TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

I also just read this quote on a website about baby loss and it gave me some peace. So thought I’d share it with you ladies 💕

“when a women falls pregnant, no matter where she gets to in that pregnancy, whether she has an early miscarriage, late miscarriage, stillborn or that baby goes on to live a long, healthy life… some of that baby’s DNA transfers to the mothers blood stream. Although that depletes over time, that baby’s DNA will always be traceable within the mum’s blood, so a part of that baby will be with you forever.”

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖

@MilsCookie I am crying reading that! That's so amazing 😭😭😭😭

@MilsCookie thank you for sharing the quote. Such a comforting thought to know that physically as well as emotionally our babies will always be with us. xx

@Michette girl let me just tell you I hear you loud and clear! If I hear that man say 'You want another portion?' one more time I'm going to roll over and laugh until my sides hurt 😂

He does this particular gesture like it's an inevitable event, i.e like one has made a mess of the kitchen and needs his assistance in making good.

Thank goodness for you women, I need you all to just plant me back on earth 🌍🌈🤲

@MilsCookie you are incredible ♥️💛🌷💙💜💚

Sorry my ridiculous message came after your truly beautiful and amazing one, you are my rock on here. You are absolutely bloody fantastic 🥰🔥♀️

Feel so shit tonight.
8 days until I'm due and I'm getting that bloated period feeling. Feel so pissed off and angry and just want to cry 😭 can't feel positive tonight. Feel like I'm constantly venting to family and friends and can't speak to them because I'm just repeating myself. When I'm negative it makes my husband negative so don't want to pass that onto him. Feel like I have this different body since my still birth and can't feel good about myself. I'm so upset 😢

@milscookie that quote is really lovely. It made me tear up a bit too.

@leok83 sorry you find yourself here too. Your experience sounds very similar to mine. They believe my baby's heart stopped a few days before my scan. At the time it made it really hard to swallow but now I look back and in a strange way I'm thankful that we found out so soon. I wasn't at the time, I was devastated and just wanted to know why. We had that scan as a reassurance to start telling people and now I keep thinking if we'd had that scan a few days before we would have told our families believing all was well. So in some ways now I'm glad we found out when we did (although I would of course have preferred a different outcome!). I also had the ERPC and my bleeding was intermittent. It pretty much stopped after about 5 days but then came back worse than the immediate days post surgery around 10 days post surgery (which also freaked me out). I was told this was normal to have bleeding which stops and starts. My bleeding eventually stopped after 3 weeks (although it was really light most of this time). Hopefully you make a speedy recovery. Everyone is really lovely and supportive on here so ask us anything

@MilsCookie thanks for your words and the quote. I feel like i have been given a pep talk now and i am ready for the marathon too :)

@ChampooPapi

I am guilty of testing for hcg at 6 dpo.
And i know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds

But for all the ladies wondering about progesterone and aspirin. I talked to my GP today and said id like to have a blood test for CRP count and possibly progesterone and aspiring for the next pregnancy. Her answer was that i only had one MC and i am healthy with no known conditions so i shouldn’t take any of this but give my body a chance to conceive naturally without drugs.

Bit disappointing.

@MilsCookie love that quote xxxxxx

Thanks so much for all your lovely messages of support. It means a lot. My DH has been amazing through it all taking care of me but we are grieving differently. He doesn’t talk about it too much so its just nice to be able to open up a bit more with others who understand.

@GoldenBauble that’s really helpful to know about the bleeding as even though they said it’s normal part of me was still a bit concerned! Thank you!

@Michette I was going to ask my GP about aspirin too so that’s disappointing to hear that’s the response. Seems to be what they say for everything. When I asked could the fibroid have caused the MC was told probably not but it can but unless have 3 consecutive MCs they won’t investigate. I outright said it’s cruel to expect women to go through multiple traumatic experiences rather than investigate and sort out a problem to save all that trauma and grief. Nothing they can do I know as it’s policy but obviously policy makers have never been through what we have been through. Currently still makes me angry as something as simple as checking blood to see if you need aspirin or progesterone shouldn’t be refused until a woman has suffered multiple losses when something like aspirin or progesterone may have brought those beans to full term 😢, It seems so backwards and cruel.

@MilsCookie what a lovely idea that we always have that imprint, no matter how short the time.

@AlviesMam so sorry you’re feeling like that. It does feel like a vicious cycle of worry sometimes that’s hard to get out of. I know what you mean about being disappointed in your body, I have the same feeling when thinking about possible causes, but in another way if the loss is because the pregnancy isn’t viable it’s kind of amazing that the body recognises that. Trying to put a positive spin on a painful situation, but it’s hard

@Michette thanks for the update. That’s so frustrating but I’m not surprised at the same time. I also have one DC already which makes me think they’ll be less inclined to investigate.

@Leok83 so sorry you’re going through this too. Completely agree about it seeming so cruel to have to go through multiple losses.

