TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

Its crazy @mlax and @DisneyMummySince2010 as the symptom spotting is driving me crazy.

I last DTD on 04/01 as it was either day of ovulation or the day before (Clearblue ovulation test had a smiley face and this was second day of smiley face). I haven't DTD since as we found a programme very .... rigorous 🤣

But as I say I am driving myself crazy. Last time at 4DPO I had a tingly nipple, which I have had the last few days but not as severe, so could just be hormones?

I have fallen asleep on the sofa in front of the TV before 8PM twice this week already which is unusual for me but maybe it's just because I'm back to work?

I keep feeling like something is in my uterus but is it just because I am used to feeling pregnant and clutching at straws?

Gah, I hate it. Cant wait to know either way.

Hi @MilsCookie, I'm joining in late if that's okay. Had an early mc on Monday (still ongoing I suppose). First pregnancy and we'd only been ttc for a couple of months so could be worse; I'm hoping I'm able to get pregnant (and stay pregnant!) again in the next month or two.

Forgot to say I've had weird sticky, slimy CM AFTER ovulation as well. Which is odd. I don't think I was still ovulating as I had negative tests after the 4th.

Eugh, this is a bloody mental minefield.

Yes same! @StephyRose I'm constantly on google at any new symptoms and come to think of it, I'm just not fancying any food recently!! I never know what I want to eat but is that just me being fussy?! I need to stop reading into it!

Not going to lie though, think I'll be disheartened if I'm not but I guess I only DTD once pre ovulation and that was the day before so I guess I can't expect much.

Not usually one for wishing time away, but that's all I want!!

X

Awww @mlax those symptoms sound really promising! Il keep the fingers crossed it’s a BFP very soon for you ❤️

Hello all! Hope you're all doing well. Welcome to any newbies! :-)

@Anny27 no ovulation signs yet but it's still quite early for me (on CD14) and I ovulate around CD18. Hoping my cycle isn't too messed up after the mc! I'm supposedly in my fertile week according to my Flo app, so we are just dtd every day at the moment as don't want to miss it!

@BS9790 I also wasn't sure about when to count CD1 from for my first cycle post mmc. I started with light pink dc about a week before the proper bleeding started but even then it wasn't much and I ended up having to have medical and then surgical management. I counted CD1 from the first day of 'proper' bleeding and then my period came back on CD31 (but 26 days after I had the surgery). Are you going to ttc straight away this month before you have a period? If so good luck!! xx

@MrsB16 hope you're doing ok today lovely. It's funny the things that set us off isn't it. I was watching Peaky Blinders the other day and it was an episode where Ada was going to the hospital to have a scan and I just burst into tears!! We have to remember that these feelings are completely normal and it will probably be a long time before we feel ok. I'm not sure it's something we'll ever get over though. I'm sorry your period hasn't come back yet... you might want to try taking vitamin B6 supplement as it's supposed to regulate your hormones. I started taking that and then 3 days later AF showed up. Could have been a coincidence but might be worth a try. Fingers crossed she comes soon for you!

Thanks @StephyRose! We are doing plenty of dtd haha - my DP is loving it! Good luck to you and any other ladies at the moment in the TWW. I'm super excited for you all and really looking forward to seeing some BFPs on here soon! Keep us updated with your symptom spotting! xxx

Thank you @Cruiser1 me too. I'll keep you all informed anyway as I read this thread regularly although I can't keep up!

@Anny27 @AlviesMam one of us better get a bfp or I think I'm going to have some sort of burning type ceremony! Not sure which type! But mark my words I will find some things to burn and possible chant in a Rachael, Phoebe & Monica style (Valentine's ex boyfriend bin burn). Surly one of you two are going to catch this month 🤞

CD 13 today for me but partner not back until tomorrow so one more sleep and we can start the continuous sex again 😆

Not much else to add other then January is crap, down with January! Going to get out for a long walk this afternoon (so many long walks these past months) and tire myself out , the whirring brain needs it !

Hey @MilsCookie, sending all the love and baby dust your way I can muster too ✨👣🎇🌈

@mlax dont be disheartened as I conceived last time by DTD once that cycle, the day before ovulation! So there is definitely a possibility!!

@MilsCookie ❤❤

@MilsCookie yes, want to start trying again this cycle. Just if I should of counted from first bleed on 20th, then this month would certainly be a no go!
I guess only time and patience will tell. :)

That's how it happened for me the first time 🙈 but I wasn't trying then and now we are 😕 @StephyRose fingers crossed x

@ChampooPapi thank you so much lovely, same to you!! 💫 btw love those baby dust emojis! ✨👣🎇 🌈!

