TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

This is the thread for those of us in the TTC after loss penguin huddle who want to try to eat a more healthy diet, exercise more, lose weight or just feel better physically this year
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@MrsMGE @Avocuddles @MissSparkles81 @SunshineCrocodile @Mumlili8 @VenusStarr @SunStruck

If I’ve missed anyone please tag them

How about we start by saying what our goals are whether that he the number on the scale, doing more exercise or just feeling better about ourselves?

I’m BunnytheBlueWhale (NC recently - see TTC thread). I’m 35 and probably weigh about a stone more than I’d like since I had my stillborn daughter in February. I don’t need to lose weight massively but having post-baby weight and no baby is a bit rubbish!

I’d like to lose a bit of a weight all over and also target my belly with brushing, moisturising and maybe microneedling at home...

I eat a lot of sugary snacks so want to massively reduce those and also try to take a healthy lunch to work to stop me spending so much money on food!

@LASandOtto Don't worry about keeping up with the thread now, you're very busy! Make sure you get some rest every now and then, if you can. It sounds like you're on it, girl!

@SunStruck I'd normally have it with a slice of wholemeal bread and sweet chilli soft cheese, however I've cut out bread nearly entirely (only had two slices last week), so these days I'm just enjoying the soup. I add some coriander or chilli flakes, too.

I know what you mean re anxiety. It might not be much of a consolation but you're obviously very fertile and that's a good thing - we've been through everything together and it's your third pg in the same time when I haven't even managed to get pg for the second time! Obviously we know we're waiting for a positive final outcome, but look how good your chances are, it will happen. Now you've got extra support and monitoring too, so the chances are even better. Keep as calm as you possibly can, I know you can do this!

I have a feeling nothing is going to happen for me without some kind of medical support/intervention tbh, bracing myself to visit my GP in the end of March. I don't even know if it makes sense to have any tests on the NHS or go private straight away, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

For now I'm keeping myself healthy and happy. Xxx

@MrsMGE thanks for your lovely words ❤️ And it's great your focusing on healthy and happy! That's what I did when we had this mini break to KL last year (you know what we said about holding things like traveling off "just in case"... and you have your lovely Greek holiday coming up don't you?!

You know that this cycle for me was medicated (and last time I got pregnant too), so I know there's great hope for all of us if it's difficult au naturale! I had 2 follicles this time due to meds, so double the chance.

Yeah I'm also trying to not eat so much bread but I don't feel that a soup fills me up (if no beans etc in it - this soup is smooth). I've had an egg with it most evenings but am just thinking of other things to combine it with 😂

@Shefliesonherownwings I’m sorry this week has been even more tough than it needs to be. Sadly I think it’s not unusual for the appointments to be in maternity wards etc- our first bereavement counselling session was next to the ultrasound room and when we checked in at reception for the appointment we were asked if we were here for a scan. I’m sending you a gentle hug x

Well done to everyone who is doing nice healthy and relaxing things! I went to a beginners yoga class yesterday. It’s at a new studio which is near my house and the walk there is through two parks. It was a nice sunny walk through the parks, a gentle yoga class and then DH met me for brunch. Today we have been to the allotment to dig up the last of the potatoes. This afternoon I’m heading to a friend’s house to make marmalade as it’s Seville orange season

Seville orange marmalade 😍😍😍 absolutely dreamy @JuniperandRose!

Afternoon all ... its been a quiet weekend for me. I maintained this week which I am ok with given it is totm so I am hoping to see a loss next weekend.

My bf is away to see his wee one today and I just wanted to chill in the house. I do feel guilty but I just needed the time to myself. Currently chilling in the bath 😆

I went to Yoga yesterday which was good and booked in for my gym classes this week and huge pot of soup made so im all set for the week.

DH and I have been on a walk. We did about 7 miles and then I came home and did day 1 of 30 days of yoga with Adrienne. I found it a bit long and slow tbh (the yoga) but I think it will pick up pace and also the first video was longer than the others. I feel good for having done some exercise and motivated for the week ahead. I still feel like I have PMT though (I’m on CD 13 in my fertile period, I believe)

Well done @MissSparkles81, your "me time" sounds blissful 😊 Good luck with the gym this week!

And what a productive day @BunnytheBlueWhale, sounds brilliant! I've just come out of my fertile period I believe and I felt a bit off during it tbh. In my case it might be because we've actively avoided dtd during the fertile period this month, it feels like we haven't done it for so long. I think I need sex tbh 😂

I managed to do two HIIT sessions this weekend and two long-ish walks. Dancehall class tomorrow evening, wooo! Hopefully no more taking work home next weekend so I can fully focus on the good stuff and have more me time 😊

PS Little Women was lovely, very feel good 😊 I really like Saoirse Ronan and Meryl Streep, it ticked my boxes 😊 xxx

Thanks @mrsmge it was very much needed. Can't believe it's Monday already ... hope everyone has a great week ❤

Thanks @MrsMGE The movie sounds good!

