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Conception

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Original poster

ttc after mc July/August 2007 - shiny new thread as the other was full

756 replies

winemakesmummyclever · 30/08/2007 11:29

Hi,

I hope nobody minds me adding a new thread, but the other wouldn't let me reply.

LadyLush - Sorry to hear about your loss . In answer to your question, I thought I was around 11-12 weeks pg, but the scan said the baby was around 8-9 weeks. When I'd had the ERPC, the gynae reg said the uterus was around 14weeks and the baby was still 8-9 weeks.
I'm sure things do get better with time, but things are still pretty raw and new for me. I'm glad things are getting back to normal for you (and hopefully for others too).

OP posts:
PiggyPenguin · 14/09/2007 16:08

Hi Katendmom, just read your text re whether dp wants to ttc again and have to say we went through a very similar thing. We had a mc in January and for the first few months after it was so raw neither of us wanted to ttc, and then I really did and dh felt that he just couldn't go through it again, especially as the mc was a 'surprise' pg and we had pretty much decided not to have anymore.

After 6 months though we had a huge talk about whether to ttc and I really wanted to and he admitted that he had really wanted the baby we lost, it was just that he didn't want to risk the pain of losing another. So, we are on the ttc path but if we were unlucky enough to mc again I am very sure that that would be end for him. He's not prepared to let it run our lives or disrupt our two dc's lives. And I have to understand that, even if I know I would find it hard to agree.

katendmom · 14/09/2007 16:17

Thank you so much for listening to me and for all your support and encouragement... Today is shaping up to be quite a day My best friend just told me she is 10 wks pg. I AM SO HAPPY FOR HER because they had a mc a few months back. I was so wanting to tell her about my mc when I was going through it but didn't want to upset her...

Of course selfishly I broke down in tears when I heard her news and she knew right away. SHE IS AWESOME so we ended up laughing and crying and SHE KNOWS how happy I am for her! But it totally brought my yesterday up again for me.

I agree with all of you. Today or even a week later is no time to decide on the future of another baby. We are blessed to have a family of 3 - I should be happy that my DH is so concerned about me and my well-being. I think everything happens for a reason. I think there is a reason why the doc offered to do these tests (which I think are pretty uncommon for mc - I hear they don't start looking into it until you have a couple in a row)... and there is a reason why we have to wait a month to learn about results.

Here is what I've decided - I won't bring the topic of TCC at home until we get the results back. I do want to know what they find out (regardless of how bad it is) and I do want to learn the gender of the baby (I am probably masochistic, now that I think about it)... and with that information DH and I will have to sit down and just make a decision.

I feel like you - when and if we hold a little one in our arms, we will be so happy... But a lot of things might not work out for us here... and then we should be smart to make peace and enjoy what we have - each other and our beautiful DS.

Until mid-Oct - I promise no more from me. I will of course let you know right away when the results are in. I am sure I'll be a mental case then

PiggyPenguin · 14/09/2007 16:26

Katendmom, all my fingers are crossed for a happy outcome for you, I really feel that you deserve it. Good luck to you and your dh, I hope the tests are good, and that we are hearing positive news from you in no time.

katendmom · 14/09/2007 16:47

Hey, I promise ? my last post on this topic but wanted you to see it. I felt like crap after overtaking my friend?s great news with my shabby ones. SO, I shot her an apology.

This is her response ? and aside from being an amazing person ? she is also very wise. The way she talks about ?surrendering your heart? made me cry and laugh and get goose bumps all over. Just felt like I need to share it with you guys because you all will hopefully get something out of it

Have a WONDERFUL and SPARKLING day~

######################

Don't you dare apologize to me. It is never just about me or just about you. We are friends, so it is about US. I'm touched that you shared your experience with me and you know I can relate. I wish we had been geographically closer when we went through our experiences so we could have given each other hugs. Just know I hug you "virtually."

I have always thought that part of the beauty (and part of the pain) of parenthood is that you basically surrender your heart to someone else and that person can absolutely break your heart without even meaning to at any time - Eight weeks, 12 weeks, 37 weeks, 12 years, 17 years, anytime. They can also fill your heart up so full you can't believe it. You and I know that as well as anyone and talking about it doesn't taint or overshadow anything. It's a wonderful reminder of how fragile and magical it all is.

