if I was pg and he said yes but he really did not want another child. I know this may seem insensitive of me when there are so many people trying very hard to conceive, its just such a very very big shock to me. Part of me is so pleased but the rest is shocked/scared/worried about DH reaction. I had my mirena coil out earlier this year, been on Cilest pill since. I am due to be bridesmaid at my brother and SIL wedding next March, by my reckoning I will be around 7 months pg by then - I'm due to go for the first fitting on Thursday - do I tell them or not, I dont want them to pay any money when I know I wont be able to do it but then again as I am only 4/5 weeks I dont want it made public....

What a pickle I'm in .... Please help

I'm so thrilled for you and glad all is well. Congratulations! When are you due?

I'd also like to say congrats to expat I saw your news on another thread I was browsing on, congratulations to you too!

Now, if only my DH was as chuffed about my news as yours are about yours then all would be ok with the world.

have you talked to him about this again yet Hogwarts?

Hogwarts - only 6+5 today but I feel much more hopeful now . The scan pic shows EDD of 21st June! Thanks again for coming in my handbag - sorry about the snotty tissues!!

NOW.....I've just caught up with the thread and I just wanted to say I LOVE the idea of giving you H a choice - turning it on him! I also know you'll be just fine and you just can't go ahead with a late termination as you DON'T WANT TO!!! What's not helping right now is your hormones and before you shout at me for saying that (as I shout at my dh when he says that )....remember I have them atm so I feel I can say that Seriously......I've got myself in such a state recently about things, convinced myself I'd lost the baby etc. and I was wrong, all is fine. You are convinced you can't do this alone but I just KNOW you can if you have to. Obviously it would be nice for H to become a DH again and for him to change his mind, and maybe he will in time like Susie's dh BUT if he doesn't, seriously, he's not worth being with. You WON'T be ok in your relationship if you terminate so I don't see why you'd even think that now. It really is as clear cut as that I'm afraid. The ONLY way you may be ok in your relationship is if you go ahead with this baby and then he may come round. Otherwise the relationship is over anyway. Just keep telling yourself that - you have NOTHING to loose hun!!!

And please, please, please tell your mum. When are they back? Please tell her asap, I'm sure it will really really help to sort your head out!

I can't stop thinking about you and your situation and I just hope you do talk to your mum as you really need that RL support and a great big hug! Just remember how supportive your family were when he had the affair!!

Take care hun xxxxx

Hi Hogwarts

Just wanted to say good luck in telling your mum this weekend. I really do hope that she will be supportive and understanding.

I don't want to sound nosy but do let us know what happens.

Hi Hogwarts, just wanted to wish you luck this weekend in speaking with your mum, remember to take that handbag with you as we'll all be there again

Thanks Looney and fulltimemum. I don't think you sound nosey at all, just kind.

On that note, can I just say the biggest thanks in the world to whoever it was who put my name forward for a secret santa present. I hadn't heard of it, tend only to read this board and another few so when I got an email from MNHQ last night, asking me for my name and postal address I have to say I was absolutely overwhelmed, so overwhelmed that I sat and cried for over an hour. I cannot believe the act of kindness that you have shown (as you all have) to me, someone that you don't know. Thank you so so much, it really touched me and its lovely to know that there are people out there thinking of me. I hope that in the future I am able to show and return the same kindness that you have shown to me.

That's so lovely, I hadn't heard of it on hear either but you definitely deserve it

How are you anyway? When is your mum back? I can't stop thinking about you and I'll feel so much better when I know you've spoken to your mum, I'm sure it will help you no end by talking to her! xxxx

On 'here' I meant

Hogwarts,
that is lovely, I have heard of the the Secret Santa and I am pleased that someone put your name forward. This kind of thing is the very best bit of MN I think.

Good luck this weekend with your Mum

Btw,
In case anyone would like to nominate or donate to the Mumsnet Christmas Appeal, here is the link. The wonderful Littlelapin is organising everything.

thanks, hogwarts!

good luck telling your mum this weekend.

Hiya Hogwarts. Just been catching up - wanted to wish you luck for telling your mum this weekend & glad the secret santa helped cheer you up during such a rotten time

Like the others have said please don't feel that you're letting us down when you 'dither' - we're all here to give you support & help you work out what you want & what will be best for you & in your situation dithering is completely understandable.

Hi Hogwarts, been holding thums all day and to be quite honest they are starting to hurt! Have you told your mum yet and how did she respond??? Tell me if i'm being to nosy!!! I do hope you could tell her and I hope even more that she surprised you in her reactions.

Please come on and tell us so that I can let go of my thums!

Hope you had a great weekend. Enjoy what is left of it.

Hi Hogwarts.

I have been following your thread but haven't posted before.

I am another who just wants to offer support to you in any way possible.

I am in NI too, I'm in Co.Antrim if that's near where you are & if you would want to meet for a coffee anytime I am sure we could organise it. I have a 5 yr old & a 2 year old.

I think you're a very very brave woman & I do think you will get through this & come out the other side fighting fit.

If I can help in any way, even just a listening ear, let me know xx

Hi Hogwarts

Still thinking of you and I hope everything went well over the weekend.

Me too. Just popped in to make sure you're ok xxx

Hi hogwarts. Hope all is ok with you. You have been in my thoughts xx

hope you had a good weekend, hogwarts!

Hogwarts (looking around) where are you?????

Its ok Hogwarts come out its only us....please

Oh goodness, I hope she hasn't stayed away because she recognises me??

My pic is in my profile, so Hogwarts if you know me & would rather I didn't post on here, or you know me & don't want to say who you are, that's fine.

Please let the others support you as much as they have been doing.

XOXO

just wanted to say hi

am still in your bag

still have fingers x'd for you.

I'm here, sorry havent around -between kids and DH I never seemed to get a chance to get on.

Its ok Fireflyfairy2 - I don't know you, you can stay!!

Will come back later and chat, bit tearful at the min but wanted to let you all know I haven't been abducted by aliens (unfortunately!)

Hi Hogwarts

Great to hear from you, glad you're still around. Hope you have a great day!

Awaiting your next post.

Thanks

Hope you're well xo