TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

This is the thread for those of us in the TTC after loss penguin huddle who want to try to eat a more healthy diet, exercise more, lose weight or just feel better physically this year
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@MrsMGE @Avocuddles @MissSparkles81 @SunshineCrocodile @Mumlili8 @VenusStarr @SunStruck

If I’ve missed anyone please tag them

How about we start by saying what our goals are whether that he the number on the scale, doing more exercise or just feeling better about ourselves?

I’m BunnytheBlueWhale (NC recently - see TTC thread). I’m 35 and probably weigh about a stone more than I’d like since I had my stillborn daughter in February. I don’t need to lose weight massively but having post-baby weight and no baby is a bit rubbish!

I’d like to lose a bit of a weight all over and also target my belly with brushing, moisturising and maybe microneedling at home...

I eat a lot of sugary snacks so want to massively reduce those and also try to take a healthy lunch to work to stop me spending so much money on food!

@Seahawk80 Delighted for you 🌺 Keeping everything crossed everything goes well for you ❤️ xxx

@Seahawk80 Honestly if I were you I’d just take it easy unless you particularly want to run etc. As long as you keep your little bean safe who cares if you have a bit of cake and crisps! xx

Ladies.

I've given some thought to certain things that were said on this thread and concluded I don't feel comfortable with them.

Grief shouldn't be compared, rated, and no assumptions should be made about it. In my view, it is not a contest of who's most hard done by either.

Mothers following a MC get absolutely nothing and that is wrong. A choice to use a two week parental bereavement leave should be provided to them because they lost a baby. Whether they use it, or how much of it they'll decide to use, should be up to them depending on how they feel.

I hoped this place would be safe and supportive and that it would help all of us pick each other up after tragic events that should bring us together, not cause division, and that we'd all move forward.

At no point had I ever trivialised anyone's experience and always tried to treat everyone equally, as I think all bereaved should be approached. However, I have been accused of trivialising stillbirth by comparing it to miscarriage, in my view, incorrectly, as I've not compared the two events, but stated that people's reactions to them vary and may be very profound after MC, as well as stillbirth. Whereas grieving mothers after stillbirth are rightly entitled to maternity leave, mothers following a miscarriage are not acknowledged by law at all. They shouldn't have to use sick leave. They are bereaved and the mere 2 weeks of parental bereavement leave is the very least that should be available if they need it.

I also feel that by way of certain comments, my own experience have been trivialised. A miscarriage isn't, in my view, remotely comparable to losing a job or a pet and bringing this kind of examples up on here knowing our histories and difficulties most of us have been through post baby loss is not appropriate to me.

Both, miscarriage and stillbirth mean losing a human baby. Both in most cases lead to grief that only the grieving mother can imagine.

Whilst opinions may vary and I have tried to approach this with understanding and compassion, I have to say hand on heart that I find a number of comments that have been made unacceptable.

And in view of the fact they come from Bunny who runs this thread, I'll just remove myself from it going forward.

Sorry about the long post, I wanted to make clear how I feel and say the very best of luck to you on your TTC journeys, to those of you in early pregnancy post-loss now and on the health kick. I shall continue with the latter privately, please wish me luck too. Thank you for all your support to date, to all of you. Xxx

@Seahawk80 just been catching up on the friend and was so happy to see your very encouraging news, I'm glad things are looking positive. I really hope they continue along the same trajectory.
It would be brilliant if you could also share your story on the Pregnant after loss board - there are a lot of very nervous ladies there who would definitely benefit from hearing a good news story to boost their spirits at a scary time. I'm 5+2 today and very much in 'bricking it' territory at the moment.

Mmmm @Shefliesonherownwings you've inspired me to cook a Thai curry tonight! I'm another super spicy fan....I always have an emergency pot of dried birds eye chillis to hand to spice up my own portion as DH's tolerance isn't quite as high!

@MrsMGE great shout re writing to your MP. It's a very emotive subject and one that is woefully ignored a lot of the time, though i feel encouraged to have seen what feel like quite a few national press stories around miscarriage and stillbirth recently.

@MissSparkles81 well done with the healthy eating and long may the BDing continue!

@BunnytheBlueWhale hope you enjoyed your pizza express. Don't know if you've seen but I'm excited that a branch of Leon has opened up at the train station - great for hearty and healthy lunches....