You and DH will absolutely get through this and make the decision that is right for you - no one else.

Thank you so much for your congratulations and well wishes. You are kind of a kindred spirit for me so having you know in the "early" days is a sweet comfort. I know you'll be thinking of me, just as I will be thinking about you.

love,
A

P.S. I will plug in an update reminder along with my monthly status report! LOL

goingfor3 · 14/09/2007 18:04

Your friend is really supportive, she's a good person the have around.

Emmsy · 14/09/2007 19:00

katendmom I am really sorry that you M/C at 35wks, I can't even imagine what you've been through!I totally agree with nh101,emotions will be running very very raw at the moment and how both you and your DH feel right now may change as time passes. I wish you both all the happiness in the worldxxx As for the Elephant dose of Folic Acid I picked up the prescription pack today for £6.85 and it has 28 very small tab's in it! I don't know how they managed to squeeze about 12 of the 400 micro grams into the tablet cos it's smaller than the standard one?? Starting to think it's a conspiracy between hosp and Doc's to get people to pay more for FA than they do already!? I'm still going to buy them though!! I have also bought some sanatogen pronatal today, togo with my zinc and Agnus castus supp's, Starting to feel abit like a junkie again!!
I hope everyone else is feeling OK, I am still spotting and am having loads of headaches, don't want to take any more pills though

Triggles · 14/09/2007 22:01

I think the most frustrating thing about the bleeding starting and stopping was how it affected my mood for the day. If it slowed down or temporarily stopped, then I was more relaxed and happy, thinking "ok maybe it's finally done". Then the next day it would get really heavy again and I was just so depressed and down because it felt like it was such a setback. I did notice that when I was doing more walking about, it got heavier. So I tried to stay somewhat active, thinking it would encourage things to pass quicker.

I agree that it would be nice for the group to continue together and support each other as we move on.

katendmom · 14/09/2007 22:11

Alright, we keep talking about it but let's do it. Let's start a new and cool and a VERY LUCKY thread!

We'll start it off the "Conception" topic, agree?

What shall we call it? It'll be hard but let's try to stay away from "MC" or "TTC" or anything like that so that regardless of what's happening to us or with us we can stay on the thread, just because we like each other, find each other supportive and care to learn what the future holds for us, fellow MNers

Soooo... suggestions for the new name?

Triggles · 14/09/2007 22:16

katendmom- what your friend wrote was absolutely lovely!

sweetkitty - I know what you mean about feeling like having another is pushing luck. Especially at my age. But still we try, can't help it.

nh101 - you're right about compromise and communication. DH initially began mentioning stopping ttc after m/c, and I was so upset as we had both agreed we wanted another baby. When we finally discussed it at length, I found out it wasn't because he didn't want to ttc, but he was worried about me and the possibility of me having another m/c and having to deal with it physically and emotionally again. I promised him that if I reached a point where I simply couldn't do it, I'd tell him. But we both very much would like another child, so we're on the ttc trail again.

emmsy - i'd ask my Dr about the folic acid and upping the amount I take, but he's not exactly proactive. He's very "hmm.. well, um..." I'm seriously considering switching GPs to another in the surgery.

wmmc - definitely he shouts loudest gets what they want with the NHS. I've learned that the hard way. I've found I get best results by saying "This is what I'm requesting...." as opposed to "Would it be possible for...?" As I said above, my GP is very hesitant to do much, and I get the impression that he thinks I'm a bit nuts to be ttc, although he'd never out and out say it. I will admit I've had to be quite verbally pushy or demanding a few times with him to get him to listen to my concerns.

iliketosleep · 14/09/2007 22:16

"where here"

iliketosleep · 14/09/2007 22:16

wtf??? i meant "we're here

Triggles · 14/09/2007 22:18

What about taking a leaf from katendmom's friend's message and use "It's all about US". Just a thought.

