Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...4!

[SparrowSG]

Here's our new thread (sorry, not good at coming up with exciting titles!!)

SparrowSG: 44. 1 DS 2.5. TTC for ever! 1 ectopic 10 wks Feb 2014, 1 successful IVF 2016, 1 failed IVF 2018, 1 MC 12 wks Feb 2019. Planned IVF Oct 2019.
KCM99: 43, 2 DC, ttc no.3 since April. 3 early losses since then.

I don't understand all the acronyms. Can someone explain them?

Thank you so much for all the positive stories everyone, they have really lifted my spirits! And @turquoiseturtle congratulations- I hope your pregnancy is going smoothly :)
Have a good weekend all!

Hi all. Had scan and nipt on Tuesday. Just got my results back and was shaking. Its all good news... Low risk, I can't believe it. I'm still very nervous but hey its one hurdle over and done with

Congratulations @rubyroot that's fantastic news, so pleased for you xx

@rubyroot that’s wonderful news! I’m very happy for you :) Great news to receive just before the weekend x

@samosaurus I had DC1 at just 42 and am having DC2 soon- I'm now 44. Absolutely no medical interventions. I'm secretly hoping DH might agree to try for #3 too but aware that I'll be 45+ and trying my luck in a big way! I did have a MC inbetween the two successful pregnancies.

So, so sorry about the recent MC (Hmmmmm)- good luck with next tries.

@rubyroot Yay! Just wondering your age and how many DCs/their ages.

Congratulations @rubyroot - great news! Xx

Hi @PetraRabbit I'm 41 very soon and one boy age 20 months. I've had a termination last year at 13.5 diagnosed with t21 so this test is a big milestone for me. I also had a chemical just before this pregnancy. Fingers crossed the rest of pregnancy goes smoothly.

Thanks all I cried like a baby. @PetraRabbit that's great to hear more positive stories.

So sorry to hear about your MC hmmm123, heartbreaking to happen and not great either to be away from home. Big hugs to you.

Good news on your results rubyroot

Hope all is going well with your pregnancy PetraRabbit

Russkispy when I had my MC back in Feb I was bleeding for a month afterwards, and only stopped as they put me on Norethisterone for two weeks. The consultant at the hospital was reluctant to do any surgical 'clear out' as he said after a MC the lining of the uterus is very delicate. Also, at a later appointment with another consultant (head of the EPAU), she said that as you get older it does take longer for the hormones to settle after a loss. I hope yours settle down too soon so you can get back on track (and get away from the EPAU!).

Thanks all for the encouragement for my next cycle, must admit I am not feeling that positive myself as at a scan last week (to check everything looks ok) only spotted one follicle on my left and maybe two on my right. So we will see... have already been warned by the Dr that my chances are very slim so I need to try to stay realistic about the outcome.

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend

Great news rubyoot!

@SparrowSG thank you! Back to EPU next week, hopefully for the final HCG repeats! And apparently the consultant then tells me the next steps. In the meantime, our donor started her stims yesterday and we booked flights to go home/clinic next weekend, for her egg collection/fertilization around 9-11 September. I'll receive updates up to that point. I must admit I'm feeling nervous and excited and just can't believe it's all happening! I'll be seeing my doctor and decide whether I'll actually need a hysteroscopy and if so, will get it done there.
@rubyroot fantastic news! What a relief!

Great news @ Rubyroot, really pleased for you.

Great positive stories from all who conceived naturally in their forties.

So I had my appointment today at the clinic. It left me rather underwhelmed TBH and slightly confused with regards to my cycles.
The consultant didn't really say anything new that I already don't know. She didn't actually know what Vitex was for!!! She's never even heard of it, she had to Google it and I had to explain why I'm taking it.
She said that I should stop taking it because there is no real evidence that it is beneficial in terms of supporting fertility. I thought that was rather ignorant of her really, how can she say to stop taking it if she's never even heard of it?! As a consultant, she really should do some thorough research before commenting whether to take it or not.
I will carry on taking it, because I've been on it just over 3 months now and from the research I've done, it does say that in order to to have the maximum benefit,one should take it for at least 3 months.
I don't have any side effects from it, although I don't know whether it's beneficial in terms of my fertility, my cycles are very regular and I'd like to keep it that way.

