TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

@Avocuddles thank you for your lovely message re already having DC. I've experienced MMC and difficulty conceiving on both sides of having them and they definitely both suck, every loss is still a bereavement and it doesn't really get easier to accept a loss. But I'm definitely aware of how much harder it is emotionally when you're TTC your first, which is why I rarely mention my children here, I don't want anyone to feel like I'm somehow belittling their experience by being here.

@SunStruck I'm 37, 38 in a couple of months. I could probably ask for a referral to the RMC (I've actually lost 7 pregnancies in total, 3 MMC, a disappearing twin and 3CP) but only one MC is officially on record I think, the rest of my pregnancies I haven't accessed maternity care because I assumed I'd miscarry, and I didn't need any interventions with the miscarriages. So they're not 'official' losses, and I obviously had children in between. Plus I just don't know if I can deal with going through the investigations. I think I'm a bit head in the sand about it tbh, but after 4 in a row last year, I suppose I need to consider that there may be an underlying cause.

@Mumlili8 I hope you're not waiting too long, and in a weird way that they find something so you can get treatment.

@Annie0425 I'm sorry to hear about your MC. I also had a MMC at 10 weeks at the end of November, it's really tough. Hope you're feeling physically ok and that AF arrives soon. We all understand the worry around getting and staying pregnant again, sadly inevitable after a miscarriage but this is a great place for support.

Hey, thanks for being lovely yesterday. I'm still not feeling good, af is awol but I'm definitely not pregnant. Hoping I'll come on soon. I forgot I've got this pinned up by my desk (random but I work on mental health and it was from a group activity I ran a few months ago). Just trying to hold on at the moment.

@Mumlili8 glad you're having a hysteroscopy xx

Hope everyone is OK, struggling to contribute / don't know what to say but hoping I'll be back soon xx

@sunshinecrocodile I understand it must be scary :( but I think it would be good to go if you are entitled (which you should be), just for your own peace of mind! I doubt it can be something too 'bad' because you've managed to get pregnant and have a live birth before. Maybe it's just some hormones that need tweaking or something as simple as baby aspirin and progesterone gel during 2ww? Baby dust to us ❤️

@SunStruck thanks for the gentle push! I think as a first step I might go to the gp and see if I can get clotting factors done and have a chat about aspirin. I've done some research since the last MMC and apparently PCOS can cause thrombosis in the baby/placenta (which would make sense of the 8-10 week miscarriages just as placenta is taking over). So aspirin may be a good call - but I don't really expect a GP to have the specialist knowledge needed to discuss properly, really I just want the go ahead that I'm ok to try it as a 'why not', ie not anaemic or otherwise contraindicated. Pretty sure progesterone isn't the issue as I hold onto pregnancies for weeks after the baby has stopped developing - if anything progesterone is too high!

@SunshineCrocodile I've just been to my private consultant whom I went to see last year after my second MC. I didn't want to wait for a third MC (potentially) to have tests done so was going to have them done now.
Incidentally now I am pregnant I've been there yesterday and today, they've been checking my hCG levels (I'm so hoping they will double 🤞🏻) and in the meantime I've been prescribed baby aspirin, clexane injections x 2 daily and the progesterone suppositories also x 2 daily. I'm really hoping this time it means we get our rainbow at the end! My GP was unfortunately not very sympathetic after my two MCs and wasn't open to doing any tests at all. But I think this really depends on the GP! Let's see what yours says!

Glad you've got a plan @LASandOtto. Really hoping this is your rainbow 🤞

My GP was also not sympathetic @SunshineCrocodile but as we're under a fertility consultant he referred me to the rmc. How old are you? I think if you're over 36 and have struggled to concieve (this applies to me) then you can be seen after 2 mc, but I don't think GPs are aware. I'm waiting for my blood results and hoping my fertility consultant will share next week.

Af arrived today making it a 27 day cycle (I know that's totally normal but is out of my usual cycle). I've only had two 27 day cycles and both were after my miscarriages. I think the anticipation of waiting and knowing af was going to come was worse than it actually arriving. I've got a therapy session tomorrow so good timing I think.

