35+ TTC#1 Thread 7

[PixieN]

It’s time for a new thread for a lovely bunch of ladies supporting each other through our TTC efforts, possible IVF plans, possible alternative life journeys and adventures with or without babies after the age of 35. Think that about sums it up

@BambiOnIce80 @79andnotout @CNizzle @VenusStarr @QuantumGirl @Carley321 @Wannabemum38 @Russkispy @Kescilly @Laney79 @Weathergirl1 @Pinkywoo @birdbybird

I’ve included everyone who has posted on the last four pages of the previous thread. Hope that’s o.k as I know some of you have graduated to another thread, but still like to check in and apologies if i’ve missed anyone.

Lots of luck to everyone at whatever stage we’re at 💕

@Carley321, please try and go easy on yourself and take the pressure off my lovely ❤️ Your anxiety sounds a bit like you feel like it's something you are/aren't doing that's stopping you from getting pregnant (and sorry if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick! 😳), but it sounds like it could be the tube thing that's completely outwith your control - so please stop being angry with yourself! 🤗 Once you get that tube unblocked you should be all systems go! 🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀

Oooh, I hadn't heard that half and half is a thing @79andnotout!! Thank you!! 😃 That's exactly what I would like in an ideal scenario, but didn't know if it would be something the clinic would consider? I've read what the hfea has to say about the risks of ICSI and they're basically not sure if the small amount of births with a "disorder" are anything to do with the ICSI itself or the underlying cause of the infertility (ie. the egg/sperm quality is poor, which explains the infertility because an egg that wouldn't naturally fertilise has resulted in an embryo due to ICSI, iyswim?). I'm definitely going to throw the 50:50 suggestion into the mix at our appointment tomorrow 👍 Just have to hope we get enough eggs to do it 🤞🏻 I should get my AMH result tomorrow, so I'll report back 🔮 How're the loft conversion plans coming along? Is the architect/contractor still dragging his feet?

Thank you for being so kind @BambiOnIce80 no you don’t have the wrong end of the stick... I’m always trying my best to put the blame on something... even the blocked tube (in my crazy brain) comes down to me being punished for something I may have done wrong in my life (well aware that I’m nuts). I don’t think it can be unblocked? I don’t really know what the lap is for other than to get a closer look to see the cause and if there’s anything more sinister going on 🤔.

Good luck for tomorrow I’m keeping everything crossed for you. I’m excited to hear how it goes.

Oh my lovely @Carley321 you're making my heart break 💔😢 We've been chatting for well over a year now and I can't believe for one second that you'd 'deserve' a blocked tube for anything you may or not have done wrong ❤️ This is absolutely not your fault. It's one of those bastard-ish things that just happens to good people. You'll be able to have a good chat with the gynae people at your appointment at the end of the month about the lap, but my understanding is that it's basically key hole surgery that they use to have a look at what's going in your tubes and can also potentially remove any blockages whilst they're in there 🤞🏻 I know it must feel like slow progress, but you are getting there 🤗

Thank you @BambiOnIce80 you’re to kind. I know it’s silly but my thoughts are something I have no control over. Speaking about these things really does help though so thank you. I have been under the impression that a blocked tube is done and there’s no unblocking. So 🤞 your answer is for me. Quick question though, if I had a hormone imbalance would that have shown up somewhere in my blood results?

Wishing you so much luck for your appointment today. Can’t wait to hear all about it 🤞🙏 xx

