TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

@MrsMGE I once read that grief is just love with nowhere to go. In that sense I think it should be there forever but I think it gets easier and we should never feel guilty for feeling “ok”

Hope everyone else is ok

Hi @SunStruck! My nurse consultation was supposed to be today but has been pushed back to Thursday due to staffing. Ironically this morning I had a fairly strong opk so it's possible I might be about to ovulate naturally with a cycle of c34 days which is very good going for me (last one was 60 days with no ovulation.....).
I rang the clinic and they said it's ok to go ahead and DTD as long as we tell them at the appointment, then if things don't work out naturally then we should be able to start the treatment in a couple of weeks time.
Re whether you should try again tonight, I would see how your DH feels. Hopefully last night will have been sufficient, but if you can get him to feel in the mood without performance anxiety then all the better! I just sent a text to my DH telling him that they said we can go for it if we like and he was delighted as I've been making him wear condoms for the past month! It is easy to forget it's hard on men too, from everything I've read on here it is very common for the pressure of TTC to lead to performance issues

Happy new year @bunnythebluewhale! Have you name changed from something I recognized before?!! Haha!

How are things going with you and "the journey"? I hope you could relax over Xmas and NYE and let your hair down a bit! I know I did 😉

What is the name of the other thread? X

@avocuddles oh that sounds great! Short cycle for people like us 🤣 wow fingers crossed. We might be in the TTW at the same time then! Do you temp or have any other possibility to check you've ovulated or not?

Hi @SunStruck I have NC. I was Ree most recently

This is the other thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3781794-TTC-after-loss-penguins-get-fit-healthy-in-2020?msgid=92892000#92892000

Hopefully the link works!

Happy New Year @SunStruck! Nice to read you 🤩 how are you doing?

Can understand going quiet for a while, I did the same over Xmas and just before as had a lot going on!

Ladies - so, I had a bit of a shocker this morning. I got a BFP on my Clearblue Digital Monitor this morning. I didn't expect that as I was waiting for AF today. The monitor makes you do a test every day in the run up to your estimated AF due date, so I did one 3 days ago and 2 days ago and those were negative. I skipped yesterday as thought well, I'm out, and then today the positive! Not sure what to make of it?!

Guess I'll wait and see as it may be a false positive or a chemical?

Just imaging it wasn't and all would end well, maybe third time lucky after our two MCs in 2019?

X

@SunStruck I'm not temping at the moment. I did try it in the past but found it too stressful with a long and confusing cycle. I'll use another opk when I get home from work then we'll give it a go tonight and see what happens....
Come join us on the other thread, it's a good place for general chatting without TTC being the number one focus.....

@LASandOtto tentative congratulations, how exciting for you! I'm hoping there are lots more BFPs to come on here, and that they are sticky ones for us x

Fingers crossed for you @LASandOtto! I think CB is unlikely to give a false +ve🤞

@lasotto oh my god congrats!!! I know it's super early days but what a way to start the year 🥰 did you do anything differently this time around?

@bunnythebluewhale thank you! Ahhh you're Ree - good to see you again 😄 I will join the other thread too!

@SunStruck not really... we did SMEP (more or less tbh, not quite as religiously as we had family around and it was Xmas). I was using the CB Monitor for the first time which took some time getting used to, but it did track ovulation well and can see it being useful for future cycles.

Thanks for everyone's support!

I'll keep you ladies posted! XXX

Well my AF has arrived! I’m actually glad as my PMT is so bad that’s simply a relief. I feel lighter 😃

@LASandOtto gentle congratulations! This is lovely news! A surprise BFP is the best sort. I hope it's a sticky one and third time will be the charm!

@BunnytheBlueWhale sorry AF arrived but I hear you on the relief when the PMT mood cloud finally clears.

Fingers crossed for you @SunStruck. Sounds really hopeful re timings and two follicles! @Avocuddles great news that you might have a good shot at natural ovulation this month! Hope
you both get lucky.

@Broccolilover07 sorry to hear of your MC. As Avocuddles said it's best to wait for a negative test, it shouldn't be more than two or three weeks. I hear you though, I've had two MMC in the past year and tried again straight after the negative test both times. Not to put you off, but I actually had CPs both times in the first cycle post MC which I (unscientifically) think was down to not having enough lining for a fertilised egg to attach to - supported by the fact both of my bleeds with CP have been very light spotting, not proper AF flow. Mind you having a CP is not very different physically to AF so hasn't made a difference in terms of TTC, it's just the extra emotional toll of knowing I've lost another pregnancy.

Congratulations @LASandOtto ❤️ brilliant news.

I'm really struggling, I've done it to myself. I've become obsessed with being pregnant and had almost convinced myself I was. I even dreamt about rainbows ffs. Af is due tomorrow or today, who knows. Last cycle was only 21 days but I'm cd25 today. I had a convincing squinter on a frer on Saturday but just a white space today. I'm more cross at myself than anything.
My therapist said I should try thinking what if things go well, which I have been doing but I've taken it too far to the it's actually happening and the reality is, it's not happening, not even close. Down to earth with a bump. I think it's easier to wallow in the negativity than being hopeful and having those hopes put out.
I'm really sorry for being so negative but needed to brain dump.

@VenusStarr don't think that lovely!

I 100 percent understand your feelings, as all of us do on this thread. Hoping and then being disappointed and then hoping again. It's a horrible cycle of ups and downs! It feels like it's never ending!

