TTC for the Over 40s

[birthdaycake]

The first thread I've ever started.

Me age 41 and TTC since mmc in June. Anyone else out there.

I've got big black rings under my eyes to add to that list!

Juicy and mistlethrush - I've just had a look at your profiles - you both have exceptionally cute boys!!

[smug] emoticon ! Thanks

hi lilibet, i use clearblue fertility monitor and try to take temp whenever i can remember! which is not often...

and cervical mucus as well. my poor cervix has been through a lot of prodding and poking

it is dy5 for me. i am not a particular positive person, so am finding it hard to keep positive! i think i should just try forget about ttc and just go BD as much as i can!

Temping was going to be my next step the first time I was TTCing, but luckily I got pg! I would be rubbish at remembering especially post baby where my memory is even more rubbish than it was before

Thanks Lilibet. I think he's gorgeous

HI everyone, haven't been on here for a while.

Well we are officially ttc this month. I am CD 16 and usually ov about day 18 so guess what we are up to later . Plus got a gynae appointment tomorrow, was referred due to very painful periods after having Hope in December. Not sure what to expect. Has anyone been for this reason?

Hi again, I had a look at the lovely boys, and they are gorgeous little chaps!
It's lovely having a little boy isn't it!
I remember before I had DS, I had wanted to have a girl, because I thought I would 'get' a girl better, but I am so in love with my little boy, he is such a lamb. Now I don't really mind if I have another boy or another girl, but I would secretly like a little sister for DS.
Has anyone got any names tucked away in their head for future babies?? I have a girl and a boy name, but I keep thinking of other options.
Oh and we are on day nine, so time to get busy for us. I am kind of aiming for the the every other day bd, but it probably won't happen.

RB - yes, very happy with ds. Before I got pregnant I wanted a girl. Whilst I was pregnant I gradually changed, and ended up veering slightly towards a boy as we have 2 nieces, and we had agreed on a boy's name too. I wouldn't say that mine was a 'lamb'... at times, perhaps, yes, but really reminds me more of a puppy - including lots of physicality, running and crashing around, mud, mess, food and sleep! Still miss having a dd who would very occasionally wear something pretty and cute rather than jeans and a rugby shirt, so a dd if there is a 2nd would be good in some ways, although perhaps a ds would stand up to ds1's exuberance a bit better! And, of course, we would need very few new clothes if we had ds!

i love my DS too and wanted a boy. for second child, we would like a girl, but if it is a boy, then we would be equally happy. tbh, not sure what i would do with a girl!

Same here, wanted a girl and now can't imagine life without my little gripster. I would really like a girl second time round, as the clothes options are more interesting, and it would be nice not being the only female in the family, but honestly would be just as happy with a boy.

I've set my expectations higher and I've got possible names for twins -1 boy and 1 girl - of course

Gosh you're brave! When I did yoga when pregant there was a girl in her 20s who turned up expecting triplets, conceived naturally - and she'd been told that she should expect bed rest from 18 to 20 weeks for the remainder of the time she could carry them. Now that must have been a shock!

I'm another who would like a daughter , but it always seems wrong to have a preference.

For those of you who don't know, i already have three - does that make me sound greedy? I had them when I met dh, and he is the msot wonderful step dad, if this happens he will say it's his fourth and it is IYKWIM.

We ahve now been together 6 years and decided quite early on that we didn't need any more children, ours were (are!) a handful and we were quite settled. Then after we had been back from our holidays for about a fortnightlast year, I realised that I hadn't had a period since we had got back, then I thought about it and realised that I hadn't had one while we were away either!

Then I started with cramp in the night which is about as certain as a blue line on a stick! Panic set in as we had no room, no money and I was 44. Then I came round to the idea, and then of course it appeared that it wasn't going to happen.

but then I was set on the idea and so here I am. Because of our position, I am not that bothered if it doesn't happen and dh keeps saying that it will be lovely if it does but if it doesn't we are just lucky with what we have.

We have:-

Elizabeth Grace - 19
Joseph Alexander - 14
David Alistair - 11

I woudl like a girl as I have more than served my time on football touchlines in winter - . Both boys are on teams and both usually play on a Sunday morning so it's no lie in and both of us out to different pitches.

Have I picked names? I've picked names, prams, everything!!

Day 24 today

I knooow! I still look at prams online. I'm so sad, I hide the window from DP, he would think I was a lunatic.
I must admit I am guilty of buying quite extravagant, but very cute clothing for DS, like Miniman or Catimini, but usually on Ebay so much cheaper than the shops. But now he is getting bigger he will have to wear more grown-up stuff, wah!
I really would be happy with either sex, but I think it would be nice for DS to have a little sister, just because I have an older brother and it was a really nice thing for me. I love having an older brother, he has always looked out for me. We did used to fight and would have play fights which could be quite rough, but I used to think it was hilarious.I kind of like big brothers, so it would be nice for DS to become one.
I think I can usually tell when a bloke is an older brother or a younger brother. My DP is a younger - and you really can tell, he has been indulged, but is very charming.
I think I was a real handful when I was a child, but my brother was more angelic. So I would expect a girl to be more independent and prone to tantrums and talking back oh, and climbing up enormous climbing frames, which is the opposite of DS.
I have noticed in a lot of playgrounds that the tiny girls are the ones who can whiz up a cargo net or ladder, whereas my DS gets stuck on the first rung.
Good luck for this month Lilibet!
Twins would be great Blessed! Save having to worry about going through this again - a nice ready made family. You don't fancy triplets then?