@tortiecat you've reminded me that I have some hotel chocolat goodies hidden away in the cupboard - I was working on the out of sight out of mind theory but think I might be digging them this evening 😉

Hope you are all ok, I'm very much following everything that is going on and although my healthy habits have slipped somewhat over the past week or so i do need to get back on it and find some great inspiration here x

Thanks @Avocuddles and congratulations!! Sorry I've had no time for a proper catch up yet! It's such a nervous old time isn't it. Yesterday's euphoria has worn off now and I'm stressing about my 12 week results. Did you mean the grads thread or another one? If you send a link I'd be happy to share. I've decided to at least have my 5 a day as an easy goal at the moment!

@Seahawk80 Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows.... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3801729-pregnant-after-loss-and-dreaming-of-rainbows

I am struggling to keep up with any threads at the moment.
I don't know if it's been my subconscious telling me not to go on mumsnet or what but I've just not had any urge to come on here.

I have given up with WW it was so confusing and restrictive!

I feel like I'm getting fatter and fatter and I have no willpower to not eat the bad foods.

How are you all staying motivated?

@EssJayyCee its so blummin hard isn't it? In terms of motivation I am just taking one day at a time rather than looking at the bigger picture.

I will be trying Leon @Avocuddles! Good luck but hopefully you’ll keep us updated even if you’ve got a new thread started

@EssJayyCee It’s hard sometimes. If you don’t feel like being online / MN whatever then follow your instincts. I find my motivation goes up and down. I’m worse if I’m tired or hormonal or have generally had a bad day. I’m also more likely to snack if ive left it too long to have dinner or lunch. Having healthy snacks around helps me. I’m also a planner so making lists and setting myself tasks for the week / day helps motivate me too sometimes more so if quite modest tasks that are achievable. Also I find if I can just have one good day then I feel more motivated for another day maybe a bit like @MissSparkles81 has said

Hope everyone else is ok

@EssJayyCee it's definitely hard work staying motivated. I've had a bad week with food, if I start off the week badly i find it hard to get back into the groove but i try to make up for it by doing some exercise. Not easy most of the time but don't be too hard on yourself, tomorrow is a new day.

@Avocuddles I love Leon, their halloumi wraps are delish and they some very nice waffle chips which aren't massively healthy but taste amazing.

I had wine last night with my friend which was a bad idea as I've felt rubbish today. I'm thinking of giving up the booze for a while, it's not helping me. Healthy dinner tonight with tofu and PT tomorrow. Trying to get back on track this weekend if I can.

Leon is amazing! Every time we head down to London we always go. I wish they would open a branch in Scotland. I am coeliac and they are fab with their gluten free options.

I’m wondering what I’ve been missing with Leon now!! Maybe because they have breakfast stuff when I go through the station in a morning 🤔

Need to google the menu

@BunnytheBlueWhale yes it's worth it! There are some healthy options such as salads etc but also some more 'fast food' options, but usually with a healthier twist.

My healthy eating definitely went to pot today. My team put on a buffet in honour of someone who leaves tomorrow and you've never seen such a large (and delicious) spread of beige foods in your life! One colleague brought in amazing homemade samosas, another assorted cakes and there was also a mountain of mc chicken nuggets thanks to Uber eats! My workplace is definitely the main challenge to my willpower, I'm surrounded by feeders!

@Shefliesonherownwings if you feel it's having a negative impact on your wellbeing then giving up or at least cutting back on drinking might be sensible. I love my wine and (outside of pregnancy of course) always struggled with the idea of giving it up entirely, but did manage to cut back whilst actively TTC and was actually doing dry January for the first time when I conceived most recently. You could maybe cut back to weekends only? Or buck the trend and challenge yourself to a dry February - it's great for your bank balance if nothing else!

Ps waffle chips = 10 out of 10!

Sounds like a great fuddle @Avocuddles! I think we should enjoy whatever we like occasionally. When you’re pregnant there are things you can’t have anyway so don’t completely deprive yourself of “unhealthy” foods!

I might pop to Leon for lunch today actually. I’ll let you know!

@Shefliesonherownwings You could always give it up for a a short time, or on certain days, as Avo days and see how you feel. I hardly drink tbh but my vice is sugar and I don’t feel great when I have too much!