This is definitely tmi...but anyone else wonder if the speed of which the sperm shoots out has an effect?! If we haven’t dtd for a few days his sperm seems to shoot out at a greater speed 🙈😂 no joke I literally felt it hit my cervix the other night 🤣🤣🤣 I was like - do it EXACTLY like that again when I’m ovulating! 🙈 just felt like it sent it straight to the right place!! 😳🙈😂

@BS9790 if I were you I would just go for it but don’t be disheartened if it doesn’t happen this month. Big love and lots of baby dust to you ✨👣🎇🌈 (thank you @ChampooPapi for those! 🙊😁)

@StephyRose i also had this CM after ovulation in November when i got pregnant.
Even thought to myself now that it’s over here comes the good CM

Sorry I'm still getting used to these abbreviations, what is CM? Google won't help 🙈

@mlax cm = cervical mucus! EWCM = egg-white cervical mucus ie. the type that shows up just before ovulation 😁

Ahh thank you @MilsCookie

Feeling really upset today. My sister in law has just sent me a photo of her 12 weeks scan 😔 I would have been 17wks + 4 days today as well.

Ahhh this process sucks x

@mlax ohhhh lovely that must be tough. I know how you feel. Any time I see a baby announcement on social media it gets me! And I found out last week that one of my best friends is having a baby two weeks after I would have been due... I felt so sad/envious for a couple of days but I’m feeling better now. I think it’s the initial shock that hits you and you can’t help think how unfair life is!! We all totally get how you feel 😘 it WILL happen for you one day - hopefully even 2020! 💞

@MilsCookie @mlax
I feel your pain - so many people I know seem to be pregnant at the moment. It feels like such a kick in the teeth. Especially as I didn’t know anyone who was expecting the same time as me with when I was pregnant with my daughter. And now every single gathering seems to be teaming with pregnant friends. I’m being a bit of a recluse at the moment as a result - self preservation! So tough isn’t it. Hopefully that will be us so so soon!x

@MilsCookie I’m also coming into my fertile window now according to my app and have flashing smileys in the clearblue OPK so hopefully good signs. Are you going to be DTD every day for the fertile window to be safe? Mine according to flo app is now until 18th x

@Mammacooks it's so hard isn't it. I know what you mean, I found it so hard to be around my pregnant friend and another friend of ours who already has two children... and they were chatting about babies and pregnancy and I'm sat there like 'cool I have no children yet and I've just had a miscarriage!' I know it's not their fault but it does make it hard to be around them, which is a shame. Sigh!
I'm not sure exactly when I'll ovulate but it's usually around CD18 (and I'm on CD14 today) according to Flo app I'm in my fertile window until 15th Jan. So we're just going to dtd every day and hope for the best!

Btw does anyone discuss all of this with their partners? I think it would freak my DP out if he knew how much I know about cycles/conception/ovulation etc and how much we talk/obsess over it!! Thank GOD I have you girls and this thread!

@MilsCookie definitely do not discuss this with my husband to this extent. Occasionally, when I’m sad about it we have a chat and he mainly calms me down (he’s so rational compared to me!) other than that I’ve just told him we need to DTD everyday for the next week or so.
So crazy how much I now know about conception which I was totally clueless on before. Big fingerscrossed girls!

@MilsCookie may I please be your spirit animal! Your awesome basically. I too have a similar situation regards the good friend. Mine is due a month after I would have been this June. It'll be her second and I know it's an awful thing to write and even think! But I'm not happy for her, I'm just not. I think pretending to myself and you all is not good for me personally, I need this space to be honest about all those things I just couldn't dream of being honest about in my day to day. I am genuinely happy for people on here though or in the wonder context, I get this boost of hope and just pure joy when someone posts a bfp on a thread here (especially this one obviously!).

But this particular person I just need to feel really pissed off about being pregnant right now.

I will be happy for her when the babies here absolutely. But right now, very pleased I have zero social media other then mumsnet.

And @MilsCookie i wish I had your strength, you are amazing 💪💜

Please lead us wherever we go 😂🤗

I'm exactly the same @ChampooPapi purely because everything me and my DP do, they've copied. And it's actually my DP's brother ... so my sister in law. But it's only because it's them.

I just did a hpt with all these symptoms I'm having and shock, it was negative 😂 but I know I am too early to test if I was. I must have spent a lot of pregnancy tests and ovulation sticks in the last 2 months. I have an obsession... how do I get out of it!?