Triplets no way >

I already have one of eachso not realy bothered if I were to have a boy or girl. Of course Hope was a girl but sadly didn't make it.

hello, can I join you? Have been lurking for awhile! I am 40 (41 in August) and have 3 dcs aged 11, 9 and 2 1/2. Last month I got an unplanned BFP and was in shock but rapidly bcame delighted despite it not fitting with any of our more practical plans (me retraining and due to go back to work this autumn specifically.) Anyhow, it then turned out to be chemical preg and after much discussion we have decided that we now really want a 4th! So now ttc. AF is just about to arrive for this month and I have bought a CB Fertlity monitor so all systems go. It took us a year to get last ds but hoping for earlier success this time...Anyway, sorry for long post, hope i don't kill the thread!

Sorry Roquefort and Cece, sad to lose a baby at any stage.
I know what you mean about the delay in training Roquefort, I was in the second semester of an MSc when I found out about DS, so it was all a bit out of the window. Quite annoying because I was self-funded and took a draw-down against my property to pay for the course. Grr! Now feel it's a bit too late to use the qual, but then again, I haven't really tried, because I like working part-time.
It's much more fun seeing DS during the day than having a career.
This thread seems to have taken on a life of its own, so I can't see it being killed off until we all get bfps.

Rowingboat "I would expect a girl to be more independent and prone to tantrums and talking back oh, and climbing up enormous climbing frames, which is the opposite of DS" - I definitely want another boy then! Ds is far from angelic - he likes a good argument (with quite a number of 'that's not kind' added in for good measure), goes straight to the most difficult bit of the climbing frame, tears about the garden, park, house, and is absolutely adorable most of the time apart from when he is being absolutely terrible!

Heehee! He sounds lovely, but you must have your patience severely tested Mistlethrush!

I do have friends with quite placid DDs, but they do seem to speak first in general and start throwing themselves on the ground.
We sailed past the 'terrible' twos because DS didn't really say much, too busy running about and playing. He started to get very tired and emotional as soon as he hit three and talked non-stop. He's a funny boy, he is so confident socially, but is such a cowardly custard when it comes to climbing or anything which might involve biffing himself on the head.
It's strange to imagine another child, and how they might differ from DS. Hmmm!

I have been meaning to ask if anyone watched 'Ashes to Ashes'? Just with you all being similar ages, I thought it might resonate with you.
I found the music quite caused quite an emotional response at times. Not that I'm given to retrospection, but it did affect me, particularly the last episode. Some of the issues seem to recent to be of any interest, but when I watch the programme it makes me realise it was quite long ago now, things like the Miner's strike and even the big AIDs epidemic. God I was so scared of AIDS, now it's as if it never happened.
Anyway, I digress.

Ds started with the terrible 2s at 18mo - I think partly as he couldn't make himself understood very well. However, I got an email from mumsnet at 2yo which suggested that 2yo could use on average 200 words. I thought that sounded rather alot so started making a list and gave up at about 240 - and this was the words he would actually use himself, not words he could repeat but didn't understand, and not words that he understood but couldn't say (ie you say word, he points in book). We now have problems getting enough food into him because he is too busy talking about things, and he's very inquisitive - have to explain things alot. BUt he's also very active - he's just got the hang of his balance bike and goes really fast with his legs held up, even down hills (luckily we have a helmet which I have been very grateful for when he's fallen off into a fence with a 4"x4" directly in line with his head). Easter we was a nightmare - had a horrible boy for the entire time. Stroppy teenager type of general attitude with biting and kicking added for good measure. However, he is generally back to a more reasonable behaviour now - I had a talk with him and said how sad it made me that he was being like that - I think it went in!

All my friends who have had girls have, I think, had an easier time - slightly less physical at least.

Rowingboat, I watched - and loved! - Ashes to Ashes, agree with you about lots of it seeming recent but then relaisng it was ages ago! DH kept saying "But aren't things still like that" esp. about furniture, Alex's flat, clothes etc - we decided that they prob. aren't, we are just getting old and thus not up to date!

Re. boys vs girls, I have both (although dd has SEN so is maybe not typical) and I would say that for me boys are more physical (both in an affectionate and a rough and tumble way) and girls more independent - sort of dogs vs cats iyswim!!

Rowingboat, I watched - and loved! - Ashes to Ashes, agree with you about lots of it seeming recent but then relaisng it was ages ago! DH kept saying "But aren't things still like that" esp. about furniture, Alex's flat, clothes etc - we decided that they prob. aren't, we are just getting old and thus not up to date!

Re. boys vs girls, I have both (although dd has SEN so is maybe not typical) and I would say that for me boys are more physical (both in an affectionate and a rough and tumble way) and girls more independent - sort of dogs vs cats iyswim!!

Quite a few of the fashions have come back in again: the skinny, dark jeans and pussycat bow blouses, even, apparently, perms! I remember when I was at school, everyone had a spiral perm or a home afro and every school bag contained an afro comb. I'm laughing here!! I've never had a perm, but I remember girls with areas of stubble where their hair had snapped off just above their scalps.
I think that could be it the independence thing that I have noticed about girls. Quite a few of the girls I know put on their own clothes when they were quite small, and didn't want any help, whereas DS has always been quite happy to have me put on his shoes and coat. He occasionally asserts his independence, but seems happy to be waited on.
We have a balance bike as well, and DS loves it, but he doesn't lift up his feet yet - very cautious that way. He would be most impressed at your DS Mistlethrush
I'm secretly quite relieved that he isn't a big risk taker, because both I and his daddy were climbing up everything and jumping off. I confided this relief to DP and he was most miffed, telling me that I was making DS too fearful, but it's just DS: he is a careful boy.
I've still got the last episode of Ashes to Ashes on the harddrive, must watch it again. How creepy is the dad??!!
There seems to be a lot of lust after Gene thingy on MN, but I'm not really 'feeling it' as Randy Jackson says. (also watch American idol - the shame)