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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Smug? Please answer honestly

106 replies

Basil90 · 01/10/2019 08:43

Hi all,

A bit of an odd question to ask perhaps - but if you fell pregnant quickly, do you feel smug about it?

Please only respond if you're able to answer honestly.

Thanks

OP posts:
KUGA · 01/10/2019 09:12

I wouldnt use the term smug myself,especially as someone could stand next to you who cant conceive.
But a big CONGRATULATIONS.
Ps, it took nearly 2 years to conceive my first and 2 weeks for my 2nd I was just happy.

DryIce · 01/10/2019 09:15

Smug seems like a very strange reaction. I got pregnant first time both times, and had pretty easy pregnancies. Having heard issues people have had, I feel very lucky and am glad the timing was right and my body seemed to cope well. But as I had no active control over it, I can't really be smug can i?

ChrisPrattsFace · 01/10/2019 09:15

Four of my friends have just given birth or are still pregnant - every one of them got pregnant on the first try.
One is very smug about it, we tried for years so was difficult to hear but I’m pleased my friends didn’t need to go through what we did!

Horses4 · 01/10/2019 09:17

Smug? Absolutely not. It’s luck not an achievement. I was pregnant at the same time as a colleague who miscarried. I mostly felt guilt.

NearlyGranny · 01/10/2019 09:17

Not smug, but when we were struggling to conceive - it took 7 long, heart-breaking years in the end - my SiL fell pregnant the first month they tried and I had to listen to DM gushing on the phone telling her how CLEVER she was. 🙄 Thanks, mum: I'm infertile and I'm stupid, too.

harper30 · 01/10/2019 09:18

No, I feel self conscious because others i know are struggling so much to conceive. Sometimes I pretend it took us longer than it did

Robs20 · 01/10/2019 09:19

Not smug but surprised at how fertile I am. Both times I have been not been ttc.

PutOnAHappyFace · 01/10/2019 09:19

Not smug at all but I did have a lot of passive aggressive comments (people knew how quickly due to a previous miscarriage shortly before).

Like we were less deserving because it had happened quicker than them.

TheOrigBrave · 01/10/2019 09:20

No, I feel very, very fortunate.

museumum · 01/10/2019 09:21

Not smug no. Shocked. I was 36 and expected a long difficult ride (was around the time the media was full of “fertility falls off a cliff at 35” stories). Looking back the shock probably made me very insensitive. I did a lot of “oh shit that was too easy” to my closest friends without knowing if they were trying/struggling. Tbh until after 12 weeks I felt I “deserved” a miscarriage because otherwise it would be “too easy”.

I try not to mention it now out of sensitivity to others but I’m aware this just adds to the impression that everyone over 35 struggles.

StormcloakNord · 01/10/2019 09:22

I can't imagine anyone feeling smug about something like that. That would be a horrid reaction to being fortunate enough to fall quickly.

With my 1st I fell within the first month of trying, and I think I took that for granted as trying for the 2nd has been hell. I wasn't smug about the first though, that would be such a strange way to feel about something like that.

Original poster
Basil90 · 01/10/2019 09:23

@December2019 don't jump to conclusions (especially if you're going to call someone a dick in the process!)

I was out with a group of friends - we were talking about babies/ conceiving etc. When I told her that we'd conceived on our first attempt (she'd asked) she replied by saying 'wow you must be feeling really smug'. That sparked a bit of a debate amongst the group with another friend agreeing 'anyone who conceives that quickly and says they aren't even a little bit smug is lying'. It had me wondering (and subsequently thinking about my own feelings!)

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 01/10/2019 09:25

No. It wouldn’t ever occur to me to feel smug. I take no pride in how efficient my biological system might happen to be, and attach no moral significance to it. I would think it very odd indeed if someone tried to gain some special self-satisfaction from that (but there are lots of odd people in the world).

Original poster
Basil90 · 01/10/2019 09:25

Maybe I need new friends Confused

OP posts:
meccacos2 · 01/10/2019 09:26

No, I fell pregnant by accident. How on earth would someone have a reason to be smug just because they are all fertile turtle?

MeanMrMustardSeed · 01/10/2019 09:26

No, I might have done but I have three very close friends, one with unexplained infertility, one who had a full term stillbirth and one who has never met the right man and is now in her late 30s. There’s no way I can feel smug with all that going on.

Ninkaninus · 01/10/2019 09:26

Yeah stupidity is rife in the world.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 01/10/2019 09:27

I definitely felt relieved falling pregnant so quickly each time.

margaritaproblems · 01/10/2019 09:27

I fell pregnant in my first cycle with baby 3 (first 2 were happy surprises).

Implant removed 18th June
Positive test 13th July
Pram ordered 14th July (silly I know)
Baby born in March.

I don't feel smug. I can't imagine how anybody could really over getting pregnant. I didn't do it to compare myself to other people: we tried because we wanted another.

crazycatbaby · 01/10/2019 09:29

I got pregnant quite quickly with my first (about 3 months not really trying) and had sex once to conceive my second Shockdefinitely not smug, more surprised and relieved as I'm 35 and overweight and expected it to take longer. I have close friends who are struggling with fertility and ivf and felt guilty having to tell them as I knew how hard it would be for them Sad

Chillisauceboss · 01/10/2019 09:30

Smug?! No - smug implies you are happier than the people who didn't and are secretly pleased they didn't and are a bit gloaty. I felt incredibly lucky / grateful/ happy / relieved.

katmarie · 01/10/2019 09:31

No smugness, just very very grateful, especially after seeing one friend go through fertility treatment, and another who was told at the 12 week scan that her pregnancy was not viable. Plus I have high BMI and am well over 35, so falling pregnant twice feels like a miracle to me. I think its heartbreaking the suffering some people experience trying to have children, to be smug about being able to do that with relative ease would be just a nasty way to behave.

pinkstar01 · 01/10/2019 09:33

I got pregnancy first cycle with my first child and I was just in disbelief more than anything else and extremely thankful as I had close friends struggling to conceive. With my second it took 18 months to conceive so I've been on both sides but felt the same both times, just very thankful

smileandsing · 01/10/2019 09:33

I don't think people feel smug about it as such, but there are definitely some inconsiderate people out there who come across as boasting when they joke about being so fertile they only have to look at their partner to fall pregnant. It's not funny hearing that when you've taken years to successfully conceive. So no I don't think people are smug, but some are inconsiderate arseholes about it.

cinderellainyellakissedafella · 01/10/2019 09:36

Not smug no. That's quite sick in the head.