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Original poster

The Hut of Gl/Doom Part V- for the unapologetically despondent

986 replies

duchesse · 01/08/2007 08:56

The new hut. Ta-da!

This one is a snug little basement World War 2 type nightclub, with dim lighting, snug velvet sofas, red walls and certainly no politically correct smoking bans. Occasionally certain selected men may be admitted at our convenience.

Sit down, make yourselves at home, and never, ever apologise for feeling like shit. That's about it.

OP posts:
santasmissus · 08/12/2007 21:43

that reads badly! sounds like i wouldn't have thought she was fab if she had had more probs. of course that's not true. she never ceases to amaze us but any proud and biased parent would say that

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 21:44

not shropshire no! far north!

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 21:45

how old's your ds?

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 21:46

2.8 too, thats why i asked, wasnt just being nosey- honest"

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 21:52

actually i might have twigged that given a lady on your antenatal ward gave birth 2.8yrs ago. you were probably there having ds

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 21:55

lol. how long have you been ttc for now?

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 22:02

we started trying again as soon as bleeding stopped from mc so this is cycle 13.

never "tried" before just didn't stop it iykwim. was a lot more relaxed before mc now positively desperate, although at moment being desperate is taking too much energy so have chilled a bit.

had mc before dd then dd conceived 9months after that but was still more relaxed then. i think part of it, is that now the children chapter has opened in my life, i don't want it to close again just yet.

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 22:03

ikewym

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 22:06

what about you?

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 22:08

2y2m now. we havent really stopped ttc tbh

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 22:08

had always imagined i would have my babies just a ouple of years apart. i really wanted them to grow up close. i do know that age is only a small part of making them close but..well, you know....

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 22:11

i know. i always wanted 5 kids really close together, but....

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 22:19

yeah 5 was my magic number too
seems i have to have rethink tho
still hoping for at least three.

have to be honest though, i don't do pgcy too well do i? if babs makes it to viability, it nearly killed me last time. they did say i am unlikely to start with pe so early or so severely, if at all, next time. my obstetrician has given me an excellent plan for care from the minute i find out i'm pregnant next time

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 22:22

thats good!

santasmissus · 08/12/2007 22:27

well going to say good night now. good to talk to you.

it's really useful to be able to talk to people who actually know a bit about how you feel and who don't actually mind or think you're a cow when you throw a selfish, self-pitying strop now and again

i'm quite new to mn, but wish i'd found mn when i was going through the last mc; it probably would really have helped to speak to other people going thru it aswell.

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 22:32

its been lovely to talk to you too. i really think you need somewhere like the hut to vent and not feel bad about being bitter

downbutnotout · 08/12/2007 22:38

Hey - so sorry to hear your stories santasmissus and merrylissiemas - this stuff sucks doesn't it, but on the other hand so good to to be with people who know what it's like.

For the record for me it's: dd Mar 04, a totally trouble-free and uncomplicated pregnancy that left me pretty unprepared for mcs Dec 05, Mar 07 and Jun 07. Had all the tests, nothing wrong, "just keep on trying". Sigh. Good job my cracking-under-the-strain-of-trying-to-produce-another-child-marriage puts me and dh really in the mood for sex, isn't it?

Sorry, bit tmi, but xmas is the season of whingeing after all.

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 22:44

oh god dbno.s dreadful isnt it? dh andi nearly split up on the day that we found out id mc'd the last time.

downbutnotout · 08/12/2007 22:50

lissie the fact that you're still around to tell the tale after 7 fills me with admiration. Think (hope) dh and I will get it back on track but blimey, it's hard. My heart goes out to you.

My sister has four kids and I'm honestly not bitter about that but it does make me wonder what I did wrong.

Hang on in there!

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2007 22:56

ikwym, i hate feeling so inferior. thanks for the hug

Mich10 · 09/12/2007 20:41

Ladylush - Thank you for some idea as to what I should be asking the consultant. Despite my very advancing years I am a newbie to this ttc lark and all I can say is that 12months in, it ain't going so well! I've being trying to read a book about recurrent miscarraige but terrified myself by chapter 5 re all the things that can go wrong and for the same reason I'm refaining from googling, I'm not sure whether blissful ignorance is better than just ignorance but who knows?

