TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

@BS9790 sorry for your loss.
I miscarried at xmas i was 6w5 and the bleeding lasted 4 days.
I had cramps but did not pass much tissue or clots at all...
It dragged A bit because of an infection but the bleeding was like a heavy period and a short one.

But it depends/ each person is different. I had a termination 14 years ago with medical management and i had haemorrhage problem and bled for a month. So it really depends.

Good luck to you

@BS9790 sorry for your loss. I was 10 weeks when I found out no heartbeat but they said heartbeat probably stopped at 9w1d judging by growth. I went with medical management. Once I had the second round of tablets the bleeding started and lasted for about 9-11 days. I waited the 3 weeks to do a pregnancy test which was positive and the miscarriage was incomplete. I don’t know if I should have bled for longer if the miscarriage was complete.

Like you this was my first pregnancy and conceived on our first cycle of trying. I hope it stops for you soon and you’re able to get some closure of this horrible experience x

it's reading things like that which keeps me going quite honestly, you brilliant woman you 🥰

Bloody hell everyone, this last year was the pits wasn't it ! Let's let ourselves be whatever we feel on here and in our minds, I mean those are our safe places of freedom surly. So if we are feeling incredibly obsessive on a particular day and think non stop about babies so be it, we need that indulgence to be able to function in our day to day.

So many stories here of brave and courageous women, I'm inspired every time I check this thread and it keeps my own wallowing at bay. My path here has been a hell of a lot smoother then some of you amazing lot.

January is a real time for reflection, good and bad so I guess we all do have to buckle up for the ride over the next few weeks, so personally very grateful for this thread @MilsCookie

Hi all, just caught up with this thread kinda new to this. Sorry to hear all your stories I was in the same boat in 2019 too. TTC 2nd child but seems to be taking a while which is annoying especially it being so instant and positive with my first. Can I ask what ages people are , I seem to think I've left it too long despite seeing older woman I work with having kids it's in my head now I'm 31. Any tips welcomed.

@LilMrsS I am going to be 40 in March and trying for my first!

Ahh thanks @ChampooPapi although no need to thank me 😘 it’s the lovely ladies here that make this thread what it is! I honestly thought when I set it up there would only be a handful of us. I am so shocked that so many of us have been through the same thing. Life can be a total bitch sometimes!! Just glad we’ve got each other and so grateful for the fact we can literally just say whatever it is that we’re feeling with no judgement involved. We’ve all been through something similar and I’m sure we can all relate to how each other are feeling. We are to here to pick each other up when we’re feeling low and we will be here when we finally get our BFPs to celebrate!! And we WILL get our babies in the end - I am positive!!! 🌈 Also despite everything we’ve all gone through, every day I am amazed at the strength of every single one of the ladies on here and the optimism you all have. I am hoping that all of this positivity and happy thoughts will help contribute to quick conceptions for us all! 🤗🤗🤗

GET THOSE SPERMIES TO THOSE EGGIES!!! 😂 (Ok I am losing it now 🙈🙈🙈)

@LilMrsS I’m 30 and also worrying I have left it too late! Also trying for my first 😘

@LilMrsS I’m 31 too, trying for my first. I’m a bit worried I’ve left it late too and constantly have this feeling now I’ll never carry to term. Most of my friends had their first child in the last couple of years so feel a bit left behind. But I keep reminding myself that we conceived on the first cycle of trying, and I didn’t think we had because I didn’t track anything as we was too busy moving house. I think not stressing and obsessing over ttc will help, but it’s so hard to not constantly think about wanting a baby so desperately x

Morning ladies. I'm feeling so fed up with my body. Thought I was pretty much back to normal, had a 28 day cycle. AF arrived just before Christmas so I'm currently in the fertile window. We've been dtd plenty, getting lots of practice in ready to try our damndest during the fw. Then yesterday I went to the toilet for a number 2 and there was fresh blood. Since then theres been bloody mucus when I wipe. Going to call the doctors this morning, but I'm just so fed up! I'm desperate to get pregnant again but cant help but feel that this bleeding means I've no chance this cycle.

Did an OPK this morning, the line was fainter than yesterdays. This is my first time doing them. Could this mean that I've ovulated early? I'm on CD12 today.

Sorry for rambling on.

@LilMrsS I’m 37 and also have occasional ‘have I left it too late’ fear. I didn’t meet my DP until I was 34 though, so there’s nothing I could have done about that! He’s 27 though (go me 😜) and we conceived on the 2nd cycle that ended in miscarriage, so hopefully his young sperm help 😂

I’m coming to the end of my first fertile week after the miscarriage. Been DTD every other day, but yesterday and the day before I had loads of EWCM, which I usually what I get on the day of and after a positive ovulation test. The month we conceived we DTD both of those days, but last night he was too tired and now I’m worried we haven’t maximised our chances 😕 TTC is such a stressful thing! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I could have written this myself. Pregnant in September, went for an early scan in November to find out i'd miscarried. Had my first period 12th December and was due to ovulate over Christmas. I've been using OPK sticks so i am hopeful but still waiting to test.
I had a son already who is nearly 18months old. I feel like im still grieving for the loss which I suppose is normal but i so want to be pregnant as well. Truely the worst experience of my life and not one i would wish on anybody.

I'm also just joining the 30s club and have had the same wobble about my age! In my 20s I was always adamant that I wanted my 20s for ourselves and we've had a great time travelling, establishing careers etc and when I got to 30 that would be the time for kids. So when I fell pregnant a few months shy of my 30th I thought my master life plan had fallen into place brilliantly 😂. I kept saying it was too good to be true - and it was.

