TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

@SunshineCrocodile How are you? well I mentioned a few days ago I had lots of CM a few days later than I usually ov so I wondered whther I ovulated late in which case it is early for me to test so I just don’t know

Hope you’re ok as can be @JuniperAndRose
and also @MrsMGE It does help to have you all to share these things with

Good luck for Wednesday @VenusStarr

Evening everyone. Lots of posts to catch up on so apologies if I'm missed anything.

@MrsMGE re doing things differently in the cycles where we've conceived, to be honest the common thread in the two cycles that I conceived was actually that I wasn't trying too hard or paying particular attention to what I ate or drank! The second time round I was having acupuncture and taking Ubiquinol (as well as Pregnacare) and I do think that the acupuncture may have helped given that it took me a year to conceive first time round and only a couple of months second time. I don't think I'm a particularly helpful case study though due to my long and irregular cycles. Day 45 now with no ovulation and no sign of AF either, very frustrating!!!! I let out my frustration last night via a good catch up with one of my best friends and rather too much wine. Going to try to be as healthy as possible for the next couple of weeks before my fertility appointment though.

@Josie510 I can't imagine how tough it must have been going through your miscarriage during a flight, my heart goes out to you and I hope that you have had plenty of support around you.
Both of my miscarriages happened naturally at 7-8 weeks. First time round bleeding took best part of three weeks to stop and it took a full three weeks to get a negative, second time slightly less. In both instances it seemed as if the bleeding had ended then a few days later I passed more clots. My EPU calls patients three weeks after their loss to find out if they've had a negative yet - if you don't hear from yours then maybe give them a call?

@SunshineCrocodile your experience re Clomid is encouraging (the conceiving part rather than your frustrating journey to get support...). I think that I'm likely to be starting it soon. I've been TTC for 19 months and my cycles have been up to 60 days long, averaging over 45 days, so anything that can reduce them down would be great.
Re Baby Aspirin, I take it along with Heparin due to clotting history, it hasn't helped my pregnancies stick so far but it has kept me healthy (I'm considered very high risk having previously had a major DVT) which I guess is ultimately the most important thing.

@VenusStarr glad your appointment is almost here. When will you hear back about your bloods?
Please don't be harsh on yourself, you have been through a lot, you are right it is time to be kind to yourself and I hope you manage to find some joy and happiness over the Christmas season one way or another.

@ReeRi @JuniperAndRose hope you are both ok this evening.

Evening everyone hope you are all ok. Just been catching up with everyone.

@JuniperAndRose I tested again this morning and got a vvvf positive so hoping that the negative will come in the next day or 2.

@MrsMGE I can relate to some of what you said a few posts back. I hope your ok.

Right I've caught up with the thread at last.

Welcome and sorry for your losses to the new ladies, my heart really does go out to you. I hope this thread brings you support and comfort at such an awful time.

@MrsMGE I've been pregnant 8 time and there was nothing different about any of the cycles. I'm not sure that's a good or bad thing considering the outcomes of them all.
I can't remember who said about having losses right when the placenta should be taking over g do you have any idea why it fails as I've had 3 losses from 9 - 12 weeks. Would asprin help stop this?

AF due in 2 days really not looking forward to it.

As a Christmas wish to you ladies I would love to send you one of my fertility keyring. If you would like me to send you one pm me an address ( I can only send them in the UK really due to postage cost sorry). I do angel's or fertility goddess ones, just let me know which you prefer xx

Baby dust and sticky bean glue to you all x

Good morning everyone. Up ridiculously early as couldn't sleep and making protein brownies as part of my resolution to try and take better care of myself having let myself slump into really bad comfort eating habits over the last few weeks. I'm normally pretty fit and eat well but the mcs this year have really thrown me off course with exercise and eating and I'm carrying over a stone more than I'm happy with. But clearly starting the lifestyle change gently with brownies rather than salad . I'd like to feel in better shape for the new year if we're going to try again. @VenusStarr your post about not being kind to yourself struck a chord with me - I've definitely used myself as a bit of an emotional punching bag and that was a wake up call so thank you for that. I hope you have success with SW and good luck for your hysteroscopy on Wednesday.

@ReeRi I have everything crossed that you're still in with a fighting chance this month.

@Mumlili8 I need to do more research to be honest, but I'm sure I've read somewhere that clotting issues can be a factor in late 1st trimester miscarriage and the aspirin can help. I'll get onto google later and let you know what I find out. I'm usually of the opinion that if there's no obvious risk involved I'll try anything (see list of random supplements I've tried previously!)

@MissSparkles81 I'm glad to hear you're moving closer to that BFN - strange though it seems to be wishing you one, it's closure and a step closer to trying again if that's what you want.

@Avocuddles I hope the clomid helps you too. I know it isn't necessarily a cure-all but I do know personally of several success stories. Wine with your friend sounds like a perfect Friday!

