TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

@SunStruck avoiding pregnant ladies / babies is impossible for me as out of my 7 closest friends locally I'm the only one who doesn't have a DC under 2! But I try to make the most of the opportunity to be an awesome 'auntie' to their little ones, three of whom are under 10 weeks. Each time there's a new pregnancy announcement it still stings (had two within the past month....) but I try to focus on being happy for them all rather than dwelling on my own situation as I would be very lonely if I avoided all pregnant ladies / mums of newborns!

@Avocuddles thanks for your reply! I was thinking the same thing, leave it until early next year to see where we are at. I don't think I'm in the headspace of always going to hospital, especially not in December when I want to focus on happy celebrations and Xmas.

I'm praying for little rainbows for all of us next year 🥰

@Avocuddles great you get some auntie practice in before your rainbow 😃

@SunStruck Hey lovely. I am in a similar position, although with one MMC so far, but with what appears to be an endless period of TTC following it. I am pretty certain having watched my cycles for a few months now that my body needed 3+ months to recover from the MMC, things were all over the place. It will be 12 months of TTC for us in March, so very similar to you and your DH. We've agreed that we'll give it a go naturally till then, and go to see my GP in March, as well as go to private tests then. I would like to think we won't need long-term help such as IVF etc, but what I would like to know is whether there are any issues that can be easily helped with, whether by way of taking clomid, progesterone, baby aspirine etc., simple things. I still have some hope that things will pan out OK in terms of getting pregnant again, but it diminishes every month. I now think I'll focus on the next best thing and try to think that we might only need a bit of help, and it will work out fine, just few more months of patience.

I know its hard and I really know exactly what you mean. I'll tell you as an outsider who gets it, you are trying too hard and it's making you feel worse. You seem to be feeling guilty if you don't try next month, but really there is no guilt to be had, girl, you've been through hell of a lot in one year! Your body and your mind have been under constant strain and yet you've remained calm, collected and focused on your TTC mission. You're not a robot, give yourself a short break that you really deserve. You're not reducing your chances, on the contrary, it will probably do you good to breathe out, especially over Christmas ❤️

I'm going on a strict diet after Christmas and I'll be sensible beforehand anyway. I'll shed that stone before March, watch me go 💪

The interview is on Wednesday, I can't wait to get it out of the way and start relaxing before Christmas 🎄 xxx

Hey ladies!

Missed you all, sorry I've been so quiet on here over the weekend. My best friend is here from NY for work and we had this weekend and the next 2 weekends to follow together whilst she's travelling around Europe for work but staying in London on the weekends!

Ohhhhh it's so nice to have her here - after a shit year it feels so great to see a face of someone I'm so close with who I haven't been able to see in 2 years! We had a great night out Saturday with friends, lots of wine, lots of laughing, lots of reminiscing. Just what was needed!

How are you all ladies? @MrsMGE @Avocuddles?

@SunStruck it's difficult seeing AF arrive but don't feel under so much pressure that things must happen. It's been a hell of a year for everyone on this thread I think. It's ok to have some time off, and ok to not get another BFP this year. Small goals in that department, what will be will be! On my next AF I've got to call in to my clinic I went to so they can monitor that cycle. Let the tests begin!

Sending you a massive hug! X

So lovely that you have been able to spend time with a good friend - makes the world of difference sometimes!

@LASandOtto I'm good thanks. Today is my wedding anniversary but I'm away with work so had to celebrate with a glass of red wine and a nice meal with my colleagues followed by a FaceTime chat with DH!

Glad you had a lovely time with your friend this weekend. It's so helpful and liberating to let your hair down and enjoy yourself after all the stress we've all been through. Make the most of your next couple of weekends together!

@MrsMGE good luck for Wednesday! I hope it goes well, you can do it!!!!

Thanks for the welcome back ladies. Been a tough weekend really - visiting a lovely friend but she's 27 weeks pregnant - I'd be 30 weeks had I not miscarried in June and 13 weeks were I not miscarrying now so it was a bit bloody hard to not cry every time I saw the bump (which was all the time as it's pretty big!). It was lovely to see her, bump aside, but I feel exhausted from holding the emotion in.

@Avocuddles sorry to hear you're still being given the runaround by your cycles - hope the fc can help with regulation on Fri. Clomid did wonders getting me to ovulate when my cycles were running to 50/60 anovulatory days (although increased risk of multiples, I apparently chuck out two eggs at a time as standard when I actually ovulate - making up for lost time!)

