The Hut of Gl/Doom Part V- for the unapologetically despondent

[duchesse]

The new hut. Ta-da!

This one is a snug little basement World War 2 type nightclub, with dim lighting, snug velvet sofas, red walls and certainly no politically correct smoking bans. Occasionally certain selected men may be admitted at our convenience.

Sit down, make yourselves at home, and never, ever apologise for feeling like shit. That's about it.

I arbitrarily set myself a 50 cycle limit. I stopped officially "trying" in October, but to be honest was pretty much pissed off and exhausted by the last four years anyway, so had kind of got there already. This does not mean that we have started using contraception again, nor in any way preventing pregnancy. It did kind of happen by itself though, the gentle slide into being so fed up with it all that I no longer cared as much. You can't do it consciously I don't think- if you could, I could have saved myself wasting my late 30s on what has been a doomed venture.

sorry duchesse. reason i ask is that i set myself a deadline of next month and not sure if i should stick to it or not.

anyone listening to the book of the week on radio 4 'waiting for daisy'?

I can imagine that in a couple of years, biology and weariness with the whole shebang will mean I'll really, actually, give up in my head, rather than just pretending to, so that it will happen by accident! If you know what I mean...

I'm also looking at adoption, and I think the process of going through that will mean I can let go of the ttc business naturally.

Oh, and duchesse. Sorry if I snapped at you. It was just a bad moment. There's no monopoly on despondency in the hut, after all!

so much chat without me - i was busy sitting in shitty meetings with shitty people bliss!

Just wolfed late lunch so feel sick and fat and too indigested to go to gym hah!

I also am in denial - though cos cycles so weird never know where I am (popsy grabs diary to check)...I am currently on cd26 of a 35-48 length cycle and had ewcm on cd7-10 didn't believe could be right so didn't make an attempt to get at it fecking brilliant

herby you have special dispenation to be ultra f-d off with it all from me - is like being a milk monitor or a ftc tsar - we all need a reminder that we're not the most unlucky person we know (infact my BF has been told at 32 that has no eggs after chemo 7 years ago - thing is they tested her last year and were fine...I am so angry at the blase way they told her, that they made her wait 6 years before they got round to fertility treatment which she had to fight tooth and nail for cos they said you'll be fine - bastards ! - she is my pull yourself together pops reality check - oh and ronny of course)

Off home to feed DH steak, brocolli and zinc tablets in prep for tomoz - he is cycling his swimmers to the hozzy (with a broken wrist - i could write a bloody book on this i tell you) cos you have to have them there by nine and within half an hour of doing the deed so to speak - is an hour in car in rush hour so impossible - I really really hope they are okay cos I think he'll be devastated - i think I can cope with it better if me if you know what i mean

have a good evening ladies
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hi perky, can't he just do it there? hope the wrist injury isn't related in anyway.

Hi guys, i posted on here ages ago hope u dont mind me coming in again. I totally understand about the DH thing, mine would have been horrified to have had to do his sample at the hospital, it took me long enough to talk him into it in the first place!
I have taken up a cancelled appointment at the hospital tomorrow for a lap and dye, i have had 2 appointments cancelled recently due to hospital being over full. I am a little nervouse and unsure of what to expect, any advice anyone??

Hi, just popping in - not good day, not bad.. just rather blah. Viksam, never had, so can't help with advice, but hope it all goes well with minimum discomfort during and after.
I am not prepared to give up TTC, but does anyone else feel like they are blocking out their lives in 2 week increments?? 2 weeks waiting to ovulate, then 2 weeks waiting to see if you're pregnant. And I can tell myself I won't obsess, but it's not possible to just shut off that part of the brain. And I'm trying to cut down on chocolate and caffeine - so basically miserable on that score!

Message withdrawn

Shreksmissus - I hear you! I've browsed the work police on maternity benefits and such over and over the last few months. Wishful thinking, on my part, I guess.
DH & I talked about me being a SAHM when we had our second baby, but we haven't had the baby yet. We did have 2 miscarriages, and it has made me feel like it's never going to happen. So we decided at the end of May, I'm going to be SAHM regardless, as DS is 18 months and I don't want to miss this time at home with him just because we're waiting (still) to have another baby. But good grief this ttc is draining emotionally - and I'm so tired of it! I just want to get pregnant and have a baby - it's not like I'm trying to bring about world peace or anything! Why does it have to be soooooo difficult!!