Now I get that tinge of anxiety about not falling pregnant again quickly or having another miscarriage and realistically now I know I'll be 31 at the youngest by the time I give birth if all goes well. I don't regret waiting but I am now a little worried we should have started sooner but you can't turn back time. I keep telling myself that it's becoming more the 'norm' to have babies slightly later in life and the vast majority of people manage this successfully. I think I'm moving my next goalpost to 40 😉 let's see what happens over this next decade 🤗🌈

@GoldenBauble I felt the same and was just 31 (little boy was born 1 day after my birthday) when i had my little boy. I'm 33 this year and am a bit more relaxed about it. All the friends I've made whilst on maternity leave were a similar are so now it felt like the right time for me.

@ChampooPapi @MilsCookie Loving the positivity ladies. I let myself grieve for a month and a half- the last part of 2019. But I decided on Tuesday that 2020 would mean not letting myself be defined by tragedy- totally cringe I know! But just because one really sh!t thing happened, by means does it determine the rest of our lives. So bring on the rainbows because there are going to be plenty of them around here!! 🌈🌈

Hey @GoldenBauble are we the same or what? I fell pregnant two months before my 30th. I felt like it was fate as I couldn't have planned it better, it was awesome. But DP and I have a mortgage, we have been to the USA twice and to Thailand, lots of lovely holidays and days out, spoiled ourselves ... as anxious as I am about conceiving again, I wouldn't change that for the world.

But your 30s are a fine time to have babies ladies. And we will get there. 💪🌈

Thanks ladies, I know it's crazy when 30s seem old kinda wish someone would have told me in my 20s how different it was but we weren't ready for no#2 until now. I've started relaxing more about DTD just every 2-3 days throughout il see how that goes as it was just crazy past couple months being so regimented. Keep updated see how you all get on maybe 2020 our year!

Hi just joining the thread. I had my first miscarriage 3rd December at 7 weeks, first pregnancy. I was very fortunate the miscarriage was very straight forward. Had hoped to TTC straight away but me and hubby were both ill whist I was ovulating so not much baby making happened. So I'm just a waiting for my period to start post miscarriage so we can start TTC properly. I fell pregnant first time using ovulation tests so hoping I will have a January BFP.

Morning all, am trying to catch up with what I have missed over the past couple of days.

So sorry to find so many of us in this situation, although I guess it provides some comfort in the fact that it a lot more common that most people realise - still doesn't make it hurt any less.

I am now onto CD6.

Am definitely trying to lose some weight and have a diet overhaul!!

xx

I need help! I don’t know if I’ve caught my ovulation or if it’s still to come? The top opk is yesterday morning and the bottom is this morning. I’ve had darker OPKs before but the sudden change makes me think I caught it this cycle.
I’d appreciate any thoughts 😩 thank you!

@disneymummysince2010 sometimes when I am very hydrated my tests and lighter and then go dark again. Do another test later on this evening and if it's still light it's likely you have caught :) but I temp as well so that j know I have caught ovulation

Cycle day 9 today and had a high reading on my opk so DTD but not having fertile CM yet so think it's still early.

@stephyrose that's a good mental attitude. 2019 is gone and onwards to 2020 🥰

@Anny27 I have just mentally snubbed temping. Do you think i should give it a go? :) what thermometer did you buy and where do you record your results? Lots of questions 🤣

I am also 30 and closer to 31 and just trying for first...

Went for scan with NHS today after being back from the holiday.
All is good but she said i was midcycle and should expect my periods in two weeks

I started opk yesterday since i finally had negative pregnancy tests but nothing there... the faintest of faintest lines

Very confused. Can it be a cycle with no ovulation???

I only DTD yesterday properly since MC at xmas

@StephyRose I thought it was weird at first but it really helps me to know that I have definitley ovulated! I use the femometer app and thermometer, it's all bluetooth so once you have taken your temp it automatically puts it on your chart and let's you know when it detects ovulation patterns. I love it haha! Maybe give it a go because cycle (hopefully you dont have to and you get your bfp!!!)

@michette sometimes you can have a cycle without ovulating, it's called an anovulatory cycle but not sure much about them sorry! It sounds like from the scan that you may already be past ovulation for this month. The first cycle after miscarriage is strange I think but you might still be in with a chance this month!!

Hi ladies

I’m new here ... found out I was pregnant (first baby) at the start of December. Last Sunday I started spotting (brown). This wasn’t that unusual to me because I had implantation bleeding. Then it got worse, dark and clots and it was confirmed Monday that I had a Mmc (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks 6 days). I am devastated As is my husband but he is defo more pragmatic than me and v hopeful that it will happen for us which is good I guess). The ultrasound lady told me to wait to pass it. I think I have but I’m still bleeding with small clots and cramps. Anyway I am gasp just gone 36 yo and feeling that I must get pregnant quickly again bc of my age- so scared it won’t happen. I’m so sorry to everyone here who has had the same shitty Christmas and New Year! Here’s hoping for a baby filled 2020. This was not an informative post or helpful For this forum whatsoever I know that but I just need to get the thoughts down and out of my head. I will be ttc ASAP though so will keep in touch. Thanks all xx

But your 30s are a fine time to have babies ladies. And we will get there. 💪🌈

@StephyRose love this! Being 32 myself it was music to my ears. Onwards and upwards, the next few weeks are going to fly by and before we know it there will be pictures of positive tests on here 🌦️🌈

I am so sorry to read what you've just been through, you must be feeling pretty stunned by it all. It is hard, really bloody hard. Sending a virtual hug 🤗