I'm not sure about the rmc - My first MMC was before DC, and the last one wasn't officially recorded as I never registered with a midwife - wanted to wait until I'd had a private scan and after that there was no point. Actually this one's probably not official either, I had a private scan that confirmed no heartbeat at 10 weeks and phoned epu for advice (advice - wait and see) but haven't been to the hospital yet as I was hoping it would all be over by now. No such luck and I'm going to have to face up to going to the hospital, not even bleeding yet and nearly 3 weeks since scan. Body doesn't want to give this one up.

@LASandOtto that sounds fantastic, to have a friend like that in the first place and to be able to spend time with them doing happy stuff. Hope you have another lovely couple of weekends to come.

Good luck with the interview @MrsMGE!

@Babykent2019 @midgetjen @AdriannaP sorry for your losses too.

@SunStruck I'm totally with you writing 2019 off. I need to get my mental and physical well-being back before I could try again, and in any case I don't think I'll bounce straight back into ovulation as my cycles are long and wonky with PCOS as it is. 2020 it is, if at all.

And happy anniversary @Avocuddles!

Thanks @SunshineCrocodile! FC appointment isn't until the 12th but still not long to wait. It's encouraging to hear your positive experience of Clomid.

Am sorry things aren't progressing naturally for you, I hope you don't have to wait much longer. Do you have a hospital appointment lined up / date at which you should get back in touch?

@Avocuddles happy anniversary and hope you enjoyed celebrating albeit with colleagues - have you got any plans to do anything on the weekend? What's your appointment you've got coming up, it is with your fertility clinic? Sorry if I've misread!

@SunshineCrocodile wow you're really brave to be spending time with your friend at that stage when your own position is so difficult. I'm sure the 'why me' crossed your mind a few times? I can imagine you wanted to avoid the hospital, I associate anxiety and long waiting room waits with that place, plus inconclusive or unhappy scan results. Maybe call the nurses and ask for some advice? Hoping the natural route does start for you soon and you can get through this at home privately. How's your other half coping and handling the situation?

@MrsMGE sister sorry I didn't realise you've got your interview tomorrow???! Gaaaaaaaahhhhh amazing! You'll be fantastic!!!!!!!!!!! After all that's happened in 2019 to you, 'knowing you' 😉 you'll be quite calm about it all? Anyway, I'll be thinking of you!

@ReeRi yes thank you, it was soooooo good just to be back to old times this weekend. Didn't even bother worrying about wine intake and what we ate, we had a great Spanish dinner feast and stayed up for ages.

Just a reminder really that life is now. I know we all wish for a future with our rainbows but the future is tomorrow and we also have to find a way to live and cope with the today. When I visited my friend in Munich last weekend with her little one - well I was reminded, once you've got a little one, life is very different. No lie in, no time together as much as a couple anymore, certainly no freedom to make plans as they'd suit you, life really changes. So, whilst we are waiting for our BFP and our baba to arrive one day I'm going to make a conscious effort to be in the now and enjoy this time we have.

Lots of love to all the other ladies who've joined the thread - sorry I'm crap with tagging but @midgetjen @Babykent2019 and any other woman that sadly finds herself here! This is a lovely supportive thread and welcome to the team BFP 2020!

@LASandOtto it's our next follow up appointment at the fertility clinic to go through the results of our recent tests and discuss next steps.
Having some friends round on Friday evening which will be nice, belated celebrations of sorts.

I am definitely making the most of life for now. Every day is precious and I'm grateful for my health, my husband, my family and friends. I hope 2020 brings us a much longed for child but I'll try not to lose sight of the joys I do have in my life....

@LASandOtto I agree with your outlook and I’m thinking the same. I’d love to be pregnant again and have a healthy baby soon but for now I need to try to be patient (and know that chances are it will happen one day) and enjoy life now rather than wishing it away. As you say there are things we can do now that we might not do so easily with a little one and lots to be grateful for now as you say @Avocuddles.

Let’s hope 2020 brings our rainbow babies 🌈

Hi everyone just been catching up with the thread.

I had my 1st counselling session yesterday which I think helped as it gave me a chance to really really cry and let it all out. I am going back for another session next week.

Sadly I am still getting positive tests ... it will be 2 weeks tomorrow since I miscarried. Its the most horrible thing wanting to see that negative test. Never thought I would be in that situation.

In a more positive note me and my OH are going away a wee overnight to manchester tomorrow and I have booked myself in for a back massage and reiki session today.

Im still avoiding people in general apart from my OH. I just cant face seeing friends and family just now.

Love to you all xx

@MissSparkles81 just wanted to post to say I'm sorry you're going through this it took 3 weeks for my HPT to test negative, 3 horrible, draining weeks. If you get to 4 weeks and still testing positive, I was advise to call the EPU.