Thank you to those who asked after me, I'm as well as I can be. Passed a few more small clots but the bleeding has generally slowed right down and cramping has pretty much stopped so I think I've been lucky enough to get through it without needing intervention (if lucky is ever the word to use!). Waiting for the bleeding to stop and the bfn now. I still need to go and have a little burial ceremony, but there's a specific place I want to go where one of my other babies is and I want to wait until it's quiet there and I can spend a bit of peaceful time. I'm not particularly spiritual really but it's important to me to say a mindful goodbye.

@JuniperAndRose I've been thinking of you all weekend. Your husband's comment made me feel so sad, at a time like this the last thing you should be feeling is the pressure of scrutiny. You are in my thoughts and will be tomorrow

@Josie510, @MrsMGE, @Anny27, anyone else (sorry if I've missed anyone) - how are you doing?

@Mumlili8 what a lovely kind offer. I will PM you....

@SunshineCrocodile @Mumlili8 aspirin does help clotting factors (as do heparin injections), however there are a small number conditions where it have the opposite effect (ie be a hinderance rather than helpful) so I wouldn't just start taking it without speaking to a doctor first. It's likely they'll be supportive of you taking it but worth them going through your medical history. Have you been tested for clotting factors?

@SunshineCrocodile I hope you don't have to wait too long for your BFN. Your burial ceremony sounds like a lovely idea.

@Avocuddles I'm going to try and get an appointment with the gp for a couple of weeks to talk things through, so won't do anything before then. But I do like to be prepared!

Thanks @SunshineCrocodile I think a burial is a lovely idea, not what you were planning for or course, but now you are in this position and I think it might help to have some closure

I hope everyone els is ok and had a good weekend. I feel quite relaxed actually. DH has his circumcision on Friday so no baby dancing for us until at least Christmas 😬

I mean he had it on Friday. Tbh I’m just grateful he’s ok. Had no reason to think he’s not but have bad anxiety and worry even if he’s asleep so was having major worry on Friday when they took an hour and a half to bring him back from theatre (after telling me about half an hour!)

@ReeRi glad you're feeling quite relaxed and that your DH is ok after his surgery.

I hope that you fill your BD-free month with lots of fun and festivity. I am crossing my fingers that January brings us lots of BFPs....

@SunshineCrocodile thanks lovely. I know its the only time where we actually want to see that negative. I didnt test today so going to do it in the morning.

Im still off work. My Gp has signed me off for another 2 weeks so I have another counselling session tomorrow. Will see how that goes.

@Mumlili8 I would love one of your fertility bracelets. I will send you a pm just now

@Avocuddles Thank you. I hope we get a lot of BFPs in the coming months too. If I am not pregnant this cycle then I will be eating and drinking whatever over Christmas, not that I drink a lot anyway. I hope 2020 brings joy for all of us.

@Mumlili8 That’s so kind of you. I was actually wanting to ask you more about them and might have asked a few pages ago where to buy them (unless I thought it and didn’t ask) 🤔

@MissSparkles81 Make the most of counselling and your time off that you can. It’s so important to have some times to ourselves to recuperate

Baby dust to everyone x

@ReeRi yes hun you did ask me. If you would like a keyring just pm me an address to post too and either angel or goddess.
@Avocuddles yes I've been tested for clotting and tests were all normal. But I was told by Rmc to take asprin from 6 weeks to 14 weeks. Rmc doctor seemed to think taking before 6 weeks can make the lining to soft. Is I've not been ablt to test the aspirin yet as the last 4 mc happened between 41/2 and 51/2 weeks.
@SunshineCrocodile the burial sounds lovely hun. I'm glad your having a physically straightforward mc and it's no too painful. Waiting for that negative test is heartbreaking, I remember the last mmc and erpc the wait for that negative was horrendous. Its very mixed emotions, on one hand you have a positive test, something you've been praying for for months and now that second line is like a kick in the head. Praying for a negative seems strange when normally it's the last thing any of us wants to see. I hope your bleeding stops soon for you, as I know the bleeding is a constant reminder of your loss. I felt I could deal with the emotional trauma better one the physical side was finished.

How are the rest of you lovely ladies getting on?

Spreading baby dusk to you all xx

Thanks @Mumlili8 I will message you

Happy Monday everyone! It’s freezing... Hope you’re all ok as can be

Thinking of you @JuniperAndRose

Thank you @ReeRi ... I have just done another test and its still showing the faintest positive. Its been 3 weeks now and I just want it to show negative so I can try and move on.

I am in 2 minds about trying again this month. Tbh we haven't really spoke about it but I am so conscious that at 38 time is not really on my side and it took us 6 months to get pregnant.

My partner also suffers with performance anxiety at times so its not exactly a straight road ahead.