Hope everyone is OK - think most are on the healthy thread!! Hoping all goes well today @Avocuddles xx

Hi and thanks @VenusStarr! Appointment went well thanks. It was just a nurse consultation to go through the ovulation stimulation process. I need to call either after day 35 of my cycle or when AF arrived to book the initial scan in, then hopefully I'll be able to start taking letrozole after that. There might be quite a few trips to the fertility clinic as you need numerous scans on the first cycle to see how your body responds to the drugs, but that doesn't bother me as I'm just glad to be getting the support. They also said that I will have extra monitoring and scans from 6 weeks on if I do fall pregnant which is reassuring. So I'll keep you posted!!!!

Great news @Avocuddles 😊 I'm really hoping we get a similar plan, even though I do ovulate I'm wondering if trying a medicated cycle would help. Not long to wait until I find out.

Hi ladies it looks like I might ovulate this cycle after all. Yes it's later than normal but I'm sure this opk is positive. What do you ladies think?

Also can someone please post the link to the healthy/weight loss thread please

Oops forgot the pic lok

@mumlili8 Looks positive!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3781794-TTC-after-loss-penguins-get-fit-healthy-in-2020?pg=1&order=

Good news @Mumlili8 definitely positive. I think I must've ovulated later this cycle 🤞 for you

@Mumlili8 that is definitely a positive, good luck to you!

Hello ladies,

I've just had a bfp. I had a mc last year at 11 weeks. I know I should be thankful but I feel petrified and also worried about my age as I'm 40 and my husband is 46. I have two older children from my previous Marriage so would b starting again

Congratulations @Samk79 It’s natural to be afraid after a loss but all the best to you

Hope everyone else is ok? I’m on CD4 so will have to start getting DH into bed next week! 😂

Happy New Year everyone!
I've had a read through the last few weeks of posts to try and keep up. Nice to see a BFP and that appointments are going in the right directions for some. For me I had the ERPC on 7th Dec and haven't had AF arrive yet so just a waiting game to see what happens. I have a scan on 15th to check out some ovarian cysts also. 2020 is going to be our year!

Hi all,

@samk79 - congratulations - I really hope things all work out for you! You definitely won't be starting all over again - you will have learnt so much from raising your other children - I hope you are able to start getting excited soon!!

Last time I updated in here I was experiencing a chemical in the second month of TTC following MMC. I was disappointed, obviously, but thankfully it didn't affect me as badly as the MMC did - we tried again last month and again had another chemical - is this something others have experienced following a later miscarriage?!

Anyway, onwards and upwards (that second chemical was harder to swallow!).. we have been trying again this month.. only 3dpo so a bit of a wait - not feeling confident!!

Bit sad that since my MMC nobody has asked me how I'm doing, not even my closest friends 😞 is this something others have struggled with?...

@Samk79 congratulations! :) I know it's more worrying when you're older (I'm 36 and had a MMC last year at 10 weeks and then a natural mc after that at 5-6 weeks) but this is my first, no kids prior. Keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you and that all will go well!

@avocuddles oh finally the ball is rolling! 😄 hopefully you get on the meds soon. Did you ovulate in the end, are you in TWW?

@Mumlili8 definitely ovulated! 🤩 did you manage to dtd?

@turquoisebaby 2020 will definitely be our year!

@didsysquiddlydoo I actually didn't tell anyone (apart from DH) about the second miscarriage. It was so early and no fetal pole was seen, so to me it didn't feel like a real pregnancy so to speak (compared to my first time when I saw heart beat etc). It's just annoying it sets you back in the TTC game because you need to wait for it to stop bleeding, get a negative on test and then wait for cycle to start again... at 36 I don't feel I have much time when im TTC for number 1 and we want 2 😣 I'm sorry for your losses, how early did you lose your two others after mmc?

One of mine and DH:s. New Years resolutions is "Baby in 2020". I just realized that it means we need to conceive by March to be within a chance to give birth this year. The pressure is on 😔 Do you ladies feel pressured?

