TTC first baby 1 year + thread 2

[Mrs71]

@KatBeCool @FlapJackered @Broodyaf @bunhead34 @RosettaR @MotherOfShihTzus @starkid @Lina365

I thought I'd start a new thread as the other one is full. Sorry if I've missed anyone out.

[FlapJackered]

@Broodyaf 8 days, that is not too bad. Fingers crossed for you!
Do you mind me asking how much it will cost you overall including flights etc?

[FlapJackered]

@Maisy24 my gp wouldn't test for Amh, so I had it done privately. I think if you get referred to a fertility clinic they will do it on the nhs then. I was just impatient!

[Maisy24]

@FlapJackered thanks for replying I think I'll do the same, do you mind me asking how much it was roughly to get this tested privately?

@Broodyaf I'd be really interested to know the cost of going out there, we're on cycle 15 and if I'm not pregnant by January I'm looking into ivf. It's so upsetting every month


Xxxx

[KatBeCool]

@RosettaR I'm gonna have to say that immediately jumping into "premature ovarian failure" simply based just amh is completely wrong. That specialist basically wants her money by scaring you into ivf with them without doing anything else. Your results weren't that low and might be worth trying a medicated cycle. They can see that way how you respond to meds too without it costing too much.

@Broodyaf that's great news! Don't get discouraged if they don't put any back in right away, from what I was reading, frozen cycles are preferred anyway and are more successful.

@FlapJackered it's definitely AF, so today is CD2. They are going to use the blood they took today for hcg to also get the LH and Estradiol baseline. And going in tomorrow for the ultrasound. Cycle 3, here I come. Meds are on their way. I'm going to add myo-inositol to my pile of medications.

I don't remember anymore who's starting Clomid here, but are they going to monitor?

[Broodyaf]

Thanks ladies! ❤️

[Lina365]

@KatBeCool and everyone else struggling with the smugness - I'm with you. In a way, I'm happy that at least I know now what it feels like to be around smug pregnant ladies when you're desperately trying to get pregnant. I've promised myself to be discrete about it if I'm ever pregnant.

I used to get so upset by my Facebook friends posting mysterious posts like "I'm so sick of this heartburn!", followed by comments from friends like "It'll be worth it!". Followed by me frantically going through their profile looking for more clues. "Another one! Why not me?!" And this was before we were even TTC (I've waited for this much longer than my partner has).
I didn't want to feel like this about people I really had nothing against. I also didn't want to see people I thought highly of going all smug on social media when they were pregnant. When you're struggling with these feelings, it's weird to see people announcing such private news to hundreds of people who will see the announcement totally unexpected, in the middle of their lunch break. It made me think : "If you wouldn't announce that with a loudspeaker to those same 600 people, why do you do it on Facebook?". I know these feelings are mostly caused by my own pain and jealousy.

I ended up closing my Facebook account permanently. It's been almost 2 years and I haven't missed it or regretted it. A very good decision which I believe has kept me sane and helped me focus on myself. It's been nice to get the pregnancy news by phone or when we're meeting face to face. Those who I don't see or keep in touch with otherwise, well, strangely, I've managed without getting updates about their family lives.

[starkid]

@Broodyaf - congratulations and good luck!! xx

[RosettaR]

@Maisy24 amh is just a blood test and it cost £50 where I got it done. On the other hand I don't actually know how useful it is. She said it only goes down slowly so an extra 6 months waiting for ivf will make very little difference, even with low amh. Possibly I would be better off not knowing!

@Broodyaf that's exciting you have ivf booked in, you will be the first of our little group I think.

@KatBeCool thanks so much for your message. But she was actually really nice, and what upset me the most was that when she saw the number she looked genuinely perplexed, and asked me how old I was (like, how can it be this low at your age?). She can't have been after money because she was nhs, if we go for private treatment it won't be with her. The weird thing is the private clinic, who would get all our savings through ivf, played it down much more and were encouraging us to keep trying naturally.