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

Thank you. Both mc's were in the last year - and DH practically had to restrain me from leaping at the GP and strangling him when he said "well, at least we know you can GET pregnant". Small consolution, IMO.

I'm definitely going to use your word. I'm "nonchalant" right now, as I'm waiting for ovulation. To some extent, it's that "whatever" time. It's DH's favourite time of the month, anyway! I'm not so sure he's fond of the pre-AF part, as I tend to go back and forth "maybe I am, maybe I'm not...." But I'm just out of the gloom of AF and starting towards the next 2 week stretch.

We're going to be moving in 4 months, so at least soon I'll have other things to fully occupy me and hopefully distract me a bit.

Message withdrawn

Sorry, I probably would have dealt with the comment better if it hadn't been just after the mc started. Time and place, and all that. Wow, 29 weeks! That must have been quite scary! DS was a week overdue. It took me almost exactly a year to get pregnant with him, 6 months with next, and 1 month with next. Now going on 5 months since last mc. I'm just impatient. And I don't like that this obsession tends to overshadow other things, no matter how hard I try not to.

Message withdrawn

Well it looks like it's all over for another month. And part of me was so convinced. As I always am.

Very down. It's now a year since I conceived my last baby, the one I miscarried 11 weeks later. The one thing keeping me going after four miscarriages was the fact that I could conceive easily (usually within 6 months), but maybe now I never will again, and never be a natural mother.

I should go to the GP and see what he can do, but a) dread his 'well what do you expect at your age' answer, b) don't want to be seen to be TTC, as also trying for adoption and don't want them to know (and they interview your GP, apparently). Not quite sure what he could do, anyway. I worry that three D&Cs in two years have broken me. Would a lap and dye spot that?

Anyway. Sorry to ramble on. Having my monthly wallow.

Message withdrawn

Herby - so sorry this wasn't your month.

I think a lap and dye is kind of the definitive 'show us all your problems' thing (that doesn't make sense but hopefully you know what I mean). Things show up on this that don't on a scan or the x-ray thing.

Surely if you go and have a chat with your gp it wouldn't prejudice you against adoption - it would surely show you are just having a sensible explore of all the options before committing yourself to the adoption process ?

Wow at 29 weeks Shreksmissus ! Glad your dd is ok though. I too had problems with my pregnancy with dd and although she made it to 37 weeks before being dragged from me, she had IUGR so was teeny. I've been told that there's no connection between this and my current ftc but I wonder.....

In fact, it was 3 years ago exactly today that dd was forced into this world ! Sadly I can't wrap up and give her the baby brother she desperately wants but hopefully the pink and purple bike she'll unwrap later (after pre-school and ballet !) will be just as fun. Am feeling a bit sad at the whole sibling thing but when I think back to the condition we were both in 3 years ago (AND how hard it is to come about number 2) I realise just how lucky we are to have her so will count my blessings today.

Sorry herby I have no experience of a lap and dye so can't advise.

Wheely - happy birthday to your dd and hope she has a lovely day and enjoys her bike That was a lovely post by the way. I hope I will feel the same when ds has his birthday. I was pregnant when we celebrated it last summer, well I say pg but that's because I didn't realise it had already died.
I know how you feel about wanting a brother/sister for your dd. Our children are roughly the same age (ds 6 mths older) and it is such a lovely stage isn't it.

Bugger Herbs. That is all I can bring myself to say.

Hmmm... I posted earlier and it's not here. Odd. Anyway..

Herbs - sorry. Can't offer any info on procedure, as I've not had one, but hoping both the procedure and the recovery will be easy for you with very little discomfort.

Wheely - happy birthday to your DD. We realise that we're lucky to have DS, so I know how you feel. Sometimes I think "are we being greedy because we want another baby?". But can't help it.

Message withdrawn

Ronshar slinks in, hands out the chablis and shares her news.

I had a BFP this morning. I am not going to get too excited as it may not stick again. I may be back with you soon.

I am going to miss you all. No one listens to my self indulgent moaning with the same sympathy as you ladies.

OMG CONGRATULATIONS RONSHAR So happy for you and hope you don't come back on this thread Hope to see you on the birth announcement thread in 9 months xx