Oh @Carley321 I'm sorry you're feeling so horrible. There is no way you deserve any of this, no-one does! I don't know much about blocked tubes, but my sister had a dye test and was told in absolute terms that she had blocked tubes and none of the dye would pass. She conceived my nephew spontaneously 6 weeks later! So I hate to be that person with the "It'll happen if you just relax" type story but I promise you this one is true, and even if your tube is blocked now, it sounds like theres a really good chance it can be repaired!
@BambiOnIce80 I'm also excited to hear all about your appointment! Update us once you have had a chance to inwardly digest all the info!
Well I'm royally narked today. My cycles are pretty well bang on 27 days. I typically get some brown stuff for a day and then start AF proper. Last month - the AF after my HSG, when we were really hopeful because we had heard stories of people conceiving straight after that procedure - I had a bit of a weird one, a sudden rush of blood one night, then brown stuff for 24hrs, then NOTHING for 24 hours, then proper AF. So I figured I'll take CD1 as when the normal AF had kicked in. Well I started spotting yesterday (CD22) and then today there's more spotting and brown stuff too. I am so annoyed and confused! It has now turned to proper blood tonight (Good morning to you all in the northern hemisphere by the way and apologies for my description of discharges whilst you are eating your cornflakes) I just can't figure it out, was my CD1 the day of the first bleed? So today would be CD25? I mean, that only makes it marginally better, my cycle seems to be reducing itself and I can't afford for it to get shorter, I have given up on OPKs and temping but when I was doing it I would always get an idea of ovulating around CD18 so my LP is only about 9 days...
I need to call my fertility nurse tomorrow and get their opinion if I have actually started AF as then I need to start taking the Clomid on days 3-7. But DP won't be home until about 24 hours after the first tablet and I'm scared to take it without him! It's so weird, I'm not usually this feeble and if you saw me in my professional life you wouldn't be able to compare the two different people I am right now!! I've just really never taken any medication that is this.... profound. And I want him here when I do!

@79andnotout nice to "see" you too! I honestly don't know if I ovulate, my bloods showed I had but from memory looking at their reference range my progesterone at 30.3nmol/L on CD21 was right at the bottom of normal, but apparently confirmed ovulation. I really hope so! If I'm honest I don't think we've been particularly well investigated with just the basic tests done and the specialist seemed quite disinterested and certainly didn't examine either of us etc just chatted for 10 mins and when we said we couldn't do IVF suggested Clomid. I'm at least hoping that if I have low progesterone then maybe a few extra corpus luteum will bump that up! Although if I only ovulate around day 18 would my progesterone maybe not have really peaked yet by day 21 bloods? Hmmm.

Hi ladies, hope you’re all o.k. Thanks for the tag @BambiOnIce80 I’ve been thinking about you all and kept meaning to update you. We‘ve had egg collection today (they managed to get 6) so currently taking it easy and enjoying being off work for the day. The clinic will ring tomorrow with news about how our embryos are doing so wish us luck ladies. We’re having ICSI as DH’s results were just below normal, but better than last time. I didn’t realise you could ask for half and half so that’s an interesting idea. It’s just a waiting game now and all being well, transfer will be next week 🤞🤞🤞

Thank you @Chelonia that has helped. As negative a person as I am these days. I do love a positive story.
I just can’t help feeling that the more time that passes the less likely natural conception becomes.

That does sound confusing, my cycles always seem to have brown spotting for about 2 days before and 2 days after. Having said this until
The af after my hsg my periods were often nothing but the brow stuff with maybe 1 day of a few spots in between (I have had the odd heavier one) but nothing’s consistent. I always class first day of bleed as day 1. Maybe you are just having a good flush out ready for a new cycle 🤞.

Wow @PixieN things have certainly progressed. Sending you lots and lots of good luck wishes. Keeping everyone crossed for you 💜

Crikey, that's an exciting update @PixieN! 🤩 Please let us know how it's looking when you hear from the clinic 🍀🍀🍀

Like @Carley321 says @Chelonia maybe the HSG has sent you a bit out of whack and your cycles are kind of resetting? Definitely best to call the clinic and get their advice.x

Sorry for the delay in updating about yesterday's appointment ladies - we were there for 2 hours and lots to think about. First off, they said my AFC was 7 which threw me off completely because the doc said when she was doing it that it was 10-11 🤨 Either way, it's apparently "good for age" and my AMH was 10.4 - normal for age again, apparently. So I won't have to be on mega doses of drugs when the time comes, which I guess is a good thing 💉 💊 The bad news is that because of where AF falls in November we can't actually start as planned because the egg transfer would end up being when they're shut for 2 weeks over Christmas (just my bloody luck!! 😩). So there'll be no down-regging until December and then the procedure will be in January. I'm obviously disappointed, but it is what it is and there's no point winding myself up about it. The upside is that we can still eat and drink all the IVF prohibited substance when we go on holiday next month 🧀🥓🍾🥂😉 On the actual treatment front, I explained my worries about hard-boiled and slutty eggs and they said that we could absolutely have a split cycle as long as we get at least 8 eggs. We can ask for ICSI if we get less than 8 eggs if we feel that strongly about the fertilisation issue... I say we, but it's actually DP that has to answer for us at egg collection because I'll still be smacked off my tits on fentanyl from the procedure, so it's all on him! 😨 He will be given instructions to follow before the time comes, of course 😉 We also had a bit of a shocker with his SA at the appointment that means we might have no choice and have to have ICSI anyway; his forward motility in his first 2 SA's last year were over 40%, but yesterday it was only 19% 🤷‍♀️ His count had shot up (thank you macca root and coQ10 💊 ), but that wasn't low to start with. If we have to have ICSI only, then I'm alright with that 🙂