Now, to the interesting bit....
She did a scan, and she said that I have just literally ovulated and I'm only on CD9! I've been doing OPK-s as I always do twice a day and there was no LH surge on my OPK-s whatsoever, I did say this to her and she said rather bluntly that we are not all textbook cases.. and ovulation days can vary month to month (which I knew anyway).
In previous months, I always picked up an LH surge around CD11 or 12, so it came as a huge surprise that I've ovulated on CD9. I also just started having EWCM today.
So if I have already ovulated, then how come I'm getting EWCM now? I just don't understand.
On the scan, she detected four mature follicles in the right ovary and five in the left, for which she said is quite average for my age (40). Not excellent, but not bad either. She said for a 30 year old woman, she'd expect 15 mature follicles for that age group.

It has now left me wondering that have we missed ovulation every month because I ovulate very early in the cycle, as I have been relying on my EWCM for ovulation clues (I don't temp).
Is it possible to ovulate on the same day as ovulating also? But then again, she gave me no real explanation at all leaving me all confused.
They also took bloods for AMH levels, I find out the results of that next week.
The other thing she said was basically I have the same chance conceiving naturally as with IVF (about 20%), slightly better chances with IVF because they would be able to harvest more eggs and would be checking the embryos for chromosomal abnormalities, therefore lowering the chances of having a MC.

I'm not sure where this all leaves me, but I have a very strong gut feeling that we've been missing ovulation every month as I relied heavily on my body signs.
I will keep on TTC naturally for now, I have great faith that even though I might not produce a huge amount of eggs, I'm hoping to catch that one and only.
Sorry for the long post.

How's everyone else doing?

@Zigzag11 the last couple of cycles I got pregnant both times but unfortunately first was chemical. I decided to start having sex every day soon after end of period. I read online somewhere that research shows that men spunking every day is good for rejuvenating sperm too. 😂 Great way to spice up your sex life.

Also regarding ewcm i did find sometimes that I had this for about a week!

I'm still trying to catch up with all the posts.

Wishing you all the luck for your next cycle @SparrowSG. Keep us updated.

@russkispy, I'm very excited for you, I'm certain you will get your rainbow baby.

@Samosaurus, let us know how you're getting on

@KCM99, hope you're OK?

Sorry if I can't mention everyone, hard to keep up with the thread.

And I just also wanted say that I love this thread, all of you are so lovely and supportive.
Baby dust to us all.

@rubyroot, that is what I will be doing from now on. Having sex every day as soon as AF stops (much to my DH delight :-)
We're having a bet who will tire out sooner

I'm so pleased for you BTW, it is really excellent news.

@Zigzag11 sorry you were left feeling underwhelmed, it does seem odd to have ovulated so early when all your physical sign are later. I guess this could just be a random early ovulation this cycle? In any case my consultant suggested every other day from day 8 should hopefully catch an egg. Do you bbt - that's a good way to pinpoint when you are ovulating. I agree with you, everyone on this thread is so lovely!

@PetraRabbit Thank you so much for sharing your story, I hope your pregnancy is going well, did you find out if you are having a boy or girl?

@rubyroot has the good news from today sunk in yet? You have given me hope that there is hope after a T21 pregnancy.

Thank you again to everyone who shared their positive experiences, I am really feeling better about things after reading your experience. I'm on cd 12 and got a positive opk strip today, although my clearblue test still has the empty circle so I'm not sure what is going on there!

Wishing you all a good weekend, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed some more bfps appear on this thread very soon :)

@Samosaurus it's been a very emotional day! For the first time this pregnancy I've actually felt like a baby is a real possibility. I'm still anxious of course, given my history and age.

It's really really lovely that my positive test results can give you hope. I've always felt that it's just a case of getting the right egg. Yes, okay perhaps 60% of mine are dud. But hopefully that means that some won't fertilise and then out of the ones that do, there has to be a good egg in there somewhere.