I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve mentioned I get PMT quite badly and it’s a very specific feeling usually (although can be compared to be VERY tired or hungry but that doesn’t usually last as long!). I’m on about CD14 and in my fertile period so it can’t be PMT!

I had a bit of a go at DH last night. I am like a different person when I have PMT and that’s how I feel. He knew that though and was winding me up (eg no one did the washing up on Saturday night so when I got home from my parents at about 9:15 last night I did it. I didn’t really want to but DH clearly didn’t plan to do it. I did and said something about how I was washing up again and he was saying things like “there’s nothing there” and “it’ll only take 2 mins” and so I was like well you do it then if it’s so easy! I told him I’m feeling b sensitive for some reason and just need him not to make comments like that but he carried on. That’s kind of his sense of humour too but he knew I wasn’t find it funny.) Anyway I know I was being sensitive and it escalated a bit and I told DH I didn’t want him in our bed (I didn’t even mean it) but then shortly after I did apologise properly... but then this morning he came in the bedroom and started arguing again. He could have just said he’s still upset and we’d discuss it but, oh no, he doesn’t want to “discuss” he said which meant he kept telling me how out of order I was and how horrible it was of me to make him sleep on the sofa (even though I’d apologised and said he could come upstairs) but wouldn’t listen to anything I said. I’m really upset.

I know I probably upset him last night but he can be a proper arse and never apologised but the one time I go off and he doesn’t let me forget it. I feel really crap anyway so I don’t need it. Also he often falls asleep on the sofa (because he falls asleep watching tv) so it’s not that big a deal that he sleeps there.

It is FW and I don’t want to fall out on FW (or at all) but I couldn’t help the rage last night 😬😂🙈 I probably wouldn’t mind as much if it wasn’t FW 🙈🙈🙈

Sorry for the rant. I do feel a bit better now 😬

Aww @BunnytheBlueWhale we're all irtitated with things sometimes, my DH was going to sort out my mp3 player (I'm a bit old school 😂) on Saturday, been asking him all week to look at it as there's something wrong with it. When did he come to do it? 7.45 am TODAY. I was raging! I was in the middle of doing my hair and EVERY reasonable partner knows you do not interrupt a woman doing her hair in the morning! So I had a go at him too 😂 Men sometimes don't think, they really don't.

Anyway. You've mentioned PMT (is it the same as PMS?) many times before. Obviously, if you know it's coming you can try and plan that week gently to avoid any unnecessary triggers. But if you're in the middle of your cycle then I really don't know what to advise, it's unexpected. Maybe it's not PMT and you just have something else bubbling away that sets you off. Could it be the due date? It sounds like there's another reason that you may not have identified yet, so it's hard to prevent it. The only thing I'd do is burning your energy. Any kind of weight exercises, boxercise or in fact even some cardio, like cross-trainer or running, might just take the edge off. You'll probably still be annoyed but it might help you cope a bit better? Xxx

Also, ladies... the time has come, I've ordered myself a Fitbit 🙌🙌🙌 Arriving this Friday! 😀

@MrsMGE Thanks for your reply. Yes PMT is basically PMS. It can’t be PMT unless my cycle is very messed up or it is general stress / upset. I am annoyed with him now for not bothering to speak to me today, knowing I’m having a hard time. I had one time before when my hormones seemed to be all over. That time I was crying a lot and it was during a stressful time and ended up being tested for PCOS and all sorts but they found nothing.

But I do feel ok.

I get annoyed if DH tries to talk to me when I’m getting ready too 😂 Sometimes he chooses that moment to come and start talking to me, when I’m busy and have limited time before I leave the house!

Enjoy your Fitbit! I’m going to dig out my Tom Tom but not sure lll wear it all the time, maybe just for exercise

Yay @MrsMGE you've got a FitBit! Which one did you go for?

@BunnytheBlueWhale I feel for you. Feeling PMT/PMS at a time when not expected to, is tough. Hormones just do things to us, it happens. I had a blazing row with OH yesterday and I'm normal a very calm person, we basically hardly ever argue as we are both not temperamental (I can be more so than OH). Have you chatted to him since then? On WhatsApp or something maybe?

How are you feeling now?

Thanks @LASandOtto You ladies always make me feel a bit better! I texted him earlier but he didn’t reply. He often doesn’t if we have argued or whatever, especially if he wants to make a point that I am the one in the wrong! I am ok actually. I feel calm and ok.