So I don't know what to do now. Either I try clomid next cycle (in about a week), or I get booked in for ivf privately which could be as soon as November. Downsides of clomid are that the nhs consultant thinks it's a waste of time (as I am ovulating without it), there's the risk of thinning uterus lining which then won't help with ivf if we have that soon after, and I don't know whether they are planning to scan me to check what it's doing. Downsides of ivf are the cost, the time off work, and I'm terrified I will have no viable eggs and don't know how I'd cope if that happened.

[SeahorseWilderness]

@Rosettar my mum struggled to conceive for 3 years, had one cycle of Clomid and it worked. I know it’s anecdotal evidence but I really want to try it despite the fact the doctors have also told me it’s a waste of time...it would be a really low effort solution compared to IVF X

[KatBeCool]

@RosettaR are you able to ask for letrozole in place of Clomid? It doesn't affect your lining and works the same way. If you do stay with Clomid, and honestly, even if you go with letrozole, I'd do all those things I did last cycle to help with my lining - gym or exercise every day until 2-3 days before ovulation, extra extra vitamin E, CoQ10, fish oil, yoga poses, and make sure you get up and move around every hour during the day. It helped tremendously.
Just because that nsh woman was nice, it just sounds like she's not very experienced of she doesn't want ivf money, it's one of the two. Without scans, without trying medication and seeing your response, without any sort of examination, she cannot diagnose you with premature ovarian failure. It sounds ridiculous. Yeah your amh is a bit on the low side but it's not 0. It's still adequate. Did they ever do an ultrasound? Were they able to see your eggs? It's far more telling than just the AMH number. Low amh means your reserve is lower but it doesn't mean it's empty like she's implying.

[starkid]

@KatBeCool - are they able to see your eggs in a regular ultrasound? Or a more specialist scan? Just wondering if that was something that was usually done or not, I don't remember my consultant or the people who did my scan mentioning seeing my actual eggs, just my ovaries.

[Mrs71]

@Broodyaf wow how exciting for you. Best of luck.

@RosettaR are you still going to acupuncture?

@KatBeCool cycle 3 I really hope this is it for you.

I had my blood test results back the consultant called me back Tuesday she said my TSH level has increased ever so slightly not by much. It not in the bracket for ttc but she doesn't want to change my medication and I have an appointment with her in December so she'll see me then. Also to do a blood test week before I see her. What is the actual fucking point??? 50mg of propyluracil isn't doing anything my whole point of going to see her was for her to sort my thyroid out? I need it to be over 1 at least and it's not even moved by much. I feel like calling her back today and saying do something. Or I might go privately to an endocrinologist ☹️

[KatBeCool]

@starkid they show up as tiny black dots inside your ovaries during a regular scan. The more the better obviously but even if they see some, it's good news. During my very first scan the consultant pointed out everything he saw so now I know what to look for. The developing follicles are the big black blobs.

[starkid]

@KatBeCool - ah dammit I didn't think to ask/they didn't mention it. I couldn't see the screen that well from where I was anyway. Ah well hopefully I'll get a better view and will ask more questions during the HSG (this is very likely to be next cycle now as they still don't have my referral/test results back in order to book me in next week)

@Mrs71 - that's rubbish to have an appointment where they just decide not to bother doing anything for another 2 months. Like you said, what was the point?! Might be worth just calling again to check why she isn't willing to try anything beforehand.

[Mrs71]

@starkid yeah I've called her secretary asked her to call me back. I've also enquired about fertility treatment privately they've said before they even speak to me about anything my thyroid needs to be in check! I'm not waiting around 2 months for her then to decide what to do.

@RosettaR how much did it cost for you to see an endocrinologist privately if you don't mind me asking?

[PineappleC]

@SeahorseWilderness yeah I know what you mean - I almost feel it would have been better if they'd said there was something wrong...which could be fixed. The "unexplained" bit is the worst, as there is pretty much nothing you can do!

@Broodyaf that sounds really exciting! I'd never heard of that clinic before but looks like a really nice company from their website. Good luck with it 😊

Sorry to hear quite a few of you have got AF recently...it never gets any easier!

Although I am actually celebrating getting AF today. Ironically, having been fully aware there was 0% chance of pregnancy this month, I was still symptom spotting 😅 Anyway, now AF has arrived we can get back to TTC this month 🎉🎉 Was so difficult knowing that we lost last month, I am not a patient person!!

