35+ TTC#1 Thread 7

[PixieN]

It’s time for a new thread for a lovely bunch of ladies supporting each other through our TTC efforts, possible IVF plans, possible alternative life journeys and adventures with or without babies after the age of 35. Think that about sums it up

@BambiOnIce80 @79andnotout @CNizzle @VenusStarr @QuantumGirl @Carley321 @Wannabemum38 @Russkispy @Kescilly @Laney79 @Weathergirl1 @Pinkywoo @birdbybird

I’ve included everyone who has posted on the last four pages of the previous thread. Hope that’s o.k as I know some of you have graduated to another thread, but still like to check in and apologies if i’ve missed anyone.

Lots of luck to everyone at whatever stage we’re at 💕

@Annabe11 I feel the same about the family. We’ve not really told anyone. But with the laparoscopy coming up I feel I need to let the cat out of the bag. It’s a little sad because I would have liked to surprise everyone if the day finally came where we were lucky. But I don’t think we’ll get there.

Sorry af got you @wannabemum38 it’s horrible to be messed with. I think I’ve had every symptom under the sun for af the last year. So everything leads that way for me. I’m only CD24 (usually a 30/33 day cycle) and am already having af symptoms and cramps 😕.

Do you mean heard anything about the Lap @BambiOnIce80 ? I’ve had a copy of the letter that my private doctor sent to nhs referring me for one. But nothing else.
Oh that’s frustrating about FW. But you never know I guess🤞🤞. It’s good you have your appointment soon, I’m sure having some clarity over things will help keep you positive. X

Hello, it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago so I've qualified for this thread!
Feels bizarre that I was 33 when I started to ttc

@Carley321 I know exactly what you mean! Not exactly the 'surprise'!! conversation that I had in mind 😂 still, probably be a weight off to tell my family as we are really close! And my sis will no found fall pg in no time so I better be open!

Have you had a date for your laparoscopy? I joined this thread late so sorry if you've written your situation and I've missed it! I've got a consultant appt next week and an ultrasound the following week! Hoping the laparoscopy won't be long after either!

@Carley321 oh I've just re read your message that you've had a referral! Hopefully they won't keep you waiting too long!

Welcome @bunhead34 ! And happy belated birthday 🍰

hello @bunhead34 welcome. How has your ttc journey been so far?

we have had to come clean at the moment to @Annabe11 I think when its been this long and your having tests there's only so long you can hide it. Everyone is literally falling pregnant before me, in the time we have been trying it's been, sis in law, cousin, close friend and best friend. Happy for them but so frustrated for me!

Which I'm down about really. Feeling a bit envious at the people who just get that bfp and surprise everyone with their lovely news. But hey ho life goes on.

I'm on CD27 so af due anytime up to Monday I think. so few more days of wishful thinking to go, before trying it all over again lol.

Hope this message isn't to depressing lol.

@Carley321 thanks for the welcome
I've been ttc for about 15months. Never had a positive.
All gps tests came back fine! I've now been referred to the fertility clinic and they are re-doing scan and bloods.
I think I've got endo so hoping to get that looked into.
Feeling very shitey at the moment as everyone else seems to be pregnant!

I've not really come clean to anyway, only my sister and best friend know.
I think my general friend group know as I mentioned I was trying about a million years ago, by not mentioned it again! So that feels a bit awks.
I have zero desire to tell any family! Don't need to see my mil crying about it 🙈

I think I'll have to tell work soon, as I'll need time for appointments. They'll prob think I'm having appointments because I'm already pregnant 😥

I know how you feel @Bunhead34. it's a really frustrating time. I.ve never had a bfp either, not even an inkling of one lol.

why do you suspect endo?

We have had tests etc done and I have a blocked fallopian tube, also questioning endo and now waiting for a laparoscopy. just feeling in limbo at the moment.

@Carley321 good you are getting checked out! Is it the gp sending you for the laparoscopy or the fertility clinic?

I had some investigations a few years ago as I was concerned that my period had gotten very painful and heavier. But I only had a scan. I should have pushed more but I wasn't ttc then and they just put me on the pill.
Since coming off the pill to ttc I've had upto a week of dark brown blood before my actual period, which is getting increasingly painful. I've read that the dark brown can be old blood from bursting cysts?!
I also get diarrhea (TMI!) on my period (another symptom), and generally feel sick a lot (another symptom!) can't believe I'm only just putting these pieces together now tbh

@bunhead34 I have similar symptoms. I get nauseous, and have the brown spotting for a few days before af, but the only thing then is my period is very light. Maybe a day or so of light spotting. I also get side discomfort.

