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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Smug? Please answer honestly

106 replies

Basil90 · 01/10/2019 08:43

Hi all,

A bit of an odd question to ask perhaps - but if you fell pregnant quickly, do you feel smug about it?

Please only respond if you're able to answer honestly.

Thanks

OP posts:
cinderellainyellakissedafella · 01/10/2019 09:38

My first was conceived after about 7 months of not trying for a baby. My second was a lucky one shot and it took about 3 months for the littlest. Certainly not smug. Not surprised by the first, gobsmacked with the second and grateful for the third ( who will be the last)

Skyejuly · 01/10/2019 09:39

No?
Smug is not the word.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 01/10/2019 09:45

'Smug' is having an excessive amount of pride in your achievements (had to look it up, I thought it was thinking I've done something better than someone else).

I am very fertile and got pregnant quickly 6 times.
Sadly I had 4 miscarriages (after a successful pg and birth, so quite a shock) so I am absolutely not smug and 4 of these pregnancies have been terrifying for me.

I would say I am grateful for being able to get pregnant easily but not smug.

I have had two home births and I probably am a little bit smug about that - although again, I'm mainly relieved and grateful I was able to have such straight forward births.
Nevertheless I must admit to feeling a bit like I've achieved something
(I also fully accept this is totally unreasonable and I logically I know I have performed no better than a CS mum, moreover any 'success' in the birthing department is purely physiological and lucky, and I can take no personal credit for it!).

FetchezLaVache · 01/10/2019 09:46

I conceived quickly and mainly felt shock and relief as I'd been diagnosed with PCOS, but my best friend was going through infertility hell at the time, so it was tinged with a huge amount of guilt and sadness (bf now has children through egg donation and I have completely failed to conceive number 2, thus confirming my view that it's bugger all to feel smug about in any case!).

Paythosebitchesnomind269 · 01/10/2019 09:59

Relieved and shocked, lucky but not smug

TinyTear · 01/10/2019 10:08

i conceived on my first or second attempt 7 (SEVEN) times, but then miscarried 5 (FIVE) times... it's not getting pregnant, it is also your body being able to carry...

so, no, not smug, after the first, each pregnancy felt scary and a rollercoaster

Mammyofasuperbaby · 01/10/2019 10:08

I felt blessed as I have fertility issues and wasn't even sure I could even get pregnant, but certainly not smug. We ended up having our son 7 weeks early in life threatening circumstances and feel so lucky to have him here with us.
We've been trying for our second for nearly 2 years now. It took me a year to fall pregnant again but it ended in mc and 4 months after that to fall again but it ended in mmc. Its amazing I can fall pregnant at all with my condition but I'd never be smug about it

December2019 · 01/10/2019 10:09

@Basil90 don't jump to conclusions (especially if you're going to call someone a dick in the process!)

I said "IF" you are feeling smug I didn't say "you ARE a dick"

PastaSauceHoarder · 01/10/2019 10:16

God no, not smug. Thats horrible. I feel incredibly lucky and grateful.

My toddler was a surprise baby from the one time we got carried away and didn't use a condom. Second pregnancy was conceived four weeks after deciding to TTC which sadly ended at 12 weeks due to TFMR, and my current pregnancy was conceived three weeks after my induced miscarriage.

We're SO grateful that our much-wanted babies were conceived so quickly but I'd never ever be smug about it. I just really appreciate how lucky we've been.

Whoops75 · 01/10/2019 10:19

Not smug

Had it very easy and felt bad when others struggled.

tisonlymeagain · 01/10/2019 10:20

I fall pregnant very easily, I'm not smug about it, I feel incredibly lucky and I'm grateful for that.

Raphael34 · 01/10/2019 10:23

I didn’t feel smug, but my partner was a little. I’d previously tried for 5 years with an ex with no success, but accidentally fell pregnant within 6 weeks of meeting my partner (still together after 14 years). My ex tried to cause aggro when I first got with my new partner, and I think he felt he got one over on him getting me pregnant straight away

whywhywhy6 · 01/10/2019 10:23

Not smug. Relieved and surprised. Then I felt very guilty (stupid, but true) because my older sibling had been trying for many many years and I knew telling them would be extremely difficult. And it was.