But hope is what keeps us going, there will be a future which will be brighter! Like your therapist says, imagine everything working out! It's so much more uplifting than imagining the worst!

None of us having done anything wrong, we are unfortunate to be dealt with these obstacles but someone has to be the minority in a statistic.... and it is us, sadly. But it made us all meet on here, it gave us reasons to be humble again, to live with more awareness, grow closer and stronger with some people.

Please don't feel you're alone. We are all here for you. I'm really sorry for having posted about my positive test today as I am all too aware how it affects everyone else's moods and situations too!

Sending you the biggest hug! X

Thank you @LASandOtto, I did want to put a note to say you've not triggered anything for me. I genuinely am so happy for you. It does give me hope. I wrote out something but then deleted it because I didn't want you to think you'd upset me but then thought you might not think that. Turns out you did. As you can see, far too much thinking going on over here 😔

Thanks for understanding, it means a lot. I'm going to make some dinner, turn my phone off and do more of my jigsaw. I bought myself a new one from the charity shop on Saturday... Rock and roll round here 😉 x

Wait what! @LASandOtto are you pg?? Omg, congratulations ❤️ Keeping everything crossed for you, I guess that health mission will have to be gentle now! Xxx

@MrsMGE well, out of nowhere I had a positive test this morning on my CB Monitor - it estimates when AF is due (today) and it asks you to do tests beforehand. I did two 3 and 2 days ago which were negative. Skipped yesterday as forgot and then couldn't be bothered as thought I was out. Did one this morning and it was positive.

Not sure what to think!

Early days... after two MC's I'm cautiously excited and if it doesn't work out, then at least I know I'll now be offered a referral!

I'll still be on the other thread anyway, I didn't want to post this today there.

I know how much a positive test would mean to others and how hard it is when you're hoping for it yourself and are disappointed.

@VenusStarr I didn't feel offended whatsoever, if anything I am just really annoyed because I didn't want to post this on a day when someone was feeling they're struggling. I know you're all happy for me but I also know how hard it is to hear of positive results, when you're waiting for yours. I really just want every woman on this beautiful thread of support to have their rainbows, that's all I want!

Please don't be annoyed @LASandOtto. I am hopeful that we all get our rainbows ❤️ Xx

I hope you’re ok @VenusStarr You’re not being negative and you don’t need to apologise. It’s tough when you are hopeful and then get a BFN or AF. After going through what some of us have we do well to carry on and I think it’s natural to worry about the future. I’ve been feeling that way the last few days but probably more so because I’ve had the bad PMT.

@LASandOtto I agree that hearing about your BFP gives us hope and you shouldn’t feel bad about sharing as it’s what we are all here for! I am hoping we have another round of BFPs like we did sometime last year...

@lasotto oh I meant did you eat or drink differently, we're you on a health streak, did you try any supplements? 😄so happy for you!

@bunnythebluewhale sorry to hear AF came but at least you can have a big glass of wine this weekend and relax!

@avocuddles how is it going, do you think you ovulated yesterday? 🤞 I did, so officially in 2ww now! I hope at least one of those follicles will work out! I am starting progesterone pessaries today and baby aspirin. I don't have any problems with my progesterone I think but it's just a precautionary thing.

@venusstarr im so sorry to hear you're feeling down. We have all been there... I'd say every month 🙄 this is your first cycle since your surgery so please don't be hard on yourself. I know it's easier said than done. We will both get there in 2020, I'm sure! ❤️

@sunshinecrocodile thanks so much! Yes fingers crossed. How are things going for you? ❤️

@VenusStarr sorry you're down. I understand completely, I think we all do. You have to hold no to hope just to survive, but that does mean you come crashing down when the BFP doesn't materialise. You mustn't feel bad about feeling low, it's natural (and not helped by the PMT slump if that gets you too). I do find that hope gathers again quite soon each cycle so I hope you start to feel a little more positive soon.

@SunStruck I'm ok thanks. I think I'm a bit off balance at the moment as my friend is a month off her due date with the pregnancy she announced just as I miscarried for the first time last year. I should have been 4 weeks ahead of her - instead she's grown a baby and all I've done is lose four in the same period of time. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that and I am honestly pleased for her but I think the realisation that four losses in a row is a bleak outlook for future pregnancies, and how much time has passed just to get nowhere has hit me this month. But I'm making myself remember that I have a lot to be grateful for having already had DC and if it doesn't ever happen again I can live with that.

On the bright side am so hopeful for you! Hope the 2ww flies.

@SunStruck not confident that I ovulated - I had a strong line on a cheapie opk (about as strong as I ever get) but it wasn't strong enough to be a clear positive. It's dropped off again this morning so I guess only time will tell. Last month I had a similar surge at a similar stage but it turned out to be a false alarm as that cycle went on for 60 days! My ovulation induction consultation is on Thursday so I'm hoping that they'll agree that if I go a couple of weeks without unprotected sex and have a BFN (highly likely either way given we only DTD once without protection!) that I can take the provera to induce a period if it doesn't arrive naturally and then start Letrozole.
On what day of your cycle did you ovulate with the letrozole?

@SunshineCrocodile I feel your sadness re babies due around the time yours should have been born. Tomorrow is the due date for my first pregnancy, and a friend was due yesterday so I'm waiting for a baby announcement at any moment. You are right that comparison is the thief of joy, and whilst it's great that you already have DC it doesn't change the sadness of what you have been through over the past year.