TTC for the Over 40s

[birthdaycake]

The first thread I've ever started.

Me age 41 and TTC since mmc in June. Anyone else out there.

hi ladies, I would like to join this thread if that's ok?
I will be 43 in a couple of months. I have 4 DC aged 3,4,6 & 8 I have been TTC my last baby for approx 17 months, I m/c last April and again in October so obviously worried about the 'age thing'
I was recently prescribes fluoxetine 20mg (prozac)and the mini-pill (nearly a week ago) although I,m not taking the mini-pill!! I have been worried about taking the prozac while I am TTC but will definately stop it as soon as I get my BFP!

cece I forgot to say, when my Doctor knew I was TTC he was really nice about it and said that I was not too old to have a baby, (that was before I was prescribed the AD's) and when I visited a woman Doctor, 17 months ago, she told me that 'most women's 'bodies are designed to produce babies up until their mid 50's! I believe that society dictates too much, when it comes to older women having babies! Your Doctor should be ashamed of herself (especially since she is a woman!)There can be risks and complications with any pregnancy regardless of how old you are, there is no reason why a young '41' year old should not have a healthy baby if the mum is looking after her self. I hope you change your Doctor soon!!

She is very nice really and she said it all in a nice way iyswim.

I think part of it was because only a few weeks before DH had had to drag me to see her due to the emotional effects of losing our baby. She was really lovely then and very supportive. I think she just wanted to make sure I knew what I could be letting myself in for.

The mc was at 18 weeks and she had been high risk of Downs (at 12 week screening). I am waiting for test results to see if she was a Downs baby. If so that will increase the chances of another one, or so the GP said.

I think she just wanted me to be sure of our decision.

cece ooh sorry hun, she knows you better than I do. She's probably just thinking of your emotional state at the moment, maybe she thinks it would be better for you to grieve for a while before TTC? There's not many of us on m/n that I am aware of who really give themselves time to grieve after a m/c, I think alot of women(myself included) believe that the pain will be easier if we become pregnant again quickly. anyway hun, you do what ever you want to, and don't let anyone bully you, it's your life, and if you feel ready to TTC again then go for it.

Thank you for your support Hedge and Georgially and welcome to Cece and Emmsy!!
I do really appreciate the positive input - any difficulties in conceiving are tough at any age, and when you know the odds are piling up... arrgh!
it was good to hear that hormonally I am OK and there isn't any problem in that area. Hopefully, I will be able to get in for the HSG test soon and see how that looks. The doctor was fairly convinced that I would have some tubal blockage, which, I think is why he was pushing us to consider IVF. We will just have to wait and see how that goes.
I had an internal scan when I went last week and the doc spotted an ovarian cyst on each ovary, so he wants me to have another 21 day progesterone test and a repeat scan in a month, to make sure I am definitely ovulating.
Is anyone taking any supplements, to aid conception? Or tried acupuncture?

Hi all

I'm taking the GP plunge tomorrow, and wondered what I tests I should ask him for.

(Bit of history - 42, have had 4 mcs in the past three years, conceived all of those within a few months, but it's been nearly a year since the last mc and, natch, time is running out)

I've had my LSH and FSH done, twice, and they were both good - about 4, I think. I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating, as I get all the EWCM business, and a temp increase at the right moment. The only thing I can think of is that my tubes have got blocked, somehow. Or, of course, that all my eggs are knackered.

Rowingboat - I had been having acupuncture, which did make me more relaxed, but made no discernible difference to my cycle. In fact, it's more regular since I stopped, but that could just be coincidence...

rowingboat lets hope you can find out if your tubes are ok soon I think that its terrible that you should have to pay that amount for IVF, is there no way that you can get it free of charge on the NHS?
3 of my pregnancies I used Agnus Castus to regulate my menstrual cycle, although I am not taking it now. Some of the other ladies on one of the other threads are taking Evening Primrose oil, that may be a good choice, anyway I wish you all the luck in the world x
herebaceous after I had my second m/c one of the nurses told me to ask my Doctor to prescribe me 5MG of Folic acid. Apparently one of the Doctors (Mr Ellard from Arrowe Park Hospital on the Wirral) had been doing some research in to m/c and was prescribing his ladies 5MG of folic acid instead of the standard 5 micrograms, I don't know if this will help but my Doctor prescribed it for me! good luck

I have just read through the back pages and now realise that I haven't really a clue about conception other than using an ovulation calendar.

Have just finished a weeks worth of bonking and seriously need a rest now. Can I safely wait for another month and how soon do you feel pregnant?
I managed to conceive dd when very drunk and the one time I did not use contraception. I think I may be deluded into thinking that it will happen as quick again.

Tried the drunk route once again but hangovers are so not good with a toddler.I have not spoke to my GP yet, however she is lovely and will only be pleased for us, although she will tell me to lose weight.
I have been taking pro/post natal vitamins which I used before and felt they definitely aided my well being.