DH and I have been a bit stressy today / last night. He’s v stressed with work. I’m a bit busy and stressed with work but I know for me that’s more the last few days as I’ve been super busy and not sleeping that well. It’s 2 weeks to the anniversaries of our daughter’s death and birth (not the same day) coming up in the next couple of weeks so that’s probably weighing on us both a bit. Well I’m sure it is. Still not sure what to do but trying not to put pressure or myself to do anything because I think that’s part of it. We both have the day off work so maybe we’ll just decide on the day what we feel like doing and if I want to buy her a ballon or teddy bear or something for the grave...

But I’m pleased it’s Friday and will be getting my Friday hot choc on the way in although I think I also had a Friday hot choc yesterday 😂🙈

Hope everyone is ok. Sorry for the long post. I’m that annoying person who sends really long texts!

Yeah I think you guys are right I am going to avoid wine/prosecco completely and just stick to a GnT at the weekend. It just does not make me feel good right now.

Just had my PT session and it was the hardest one yet. I really pushed it and was so sweaty by the end but I enjoyed it. I feel like I am getting fitter slowly which is good. I still need to work on the food though, I'm struggling with motivation right now but I think planning is the way forward for me. Tomorrow I'm going to plan my WW meals for next week to try to get back on track. We have the inlaws round tonight for a curry so I'll start again tomorrow instead.

@BunnytheBlueWhale I am also guilty of sending long messages lol!

Hi everyone, it's hard keeping up being healthy in the cold and dark isn't it. I've decided to just eat lots of veg / fruit and try to mainly make healthy choices. About to have no kitchen for at least 6 weeks so it's going to be even harder! Don't have the budget for constant take always so that should help a bit!

@Seahawk80 Oh that’s tough. Do you have things you can use like a microwave or whatever? When we had the kitchen done in the old house we didn’t have a microwave but we had a camping stove(!) for pan stuff and I have tapenyaki grill that you can use for cooking meat or even stir fries and eggs... We did end up eating out a bit, not that we had the budget for it either. You could have cold foods / salads / sandwiches / fruit. I hope it gets sorted quickly as it’s hard not having a kitchen.

@BunnytheBlueWhale we will have a microwave and I've got a plug in electric hob. Main issue is that once kitchen is a total building site we'll probably need to cook in the living room so don't really want to cook anything that smells! Especially as we're in a flat so same level as our bedrooms. Lots of pasta I think 😩 we do however have an amazing jerk chicken place down the road which isn't expensive so I'm thinking a large one between us with a pack of flavoured microwave rice and salad at least once a week! We are having an extension into the garden with bifold doors and a new kitchen so it should look amazing when finished!

@Seahawk80 Hopefully it will be ok and sounds like it’ll be worth it when it’s done 😃

How is everyone doing with exercise this week? I have eaten ok except I had a Burger King chicken burger for lunch today and fish and chips but dinner but let’s just ignore that!! I have otherwise eaten an ok diet, not too much in the way of sugary crap, but have done no exercise. I’m booked onto yoga and that’s the first thing I’m doing this week. I just haven’t had much time 🙈 Will try harder next week!

Hey ladies! Hope you've all managed to stay on the wagon 😄 I had a shocker of a day yesterday when I had a whole bag of crisps (Keogh's sour cream, my fav - I live abroad so trekked across town to get this!). A big bag, not a small one! I just couldn't stop eating. Feeling nauseous now and the saltiness was amazing. Also had a small
Bag if M&Ms and a small Magnum ice cream lolly 🤦🏻‍♀️ I have been to the gym 4 times this seem though and went yesterday so I've clawed some of the calories back 🤣

I'm making the chicken pie from Joe Wicks tonight!

@SunStruck That doesn’t sound so bad if you’ve managed to get to the gym too... Let me know if the chicken pie is good - I love a pie! 🥧

Guys im so pissed off ... weighed myself this morning and it says ive put in 3lb 😡 I know my eating hasn't been the best but I have not eaten enough to gain 3lb.

Feeling very deflated and now wanting to eat everything in sight and its only 9am 🤪

That’s annoying @MissSparkles81 but our weight can fluctuate based on all sorts of things like water and even if you have a full bladder or wet hair lol. You probably haven’t really gained if you’ve eaten ok and if you keep weighing yourself weekly or monthly you’ll probably see the number going down overall.

DH and I have just been to Howdens to look at doors (exciting ha) and now I’m going to quickly get ready to go to the gym and maybe fit in 20 mins of cardio before my yoga class. Might make me feel a bit better about having done no exercise this week (although I’ve been tracking steps)