The fertility clinic has referred me over to the nhs for the lap. I’m a little nervous what they are going to find to be honest. The disappointment after the hsg was hard enough.

@Carley321 @bunhead34

Hi ladies! We are all totally in the same boat!! It's so nice having this group to offload on! Frustrating week for me, it's OV week and I've been struck with a nasty virus which has meant absolutely no action this week. Even though I've felt awful i still feel so annoyed that this is a whole month wasted 🤣🤣 it's only a month but your head goes mental doesn't it!!!!

I've never had a BFP in 16months, I've also never had a positive OPK! Although bloods showed that I'm ovulating. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm the same re periods, don't think they're particularly heavy but I have bad back and tummy pain for a good week before, sometimes spotting, sometimes nausea. You can have severe Endo with no symptoms, or you can have symptoms and no endo, so try not to worry about it until you know for definite.

I've managed to get my laparoscopy through my health care so I'm seeing the consultant next week and hoping to jump the 6m waiting list! Also been booked for an NHS ultra sound. Will be nice to get looked at, I'm quite positive and hopeful nothing is wrong, I really believe everything happens when it's supposed to. But it's just so hard when it's happening so easily for everyone else!!!!

I told my parents this week!!!! I was really anxious about it, but they were amazing!!!! My mum has been sending me 'tips' 😂 which is weird, but I do feel better for telling them!

We have 12 top quality blasts in the freezer. 2 of them were biopsied and PGS tested. I just got results back and both are healthy and no abnormalities detected. A huge relief and passed another huge milestone.
Next weekend I’ll be flying to our clinic for a scan, after AF next week, to check on the cyst and also determine whether I’ll have natural or medicated cycle before transfer in 3 weeks or so. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@Russkispy that’s fab. I’m so glad you are continuing to have such positive results 🤞🤞. You must be so eager to get it all going xx

@Annabe11 @bunhead34

We are sounding very similar aren’t we.... speaking of the disappointing brown crap... i have some today. So another month gone and done 😕.

I’m seriously struggling today ladies. I am feeling so low over it all. I've even had a mini breakdown and just sobbed my heart out. I just want to know what my future has in store for me 😕

How is @BambiOnIce80 doing? Don’t you have an appointment coming up?

Oooh, things are getting moving for you now @Russkispy!! Exciting times!! 🤩

I'm so, so sorry that you're feeling so rubbish @Carley321 💔 I'd be giving you a hug if I could, but seems I can't you can have a virtual one instead 🤗 I absolutely know how you feel 😔 I'm trying not to think about it all, especially with our initial IVF appointment coming up on Monday because this could be the end of our journey, depending on what the results of the AMH/AFC are. I've been trying to stay calm, but I suspect my stress levels (work stuff and other social rushing around too, to be fair) are effecting my toppy prolactin - and therefore my cycle... It's CD16 here and I haven't had a temp rise to indicate I've ovulated yet 🙄 I've got this horrible feeling that I'll finally get to my appointment on Monday and the AFC scan results will be "sorry love, you've left it too late - you've knob all follicles. You've missed your chance" 😔 Not long left to wait to find out, at least 🔮 Any news on that lap appointment yet?

Welcome @bunhead34 👋 It's all bloody frustrating, isn't it?! They can't find anything wrong with me either, which I think is almost worse than finding a problem - at least we know if they can fix us if they can find something! Hoping you get some answers soon 🤞🏻

Sending everyone else love and hoping you're all well.x

Oh @BambiOnIce80 I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Things are getting very real for you. I hope you have positive news tomorrow?
Any luck with the temp rise yet? I’m sure your follicles will be fine but 🤞 just in case. Our bodies are just so typical aren’t they, nothing works as and when it should 🙈🙄. I’m such a stress head that I wonder if that’s what affects my period.

Thank you for the hug, I was definitely in need of it ☺️ No news on the lap but I have a letter to book my gaeny apt (I think this is the referral from months ago) so wondering if I should ring to explain or just go to it and listen to their opinion.

I'd take the appointment I think @Carley321 👍🏻 I'd imagine it'd be gynae that'd arrange a lap, so I think you'd be in thd right place to get that arranged. Is the appointment soon (I hope it is! 🤞🏻)?