So in conclusion, more waiting about for us 😏 I'd like your thoughts on something that DP and I need to discuss over the next 2 months though ladies 🤔 The nurse said that because we're self founded we can opt to have 2 embryos transferred, rather than the 1 you're allowed on the NHS. Would you do it to try and double your chances, but then risk twins?? 👭🤯

Ooh and before I forget @Carley321 - the nurse said that she saw we were also eligible for NHS treatment but had to make it clear to us that because we're opting to go self funded and get it done way sooner, we'll lose the NHS treatment we would have been entitled to. I'm hoping it's different in Wales and they're kind and let you do both, but definitely ask when you get your next NHS appointment.x

Oh @BambiOnIce80 we have been having the twins chat recently as DP read that the clomid raises your chance of multiples significantly and he's all for it 🙄 I've ranted to him about the increased risks to mum and babies and the likelihood of premature delivery with all the attending complications that can bring, but honestly I'm sad to think that even if we do manage to get pregnant, it's likely to be our only child and although I'm not close with my siblings to the point of telling each other all our secrets, I can't imagine growing up without siblings. So in a nutshell I'm no help at all because I think I'd let my stupid heart rule my head and go for two 🙈 My Dad is a non-identical twin, he and my aunt were my grandmother's 5th pregnancy, to think I used to blithely imagine I'd probably have twins too "oh it skips a generation blah blah"!!! 😏
AF here so today was CD1, rang the clinic.... got answerphone and obviously the nurse rang back while I was at work and had to dive into an empty office and lock myself in with the lights off whilst I scribbled cryptic notes in my diary 😂 I've actually told my team about the upcoming meds as I was worried about side effects and needing to nip away from work for scans etc. It helps we're all veterinary so they're all straight up to speed and hugely interested in the process having had a similar case in a patient recently 🙈 But having a lot of conflict with my manager recently and just feel resentful of needing to tell her and know my colleagues will look after me especially if I do manage to get pregnant they'll be able to conveniently make sure I'm busy doing something else if there's gas anaesthetic floating around for example. So hopefully won't need to tell her for a while, if at all...
Anyway, obviously I forgot to ask anything useful to the nurse. I felt like I was leading her rather than the other way around actually, she asked how long my cycles were, I said 27 days but last month 25 so she started talking about taking the CD10 bloods at day 8 instead due to short cycle but then I mentioned when I was temping I'd always show ovulation around CD18 so that threw her so now we've compromised on bloods on CD9 and possibly repeat them CD11 and then a scan... Still quietly bricking it about actually taking the meds!!

Hi. Goodness what a lot going on ladies! Fingers crossed @PixieN for your transfer. @bambionice80 sounds like it was a productive appointment, so pleased that you're on the next step. Likewise, our ACS said we lose any nhs entitlement of you have any private fertility treatment, this policy is scotland-wide. But it's definitely different in each area down south.
AF reared its ugly head today, on OHs birthday, but he's a bit hungover today, we went to see The Divine Comedy last night and her a bit delicate this morning!
@bambionice80 I didn't reply about new York... yes it was fantastic!!! Feels like a lifetime ago now tho, we really pushed the boat out, had some fabulous meals, spent a small fortune. Back to earth with a bump.
Bought my wedding dress last weekend 😁 👰 so if I get pregnant in the next 6 months, it might turn out to be an expensive mistake, but it's not looking likely really, and I couldn't put the dress-buying off much longer for something that's not gonna happen!

Hi @BambiOnIce80 so ups and downs in the appointment? But all sounding like things are still set and looking good to go ahead which is good news, all be it not as soon as you’d like, but at least you get to proper treat yourselves when your away... and maybe over Xmas too? January’s a good time... A new year brings new luck and opportunities 😘.
So is DP still taking the Mac a root? Could he try it again (sorry if I didn’t quite get that but) I got that his SA was better during the time he was taking that, then fell when he stopped?