They now have three lovely healthy kids so it worked out in the end, thankfully, but it was very hard for them and I was acutely aware of that.

OohthatlovelyNigelfromBabyClub · 01/10/2019 10:26

I was grateful and relieved, not smug.

Disfordarkchocolate · 01/10/2019 10:27

Three unplanned pregnancies (2 contraceptive failures and 1 common sense failure). Only planned pregnancy it took 2 weeks to get pregnant. I wasn't smug at all, just happy to be pregnant (and surprised but given my history I don't know why). I know a few people who have had difficulties so I think smug is the last thing you should be.

crabbyabby · 01/10/2019 10:29

Relieved, happy, grateful - yes

Smug - I don't think so

I don't want anyone to suffer the battle of infertility

PetraRabbit · 01/10/2019 10:31

I'm going to be honest and say the second pregnsncy I did feel very smug. Smug is a bit of a difficult word as different people interpret it differently. I suppose a better word in my case might be invincible, like normal rules didn't apply to me. I was nearly 43 with a 6 month old baby and got pregnant the first month trying. I thought it was all because I'd looked after my health so well and that it tied in with me looking younger than my age. I started planning a third, thinking the world was my oyster. I lost the baby at 10 weeks. So not much reason to be smug.
I'm pregnant again, due soon at the age of 44. It's hard not to feel a bit privileged to start TTC at 41 and be able to have two children. I feel less "smug" this time.

ChilliMum · 01/10/2019 10:32

Not smug at all in fact I was a bit shocked. Pretty much everyone I knew (that was trying) had taken between 6 and 12 months or longer if they had fertility issues so I really had it in my head that it would be the same for us.

We fell first month and it sounds awful as I should have just been incredibly happy and grateful but I panicked a bit as I thought I would have more time and got a bit cold feed / worried are we really ready / should I have waited longer etc...

I got over the cold feet but then I guess I felt a bit embarrassed about my naivety and reaction so smug was pretty much the furthest thing from my reaction.

Pinkpanther473 · 01/10/2019 10:32

Fell pregnant extremely quickly all three times. Smug is not the word but I don’t share my story with everyone.
My story includes unplanned pg not in ltr, hyperemesis, horror at conceiving again so quickly, hyperemesis, fullterm still birth of my son, happiness at conceiving again then guilt at my intense disappointment at not having a boy in my current and last pregnancy.
I love my family and am very grateful for it and I would hope not to come across as smug. Everyone has a story and their own struggles though.

CalamityJune · 01/10/2019 10:35

I've fallen pregnant 4 times, all of them have been on the first month of trying. I feel lucky and relieved, but not smug, no. Two of those pregnancies ended in miscarriage which then meant I couldn't try again for around 4 months each time. I'd have rather just had 5 bfns and keep going than go through that.

ReadyPayerTwo · 01/10/2019 10:35

When trying for my second DC I fell pregnant almost immediately but it was ectopic.

Straight after that I fell pregnant immediately again but miscarried.

Soon after that I fell pregnant immediately again and that became my DD.

So absolutely no smugness there.

SinkGirl · 01/10/2019 10:57

If there was any hint of smug, it was tied up in feelings of anger at doctors who’d told me from 17-25 that if I wanted a baby I had to do it now or it would never happen. After 25 I was told not to even bother, basically. So I did do a mental middle finger to those doctors when I conceived first time at 33. Other than that it was shock and feeling massively fortunate, especially as I knew many in my position who’d been very unfortunate.

It ended up being twins and both are disabled so no smugness whatsoever, quite the opposite.

WishMyNameWasWittyNotShitty · 01/10/2019 11:01

Relieved, thankful, grateful, but not smug, I was just glad that we had been lucky, especially after seeing numerous loved ones have a ttc struggle, and the heartache, upset and stress that brought.

BogglesGoggles · 01/10/2019 11:03

No...a basic bodily function isn’t really an achievement of mine or a reflection on me. I don’t feel smug about being tall either before you ask.

SweetAsSpice · 01/10/2019 11:06

Not smug. Lucky. Motherhood has kicked my arse though. Everyone around me is succeeding in comparison. Life gets us all, one way or another. Comparison is the thief of joy. Everyone struggles, we should just all be more aware of and kind to it.