Sorry Im aware that I am rambling a bit ... just about to get ready to go to my counselling session.

Wishing everyone a good monday.

@MissSparkles81 I tried again immediately after the last MMC - and I think I may have had a CP (hard to tell if it was residual hcg or new!) I don't blame the MC for that though as I know it's perfectly possible to have a successful pregnancy straight after. I actually fell pregnant again in the first full cycle after MMC with the pregnancy I just lost - again, I don't believe it's related to the previous miscarriage as I got so far, just shitty bad luck.

For me, it's against my nature to consider waiting and we'll be trying again as soon as the bleeding stops. I'm an impatient person anyway and I also know my cycles can run to 40+ days easily - I'm also in my late 30s and already have a 5 year age gap between potential siblings so I don't feel that I have the luxury of time. I know people are all different and some people need the time to take stock and recover, but equally I don't think it's wrong to get straight back on the horse if that's what feels right.

Hope your counselling goes well x

@misssparkles81 I think it depends on the circumstances, my friend had a very straight forward miscarriage and conceived next cycle successfully and her little girl is now 3. Whereas I had blood loss causing anaemia and an infection from retained products so I think for me its sensible to wait one cycle and then try again - hoping that cycle comes back quickly haha :)

(Havebt caught up yet with other messages but will do later :) )

@SunshineCrocodile I hope your counselling session was helpful. I understand you not wanting to wait to try as I am no spring chicken lol but at the same time a month in the scheme of things is not a lot of time. Do you think you’d benefit from taking Christmas off so you can have a glass of wine etc?

@SunshineCrocodile @Avocuddles Thank you for your advice and kind words! My bleeding seems to be similar, I keep thinking it’s pretty much stopped and then it will get really heavy again. I think I will maybe leave it another week then before doing another test and then maybe call EPU if it’s still positive.

I seem to have taken a big step back since doing the test, I thought I was coping relatively okay and then saw a positive and feel broken again 💔

@VenusStarr thanks so much for sharing your experience of Tommy’s, I’m so glad they have seen you after your 2 losses and really hope you get the blood results back soon. And hope your hysteroscopy goes okay on Wednesday.
I got a letter today to book an appointment, the first available is April so feeling slightly more hopefully! Did you keep looking online for a cancellation?

Thanks @Anny27 and @SunshineCrocodile ... I am sorry to hear about your CP

My counselling session went ok ... I have another session booked in for next week and then they close till January.

Having a drink etc over xmas doesn't really matter to us as my bf doesn't drink and I don't drink for health reasons.

I guess until I see that negative I wont really know how I feel about properly trying.

This site and thread has been such a help I just want to say a big thank you to everyone.

Glad it helped @josie510. I called up once a week to the booking team, they said it was fine to keep calling but I did feel like a pain! Definitely keep trying - let me know if you need the number, it should be on your letter though. Did you get the information about research trials and the questionnaires? Hope you aren't waiting too long but pleased you're in the system.

Thank you for the well wishes about the operation, only 2 more sleeps (although I don't feel I'll sleep that well tomorrow). Can't believe it's finally here, it sounds dramatic but everything has been focused on getting this done so we can move forward.

Hope everyone is OK xx

@ReeRi think you might have mixed me and @MissSparkles81 up! No counselling here, glad yours was helpful though MissSparkles.

I personally find waiting far more stressful than not waiting. I panic that missing a cycle could mean missing the last chance we'll ever have - probably related to anxiety and a real hatred of not being in control. I don't want to put unnecessary pressure on us (can't time things properly anyway as cycles are irregular and PCOS means ov sticks are unreliable) so just going to go with our usual policy of regular-ish DTD once the bleeding has completely stopped. I don't drink anyway so no real advantage to a Christmas off (apart from maybe missing out on the pate)! I think I'm probably the exception though, I know most people tend to want to wait a cycle or so.

Sorry @SunshineCrocodile I did mean @MissSparkles81 but think it’s cause I saw your comment to her I focussed on you

Hope you’re ok

I’ve got toothache...

BFN again this morning. Feeling really gutted. I don't know why each month I think I might. My partner is so positive but I find it really unhelpful. He makes little quips all through the month that I might be pregnant. Even this morning telling him it's a negative, he replies well you might be testing too early (I'm really not). We also found out that the house we put an offer on has gone whilst waiting for his house to sell. So even the hope of moving forwards in that direction as family has gone. Just feel like I'm so static at the minute and feeling a little resentful. Then feel like a bit of a cowbag for being so negative in the face of his positivity.
It's not really helped that my abusive ex husband after 6yrs of hell has managed to move in with someone, have a baby, buy a house. I know it's not a competition. I can also rationalise that it's not all perfect that end either. But I just feel like how can people who don't deserve these things get it so easy and others have to fight so hard.
Sorry for the miserable rant so early on a tuesday morning