Santamiss, I understand and sympathise completly your feelings re friends & dh's. I have one bf who has a 9 month old and every time we see them I think I'm going to have to get a crow bar out to get her dd away from my dh. I don't think he realises how inadequate it makes me feel and how it increases the pressure I feel for my ancient body to do what it allegedly was made for. My other bf has also just got engaged to be married and I'm very happy for her but last night she just kept going on about how they are going to wait 12 months to get married so that she can get pregnant, deliver the baby and them loose the baby weight before the wedding! I was stuck between laughing, crying and trying not to stangle her. Honestly I was probably just jealous that I'm never going to be that carefree & innocent again . Now of course I just feel bad for being such a cow!I also have to say in her defence I haven't told her about my mc. I live away from home these days so every time we meet up it's a girls night out and althought I feel I need their support it just never seems the right time. Congrats on your engagement, love the ring and did I mention I've miscarried twice in the last 5 months. I just feel it might spoil the mood.

As for putting pressure on your marraige, we didn't almost split up after the last miscarraige but when he piped up that I wasn't helping the situation by "dwelling"! 24 hours after my last miscarraige, he was lucky he made it through the night!It was almost the crowbar again and this time for the patio.

I never get on mn as much as I would like so I'm sorry for the slow responses and lengthy input.

I hope we all get exactly what we want in 2008.

ladylush · 09/12/2007 21:25

Mich - everyone is different re. what info they would like. I was quite relaxed about my consultant appt but when it actually happened I felt quite cheated. They weren't thorough at all. I hadn't read enough then to ask them about different tests and they weren't volunteering information either. I agree that books and google can be quite scary, but it is very useful for finding out what tests should be done. Once these are done you can cross them off the list of possible things causing infertility or m/c. I do not temp as I still have to get up in the night for ds sometimes and frankly I can't be arsed with it all and I don't chart either - some women do all these things. I think we all find different things helpful. How old are you by the way?

merrylissiemas · 09/12/2007 21:30

i temped for a bit (managed to get pg1stmonth but mcd again) so am now waiting til i know whats happening before really trying again.

found out last night that dh's friend's gf i pg. due 1w before i was.why does this happen. i could cope(ish) with my mc's if people didnt keep having their babies when i should!

santasmissus · 09/12/2007 21:56

i feel like i know more people who are announcing pregnancies or newborns in the last year (since my mc) than i have done in the whole of my life. probably just the age and stage we're at or maybe we're just so much more aware of it.

Mich10 · 10/12/2007 08:59

I'm 37 Ladylush and as my doctor says "no live babies yet!", you need to say this in a slightly shocked voice for the full effect.I am vaguely concerned that my consultants appointment is on New Years Eve when everyone will no doubt have other things on their minds and for that reason have written down the tests you suggested to ask questions about. Hopefully this will make them thimk I have some knowledge and force them to focus!

I haven't been temping or charting but going for the very scientific approach of jumping dh, day's 10 through 15 of every cycle. However I travel a lot for work and that's not always possible but we do have a 100 per cent success rate. The twice I've been home on all of those nights in the past 14 months we have ended up pregnant.However I am lucky that my cycle is like clockwork and has returned to it's usual punctual self directly after both m/c's.

Merrylissimuss & Santamissus everyone I know in the universe is pregnant. I am putting it down to the fact that I attanded 10 weddings in an 18 month period ending last Sept, including my own. So guess what everyone is doing now? 1 of the girls is due 4 days after the edd of my first miscarraige and I'm finding that hard. I've not seen her since the pregnancy was announced (that will be my fun Christmas Eve acivity)but every time her husband (who is friends with my dh) goes on about how fab she is and how textbook the pregnancy is I want to scream. Then I very irrationally wonder if all my bad thoughts will lead to bad Karma and more m/c . Practising thinking only good thoughts for the Christmas period and enveloping myself in a champagne haze.