My temp did indeed rise the next morning, so ov'd CD 16 in the end. Nothing too unusual in that to be honest, but my freaking out about it probably reflects how mental all the stress is making me at the moment! 🤪😏

So, things are looking like they'll be going ahead from our IVF appointment today (💩 is getting very, very real!). My AFC was decent/normal - 5 on right and 6 on left ovaries, so they are anticipating my AMH shouldn't be low either 😪 Will find that out in 10 days time when we have our nurse appointment, but so far it looks like we'll be down-regging in November and having IVF in December... Eek!! 🤯🤯🤯

@BambiOnIce80 I was thinking about you today and wanted to wish you luck but rushed off to work without my phone. Which is also why I didn’t get chance to ring and arrange an appointment for gynae 🙈. I’ll get it done tomoz. Hopefully there won’t be to much of a wait 🤞. Everything is so slow.

I’m so glad you had positive news that’s fab. So just another short wait (easy to say) and then you will be well on your way... very very exciting and stressful times for you. What exactly does the AMH do that’s different to the test today?

How are you feeling?

Just checking in with the thread ladies! Long time no see.things are moving forward @bambionice80! Exciting!
@Russkispy glad to hear things are spunding positive.
Nowt to report ttc-wise here. Had another ACS appt, again, told I was too overweight, but still under 2 years ttc. Doc was a bit sharp I felt, said current waiting list is 6 months, so if I get referred for ivf in November, I'll definitely be 40 when I reach the top. Therefore 1 cycle only IF, i get my weight down..
Well, the wedding is booked, & it's in March!! So I'm hitting myfitnespal hard, 6 months til the wedding, and probably less time to lose 3 stone! Feck! I need someone to chase me round the gym!

Oh crikey, it's like going to work with your arm cut off when you've forgotten your mobile phone isn't it @Carley321?! 😱😜 Fingers-crossed you can get your appointment sorted out today 🤞🏻 The AMH is a hormone level that indicates how well we'll respond to the fertility drugs, so they take that level and the AFC into consideration when tailoring our treatment plan 💊 It still doesn't feel real yet, but maybe it will next week when we have the second appointment. I've got a 💩-tonne of questions to ask about the down-regging regimen 🤓 The doc said they've started giving women the pill for 2 weeks and then only a couple of injections at the end to regulate our cycles, which I've never come across before in my reading 🧐 Sounds bloody amazeballs though!! It'd be far less stressful doing that, especially as we're travelling abroad in November and I thought I'd have to take the injections with me and keep them refrigerated/off the radar of DP's curious family! 💉 🤫🤦‍♀️ She said they've introduced this regimen to reduce the number of injections we need to take and therefore the stress of it all - winning! 😁

Did you have a nice time in New York @CNizzle? 🌃 How unnecessary for your doc to be unpleasant 😕 You've got to wonder why some people go into the caring profession! Very exciting to hear the wedding is booked 💒 What a fab distraction from TTC 😊

Hello all. Hoping I can join back in with this supportive group of ladies! I was on here a few threads ago but got a bit tired and disillusioned with the whole TTC thing and all but gave up.
I just turned 40, DP is 44 and we have been TTC #1 (for me) for almost 2 years. DP had 2 children 25 years ago but I have never been pregnant. I had bloods and he had a SA last year and all seems pretty normal including my AMH - bang on average for my age (which is obviously not amazing but good to know its not really dire.
I also had an HSG last month, that was really uncomfortable but showed no abnormalities. Unfortunately we don't qualify for free IVF where we live (NZ) and can't afford it ourselves so our fertility doctor has prescribed me a course of Clomiphene. I'm expecting AF on the 14th (DP has been working away this month so no false hope) and will start taking it after that.
I have to admit, I am really bricking it. I've been so pessimistic about conceiving ever since the first few months but then somehow had started feeling that since we had made the effort and paid for a private fertility consult and tests that this would magically make the difference and i will definitely absolutely certainly conceive on Clomid. And then I did some research and the research shows absolutely dire results. Especially for over 40's, where the side effects etc can actually have more of a contraceptive effect! Oh and the sound of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome is terrifying.... gain 15lbs of fluid in one week anyone? And possibly die? But if I'm honest, it's the only thing we can think to try as we haven't been successful otherwise.
Did anyone watch the Q+A with Dr Robert Winston on the Genesis Research Trust FB page? You can watch it on the website too. I was pleased he was so pragmatic about all the treatment options but it was a bit depressing!! Don't watch if you're feeling down about TTC!
@BambiOnIce80 I'm so happy ot see you have adopted a little black kitten. We lost our beloved all-black DCat a couple of months ago after a traumatic illness and I am quite literally lost without him. The house is horribly empty. The plan is to adopt a rescue dog and then cat in short succession but as each Clomid course will be $$ (fully monitored so scans bloods etc) we may have to wait until we've either conceived or given up!