As for twins.... such a hard call. I guess when we get to this stage all we want is a sticky been and healthy pregnancy whether that be A healthy 1 or 2 babies at the end? 🤔. But like @chelonia said, it obviously comes with its own risks. But what doesn’t! So to conclude... I would have no clue either. I would listen to docs advice on success rates/complications etc and do whatever they say would give me the best chance of conception I think 🤔 oh I don’t know 🙈. Please don’t ask me again 🤣.

I was surprised when doc said about the free/private saga to. But she 100% clarified it. But will defi check with nhs doc too. ☺️

@Chelonia funny thing... or maybe not. But I usually get my peak at CD18 but after the jag last month I have now had it at CD14. I’m trying to take it as a positive 🙏. But strange that it would even mess with us isn’t it.

So nice to hear from you @PixieN glad the wedding arrangements are coming along nicely.

How's the clomid going @Chelonia ? I took it for 6 months when I was TTC with the XH and I just remember the hot flushes/night sweats that came with it 🔥🤒 It's great that your colleagues are being supportive, but a shame about your line manager 😔 I think I'm going to have to tell my boss when the 2-3 times a week scans kick in, but I'm leaving it until I absolutely have no other choice - not looking forward to it at all 😣

Oooh, wedding dress time sounds super exciting @CNizzle! 🤩 I still think it'll be here before you know it 💒

DP has been taking bloke conception vits, macca root and coQ10 for ages now @Carley321 - really not sure why his forward motility took a dive this time 🤷‍♀️ The next time he gets a SA done it'll be when we're having my eggs collected, so very much feeling like 'Russian roulette' on that front! No point worrying about it - what will be will be and they'd do ICSI if the forward motility was low again. Forgot to reply to you about the hormone balance thing (sorry lovely 😔). If you mean the hormones required for TTC, then if anything was out of whack there the CD0-5 & CD21 bloods should have picked it up. Hormones required for non-TTC could be out of whack though because they wouldn't have tested for them (they don't test all hormones unless there's a reason to, iyswim?).

Thanks for your thoughts on the 2 embryos thing @Chelonia and @Carley321 ❤️ As you say, all I really want is a sticky bean so the day 5 blastocyst transfer is the best bet for that. They'll only do day 2-3 blastocyst if we opt for 2 to be transferred, which are potentially less sticky. On one hand, I like the romanticised idea of having twins and getting a 'ready made family', but then I'm very aware about all the increased risks to mum and babies with twin pregnancies... at least we've got a couple of months to mull it over 🤔

I just wrote a huge reply out 😢 and lost it!

That’s very frustrating @BambiOnIce80 I hope it picks up again soon. But at least you have a plan if it doesn’t. I’m glad you have a bit of time to think the embryo thing through, I’d be here until next Xmas... I’m dreadful at decision making at the best of times.

It’s so depressing that we have to tell so many ppl that we are ttc for all the wrong reasons, It would be so nice to be sharing the obvious good news. But I’m hopeful we will all get there in the end 💜.

I asked about the hormones because, after all my lengthy googling I came across it and had some of the symptoms, hair loss, huge spots at certain times, fatigue, moodiness. But maybe I’m looking to closely now. My ttc obsession needs to stop.

Hey ladies lots going on it seems lots of frustration!
I am currently on my TWW again 9DPO and crossing fingers for a BFP on weekend
My DP finally moved here last week and we both began new jobs this week. Hopefully baby making will be easier now in same town. Not much else to report really

Probably best to step away from Dr Google @Carley321! ⛔😉 Easier said than done, I know 😏 How about writing down your questions in a bullet pointed list and take it with you to your gynae appointment? Not long to wait for that one now 🙂

That's great news that you've both now made the move @wannabemum38 🏡 Fingers-crossed for you for the weekend 🤞🏻