[RosettaR]

@Mrs71 I'm sorry your endocrinologist is being so cautious and leaving it so long between appointments.

I'm still doing acupuncture but only every two weeks, that's all the acupuncturist thinks is needed to get the benefit for fertility. I am wondering about asking to go back to every week though.

The endocrinologist I saw was £280, and blood tests cost extra, but that was a very posh looking private hospital so I would think somewhere more normal might be a bit less.

[bunhead34]

@Maisy24 one of the first tests I've have at the nhs fertility clinic is AMH blood test.
Have you been referred yet?

[FlapJackered]

Anyone with thyroid issues, there is quite an interesting thread going on

@KatBeCool acht that is rubbish, I am sorry. So frustrating for you. Hopefully 4th time is the charm.

[FlapJackered]

Ah crap sent too soon!
As I was saying...Anyone with thyroid issues, there is quite an interesting thread going on....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3695476-Optimal-thyroid-levels-when-TTC?pg=1

Someone has posted optimum levels for ttc and it is quite interesting, also someone said that the nearer to 0 the better? I thought that was too low but it seems like they know their stuff, makes me feel better about my 0.6 result.

[Maisy24]

@bunhead34 I've not been referred. This is our 16th cycle of Ttc and not so much as a symptom or faint line yet!

I've been to the doctors twice, first time I went I had the bloods done to check hormones and then the day 21 to check I was ovulating and they said everything came back perfect. This was at 9 months trying and they said to carry on for another 6 months. I was worried as my period is only a maximum of 2 days after coming off the pill. But the doctor was adamant this didn't mean anything.

I then went back at 12 months ttc as my cycle lengths were different every month (sometimes 27, sometimes 35, and one cycle was 50 odd days). This time they sent me for an internal scan, I had the scan and they said everything was fine. they said the lining was fine also as I was worried about that.

My husband is going for the SA today so hopefully we will get the results of that in the next few weeks. Once I get them I'm going back as I want to be referred.

The bloods wasn't for AMH, will this be tested once we get referred? Although like @RosettaR said I'm not sure I want to know....

Good luck to everyone, you all keep me sane. Just found out my husbands friends are pregnant, and they wasn't even trying

[starkid]

@Maisy24 - such a bummer to hear someone else got pregnant without even trying, when you go through so much yourself for nothing xx
I also haven't been tested for AMH yet as far as I know

[bunhead34]

@Maisy24 you should push to get referred once you get the SA results back.
We had 21day bloods,internal scan, and SA all come back fine and have now been referred.

I think it's quite routine that one of the first tests after you've been referred is AMH - I've had to go and get the blood test in advance of our 1st appointment with the consultant on the 23rd.

Sounds like you're in the same boat as me, we've been trying for around 18months. All tests fine, and never had a sniff of a line either!

It's so gutting when you hear someone else has gotten pregnant,especially without even trying. I'm finding it harder to be pleased for people, and can certainly not face and baby birthday parties / showers I have coming up. No ta!

[Maisy24]

@bunhead34 sounds like we are in the exact same boat, how old are you? I'm 31 in December and feel like time is going so fast. I'm dreading my birthday as not only is it a reminder that I'm another year older with no baby, but I'll get the "are you not trying yet?" And "your not getting any younger" comments

I will push for the referral as soon as we get these results, thanks for the advice. How long did it take between the SA and the referral? I've read some have had to be trying 3 years?

I've just been on Instagram and another one of our friends have announced their pregnant with a scan picture. Im happy for them but it turns my stomach at the same time, which is awful. It's just so hard to see. I feel like everything around us is pregnant.

I swear when it does happen for us I will be really really careful about showing it off, I will always be thinking how it could make others feel. I will definitely not be smug in the slightest.

Where are you in this cycle? I'm on cd 12 so need to ramp up the bd now

[KatBeCool]

@FlapJackered from every more or less medicine-adjacent source I saw, it said that between 1 and 2 is optimal. Little below 1 is fine but you don't want it above 2.

@maisy24 good luck with SA.

So I decided that I'm not temping or peeing on any sticks this time.