Lovely to hear from you @Chelonia, but sorry to hear you've been going through it 💐 I had wondered how you were getting on 🙂 Very, very sorry to hear about your cat though 😔 My little goblin-kitten is coming along nicely, thank you 😼 He's nearly 6 months old now and has learnt to come when he's called, play fetch and sit... he really is shaping up as the puppy I couldn't have! 😹 On the IVF front, we didn't think we could afford it either, but we both got 0% for 24 months credit cards and are splitting the cost between them - no way we'd be able to do it otherwise 💸

Did you manage to make your gynae appointment @Carley321?x

Sorry if this is an unwelcome shout @PixieN, but thinking of you and hope you're doing OK 💐

1 minor-ish update at my end. Can some of you remember a while back I'd read about hard-boiled and slutty eggs being a cause of primary explained infertility and it only being found out when we have IVF? Well, I've kind of started obsessing about that now that our treatment plan appointment is coming up on Thursday 🤪 We were leaning towards insisting on having ICSI to limit the possibility of a failed cycle (where the eggs don't fertilise - we absolutely can't afford to do this again! 😔), but I was worrying I was being a bit irrational 😬 Randomly mentioned starting IVF to my beautician on Saturday (due to ummimg and ahhhing about when to make my next appointment) and turns out she had to have ICSI due to having hard boiled eggs! 🥚🤯🥚🤯 Her IVF cycle failed because her eggs weren't permeable to sperm, but she got pregnant through ICSI! Definitely feel validated in my mentalness now, so we're very much going to insist upon ICSI on Thursday - we're bloody well paying for it, afterall! 😳

@BambiOnIce80 I’m so sorry I am only now seeing both your messages. I did t realise there’d been chat on the thread and was having a little break so didn’t check as much as I would.

Well all of that sound brill, so it sounds as if you can carry on mostly as normal then? So glad it’s all been positive news for you. You don’t at all sound mad, even before the reassurance from your beautician lol. I would be so much more crazy than you 😳. What is ICSI? So your appointment is Thursday? It’s all going so quick.

I rang and they’ve booked for 29th October. I didn’t even bother to try and explain what’s gone on. I will talk it through when I’m there. It’s always good to talk to someone else too. Maybe I can confirm the info given to me involving the private/nhs ivf too.

Loving your kitty turning into the puppy you never had too 🤣🤣 so cute!

Sorry your feeling crappy @Chelonia I know there’s nothing that can be said to help but you have support here ❤️ Great news about your tests all coming back positive though, maybe the peace of mind alone will help! I’m sure we will all get there when the time is right 🙏 xx

No worries @Carley321 😘 I find I'm not getting notifications all the time recently and, like you, I've been trying to chill (and failing, obvs, but at least I'm trying! 😂).

ICSI is "intracytoplasmic sperm injection", so basically instead of shoving our eggs and DP's sperm into a petri dish and letting them get on with it themselves (aka. normal IVF), the lab make a teeny weeny cut in the egg and then select a good looking single sperm and inject it into the egg directly (thus getting around the potential hard boiled/slutty egg problem of IVF). The down side to ICSI is that just because the sperm the lab picks looks good, doesn't necessarily mean that it's good quality so fertilisation may fail for that reason instead. Neither method gives guaranteed fertilisation, but my gut says ICSI would at least remove the risk of having a failed cycle due to the hard boiled/slutty eggs 👍 We'll see what they say to my reasoning on Thursday 🔮

The 29th isn't long to wait! 😃 I hope they can get your lap moved up the list too 🤞🏻🍀

@BambiOnIce80 i can see why it’s auch a hard decision. What the heck is for the best. I’m interested to hear what your doc advises. How’s the wait for that appointment going?

I think we are trying to chill in the same kind of style 🤣. As soon as FW ends up coming closer I get more and more obsessed which is obviously not good because I just need to chill about it all. But I just can’t I’m so angry with myself over it all. My anxiety’s and over obsessing could be the reason (well 1 of) that we keep failing. 😕 I so just want to go on holiday for a month to see if it works lol.

When even is the best time to take some chill time.... during FW or during

Hi @BambiOnIce80 I think ICSI can have it's own issues (DNA damage maybe?) and you should have a decent number of eggs so maybe do half and half. I think that's what JaneFX40 did previously but can't quite remember. I think my sister did this and got a high percentage of fertilisation. Have you had your AMH results yet?

@Chelonia nice to hear from you. Do you think ovulating is the issue for you? Maybe clomid will work, it has done for one person I know. But not for the other few. Although IVF didn't work for them either. Sorry to hear about your cat.