I do struggle with my PMS anyway, much more than average I believe. So to feel this way now and ruin fertile week is crap!

I hope you’re on too

Ok not on 🙄

On a brighter note, I just tried some deliciously Ella hazelnut nut butter balls and it was delicious!

I’m thinking if I don’t eat crap today then I’ll probably feel better 😬

@BunnytheBlueWhale You probably will, that's true. If I'm feeling on edge, I make a trip to Debenhams and spray some nice perfume that I haven't bought (yet). Just another idea 😉 Tbh, I'd put on some nice lingerie and seduct your DH, let's be honest, men can't resist for too long 😂

@LASandOtto I bought Fitbit HR, I think it will do everything I need it to do. Plus I have very small wrists and a couple of nice watches that I still want to wear, so needed something that wouldn't look too overpowering. I got a nice beige strap as well, I can't wait for both to arrive 😊

I did HIIT this morning & an hour walk this lunchtime, very proud of myself 🙌 Homemade chicken ceasar for lunch and apart from that, I only had porridge and some fruit today 😊 I have lots of energy, surprisingly. Dance class tonight as well! xxx

@MrsMGE Yes, maybe, we’ll see how I feel when I get home! 🤔 You are doing well wit the the exercise. Today I’ve had a Naked Green Machine Smoothie, chicken wrap and the Deliciously Ella balls (I got a Boots meal deal), which isn’t too bad... I actually feel quite energetic too, more so than the back end of last week when I ate more sugary crap...

A client just told me it’s Blue Monday! Well that explains it!!

Haha! Isn't this the day when most people quit their NY resolutions??

Well, look at us, smashing it!!! 🔥🔥🔥 There's nothing as motivating as female friendship!

Perhaps. Isn’t also the day most people call in sick?!

I think we are doing ok for a Blue Monday 😂

I think we're absolutely fabulous.

Try the DE balls with almond butter when you get a chance, heavenly.

Hi all, just catching up with the thread now. @BunnytheBlueWhale sorry you've been feeling rubbish. Perhaps because it is coming up to a year since you lost your DD you are feeling more irritable. I find I get irritable much more easily now and our DHs are the closest people to us so it gets taken out on them. Although saying that I'd be annoyed too if I'd apologised and DH was still holding a grudge and wanting to argue. Hugs.

I've had a bit of a rubbish weekend. We've still been battling to get our consultant appointment changed, trying to bring it forward and to another venue. @BunnytheBlueWhale i'm sorry you've been through the same. Surely it is common sense that anyone who has lost a baby does not want to have to go to a maternity unit for a meeting. It's so exhausting battling things we shouldn't need to worry about.

DH went out to football on Saturday morning (game was at 12:30) and then rolled in pissed at 11pm. I was annoyed because I ended up being on my own all day and evening and he'd promised to be home for dinner. I get anxious being on my own but I know he needs time out with his friends as it helps him so I didn't want to message and ask him to come home. We had a few words when he got in. He then felt rough on Sunday and we both ended up getting McDonalds and eating loads of chocolate in the evening.

Am trying to get back in the zone today and back on WW. Have booked in a couple of yoga classes at my gym this week, have my PT on Friday and am then going to a two hour restorative yoga class on Sunday with a friend so am hoping that will help with the anxiety and sleep.

Ladies these DE balls sound delish, where are you all getting them from?

@Shefliesonherownwings I’m not sure what is wrong with these men sometimes! I think they think differently from us and grieve differently so maybe your DH was just trying to do his own thing but should have realised that you would want him home. It does annoy me that my DH holds a grudge if I’m the one who was a bit out of line but he’s often moody to me and that’s fine!! The restorative yoga. I just got my DE balls in Boots with a meal deal 🙂 x

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm sorry it hasn't been the best weekend. I very much understand your anxiety, I was picturing the worst possible scenarios in my head (such as my DH dying, my pets getting killed, someone close to me being terminally ill or in a car accident) for months after my MMC. The only thing that helped me was acupuncture and time. But much like you, I hated being alone and in fact I was even worried someone would punch and kill DH when he was out with his friends. It was awful. Don't be too hard on yourself now, it's the grief translating itself to anxiety. It will pass, I promise.

I can't even imagine you have to go to mat unit after stillbirth. It's bad enough at EPAUs when you're surrounded by happy yummy mummies to be ringing up their families to share the news everything went well when your baby is dead. But that is on another level and should never be happening. Why are we still fighting this battle in 2020 🤦🏼‍♀️

Re DE balls, yes, Boots all the way. Also Holland & Barrett have them. These days I make my own using her recipes, nearly as good (nearly!) xxx