Hello ladies
I'm crashing here because I'm not quite 39, but wanted to say something about vit pills. We have DD who is now 1 - mixed bag of tribs before she arrived but hey ho - when we were ttc I took Pregnacare tablets (Bvits good for cycle reg, if I can remember) AND I had DH on Wellman vits (zinc, selenium, vit E - all good for sperm health - I think?) and he's just turned 44 . I got him these after he complained I was force-feeding him brazil nuts . All these things I'm sure you can get from a really good diet, but sometimes not always poss to eat great, and you can get them 3for2 from Boots sometimes.
Hope to try for no.2 maybe this summer, so see you around maybe unless you graduate to the ante-natal threads - which I hope you do fairly shortly
Also, spent ages charting temps/having investigations etc, but once that was done and confident there were no obvious problems, decided to not pay too much attention and plan strategic holidays around middle of cycle when we could get away from it all and relax - on third of which is when she was conceived. I really believe that too much attention paid to ttc = anxiety = not good for baby-making.
Wishing you all well and preggars xxxx

Hi everyone, I did not get a chance to log on for a couple of days and missed all the news, great to see this thread so active.

Herbaceous did you get on ok at the Doctor, are they going to do a scan to look at what might be the problem ?

Rowing Boat I had a cyst on my left ovary which has been checked twice through internal scan and they say it is normal fluid filed and will dissapear by itself.... makes you wonder though after endless TTC whether it is affecting anything.

cece, I was v worried about talking to Doctor as he of the more old fashioned GP persuasion ! but he was actually very nice and told me to buy an OPK to make best use of the peak time each month and wished me luck. He said to come back in 3 months (had been trying 5 before going) to get DH tested if no luck, after this cycle it will be time and not looking forward to making him take the test but it is his turn

Hi to everyone I didn't mention

Hi all, hope everyone is well. I just thought I would post an update about the HSG today.
First of all, the staff were in general, very helpful - all except one. There was a lady in a blue outfit, don't know what the significance of the colour was. I was a bit confused about the changing rooms and she treated me as if I should know where everything is and seemed to be annoyed about my confusion. I had to put on a yucky, backless gown and was trying to carry my clothes and bag with difficulty into the x-ray theatre, when she snapped 'haven't you got a basket?'. I said I didn't see one in the tiny changing room, so she went and looked anyway, as if I wouldn't have known what a basket looked like .
As if people are nervous enough in these situations, it really doesn't help to be made to feel silly and treated like an annoying child.
The HSG was fine and revealed that the right tube is clear, but the left tube has a blockage of some sort. The doc said he could attempt to unblock the tube, but only if we ruled out IVF in the immediate future. So that's it for now.
It's day 10 of my cycle, and I am wondering which side will be ovulating? Is there anyway to find out?
I have read that there is a type of massage that can clear blockages, so I might start a thread to see if anyone has tried?? Or I suppose I could start hot-wiring cars to raise some money for IVF.
How are you getting on Hedge?
Georgially, I found it easier to be tested than to broach things with my DP - I thought he might be more 'sensitive' to a negative result - poor old boy. Luckily, he is not the problem.

rowingboat I hate it when you go to places and they expect you to know what to do but have not explained it does that make sense?

I just googled ovulation and which side? but couldn't find anything helpful. But at least you have one tube open and I sure I read something that sometimes just squirting the dye up can clear out a little blockage.
I'm doing OK lots of twinges which send me knicker checking but I was sick for the 1st time today which I am taking as a positive sign !!!!

I know! It's ridiculous isn't it, when you are stressed and they talk to you as if you are an irritation. Grr!
We are on day 12 and I really haven't felt much like bding after that flipping dye all over the place. HSGs not conducive to bding. Better get on with it!

I've not read all the messages, but I had first dc at nearly 38 and ds at 41 (dh 10 years older so 60 in 2 weeks - gulp!) & no problem conceiving either time - only trouble was convincing dh that it was a good idea! Ds 'popped out' very quickly, with no time for any pain relief and weighing in at 10lb 2 1/2oz, which I hope should be a real inspiration to all wannabe over-the-hill mums!

Rowingboat, at least you have an idea of what is happening now, but sorry you met the irritating lady in blue ! I remember one of the scans i had when the lady doing the scan asked why I would want a baby at 40 years of age and I felt like yelling 'I am still young ' even though I a know I am not really..

I am very nervous about DH being tested hence putting it off, as I know he would not be able to cope as well as me with it all.

Hedgepig, glad all is going well, I guess this is the one time to be happy about sickness !

overthehill thank you for the positive message

Hi everyone, how are you all getting on??
I am now on day 15 of my cycle and this is not the one. We managed to bd once over the past five days. The HSG was quite uncomfortable and I had bleeding and dye for days after - which really didn't help. I think DP is feeling a bit under pressure, because we have had so much, 'interference' this month, kind of shining a spotlight on us. He managed to be out and busy quite a lot.
I do feel for you Georgially, about your DH. I didn't push it with my DP for the same reason, and he only managed to get one sperm sample in, when he was supposed to take two - just kind of procrastinated. On the other hand, at least it rules in or out that aspect of the whole thing. I got a bit cross in the end because I had been for two blood tests and seen a couple of GPs before we got to the fertility clinic, so kind of thought, if I can do all this, why can't you get a bloomin' sperm sample to the hospital with months of notice.

