TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I've found the last couple of weeks really hard. Christmas is a difficult time anyway as it brings a lot of negative associations. And I struggle with the increased socialising. Combine lots of late nights, nightshifts with work, running around and the pressure to get christmas right I just feel a little swamped, overwhelmed and exhausted. I was at a Christmas do on Friday night on one of my old work colleagues asked casually if I was pregnant yet and I ended up snapping "well I was!"... Cue a rather awkward moment. Another Christmas do Saturday night and because I was in the let's get wasted and dance the night away, my sister in law accused me of being boring and a party pooper. I spent the whole night clock watching and finishing off other people's pudding 🤣. One more do to go and then other the Christmas dinner at my dad's on Xmas Eve, there's no other obligations. Spending Christmas day in bed with chocolate and tea watching trashy films until I have to go to work. Looking forward to this period being over.
To top it off I found a lump in my breast, the doctor doesn't think it's dodgy but asked me to return in January to reassess to see wether it needs further exploration. My other half has said no TTC this month until we have proper answers. So feeling a little stressed and not wanting to waste another month when hopefully there isn't an issue.

@Avocuddles yay for AF!!! Happy to hear it finally came and that you have a plan together for 2020 😃

@VenusStarr I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit more positive, I know you felt really down before. I hope 2020 is all of our year!

So I'm quite annoyed because I've been doing the CB advanced OPK sticks and not gotten any smiley until yesterday morning (flashing). So we DTD yesterday. The thing is that my temp has been up (above cover line yesterday as well as today, I'm really worried I've ovulated early. If I've O early we would have missed the window as we have been too busy to DTD for the past 2 weeks. I didn't temp on the weekend because I've been drinking (Xmas parties and a dinner party on sat), so I don't know what my temp was then. Temp was still low on Thursday last week (last day I tempted last week).

I have only gotten low fertility until yesterday though on OPK so not sure what's going on 😔

I've felt a bit under the weather the past two days so I hope temp rise is due to that 🙄

@Avocuddles I bet your relieved arn't you. Hopefully this appointment will be the start of positive things to come
@VenusStarr glad your more festive xx
@Sunflower1608 I'm feeling the same hun xx
@SunStruck I use the cb fertility monitor with fmu, if I didn't use easy@home opks in the afternoon I would definitely miss my peak. Maybe you just missed your peak x

Yay for af finally arriving @Avocuddles ☺️
Fingers crossed you didn't miss it @SunStruck 🤞
Hope you're OK @Mumlili8 @ReeRi
Sorry you've been finding it tough recently @Sunflower1608 💜

Had my bloods redone yesterday 🤞 I'm seeing my fertility consultant in the new year so hoping they're back by then and he can tell me the results / print them.
Dh has man flu 😕 so we might not even get chance this month as we haven't dtd since before my op. I'm not too worried about that though but definitely think I'm ovulating around cd10 now 🤔

@VenusStarr I'm sure I'll be fine.
I ovulated cd10 too hun. It worries me that it's too early but is there anyway we can delay it a bit (healthily). I'm sure it's not enough time to mature the eggy.
Anyway FF has now definitely decided I ovulated and tbh my temps are really quite high, it hasn't been like this in months.
My concern is my uterine lining is thick enough to support a pregnancy anyway. Only got to wait until 7th January to through all this at the rmc specialist, poor man is going to regret meeting me xx

Oops isn't thick enough, bloody auto correct at its best

I know my sister ovulated early and her cycles are around 21 days @Mumlili8 and she's had 2 children, so don't necessarily think early ovulation is bad, but as we've both struggled and lost babies it is a worry ❤️ I'm not sure about delaying ovulation. I've read about extending the luteal phase but not the beginning part of the cycle. I'm also a bit wary of messing with things. Glad you've not go too long to wait for your rmc appointment xx

@VenusStarr yeah I've read the same. There's herbs to bring it forward but I've found nothing to delay it.

@VenusStarr mumlili8 I ovulate around cd10 too. I was worried that was too early to concieve and did some research on it. I found a paper which tracked ovulation day and conception/pregnancy outcomes where one of the healthy births resulted from an ovulation on CD9. I found that quite reassuring. I’ll see if I can track it down and post a link.

@Sunflower1608 I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with so many insensitive comments. For what it’s worth I think it’s very good of you to even go. Is there any way you can get out of attending the remaining events? Or at least have an exit plan/ good excuse for leaving early so that you can escape if it all gets too much?

I’m sending hugs to anyone who is struggling with the holiday period. I’m finding this time of year very tough. In the same week that I had my TFMR my sister gave birth to her second daughter. I’ll meet the new baby on Saturday and I’m looking forward to seeing them all, but it is really hard. I was ok when I heard that the new baby had been born, but found it really hard when I heard that they were home from hospital. I just really feel that my babies also deserve to be at home, with all the hugs and presents and adoring grandparents, and it feels so unfair that they didn’t get that.

Christmas is a tough time when you are missing someone but I hope everyone manages to have a gentle Christmas and get some rest

Hi everyone ... sorry for the silence just needed some time away. Im very confused as AF arrived last night. From the day I got my negative PT ive been tracking ovulation with opk's and digital tests. Ive been getting flashing smilies the past 5 days but no positive opk's.