Goodnight all you lovely ladies. I'll come back periodically to update you all, but I realise some may not want constant updates from pregnant ladies. But I'm always stalking to see how you're all getting on. x

@Zigzag11 - just read your post and thought I'd comment... with my DS (6) we were ttc for about 10 months without any kind of charting etc (I was young and naive back then!) and nothing was happening... A friend then suggested using persona - which is basically like the clear blue fertility monitor but is usually used for letting you know when NOT to have sex if you don't want to be pregnant, and it showed me that my fertile window started as soon as my period finished. 2 months later we finally got pregnant with my DS and I'm sure it took that long as we'd been missing the window so often - I ovulated around CD8/9 but often had remains of period up to cd7. I suspect that something in my anatomy means that it takes some time for blood/mucous to make its way down?? (Sorry tmi!) hence why I'd not get the signs until too late.

Zigzag - I think some 'consultants' really know bugger all. I had a rubbish experience when I saw my first one. I'm convinced she just got pulled out of the GP office to fill in as she really knew nothing. A specialist in the field will surely have heard of vitex?
Are you sure she was correct with ovulation too? Also 20% chance naturally at 40 with 9 follicles is incorrect. Sounds like she was talking out of her arse.
Will you keep doing opks now to see what happens? I would. It is possible for signs etc to not correlate with ovulation so you are best off just covering all bases. I have the opposite in that my ewcm seems to happen way before actual ovulation, sometimes nearly a week before (only one patch) and my temp rises later than when I think ovulation has happened, so who knows. Our bodies are a mystery.
Did your consultant recommend IVF for you? Or to continue as you are? My consultant refused to recommend anything at all.

@Hobbes39, thanks for your thoughts and sharing your experience.
You could be right about CM making it's way down late. When I got home after the appointment, EWCm was literally dripping out of me (sorry for tmi!)
I strongly suspect that I ovulate early and we've been missing my fertile window pretty much. My cycles are fairly short at around 25 days, so it is a possibility that I ovulate very early in the cycle and have a very short time frame between seeing the CM and actually ovulating.

@Cleozeta, I didn't click with her at all.
She was very much churning out statistics and facts and medical evidence. She failed to view me as a person and acknowledge the fact that there is more to conception than physical hard facts.
She said once she gets my AMH results, she would be able to tell me whether IVF likely to be successful or not, and in the meantime keep trying naturally. She didn't elaborate much and she didn't recommend anything at all other than telling me to put some more weight on (my BMI is on the lower side). Didn't recommend any supplements, no suggestions whatsoever, she came across as a very hard pro-IVF type of person.
She did show the scan of the ovary where I'd just ovulated from and there was clearly a corpus luteum cyst, which occurs after an egg has been released from a follicle, some very small amount of blood strings were inside the cyst which happens when the egg bursts out ( I did recognize it as I work in a medical field and have seen many ultrasound pictures).

I think I'm going to ditch the OPK-s for now and just DTD every day or every second day as soon as AF stops at around CD6 and see what happens.
How are you getting on?

Zigzag - your consultant sounds like mine, except mine was not interested in recommending IVF to me. She just skimmed the basics of how IVF worked (really basic - like 5 seconds) followed by a quick reason why it wouldn't help me (it would not improve my chances from natural trying and would not prevent a mc). I left feeling lost, angry and lost of hope.
She also refused to prescribe progesterone for my 9 day lp, saying I could ask for it once I get my bfp (clearly not going to get one with a 9 day lp)
Anyway I have seen someone else since who has given me progesterone, but still no bfp now since my cp last oct, so seriously considering IVF now (at a different clinic)

Such good news @rubyroot, fingers crossed all goes well

@Zigzag11 our bodies are a mystery. It's good that you now know that you might ovulate early, as the knowledge itself gets you to increase your chances. Hoping this is your baby dust spark that you need.

While waiting for my first blood test results I had a fertility acupuncture appointment on Friday. I enjoyed it and it helped relax me. She suggested I track my BBT and that there were many apps I could use.

Do you have a good suggestion of an app?

I also want to start using an OPK again. Clear blue is so expensive, do you have suggestions for cheaper ones that are good?

Sending baby dust to all!