Bumping for the over 40's.
AF was due about 3 days ago however cycle all over the place of late. Some-one at work read my horoscope last month and said the 26 Feb. will bring the news I have been waiting for!, not that I am superstitious, however I will aim to wait until then to test, but it is driving me bonkers.Not sure if I feel pregnant, I was 7 weeks with dd before I cottoned on. However soon after that I had every symptom known to womenkind and the rest.
Only 7 days to go.

Fingers crossed for you giggly

I've not been on for a while as I'm getting quite down about it all, I think I'm the oldest on here (45 in a couple of months) and time is creeping on.

I came on yesterday after convincing myself that I had morning sickness for the last week.

I need to know when to stop, dh is more philosophical than me about it, says if it happens it will be wonderful (he is stepdad to our three) and we know that the chances are that it won't, but when I was talking last night about not wanting another baby born November/December (two of our three and his birthday are all within a month of Christmas) he didn't seem to understand what I was saying and is talking about stopping after our holidays - August!!

It's the 'I'll give it one more month' and 'next month may be the one', we can't go on forever but how do you decide that's it and you are stopping?

I really hate this

Hi. I've been lurking for ages. Where has everyone gone? I'm 41 and have been trying for #2 for 4.5 years. One of my tubes is blocked and I'm waiting for an apt to have it unblocked. Please don't let me be the one to have killed a thread!

Hi Blessed2, no we are all still here I am sure. We are just sporadic posters ! I have stayed away for a bit as was suddenly surrounded by pregnant women of varying ages popping up all over the place literally from 18 - 42. Was feeling a bit down but feeling less sorry for myself this week .

Decided to try to relax and through away the OPK this month but bought a thermometre instead. This I am a lost cause !

Lilibet - its a dilema isn't. Maybe you don't really ever have to 'stop' but I really feel for you needing to make that decision. I feel lucky being only a couple of months from 41 but the stress is hard as I worry I will never have any children at all...

Rowingboat you sound like you read my mind as its how I feel !

Giggly hope for some goods news in a couple of days !

Hi again everyone. Sorry I have been off for ages, I do still read the posts quite often though.
Georgially, has your DH done his test yet?
Sorry Viksam, I meant to reply to you ages ago. I have had a card with an appointment in June or something - must check! I don't know if it is actually related to the HSG, or just another chance for the doc to plug IVF. At the moment I am pretty much a definite 'no' for IVF - the odds are too low for the money and if it takes a few cycles to work we are talking a lot of money. I just couldn't take on that amount of debt and jeopardise my little boy's financial security. If we end up conceiving or adopting, we will need the money for the new child. This means it is likely I will have to ask about having the tube cleared.
The doc told me at the actual HSG that he would recommend clearing the blockage if we didn't go for IVF. The only problem is there is a risk of further scarring if I go ahead with surgery, and this is probably the cause of the current blockage.
It's very tricky, isn't it?
I had another 21 day progesterone test and am due to go back to the hospital for another scan, to check the cysts, but I am not sure if I need to make the appointment for the scan, or if he will check for the cysts in June??
Is it me, or is the whole thing a bit confusing?
In the meantime I have been looking up herbal supplements to see if there is anything that might help. I like the look of ginseng - it might make it a bit easier to do the bding around ovulation time, because it supposedly increases the libido.
Sorry, that was an essay.
On a positive note, my AF is due on Monday and I am feeling quite positive about March being a good month. So fingers crossed!!!

hello ladies, I haven't been on this thread for a while, but just wanted to let you know that I got a BFP on feb 13th!! I will be 43 in April so just wanted to bring a bit of good news to this thread! and just in case there's anyone interested am just about to sprinkle some baby dust! There you go happy B/D x

Congratulations Emmsy - wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Update from me:

Have decided that I really have to stop being so half hearted and pull out all the stops if I am to conceive. I turn 42 this year and really am running out of time. Luckily my partner is a few years younger which might help!
We had to put the TTC on hold for a while as he was working overseas but once he returns next week he won't know what's hit him.
I've also made the big decision to give up booze and caffeine. I'd always refused previously as I enjoy the odd glass of wine and cuppa - probably average 2 cups of tea a day (don't drink coffee) and maybe 6 glasses of wine a week. But now I think that even if that's only affecting my chances of conceiving by 2% why not just remove that hurdle and give them both up? So from tomorrow no wine and no tea.
Have also bought some Pre-seed and am going to start taking Wheatgrass juice too.
I made the decision a long time ago that I wasn't prepared to put my body through IVF - so it's natural or not at all.
Good luck to all you other older ladies out there. Let's hope Emmsy's BFP is going to be one of many.

You know - nobody at the Gyno clinic explains anything to me and I'm 41 ... I have to learn everything here. I'm waiting for an apt to uunblock my tubes but no one has told me about any chance of scarring!!!! Why is everything a big hurdle? Any way enough of that! CHANGE OF SUBJECT. I had a Clearblue Fertility Monitor but got discouraged after 6 months (plus it costs so much for the sticks) but now I find myself hankering after another one.... should I go the Clearblue route or should I go the Persona route? Any suggestions or comments lurkers?