How can I have missed ovulation? 🤔

The arrival of AF tho certainly explains why I have been feeling so low the past few days ... well even more than usual. 🙄

Hi @MissSparkles81 I’m sorry AF arrived. If you are only testing once a day I think it is possible to not get a peak. I used ClearBlue with the flashing smileys and static smileys and at least one cycle I got flashing smileys for about 9 days but no static. However I tested with cheaper OPKs in an evening (not every cycle, just once or twice) and I got a positive. So Clear Blue can miss it and in fact I think any test can miss it so to avoid missing ovulation you could either test twice or just dtd regularly every couple of days from your flashing smileys at least.

Personally I don’t want to be too prescriptive and test all the time. I’m not testing this month but plan to try to dtd every 2-3 Days so we are in with a chance

In other news I just got an email from my consultants secretary to say that my blood test for APS was negative. That is a huge relief 😊

@ReeRi I was also using the urine dip opk's aswell and they didnt show anything either. Clearly I have missed it just feeling a bit confused lol.

We weren't trying this cycle as this is my 1st since the mc. Hoping to try again properly in January.

Hi ladies 👋🏻

36yrs ttc#1 (still!)

Each time I get pregnant I feel
I get a little further. So I'm praying the next one will not only stick, but actually grow 🤦🏻‍♀️

Had a lot of chemicals, and 2 losses.
Last one I found out at 7.5weeks bub had stopped growing early on. As I had a haematoma, they got me to wait 2 weeks.
Hormones, gestational sac, all good, but not baby. Had to take meds at 10 weeks.

I'm now on cd28 2 cycles later. I used to use an app to help me ttc. So I've started using it again.
My cycles are 26-27days.
No AF, both tests negative 🤷🏻‍♀️
Last cycle was normal and on time.
I've had so many positive tests that didn't work out very early on, that a negative test to me, is exact that... so where the hell is af?? 🤦🏻‍♀️

@strawberrye I'm so pleased for you, and do wonder if I have a similar issue.
I've just moved a long way from my last fertility clinic. I was approved for ivf.
So I need to get back to the gp and start again.
Just hope I get proper hormone tests this time!

@MissSparkles81 hi hun, its possible that you didn't ovulate straight after and that the lining built up until it could no longer sustain its self (anovulatory cycle) hence AF arriving. You might need a couple of cycles to regulate again, your body has been through a lot xx

@MissSparkles81 Try not to worry about it too much. It probably doesn’t mean anything and as @Mumlili8 said it takes time for our bodies to recover from pregnancy and loss.

@Wishful30 Sorry you find yourself here. I hope this cycle brings good news for you but your body might still be recovering from your last pregnancy. I had a full term loss in February and an early miscarriage in August and my cycles are fairly regular now. BUT last month my cycle was four days longer but I was getting BFNs and AF eventually came for me. You are not out until AF comes 🤞

Hi everyone,

Joining in as I had a miscarriage at the weekend at 5+3. Feeling pretty numb at the moment, and so tired as sleep is just restless and I keep having rubbish dreams about it too. Despite that though, I’m feeling as strong as I can be, and feeling all the feels (good and bad) as they come.

I’m hoping my cycle returns quickly... plan is to have a relaxed TTC approach when I get signs of ovulation again, and if we fall pregnant again then amazing. If not, I’ll get back on the OPK’s in the next cycle. I was very lucky to get pregnant on cycle 2 this time. Hopefully it happens fast again, but also I’m so scared of this happening to me again :(

I’m 37 and this was my first pregnancy. I felt quite a few symptoms straight away, and they’d disappeared within hours of passing the sac on Saturday night - such a shock.

Sending love and hugs to all of you who’ve been through and are going through losses - it’s just so unfair

@TerribleImagination so sorry to hear about your loss. It's an awful experience, I'm glad you're feeling strong but make sure you look after yourself and rest as and when you need it.
I'm 36 and have had two miscarriages this year after TTC for 19 months, both between 7 and 8 weeks. My cycles are all over the place so I'm starting ovulation induction drugs in January (though i'm finally on my period at the moment after a 60 day cycle!). I know everyone is different but from a personal perspective I definitely believe the relaxed approach is a good idea straight after loss. I put too much pressure on myself after my first loss and although I did conceive within a couple of months, after the second loss I took a few months off TTC and felt so much better for it both physically and mentally. Nonetheless I hope you don't have to wait long for that BFP! Do you have any follow up scans / appointments? I hope that everything is back to 'normal' for you ASAP and am sending love and hugs back at you

@Wishful30 sorry to hear about your losses. As the others have said try not to worry too much, it's not unusual for your cycles to be a bit different to usual after a miscarriage and ovulation doesn't necessarily occur every cycle for all women (me being one of them unfortunately....). As you've had more than three losses have you sought referral for recurrent miscarriage investigations?

Sorry you find yourself here @TerribleImagination It’s a very supportive group

@Avocuddles I’m so so sorry to hear what you’ve been through. Thanks so much for your lovely message, and it’s really good to hear that advice about the relaxed approach. Fingers crossed for us both (and all of us in here) for 2020.

@ReeRi It does seem like a lovely group. My closest friend suffered a molar pregnancy last year, so she’s been an incredible support, but she’s also 36 weeks pregnant so will have her hands full very very soon! So it’s good to be able to chat to other people still on the TTC journey after going through this.

@Mumlili8 @ReeRi thanks for the advice ladies 💖