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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Smug? Please answer honestly

106 replies

Basil90 · 01/10/2019 08:43

Hi all,

A bit of an odd question to ask perhaps - but if you fell pregnant quickly, do you feel smug about it?

Please only respond if you're able to answer honestly.

Thanks

OP posts:
iwoulddoanything · 01/10/2019 08:44

Why would I? As a haha to those who can't?
That's sick.

BillieeNoMates · 01/10/2019 08:45

I fell pregnant 3 times the first month trying.

Smug? No.
Happy that my body is efficient (in that department anyway, falling apart in most other areas!) and I didn't have to go through the nightmare some women do to get a child, yes.

BillieeNoMates · 01/10/2019 08:46

And thankful.
To be smug over such a thing would be a horrible reaction I think.

Justincase87 · 01/10/2019 08:46

Definitely not smug, but I felt relieved that we didn't have to go through the stress of worrying about whether it would happen - I concieved very quickly twice, sadly the first time I had a miscarriage, and the second time resulted in my 12 week old DD. I found the miscarriage devastating but not having had the struggle of TTC on top of the loss did have an effect on how I dealt with it.

Ledkr · 01/10/2019 08:47

No cos its nothing I did it's all down to timing.
I feel pg quickly with some and took years with another.

moonlight1705 · 01/10/2019 08:48

Mostly thankful, I have a high BMI and was dreading having to be investigated for any issues but luckily it all happened within 2 months. So definitely not smug at all, just relieved.

Whether no. 2 will be as quick is another matter.

thisisthetime · 01/10/2019 08:48

I fell quickly twice. I don’t feel smug at all but I do feel very fortunate since hearing other people’s stories that haven’t been so straightforward.

I feel really sad for friends who have had multiple mc, not been able to conceive or had to go through ivf.

I don’t think anyone in this position would feel smug, certainly lucky though.

Buyitinbamboo · 01/10/2019 08:48

We fell pregnant on the first try with both (I'm 33 weeks with no2) Honestly I sometimes feel guilty. Especially when I meet couples that have been trying longer than we have even been together.

Never smug though.

PrimeraVez · 01/10/2019 08:50

Definitely not smug. Relieved and grateful, yes. DC1 took 9 months, but after that I got pregnant a further 3 times within 1 or 2 months (2 of which ended in MC)

But that said, I think the trying for DC1 taught me a lot about ovulation, fertile windows etc so with subsequent pregnancies, I knew what it was that I needed to do and I was fortunate that it worked every time.

Jigglyjugs · 01/10/2019 08:50

Not at all, that would be a very odd way to feel.

Alarae · 01/10/2019 08:51

Currently pregnant with our first and hit on the first try. I was shocked more than anything as they say an average of six months, and expected the same.

I would never be smug as I have a close friend who has horrible fertility problems. It took me a long time to actually be able to tell her as I knew what she was going through and felt guilty what was so easy for me was near impossible for her.

Daffodil2018 · 01/10/2019 08:51

Hand on heart, no. Just grateful. I feel terribly sorry for friends of mine who've gone through fertility struggles. If anything, I feel guilty that it was so easy for us. (There's that Catholic upbringing rearing its head 🙄)

Tippety · 01/10/2019 08:51

No.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 01/10/2019 08:52

Are you saying you feel smug??

If so then I'd think you were a bit of a nasty person sorry OP. There is feeling lucky or privileged.....and then there is smug!

Lots of people struggle ttc and go through awful journeys to get there and we hate nothing more than the pregnant first time smug ones who shout about it without an ounce of thought or compassion for anyone else

OoopsDidItAgain · 01/10/2019 08:53

No I didn't - but DH did. He made comments along the lines of how we both looked after ourselves and were healthy etc.

We then went on to have consecutive miscarriages which devastated us both and shook his entire perspective, he's much more humble now.

OlderthenYoungerNow · 01/10/2019 08:53

I was surprised and thankful. I don't think many would admit to being smug, even if that's how they came across to others. Do you mean 'smug'?

December2019 · 01/10/2019 08:53

My first took 7 years and it was the hardest thing I've been through! My second took about 7 minutes.... did I feel smug? NO!
Until you have been through infertility and the heartbreak you just don't understand!
I feel incredibly lucky and blessed that I am able to carry my babies (some people aren't that lucky)
My heart aches for anyone going through infertility

PurpleDaisies · 01/10/2019 08:54

Why are you asking? Do you feel smug?

December2019 · 01/10/2019 08:55

Ohh and OP if you are feeling smug... your a bit of a dick!

WanderingAimlessly · 01/10/2019 08:57

I fell pregnant first try for both and I never ever say this out loud! Whenever it comes up (in my place work people are constantly getting pregnant/trying!) I keep quiet or am vague. Those struggling don’t need to know, what would they, or I, gain from me telling them? No, I don’t feel smug. Anyone who feels anything other than lucky is an idiot. Anyone who feels actively smug obviously has something wrong with them.

userabcname · 01/10/2019 08:57

Nope. Fell pregnant first cycle with my first and was honestly shocked as I thought it would take a few months at least. Took 8 months with my second and that felt like such a long time after the first although I know still well within typical range. Definitely no feelings of smugness at any point.

Talcott2007 · 01/10/2019 09:00

Not at all - mainly shocked as I wasn't TTC at all when DD was conceived (The result of failures in 2x different contraceptive methods!) We are now looking to TTC for a DC2 from my next cycle and I am weirdly more apprehensive about it not happening at all! If it does happen immediately I am sure I will feel relieved but 'smug' definitely not.

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 01/10/2019 09:02

I took me five years of fertility treatment and a miscarriage to get pregnant. Soul destroying. And it meant I could always tell when someone else was feeling smug about being so sorry fertile, it sort of radiates.

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 01/10/2019 09:02

*being so fertile

thatwasMauijustmessingaround · 01/10/2019 09:09

The first time I fell pregnant it took a month. I wasn't smug but I hadn't visited mumsnet or had friends who struggled with fertility problems at that point so I had no concept that I was lucky. I was just very surprised and excited that it happened on the "first try" after I'd read that for my age (30s) you only have a 1/3 or 1/4 chance of conceiving each month.

sadly, that pregnancy ended with a tfmr. I had to wait several months before I got the all clear to try again.

I'm 30 weeks now and this pregnancy took about 5 months of trying. I now realise from being on mumsnet that this is pretty good/average. it is a relatively short time to try compared to others I see on here. But am I smug? Absolutely not. I am very thankful, overjoyed, happy, excited etc. Certainly not smug.

I couldn't be smug after reading about people's fertility issues on here. Not only that, but how can you be smug at something you can't control. It's all down to nature largely.