I feel like we put up with so much that could be investigated or researched just because we’re told it’s normal to have awful pms symptoms or birth injuries or whatever. Surely you could be investigated for low progesterone just to make your quality of life better, never mind enduring losses. Grateful to all of you for sharing your experiences and info so I’m better prepared to get what I need from doctors etc. Let’s get those bfps!

@Michette maybe the Dr is right.
Iv had 2 MC in a row. The statistics show that a huge proportion of women will have one miscarriage but only 2% will have 2 MC and only 1% will have 3 or more

@MilsCookie I had to screen shot both of your posts ... i find myself getting into a negative patch quite often feeling often negative about it and so it is helpful to have a reminder and they will do the trick!! Thank you 💗 Sending love to all you ladies whose words and wisdom keep me sane. 💗

2020 - the Year of the Rainbow Baby! 🌈🌈🌈

Having said that, I have woken up with what feels like period pains .... 4 days before AF due. 😐 Ah well, if it comes, it comes. Always next month.

Only thing is, the closer to March/April we get, the more likely Christmas babies are! 🤣🤣 But at this point I'll be happy with whatever. 💙💗👶🏼🌈

@stephyrose before the miscarriage I was really weird about no Christmas or August babies. But now I honestly just want a healthy baby haha (wouldn't mind avoiding 25th december though 🤣🤣🤣🤣)

@stephyrose @Anny27 that's so weird I've just woken up thinking about potential due dates this morning! As we're not planning on trying until March I had this realisation that March and April are the months for Christmas baby's!

I'm like you Anny, I just want a healthy baby now and couldn't really care when their birthday is. And I say that as someone who very much moans about their early Jan birthday!! Before when my due date was June I thought this was perfect. We have no summer birthdays in our family as everyone's birthdays fall between autumn-spring and I thought how lovely it would be to have a summer baby.

Now I'm imagining a Christmas baby and in think it could be quite magical 😂 I love Christmas and we had planned on doing our pregnancy announcement to the rest of the family at Christmas so it would be quite fitting to have a Christmas baby this year instead!

@GoldenBauble my birthday is early jan too haha!! Not a great birthday but doesn't matter haha :p

Yeah I was so excited about my early June due date!!

Morning ladies 💖 really happy you liked the quote. It definitely gave me some comfort.

I also have been thinking about due dates and even went on the NHS due date calculator and put the date of my LMP in and if I got pg this cycle then my due date according to that would be 7th Oct! 🙈 I feel so silly but was just intrigued. And now I feel like I’ve jinxed it!! 🙄

I’m the same in that I just want a healthy baby at this stage and any birthday would be amazing! ❤️🌈

@Anny27 p.s. happy belated birthday!! Or is it coming up? 🧁 🎁 😘

Hi Ladies, I'm going to jump in on this thread too. I am in a similar situation. Found out at the end of September I was pregnant with baby number two and we hadn't started to TTC yet (took 6 months with DS). We found out we were having twins and miscarried at the end of October. Got my BFN in November and I think I'm on my second cycle now. I'm roughly 8 DPO and I caved and took a test this morning as I've been feeling things since 3 DPO. Got a BFN. I too have tingly/burning boobs, feel sick a few times and have had cramps on and off since 3 DPO. I'm sure AF will be coming when it's due on Sunday. I hate that I feel it literally days after BD! TTC is frustrating!

Good luck to everyone. I'm going to try and not test again until Thursday/Friday.

Symptom spotting 🚨 . Opinion???

I have lower back pain and that feeling that something is happening inside for me its like i want to push.
I had these uncomfortable feelings from 12/13 dpo last time and thought was my periods... but i dont think it is i am 8 dpo.

Didnt want to be having any symptoms at all but cant help but think it’s this 😒

Someone tell me i am ridiculous please

Michette,

I’m a massive symptom spotter. Just the way it is when ours TTC. What you’ve said could be AF or pregnancy. When do you think you’ll test?

I’m also 8 DPO and I tested this morning as I have no will power and I got a BFN. I’ll probs do it again in a few days.

X

@Michette @BecsterG
I’m symptom spotting too! I’m also testing every day..... I don’t care if it’s ridiculous I just feel better if Iv peed on a stick lol 😂

The heavy feeling could be implantation?? Most common day for implantation is 9 DPO

Last time I had a dull ache in my very lower back around 8/9 dpo

I have no other symptoms except sore and tingling boobs .... I’m not feeling hopeful 😔

I can beat you all - took a test at 2dpo 🤣 hear me out....I knew it wouldn't be positive but I wanted to see if there are indents in the tests as I swear I often see a faint line! I couldn't see a faint line so gives me confidence in the tests ready to use from 12dpo now......

@Cruiser1 do you normal for rep your boobs like that? When I was trying for my son 3 years ago I use to get it when I was ovulating but I’ve not had it since and I’m definitely getting that on and off now. I read somewhere that if the symptoms continue after 10 DPO it’s a good sign.

How many DPO are you?