Help - trying to conceive age 40

[skh197]

Been trying to conceive for about 6 months now, just turned 40, i have no children but my partner has a son from a previous relationship so we know he’s fertile! My cycle is driving me nuts. Normally a little irregular by a few days, but 29 days on average. I’m currently on day 34 and no sign of period, just very light spotting for last 6 days. No other major symptoms and been really trying hard not to get my hopes up, but a negative test this morning and to be honest I’m feeling gutted and really despondent. Guess I’m just after any support or similar experiences from anyone in a similar position, as I’m going into panic mode that this just isn’t going to happen for me

Hi OP, we've just moving this up the boards and hope someone comes along to give some advice soon.

I'm the same! 40 and 3 days late for af, but all tests bfn. It's horrible being in limbo!

@ValancyRedfern just noticed this old thread of mine...we’re 3 months on now, how are you getting on? I’m still in the rat race sadly, would love to hear whether you’ve had any good news?

No and we've actually decided to stop TTC. I had an awful time with PND with my DD (now 5) and decided I couldn't face it again after all. I hope you get some good news soon!!!

I am also 40 and been trying for 4months now.
Knowing time isn't on your side magnifies everything so much!
I've had the basic tests done and it appears I am low on progesterone so on my next Dr appointment in two weeks I should be referred to a fertility clinic.

@ValancyRedfern ahh that’s fair enough, that must’ve been tough so I can understand your decision. I hope all is well with you otherwise!

@Holidaywindowshopperaddict it’s rough, isn’t it? Life just didn’t give me the opportunity to try when I was a bit younger, so I do feel somewhat late to the party and hate the whole ‘biological clock’ thing. Good that you’ve had some tests though, at least now you can hopefully address any possible obstacles, do let me know how you get on. I also had some tests - all fairly normal, although FSH was a little higher than ideal, but that’s pretty much an age thing I think. Doctor told me not to dwell on it too much and just keep trying!

I'm 44 in April and hoping to conceive, I'm about 4dpo AF due around 6th feb. The only thing I'm doing is Clue app and taking prenatal vitamins and trying to lose a little weight. Sadly at my age and having had children previously I doubt they'd do many tests on me to check my fertility. I have a clockwork period every month so as long as I'm still having those there is a chance.

Hi @skh197

I’m a little further along from you and in the same position, just wasn’t an option before. We went for our first fertility appointment proper and the doctor was really horrible to why we hadn’t tried before. She asked 3 times but didn’t bother to give me a chance before continuing on to her next question. Im so glad we’ll be put on to another doctor next time after this first assessment as I found the whole thing quite upsetting.

Good news is we still look pretty good at the moment results wise, everything is pointing to us still having a fighting chance

@Ylladyoll hi! Yes I’m sure there’s still every chance! How long have you been TTC this time around, and are you tracking ovulation with the pee sticks?! I wasn’t even sure the doctors would do any tests for me at 40 but they did all the usual bloods & ovulation test for me so I’d say it’s definitely worth a chat with them if you’re concerned. I’m currently 8-9 DPO and AF due 4-5 Feb, so we’re on pretty similar timings! I’m trying so hard not to symptom-watch but failing miserably 🙄x

Since october, no OPK sticks only clue app, convinced these companies really RIP off desperate couples. The pregnancy tests especially frer are so overpriced only gonna take a test once I'm sure I'm late otherwise it gets too expensive!! Hopefully it will be our month fingers crossed x

@poptypingchef hi! Oh that’s so awful that the doctor made you feel like that, as if this isn’t a stressful and emotional enough time without that sort of judgment and criticism from the doctor you’re meant to be able to trust 😡 So glad you’re going to see a different one. And great that your tests are looking good so far, as you say there’s still every chance! I keep trying to tell myself the same thing. When we first started TTC I think I naively thought it would happen pretty much straight away, and now I think I’ve just wanted it so desperately for so long that it feels sometimes like it will never happen.x

@Ylladyoll totally agree. I only use the cheap ovulation sticks so fortunately that’s not really a cost worry, but the pregnancy tests are ridiculously priced for the good ones. Like you, I generally won’t test until I know I’m late because I’d rather use a good quality test and can’t be doing that every day on the run up to AF! Of course it’s easier to say that now, a few days before may be a different story 🙈 X

Also I'm worried about picking up on a very early chemical that seems to cause ladies a lot of distress xx

@skh197 let's make a act to only test after AF is due like the 8th maybe?

@Ylladyoll yes good plan, 8 is my lucky number haha, will hold off until then, assuming AF doesn’t make an appearance!

Deal xx

I'm 40 in June and TTC baby number 2. DD (who took 8 months to conceive) just turned 3. I got my period yesterday which is the 14th failed cycle. I've had blood tests which were fine but I'm starting to think it's just too late and my body is too old

On my 14th failed cycle here too at 41 (42 in 3mths). Currently going through fertility investigations.

@BabyMoonPie don’t give up hope, my best friend fell pregnant with her 3rd and gave birth to her last year on her 41st birthday! I know it can sometimes feel a bit hopeless, but I know so many people who have been successful at 40 plus that it gives me hope! Wishing you lots of luck.x

@MaryShelley1818 hi! Are you having the initial checks - bloods and ovulation tests, or are you further on with the process? I’ve had the basic tests but would be interested to hear what next steps people have taken or are taking, and whether through the GP or privately. Wishing you luck with your tests and TTC!x

Thanks @skh197. I've decided 6 more months and that's it, I can't keep trying indefinitely and I don't want to give birth aged 41

There's a very friendly 40+ thread here that has lots of interesting info www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3737076-over-40-s-ttc-loads-of-baby-dust-to-all-5

@SparrowSG thank you - will check that out!

@Ylladyoll how are you doing? Any possible symptoms at the mo? I’ve been nauseous since Sunday and convincing myself that I’ve got all manner of symptoms, but of course it could just be pre-AF, or just me driving myself nuts!!