Have a lovely time away. Thinking of you x

@MissSparkles81 I was the same after my MMC, avoiding people and even felt socially anxious to leave my house for the first two weeks. I remember going to my hair appointment, the salon is only 15 min walk from my house and I was physically shaking and worried that people were looking at me, as if the death of my child was written all over my face, and as if it was something wrong. I obviously wasn't thinking straight at all, but what I'm trying to say is that this isn't wrong. You've been through something traumatic and you need to let your body and mind do what they need to do now. If you need rest, rest, if you want some time just with your partner, do it. It's ok, and it will be better. I'm so glad you're going to counselling, I'm waiting for my sessions to start next year. You're doing a wonderful job with everything you've mentioned and I promise you you'll start feeling better soon, gradually. Don't push yourself now and it will be fine ❤️ xxx

@Avocuddles Belated happy anniversary to you and DH ❤️ How many years have you been together? PS - I've looked up the Mamma Mia experience, oh my days, I'd love that! I'm thinking about doing it with one of my best friends. Also, did anyone watch Michael McIntyre last Saturday? I was dying watching "Abba-oke", there was a lady from Liverpool who was hysterical, if you have a chance to catch up on it, please do! 😂

Huuuuge thank you to all the ladies wishing me luck for tomorrow, I did read all the messages, but this thread moves so fast that I'm not tagging you all here in case I unintentionally miss someone!! I am calm, I am going for it, no stopping me now 😂💪

Hope everyone is doing ok/better today, I'm really sorry to see so many new faces on here xxx

Also lovely to see so many positive messages about appreciating what we have here and now, it's so true and I hope this attitude will carry us forward. Bring on the happy and healthy 2020 and lots of positive news for all of us on here. I wish everyone well, but I particularly wish all the happiness to all of you, you deserve it more than anyone else ❤️🌈 xxx

Hi ladies hope you're all doing OK. @MissSparkles81glad the counselling helped, it's so important to acknowledge your feelings and emotions and allow yourself to grieve.

@Avocuddles absolutely, positivity and looking ahead is so important!

I think the new year will psychologically really help. I feel like it's been a tough year all round, we've had a few big / expensive things go wrong with the house, then the miscarriage... BUT we also have plenty of things to be thankful for.

Hope you're all having a good week xx

Thanks ladies.

I really enjoyed my back massage today and I ended up getting some reiki too. Never had that before but it was good and I have booked back in for next week on what should have been my 12 week scan

@danielasummer I will do ... I just want that negative so I can try and plan on when to try again. I will def contact them if still positive in another 2 weeks.

@MrsMGE I didn't see Michael McIntyre but might watch it on catch up in my hotel tonight as sounds like the exact kind of thing I need to keep me cheerful when staying away from home!

It was our 2nd wedding anniversary, we've been together 5 1/2 years. Part of me wishes we'd met when we were younger (and that this was my first marriage), but then again every experience we've been through has made us the people we are today.

Good luck again for tomorrow, let us know how you get on!

@MissSparkles81 it took me three weeks after my 2nd miscarriage, I know what you mean about finding it strange / sad to be longing for a negative. Hopefully it won't take much longer. Enjoy your trip with your OH and glad you enjoyed your back massage, both sound very well timed.

@Winkat @danielasummer @ReeRi @LASandOtto @SunshineCrocodile @SunStruck (and everyone else - there are too many of us to list now!) - I hope you are all well. I think of all of you often.

Thanks @Avocuddles I’m feeling ok actually, probably because I’m distracted with work! Also just booked our Christmas getaway so that’s good. Hope you are ok too.

Love Michael McIntyre, didn’t realise he was back on! Will look for that @MrsMGE

Thanks @Avocuddles ... it was a last min decision to go away. I think we both just need some time away from the house together before he goes back to work next week.

@ReeRi @Avocuddles Enjoy a bit of McIntyre! I like him too, but I must say, no one beats Micky Flanagan in my opinion, you've probably seen multiple references to his shows sneaking in to some of my posts, I just love him xxx

Trying to catch up but just a quick message:
@MrsMGE good luck for the interview tomorrow!

Sorry to see so many new joiners, but welcome and I hope you find the thread as useful as I do.

@ReeRi thank you, I’m actually doing ok with the pregnant friends. Trying to remember that I love them and want good things for them as well as for me.

I got a positive opk today, a few days earlier than I’d normally get... anyone else’s cycles shorter after miscarrying? Frustrating as DH has a stinking cold so definitely not up for it, which I totally get but the only chance this month will slip by.

I guess that at least means I can drink over Christmas and not worry 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hope everyone is doing ok, I’ve been reading the messages but find it hard to keep up xx