Triggles · 14/09/2007 22:23

It's tough to think up a group name, isn't it? It was SO much easier when we were 7 or 8 years old and came up with sophisticated things like "The We Hate Boys Club"

katendmom · 14/09/2007 22:30

Triggles, I think it's a sweet thought ... but is it? All we do is talk about babies

So... is it "It's all about babies"

OR

"BabiesRUs"

... keep 'em coming! Let's find a really good one!

Lcy · 14/09/2007 22:50

Hi everyone

Kateandmom - my DP never stopped wanting to TTC but i did! It was our first baby and i went through definate periods of thinking i wouldnt be able to cope if could happen again.

Goingfor3 - i think its starting to clear up - its def hormonal because it started day after ovulation. How are you

Ok - big wave to everyone else.

Lcy · 14/09/2007 22:55

It is our 1st wedding anniversary tommorow. I went out with some girls from work tonight and when i got home DH was waiting with a massive beautiful bunch of the flowers we had at our wedding. The smell of the flowers bought back the whole day. We are meeting up with a group of our friends for an anniversary celebration breakfast - just like we did on our wedding day. Then DH and i are going walking in the hills and then staying in the hotel where we spent our wedding night.

I hoped to be pregnant on our 1st anniversary - but I am so lucky to have DH i cant even be sad. Ok enough of the soppy stuff - but just wanted to share a happy story after my miserable mood last night x

justjules · 14/09/2007 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iliketosleep · 14/09/2007 23:28

i like its all about us

TJuice · 15/09/2007 01:30

congratulations lcy! it sounds like it will be a lovely day . . .enjoy

i am now in london and for some reason, had a massive talk and cry with my mum about everything. it weird how i can feel v. strong, like i am getting on with things, but when i get home,i can just let it all go and wallow in it. i guess its somehow reverting back to an earlier you . . . i wasn't ctually shouting "its so unfair" but i felt like it!

my cheesy $0.02 re. thread titles:

Future Positive after MC or just Future Positive

goingfor3 · 15/09/2007 07:47

Lcy - It's getting worse so I have started to treat it. I'm taking dd for a photo shoot today so it will stop me scratching all day!!!!

sweetkitty · 15/09/2007 08:55

We will be happy again after mc nah too yuck

Life after mc????

Onwards and upwards - true mc and ttc support thread

oh I don't know I'm rubbish at these things

Started the rollercoaster ttc business again, got my opks for CD11 to see if I will ovulate this month, I know because I have got pregnant first month with the last 2 I will be expecting it again, if I get a BFN I will be so down, if I get a BFP I will be happy for about a day then mega worried for 12 weeks, then a little better until the baby is born, argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emmsy · 15/09/2007 10:11

Sweetkitty Whats the hut??

Emmsy · 15/09/2007 10:37

I can't believe this time last week I was "happily pregnant" I wish I could turn back time (and then change it!) I even posted last Saturday on the ante-natal thread, I was abit hormonal but pregnant!
I feel really down today, can't be bothered doing anything!
I have been looking through the threads that I had been on prior to this one, and its horrible to see your EDD removed from the stats list I have been looking out for a friend of mine, to see how she is getting on (she was due the same day that I was) Goodcatholicgirl is her name if anyone spots her, I'm starting to think that she may have had some bad luck?? I hope not, she was a lovely happy girl, that cheered me up everytime she came on.Sorry to be so bloody depressing but just can't lift myself up today! have a nice weekend

iliketosleep · 15/09/2007 11:27

good morning everyone

well ive only bled a spot about the size of a 10p since around 8 last night so thats good although due to what you have all told me i will expect it to come back! so thanks for letting me know

emmsy i know how you feel its not fair how quick it all changes is it

ladylush · 15/09/2007 13:02

ILTS - as you had a big bleed before, it's possible the bleeding might end soon. Hope so anyway.

Emmsy - interested in the 5mg folic acid thing. Scrolled down but couldn't find why you were taking the increased dose. I have been wondering whether I should take a higher dose. Is it possible to take too much? The pronatal have folic acid in too (about 300mcg). Do you know what the advice is on zinc - is it safe to use in pregnancy?