I'm on 6 DPO currently by the way. My luteal phase is short at 10 days, but I won't test early this time. It's like pissing on money 🙄💸💸💸

OK ladies riddle me this, what day would I / did I ovulate. Today I have creamy cm again.

Do you count the first positive as the start of ovulation or the next day as the real positive and ovulation. This stuff confuses the hell out of me. I can't work out if I should be saying 24 - 36 hours till ovulation from the first day of positive opk or the second day of positives. Also I think that the second day is stronger, but the first positive is a very clear positive. Help I'm super 😕 confused. So will I ovulate on cd13 or cd14

@SunStruck oh yes cd12, 13 and 14 so fingers crossed 🤞 it this is our month.

Hope you get a sticky bfp soon x

@Mumlili8 the article below is worth a read. The short answer is that it's not 100% clear as it does vary by woman but it's probably between CD13 and CD15 based on your opks. Those are amazing strong lines though - I don't think I've ever had one stronger than 1.0 even on the month I conceived!

www.avawomen.com/avaworld/long-lh-surge-last/

@SunStruck I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate in the end. My high was only a 0.6 and ever since then my Fitbit heart rate has been steadily dropping where you would usually expect the opposite after ovulation (similar to BBT). On the months I conceived my luteal phase was 12 days so I will see if AF turns up next weekend, if she doesn't I'll take a pregnancy test to confirm that nothing happened and I'll try to get booked in for a 'no bleed' scan with the clinic so that I can take the period inducing meds and then start on the letrozole. The clinic seem to be very helpful based on my initial appointment, I feel very grateful for being able to access this support via the NHS.
I used to give myself that pressure to conceive. We started TTC in spring 2018 and I was very much in the 'Baby in 2019' camp but it took year to fall pregnant the first time and if that pregnancy had worked out I would have been due last week so 2019 was never on the cards. Where my head is at is that I would just love to have a healthy baby ONE DAY, and whether that's this year or a couple down the line the end result is all that matters. I do however think that if we get to 2021 without a successful pregnancy that DH and I will re-evaluate this journey as I don't feel that I want to put either of us through this indefinitely. I'll be 37 by the end of the year so although the clock is very much ticking the physical 'end' of the road is still somewhere off but if even with the support of the fertility clinic we're not in a good position then it might be that we step back completely and make 2021 the year to travel and experience life after several years on putting life on hold. I think it is helpful for me to have the prospect of something positive to look forward to if this year doesn't work out. If I do have a third loss in the coming months then I'm going to seek a referral to the national miscarriage clinic to see if there are any trials I can get involved with. The more I think about the more clear it is to me that this year is the one for throwing everything we have at TTC, then next year is the one where it's all about us no matter what. Based on my journey so far I'm pretty sure we would only have 1 DC if we get that lucky, I don't feel in a position to even consider timings for having a second (much as we'd like it) as I just don't think it's very likely.

@Samk79 congratulations! It's natural to be nervous but I've come across many women in their forties on these boards who have had 'plain sailing' pregnancies so hopefully you will experience the same.

@turquoisebaby I hope you don't have to wait too long for AF. And yes I am so hoping that 2020 will be the year for all of us!

@didslysquiddlydoo yes I have experienced people not mentioning or asking, I think some people just don't know what to say or do so keep silent rather than risk causing offence. My dad is one of these, he has never mentioned either of my miscarriages. I imagine your 2WW will feel like it's dragging on forever but fingers crossed in about 10 days time you might get the result you hope for.....

@Avocuddles and @sunstruck
Thank you, I know my women are having babies older now but guess it's only natural to worry x

@avocuddles that sounds like an amazing plan! It is true that life gets put on hold for this. I do feel hopeful for both of us though as we have both been pregnant before, we have an issue with long cycles but we're getting some help... it will work :)

Will they put you on any other meds in TWW?

I would have said about CD14-15 @Mumlili8 similar to what @Avocuddles 🤞