@Carley321 I did the same, wrote a huge reply and lost it, aarrggh!! Even though my doctor says I don't meet the diagnostic benchmark for PCOS I do feel like I exhibit some symptoms - horrible cystic acne that has plagued me since puberty for example! And at my scan the other month they could see several follicles on each ovary. When I queried it they said there were several but not enough to be considered "too many" so in my head I've decided I'm borderline PCOS. Which is probably bollocks but in a way nice to have some kind of reason to pin this failure to conceive onto!!! How are you doing, i'm hoping you're feeling better these last few days?
@BambiOnIce80 it's day 4 of taking the clomid and..... nothing. Like, tumbleweed nothing. I haven't had any kind of side effects, which actually worries me as I've convinced myself it's not working?!?Because obviously, science 🙈🙈🙈 Yes I realise I'm a muppet. I've wondered if I've had hot flushes but it has been warm rainy and muggy here so unsurprisingly I've been getting a bit sweaty charging around in overalls wellies and wet weather gear 😏 Do you remember if your side effects occurred during the time you were actually taking the drug or to during the effect that was exerted by the drug ie the multiple follicles in a week or so time...? A friend mentioned she felt constantly "full up" on it but again suspect that was immediately pre - ovulation.

Oh @wannabemum38 it must be such a huge relief to have you and DP finally both under the same roof! My DP has just returned from a month working away and we're taking some readjusting - he keeps messing up my kitchen!!!

I'm 10dpo and took a pg test this morning. Very very faint line. The second line appeared pretty much straight away then faded bit still there if squinted and I shone a torch through it and was there. Don't want to get my hopes up though.

Oh @wannabemum38 that's very exciting!!! Fingers crossed for you!! A word of caution though, I wouldn't shine a light through the strip, as there is definitely a line in the strip there anyway - that's the membrane thingy where the test would show up. So long as the line shows up with colour on it then it is a BFP. I have everything crossed for you!!! X

I know @BambiOnIce80 no googling this month though. I hope. Lol. So far so good.
Yes good idea I will definitely make a list ready for the appoint. Hope your ok after yours 💜.

It’s so annoying isn’t it @Chelonia. So are some doctors that don’t want to listen in depth and look at notes so they may be able to put 2 and 2 together to make a diagnosis. If that makes sense lol. I just find you speak to so many professionals and all of which have different opinions. It get a little frustrating.

That sounds promising @wannabemum38 keeping everything crossed for you.

So another dilemma for me. I have a school reunion to go to sat and I think I will be around 6/7 dpo. If I go to this reunion I most definitely need to drink! Do I test early or just live my life? (Not that I have any sort of high hopes for this month, but still. This won’t just be 1 or 2 wines. I shall be rather tipsy 😳

@Chelonia it's a good few years ago that I took it, but I do think it was either towards the last days of taking the clomid or just after it that I was literally on fire at night to the point that it would wake me up🔥 Think I may have had a bit of a shorter fuse too but, then again, that may have just been down to the XH being a twat 🤔😉

Oooh, tentative congratulations @wannabemum38 💐 That'd be excellent timing! Keeping everything crossed that it'll be stronger in a couple of days 🤞🏻

Hope everything is going well with your embies @PixieN 🍀🍀🍀

I'm literally the worst person to ask drinking advice from @Carley321 🍾🥂😬 My cycle was 3 days longer last month (so, 31 instead of the usual 28). I had ov'd late though, so not to be too unexpected. BFF was visiting at the same time. Temp dropped on CD29, but then went up again CD30 & 31... we literally drank all the wine and gin in a 3 mile radius of my home 🍸 I was the opinion of "🤬 it. We only DTD once and I am going to have a fabulous time with my BFF". And it was so 😊

I'm still here lovely ladies and still following the thread.

I'm flying to the clinic tomorrow and have transfer on Saturday. Gone through DE process and have 12 top quality blasts in the freezer. Will be transferring only 1. Can't believe the time has finally come. It's been a journey and a half! Failed IUIs, IVFs with my own eggs, trisomy in 18. 3 MCs. All in the space of 18 months. Big sigh 😔
Hopefully it will be my last trip home/clinic for fertility purposes. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

I don’t blame you at all 🤣 @BambiOnIce80 it kind of gets to that point though doesn’t it lol. I’m half inclined to just go for it. But don’t know if I’d actually enjoy it because there forever that teeny tiny ‘what if’ isn’t there 😕. I will probably test which I’ve never done so early and not really feeling the thought of it. It will be a bfn which again ruins all hope or It will be the not in a million years bfp and well that comes with its own risks at a week past ov 🙈.

It’s certainly getting real @Russkispy i will be keeping everything 🤞 and wishing you lots of luck 😊.